Re: FW: ADD - IEP - Middle school social woes

October 5, 2004

Hi Shabana - you sound like you're describing our situation with our 12 year

old son, Tom. He has ADHD/inattentive and a severe/profound hearing loss and

attends middle school (he's in 6th grade). Tom no longer receives speech and

doesn't have an interpreter - he's oral - but does use an FM system and

receives special education services at school.

We've also chosen to medicate. Tom's currently taking Strattera with a small

dose of adderall during the week to help his focus and it has helped him. He's

a small kid - just 70 lbs and still a little short (heck, I'm his mom!) so

takes 40 mg strattera and 10 mg adderall. We just started that combo this

fall.

He also has a lot of homework. He's been getting a fair amount done in the

learning center where he works with the special ed. teacher and that's helped a

lot. He came to me today, though, and still had tons of homework and was a

basketcase. I try to intervene in that situation and help him see he can take

it step by step and that seems to help him. I have a friend who only lets her

child take the basic subjects - math, english, social studies, etc. and no

other electives and not even French and our school has accommodated that. We

do have in Tom's IEP that he can use a calculator anytime in math (he

absolutely hates math!), he can dictate to me written assignments and can use

his alphasmart whenever possible. Writing is also hard for Tom so that's been

a help.

Tom does have a nice group of friends - sometimes I think boys are easier than

girls. I can hear (but do believe I have ADHD - he comes by it naturally!) and

found middle school difficult. Tom, on the other hand, has really loved it.

He's continuing on with his Taekwondo and he and some friends have discovered

Dungeons and Dragons and they love that.

We've worked hard with Tom on strategies, particularly for math and getting

himself organized. For example, in math, he tends to see a page of problems

and panics - but he knows now to cover up just the line he's working on and

that makes it easier. He's a chatty kid (hmmmm - got that from me too!) so

being able to talk it through outloud for some reason helps him. I'll have him

read the problem first outloud and it seems to anchor him.

ADHD is very, very hard - my younger son is 10 and in 4th grade and has a

profound loss and he's a piece of cake academically! Like you, my boys are

virtually the only deaf/hoh kids in our area but they've integrated well with

the kids in their schools and have nice friends and are active and happy. I

think boys are easier in that regard? I only have boys so don't *do* girls but

perhaps others can help you there.

I've heard the combination of ADHD and deaf/hoh as the " double whammy " and

certainly would agree to that. Is he not focusing because he can't hear or

because of his ADHD? It's always a challenge.

Take care

Barbara

Sorry this is long.

--- You wrote:

My 13 year old daughter, Sabreen, has ADD and a severe to profound hearing loss

and attends a public school. She has an interpreter with her in every class

and receives speech therapy. Here are the problems she's facing:

1. She is taking medication for her ADD, but still has a great deal of

difficulty focusing and completing her assignments. We recently spoke to her

psychiatrist regarding her medication and may consider a change when we see him

in three weeks.

2. She is not able to cope with the piles of homework she receives. Her

teachers and my husband seem to think a reduction in the amount of homework

would lead to poor test preparation and failing grades. Do any of you have

children with ADD that have made special requests on your IEP in addition to

receiving study guides and extra notes?

3. She's exhausted! The poor kid comes home and says how much she hates

school and how she " just can't take it any more. "

4. Despite numerous efforts to invite girls over and large birthday parties

we've hosted, she hasn't formed any friendships at school.

I'm so frustrated and have an appointment with a Psychologist from the Western

PA school for the deaf and am considering changing schools all together.

Unfortunately, everyone I've spoken with, describes their curriculum as

sub-standard.

I am also totally frustrated at the lack of support services for the

hard-of-hearing in NW PA. There is a Hearing and Deaf Services Organization

which is basically useless. Every year I have to search high and low for

tutors, swimming instructors, special camps with people who sign. The social

activities for the HOH kids are always super far from our home and mainly for

younger kids. If any of you have children facing similar issues - Please help!

I need all the help I can get.

--- end of quote ---

*******************************

Barbara Mellert

Manager, Social Science Computing

Kiewit Computing Services

Dartmouth College

13A Silsby Hall; HB 6121

Hanover NH 03755

Telephone: 603/646-2877

URL: http://www.dartmouth.edu/~ssc

October 6, 2004

In a message dated 10/5/2004 4:28:03 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

Shabana@... writes:

2. She is not able to cope with the piles of homework she receives. Her

teachers and my husband seem to think a reduction in the amount of homework

would lead to poor test preparation and failing grades. Do any of you have

children with ADD that have made special requests on your IEP in addition to

receiving study guides and extra notes?

3. She's exhausted! The poor kid comes home and says how much she hates

school and how she " just can't take it any more. "

4. Despite numerous efforts to invite girls over and large birthday parties

we've hosted, she hasn't formed any friendships at school.

Shabana,

I can't talk about the ADD and medication because I don't have any direct

experience with it. But the overwhelmed by homework thing is very familiar. When

our son was in 4th and 5th grade your note about could have been written

about him.

Preteaching was a godsend for him. The teachers would give us (and later his

TOD) the vocabulary that was coming as well as a heads-up about what tests

and projects are coming so that he could start a bit early.

Reducing homework does NOT automatically mean poor test prep and failing

grades. It can mean adapting the homework to focus on mastery not volume. For

instance, 60 math problems would take our son 2 hours. He would have mastered

the task within the first 20 problems and the rest of the time was spent just

doing the work. For him that repetition was a waste of time, it tired him out

and caused him to feel less successful than he was. Plus, when all his

afternoons were taken up by homework, there was not time for friends and

playing.

Kids NEED to play, to interact with other kids.

