inclusion soccer

[Guest guest]

I read your post with interest although I don't know any answers regarding the

law or inclusion issues. My first impression was that all the team players need

to be able to follow the rules and instructions from the coach. You can't have

a " difficult " child breaking the rules or causing problems on the field of with

team mates regardless of their disabilities. In my opinion if you can't control

your behavior than you need to be taken out of the situation or else everyone

would be coming up with excuses for their behavior. Some things just aren't

acceptable and I don't think the coach should be responsible for having to

concentrate on behavior modification.

As far as your child participating with his CI, I would think that that is

something that you would have to be responsible for and take the risk if

something were to happen to your son or his equipment. The other kids on the

team also have the same chance of getting hurt on the field as your son. As far

as the equipment goes I think that would just be a personal decision as to

whether you were comfortable with taking that risk, but it shouldn't be the team

coach's responsibility if something happens. Aren't there forms to this effect

that are filled out when the season starts?

K

's mom, 3.11 yrs, CI 7/30/02

www.caringbridge.org/va/ryanbay

[Guest guest]

Hi Lydia - I talked with my husband about this. He coaches for our local rec

dept and of course, both our boys are deaf (he coaches our youngest) so I was

interested in his perspective.

Hugh - that's my husband (we just had our 25th anniversary!) - volunteers his

time as a coach and doesn't get much training to coach - also the rules about

inclusion have never been reviewed with him and the other coaches. The head of

our town's rec league - while nice - just isn't very effective or organized and

is very hands off in handling coaches so it can be a real pot shot in who you

get as a coach. Hugh works in Athletics at Dartmouth so has training for

coaching but not all parents do. I know we had a nightmare coach in basketball

- he'd play the three best players all the time and the 7 other kids might get

to play 5 minutes a game. It's just not the way it should be for 3rd and 4th

graders. My point is - at least in our town - coaches aren't consistent and are

for the most part parents of kids on the teams. It's wonderful that they take

the time to volunteer - but the oversight above from the rec dept is scanty at

best. And of course most parents don't have experience working with special

needs kids unless they have one of their own - that's why Hugh coaches!

As others have expressed, the behavior of the one child was based on the kid's

behavior and I don't think because he was being discriminated against in some

way. Behavior like that - to the point of a child having their tooth chipped -

just isn't acceptable and the kid and mom should understand that. Hugh would

have talked with the child first, then with the child and the parent to let them

know what the problem is and the consequences.

Hugh ended up this year with an austistic child on his team. The child doesn't

do well in new situations and unfortunately, none of his friends were on our

team but on another team. She was very angry with Hugh that that happened, even

when Hugh offered to talk to the coach of the team where the kid's friends are

to see if maybe they could swap but the mom refused. Hugh told her that in the

future, she should let someone - the rec dept or one of the coaches - know her

child's situation so that perhaps he can be with friends in the future.

Sorry this is so long - it's a difficult situation on all sides but think the

ultimate responsibility lies with the rec dept or whoever is organizing teams.

Good luck!

Barbara

*******************************

Barbara Mellert

Manager, Social Science Computing

Kiewit Computing Services

Dartmouth College

13A Silsby Hall; HB 6121

Hanover NH 03755

Telephone: 603/646-2877

URL: http://www.dartmouth.edu/~ssc

[Guest guest]

Debbie,

Try not to get too upset about the situation. It will probably work itself out

on it's own. My daughter started playing soccer when she was 5, and is now on

her third season (she is 6 1/2 now). She is a horrible soccer player, but she

likes to play most of the time, and I figure it is good physical activity as

well as socially. She doesn't understand what the coach is telling her to do

most of the time, but she manages. I'm surprised that you all have goalies at

age 5, in our area I don't think we get goalies until they are 8. And the box

thing, we just started that this year as well. And my daughter has a hard time

with that too. We've seen many children (all hearing) on opposing teams that

have girls that are busy pulling the flowers (weeds) from the field, or running

the other direction from the ball and the rest of the children, or twirling

their hair, etc. Now a year later, those same players have gotten so much

better. I feel like it would be helpful if the coach delt with the goalie thing

(because you know, Moms don't know anything!

And as far as the other parents, most know what it is like to have a " spirited

child " (aka strong-willed), or know someone that has one, so don't worry about

them.

Good luck.

Robin, mom to Brittney, 6, SNHL, , 4, hearing

[Guest guest]

Debbie

Years ago we were in the same situation..back in 99. My Hayley played with

a typical team. She held her own. I asked for an interpreter, but didn't

get it and didn't want to push the issue as AYSO is volunteer. What DID

happen, though, was that the head of the region asked me if I would consider

putting Hayley on the VIP - the special needs team. To be honest, I was

pretty offended, but understood that we would only do it for this one year

while Hayley got the soccer basics down. We would go to the " Special " team

and play, and everybody else played and had a wonderful time, and then we

would go later to the " regular " team where I would bribe her with Mcs.

Turned out I was bribing her and making me more nervous and then NOBODY was

having a good time. We finished the season and all in all she did pretty

well playing two games a day. We did it all over again with track. (More

bribing, more being upset). We then did taekwando. That was the best of all

and very visual. No hanging around waiting for the ball to maybe come to

you.

