Re: please read

[Guest guest]

Hi /concerned mum with six year old

I've been thinking through these issues a lot lately and chatting

with my husband when he told me a very interesting story. When he

was about eighteen went to a surgeon for a problematic wisdom teeth

removal. Another surgeon there said to him, have you ever noticed

that your ears are not symmetrical and different shapes, we can fix

that problem for you. He said until he walked into that surgery that

day, he had never considered that he had a problem! Luckily he had

the strength of character to just ignore this surgeon's advice and

he walked out and never gave it another thought (until we started

talking about it). As I think I've probably said before, he was a TV

presenter in his native country (sorry- that sounds like boasting,

but I'm just trying to make the point that even in the most looks

obsessed arenas in life, you don't have to be perfect to succeed) so

it is hardly like it held him back. I'm so glad he didn't take any

notice (his ears are a bit different by the way, but I never noticed

til a year after our marriage and I did stare at him a lot in those

early days!)- I just wondered what the effect would have been on a

different, less confident person of being advised by a cosmetic

surgeon that they needed surgery at the age of eighteen...

Of course we all want the best for our children, and that includes

looking normal. But surely what we are all striving for is for them

to grow up happy and confident, and there is a danger by continuing

to focus overly on their looks, we will dent that confidence- and

cause the very psycho-social problems that we are all trying to

avoid. I've had to be quite stern with myself over this and you have

reminded me that I mustn't project my own insecurities about looks

(which were many and a right waste of time!) onto my daughter. I

still worry that the message I have sent to my daughter by putting

her in her helmet last year is exactly the one you, , talk

of- that you weren't good enough, though I hope that the message I

will send is that I would have accepted her whatever, I just wanted

her not to be disadvantaged by basically something I felt I had

caused.

I think I've written to say already that my daughter's ears are

still asymmetrical. She received 100% correction on the measurements

fo cranial vault asymmetry, but the skull base is still a bit off.

If you look down from the top, they are probably about 1/2cm off.

All I can say is no-one ever looks down from the top and no-one ever

gets out a tape measure and starts measuring them. She looks great,

wonderful, and normal- not perfect, just normal. No-one except a

parent looking out for this stuff would notice.

To the mum worried about her six year old, I know you've have a very

hard time lately and perhaps this has caused you to focus on this

issue more than you would normally. Perhaps talking to your husband

about why you still feel so upset about it when you have done

everything a good mum could do would be a way forward. Good luck

with it all.

Hannah (mum to Lucia, London, UK)

Cranio grad

> >

> > I emailed my 6 year old son's pictures to around 6 people on this

> > group. They all looked at the pictures and told me that if he did

> > have plagio that it was very very mild. They said that they

could

> tell

> > that one of his ears were a little off but it was not that

> noticeable.

> > So i started looking at him really well and his head does seem

to be

> > pretty accurate. Maybe just a little bit of a flat spot on the

left

> > side but i measured his ears to his eyes. His left ear seems to

be a

> > little less than a 1/4 of an inch closer to his eye than his

right

> > ear. My hubby, sister, and mom think i worry too much. My mom

says

> > everyones ear is off a little. But why do i keep noticing my

son's

> > ears. He had ear surgery for his protruding ears. I wonder if

there

> > is anything i can do for this. I don't want it to bother him

when he

> > gets older.I don't know why its off but i do know that when he

was

> > born, the left side of his head was flatter than the right side

and

> > his

> > left ear stuck out way more than the right ear and seemed a lot

> > closer. I guess his head has even out pretty well but his ears

did

> get

> > better but they never completely got symmetrical. My hubby

thanks i

> > obsess too much. Thanks for listening. I just want my son to be

> happy

> > with himself and not to be picked on. He got picked on about his

> > protruding ears so i got them fixed for him. I don't want him to

be

> > picked on about anything else on him. He is a very very cute

child.

> I

> > always ask my hubby how did we have such cute children.

>

>

>

>

>

> For more plagio info