So, we had an IEP meeting to explain to the teacher that Ian did not need to

be excused from doing homework, he needed the homework adapted to suit his

issues.

The same can be done for all subjects. Instead of 3 essay questions, Ian

would do 2. Instead of writing a fake newspaper article (5 paragraphs) for

Social Studies in one night, he was given the assignment 2 days earlier and he

could start working on it before the other kids. He needed that time to complete

the task as assigned. He was capable of the work, just not yet capable of

accomplishing it in the time allotted.

Over 2-3 years of working with his TOD on these issues, he is now able to

sit down and write an essay in one night. But 60 math problems will still take

him almost twice the time as the other kids. He's learned to live with that

and they don't adapt the curriculum for him anymore, but it was definitely

needed for a while. And if he had not learned to write more effectively, those

adaptations would still be in place because the need would still be there.

No kid should spend 4 hours a night doing homework unless they are taking

really advanced classes. And the frustration and depression that come with

working so hard and not getting anywhere can be overwhelming for anyone. How do

we adults feel when we work our tails off and our paycheck is gone to pay the

bills almost immediately with nothing left for fun? It's the same when it

comes to working at school all the time with no time left for being a kid, for

playing.

As for the friends ... if she does not feel good about herself, forming

friendships is hard. The way our son verbalized this was: Why would anyone want

to be my friend when I'm such a loser? It's hard to put yourself out there to

be a friend when self-esteem is dragging. Once our son started to feel better

about himself, friendships became easier. He's still a shy kid and has a

small circle of friends, but every other Saturday that little group of boys

goes

bowling or to the movies. It gets easier.

Best -- Jill

October 6, 2004

Hi, Jill,

Are these issues and accommodations related to Ian's hearing loss? I ask

because my daughter, who has a mild loss and is unaided, also takes FOREVER

to do homework and school work. She is constantly bringing home unfinished

papers from school, and spending time at home trying to finish those on top

of her homework. Everyone tells me she's bright, but she has been unable to

finish the timed math tests at school for the past year; just today she

finally finished one! She feels she's " the dumbest kid in the class " (her

words) because everyone else seems to be able to finish their class work in

class. I'm trying to find out if there's something else going on with her

that I need to address.

I know that for the past two years her teachers have been informally

modifying her classroom assignments for much the same reason you mention for

Ian: they feel she's understanding what they're teaching, but doesn't need

to do five things to prove it, so they scale back to two. She gets

overwhelmed if too much comes her way at once; she gets frustrated trying to

do her homework, particularly writing, and it's a real push to get things

done at night. She's truly not overly involved in outside activities, but I

hate for her whole life to be school and homework.

Ok, sorry to vent on for so long, but it was really interesting to see your

post. I've asked for my daughter to be evaluated, because I don't want the

teachers to continue with the informal accommodations until I know this is

the best route. At any rate, wasn't sure if this was tied to the hearing

loss or something else, so if you can shed light on this, I'd appreciate it!

Thanks,

Stefanie

mom to Ben, 6, severe to profound HOH, and Isabella, 9, mild loss, unaided

>

> Shabana,

>

> I can't talk about the ADD and medication because I don't have any direct

> experience with it. But the overwhelmed by homework thing is very familiar.

> When

> our son was in 4th and 5th grade your note about could have been written

> about him.

>

> Preteaching was a godsend for him. The teachers would give us (and later his

> TOD) the vocabulary that was coming as well as a heads-up about what tests

> and projects are coming so that he could start a bit early.

>

> Reducing homework does NOT automatically mean poor test prep and failing

> grades. It can mean adapting the homework to focus on mastery not volume. For

> instance, 60 math problems would take our son 2 hours. He would have mastered

> the task within the first 20 problems and the rest of the time was spent just

> doing the work. For him that repetition was a waste of time, it tired him out

> and caused him to feel less successful than he was. Plus, when all his

> afternoons were taken up by homework, there was not time for friends and

> playing.

> Kids NEED to play, to interact with other kids.

>

> So, we had an IEP meeting to explain to the teacher that Ian did not need to

> be excused from doing homework, he needed the homework adapted to suit his

> issues.

>

> The same can be done for all subjects. Instead of 3 essay questions, Ian

> would do 2. Instead of writing a fake newspaper article (5 paragraphs) for

> Social Studies in one night, he was given the assignment 2 days earlier and he

> could start working on it before the other kids. He needed that time to

> complete

> the task as assigned. He was capable of the work, just not yet capable of

> accomplishing it in the time allotted.

>

> Over 2-3 years of working with his TOD on these issues, he is now able to

> sit down and write an essay in one night. But 60 math problems will still take

> him almost twice the time as the other kids. He's learned to live with that

> and they don't adapt the curriculum for him anymore, but it was definitely

> needed for a while. And if he had not learned to write more effectively, those

> adaptations would still be in place because the need would still be there.

>

> No kid should spend 4 hours a night doing homework unless they are taking

> really advanced classes. And the frustration and depression that come with

> working so hard and not getting anywhere can be overwhelming for anyone. How

> do

> we adults feel when we work our tails off and our paycheck is gone to pay the

> bills almost immediately with nothing left for fun? It's the same when it

> comes to working at school all the time with no time left for being a kid,

> for

> playing.

>

> As for the friends ... if she does not feel good about herself, forming

> friendships is hard. The way our son verbalized this was: Why would anyone

> want

> to be my friend when I'm such a loser? It's hard to put yourself out there to

> be a friend when self-esteem is dragging. Once our son started to feel better

> about himself, friendships became easier. He's still a shy kid and has a

> small circle of friends, but every other Saturday that little group of boys

> goes

> bowling or to the movies. It gets easier.

>

> Best -- Jill

October 6, 2004