But because we had such a good time with the special team... we still play

with them. I understand it is not what many would want for their kids. But

I will tell you, we have a lot of people stopping to watch the special team

and then they figure out that our kids are having fun, both teams are being

cheered on, and they realize that we're all having a great time with each

other. My 16 year old is one of the assistant coaches and helps with the

younger kids who are reticent to get out there. It's now more of a family

thing - the parents hang out and talk about IEPs and the evil Dr.

__________at the school district.

Debbie, to be honest, you sound miserable " Well the last three practices

and games have been a nightmare for me. " Soccer at age five should be

about fun. Your daughter is only five....I think at five is pretty young to

have a bad time at soccer. Are you sure she wants to play? When all the

activity is down at the other end, when you're goalie, it gets pretty lonely

and boring.

I'd stick it out with only four more games but try to make it fun. Ask the

coach if you can talk to the other kids about hearing loss and maybe teach

them a few signs to help them communicate down the field with .

And don't worry about the other parents. They are probably not thinking

anything, except that they are mad at their own kid for what she did or

ddin't do that day either.

I do understand. Good Luck. Remember, even if she is deaf or HH, she is

still only 5.

>>

>Ok, I have a question about soccer and wondering how you would handle it.

> is playing soccer (if you can call it that). We started towards the

>end of August and have 4 games left.

[Guest guest]

Debbie

Years ago we were in the same situation..back in 99. My Hayley played with

a typical team. She held her own. I asked for an interpreter, but didn't

get it and didn't want to push the issue as AYSO is volunteer. What DID

happen, though, was that the head of the region asked me if I would consider

putting Hayley on the VIP - the special needs team. To be honest, I was

pretty offended, but understood that we would only do it for this one year

while Hayley got the soccer basics down. We would go to the " Special " team

and play, and everybody else played and had a wonderful time, and then we

would go later to the " regular " team where I would bribe her with Mcs.

Turned out I was bribing her and making me more nervous and then NOBODY was

having a good time. We finished the season and all in all she did pretty

well playing two games a day. We did it all over again with track. (More

bribing, more being upset). We then did taekwando. That was the best of all

and very visual. No hanging around waiting for the ball to maybe come to

you.

But because we had such a good time with the special team... we still play

with them. I understand it is not what many would want for their kids. But

I will tell you, we have a lot of people stopping to watch the special team

and then they figure out that our kids are having fun, both teams are being

cheered on, and they realize that we're all having a great time with each

other. My 16 year old is one of the assistant coaches and helps with the

younger kids who are reticent to get out there. It's now more of a family

thing - the parents hang out and talk about IEPs and the evil Dr.

__________at the school district.

Debbie, to be honest, you sound miserable " Well the last three practices

and games have been a nightmare for me. " Soccer at age five should be

about fun. Your daughter is only five....I think at five is pretty young to

have a bad time at soccer. Are you sure she wants to play? When all the

activity is down at the other end, when you're goalie, it gets pretty lonely

and boring.

I'd stick it out with only four more games but try to make it fun. Ask the

coach if you can talk to the other kids about hearing loss and maybe teach

them a few signs to help them communicate down the field with .

And don't worry about the other parents. They are probably not thinking

anything, except that they are mad at their own kid for what she did or

ddin't do that day either.

I do understand. Good Luck. Remember, even if she is deaf or HH, she is

still only 5.

>>

>Ok, I have a question about soccer and wondering how you would handle it.

> is playing soccer (if you can call it that). We started towards the

>end of August and have 4 games left.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/23/2004 5:03:48 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

babydewe2@... writes:

She will start to participate, but then decide that she doesn't want to play

and will just stand there. No amount of encouraging her will get her to

move if she has decided not to. Now if she is placed as goalie, she will do

just fine, but she can't always be goalie. It seems that is what she wants,

to

just play goalie. We have tried to explain to her that other kids also get

to have a turn playing goalie.

Debbie,

Oh, this sounds so much like my son but I don't have any advice to give. We

stopped trying to make him play. At first I thought that he just had to get

comfortable, but it was not worth it because he wasn't happy. Ian did not like

team sports because he just couldn't follow things. He still doesn't like

it. Other parents on this list have talked about their kids wearing their FMs

while playing so that the child can hear the coach and it helped. Others have

kids who absolutely thrive in sports with or without FMs. Mine was not one of

those. He prefers karate, gymnastics and swimming. Sports that are more

individual efforts.

For us, the attempts at playing soccer predated the FM system. It predated

our knowing about his hearing loss. But once we learned of it, his reluctance

made sense. Keepuing track of such a large group is hard. Ian would play

soccer with small groups. He would play with my husband's team during practice

even though he was much younger than the team (at that point a JV team). Ian

had

good ball skills and liked playing a passing game. But when we put him with

other kids his age playing bunch-ball (swarm-ball?) he was lost and

miserable. So, we just let it go.

He'll play in the backyard with friends. He'll play pickup games of

baseball, or basketball, or handball, or football. He has great hands -- he can

catch

anything thrown at him and hit anything he aims at. But he simply has no

interest in trying out for a team sport. Hiking, climbing (with harness, ropes,

etc), kayaking ... he'll do it all. But no team sports.

So, give her a chance to settle in but don't be too disappointed if it turns

out not to be her things. My brother who (played ball through high school

and college) can't believe that our son has no interst in baseball because he

has " great hands. " I just shrug and say that it's not his thing. Our house

rule is that he has to have some activity, right now he's chosen karate (along

with all the hiking, climbing and whatnot)

Best -- Jill