Guest guest Posted September 22, 2004 Report Share Posted September 22, 2004 I read your post with interest although I don't know any answers regarding the law or inclusion issues. My first impression was that all the team players need to be able to follow the rules and instructions from the coach. You can't have a " difficult " child breaking the rules or causing problems on the field of with team mates regardless of their disabilities. In my opinion if you can't control your behavior than you need to be taken out of the situation or else everyone would be coming up with excuses for their behavior. Some things just aren't acceptable and I don't think the coach should be responsible for having to concentrate on behavior modification. As far as your child participating with his CI, I would think that that is something that you would have to be responsible for and take the risk if something were to happen to your son or his equipment. The other kids on the team also have the same chance of getting hurt on the field as your son. As far as the equipment goes I think that would just be a personal decision as to whether you were comfortable with taking that risk, but it shouldn't be the team coach's responsibility if something happens. Aren't there forms to this effect that are filled out when the season starts? K 's mom, 3.11 yrs, CI 7/30/02 www.caringbridge.org/va/ryanbay Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 23, 2004 Report Share Posted September 23, 2004 Hi Lydia - I talked with my husband about this. He coaches for our local rec dept and of course, both our boys are deaf (he coaches our youngest) so I was interested in his perspective. Hugh - that's my husband (we just had our 25th anniversary!) - volunteers his time as a coach and doesn't get much training to coach - also the rules about inclusion have never been reviewed with him and the other coaches. The head of our town's rec league - while nice - just isn't very effective or organized and is very hands off in handling coaches so it can be a real pot shot in who you get as a coach. Hugh works in Athletics at Dartmouth so has training for coaching but not all parents do. I know we had a nightmare coach in basketball - he'd play the three best players all the time and the 7 other kids might get to play 5 minutes a game. It's just not the way it should be for 3rd and 4th graders. My point is - at least in our town - coaches aren't consistent and are for the most part parents of kids on the teams. It's wonderful that they take the time to volunteer - but the oversight above from the rec dept is scanty at best. And of course most parents don't have experience working with special needs kids unless they have one of their own - that's why Hugh coaches! As others have expressed, the behavior of the one child was based on the kid's behavior and I don't think because he was being discriminated against in some way. Behavior like that - to the point of a child having their tooth chipped - just isn't acceptable and the kid and mom should understand that. Hugh would have talked with the child first, then with the child and the parent to let them know what the problem is and the consequences. Hugh ended up this year with an austistic child on his team. The child doesn't do well in new situations and unfortunately, none of his friends were on our team but on another team. She was very angry with Hugh that that happened, even when Hugh offered to talk to the coach of the team where the kid's friends are to see if maybe they could swap but the mom refused. Hugh told her that in the future, she should let someone - the rec dept or one of the coaches - know her child's situation so that perhaps he can be with friends in the future. Sorry this is so long - it's a difficult situation on all sides but think the ultimate responsibility lies with the rec dept or whoever is organizing teams. Good luck! Barbara ******************************* Barbara Mellert Manager, Social Science Computing Kiewit Computing Services Dartmouth College 13A Silsby Hall; HB 6121 Hanover NH 03755 Telephone: 603/646-2877 URL: http://www.dartmouth.edu/~ssc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 23, 2004 Report Share Posted September 23, 2004 Hi Lydia - I talked with my husband about this. He coaches for our local rec dept and of course, both our boys are deaf (he coaches our youngest) so I was interested in his perspective. Hugh - that's my husband (we just had our 25th anniversary!) - volunteers his time as a coach and doesn't get much training to coach - also the rules about inclusion have never been reviewed with him and the other coaches. The head of our town's rec league - while nice - just isn't very effective or organized and is very hands off in handling coaches so it can be a real pot shot in who you get as a coach. Hugh works in Athletics at Dartmouth so has training for coaching but not all parents do. I know we had a nightmare coach in basketball - he'd play the three best players all the time and the 7 other kids might get to play 5 minutes a game. It's just not the way it should be for 3rd and 4th graders. My point is - at least in our town - coaches aren't consistent and are for the most part parents of kids on the teams. It's wonderful that they take the time to volunteer - but the oversight above from the rec dept is scanty at best. And of course most parents don't have experience working with special needs kids unless they have one of their own - that's why Hugh coaches! As others have expressed, the behavior of the one child was based on the kid's behavior and I don't think because he was being discriminated against in some way. Behavior like that - to the point of a child having their tooth chipped - just isn't acceptable and the kid and mom should understand that. Hugh would have talked with the child first, then with the child and the parent to let them know what the problem is and the consequences. Hugh ended up this year with an austistic child on his team. The child doesn't do well in new situations and unfortunately, none of his friends were on our team but on another team. She was very angry with Hugh that that happened, even when Hugh offered to talk to the coach of the team where the kid's friends are to see if maybe they could swap but the mom refused. Hugh told her that in the future, she should let someone - the rec dept or one of the coaches - know her child's situation so that perhaps he can be with friends in the future. Sorry this is so long - it's a difficult situation on all sides but think the ultimate responsibility lies with the rec dept or whoever is organizing teams. Good luck! Barbara ******************************* Barbara Mellert Manager, Social Science Computing Kiewit Computing Services Dartmouth College 13A Silsby Hall; HB 6121 Hanover NH 03755 Telephone: 603/646-2877 URL: http://www.dartmouth.edu/~ssc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 23, 2004 Report Share Posted September 23, 2004 Debbie, Try not to get too upset about the situation. It will probably work itself out on it's own. My daughter started playing soccer when she was 5, and is now on her third season (she is 6 1/2 now). She is a horrible soccer player, but she likes to play most of the time, and I figure it is good physical activity as well as socially. She doesn't understand what the coach is telling her to do most of the time, but she manages. I'm surprised that you all have goalies at age 5, in our area I don't think we get goalies until they are 8. And the box thing, we just started that this year as well. And my daughter has a hard time with that too. We've seen many children (all hearing) on opposing teams that have girls that are busy pulling the flowers (weeds) from the field, or running the other direction from the ball and the rest of the children, or twirling their hair, etc. Now a year later, those same players have gotten so much better. I feel like it would be helpful if the coach delt with the goalie thing (because you know, Moms don't know anything! And as far as the other parents, most know what it is like to have a " spirited child " (aka strong-willed), or know someone that has one, so don't worry about them. Good luck. Robin, mom to Brittney, 6, SNHL, , 4, hearing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.