Guest guest Posted January 6, 2003 Report Share Posted January 6, 2003 I'm real sorry. I know how you feel. My husband was horribly depressed. I mean life threatening. He came home one day and just broke down in tears. It was the worst day I can remember. I've never seen him cry. I started making phone calls from there and he went to our dr. Luckily for us they have a good relationship and he put my husbnad on Zoloft. He's looking for a job he likes and I think that will change alot but there isn't alot out there right now in his field. It's hard for me when things are going so well for us. Our daughter is going well, we're financial ok for the first time in years but he's still sad. I've become his secretary and we post on monster.com and flipdog for jobs. I also called a headhunter and we'll see how that works. Best of luck to you and your husband. Hugs wendy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2003 Report Share Posted January 6, 2003 I'm real sorry. I know how you feel. My husband was horribly depressed. I mean life threatening. He came home one day and just broke down in tears. It was the worst day I can remember. I've never seen him cry. I started making phone calls from there and he went to our dr. Luckily for us they have a good relationship and he put my husbnad on Zoloft. He's looking for a job he likes and I think that will change alot but there isn't alot out there right now in his field. It's hard for me when things are going so well for us. Our daughter is going well, we're financial ok for the first time in years but he's still sad. I've become his secretary and we post on monster.com and flipdog for jobs. I also called a headhunter and we'll see how that works. Best of luck to you and your husband. Hugs wendy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2003 Report Share Posted January 6, 2003 I'm real sorry. I know how you feel. My husband was horribly depressed. I mean life threatening. He came home one day and just broke down in tears. It was the worst day I can remember. I've never seen him cry. I started making phone calls from there and he went to our dr. Luckily for us they have a good relationship and he put my husbnad on Zoloft. He's looking for a job he likes and I think that will change alot but there isn't alot out there right now in his field. It's hard for me when things are going so well for us. Our daughter is going well, we're financial ok for the first time in years but he's still sad. I've become his secretary and we post on monster.com and flipdog for jobs. I also called a headhunter and we'll see how that works. Best of luck to you and your husband. Hugs wendy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2003 Report Share Posted January 6, 2003 Dh blames me because he can't accept the possibility that he somehow might have been at fault. He needs to place the blame to make himself feel better. I swear he's Asperger's (Jake's teacher and therapists agree with me) but he can't accept that either. Also, I don't think is going through a phase. There's been all this little clues that are adding up, but maybe I'm wrong. Janae , 10, ADD Jake, 7, autism Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2003 Report Share Posted January 6, 2003 Dh blames me because he can't accept the possibility that he somehow might have been at fault. He needs to place the blame to make himself feel better. I swear he's Asperger's (Jake's teacher and therapists agree with me) but he can't accept that either. Also, I don't think is going through a phase. There's been all this little clues that are adding up, but maybe I'm wrong. Janae , 10, ADD Jake, 7, autism Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2003 Report Share Posted January 6, 2003 Dh blames me because he can't accept the possibility that he somehow might have been at fault. He needs to place the blame to make himself feel better. I swear he's Asperger's (Jake's teacher and therapists agree with me) but he can't accept that either. Also, I don't think is going through a phase. There's been all this little clues that are adding up, but maybe I'm wrong. Janae , 10, ADD Jake, 7, autism Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2003 Report Share Posted January 6, 2003 Oh Janae! This is all so tough. It isnt fair! Why cant we catch a break?! Hang in there and lets hope is just going through a phase. Why does DH blame you? Jacquie H I hate life dh is horribly depressed because he's been out of work for so long, now his wacko mother is dying and he's not sure how to react Jake's IEP is next week was talking with the other autistic teacher and one of her aides who has an aspie son about . The aide had met and noticed something off, but ADD wasn't what came to mind. The problem if I persue this for is that there are no services for Asperger's here. Plus, dh will become even more depressed. One more thing for him to blame me for. Janae , 10, ADD Jake, 7, autism Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2003 Report Share Posted January 6, 2003 Oh Janae! This is all so tough. It isnt fair! Why cant we catch a break?! Hang in there and lets hope is just going through a phase. Why does DH blame you? Jacquie H I hate life dh is horribly depressed because he's been out of work for so long, now his wacko mother is dying and he's not sure how to react Jake's IEP is next week was talking with the other autistic teacher and one of her aides who has an aspie son about . The aide had met and noticed something off, but ADD wasn't what came to mind. The problem if I persue this for is that there are no services for Asperger's here. Plus, dh will become even more depressed. One more thing for him to blame me for. Janae , 10, ADD Jake, 7, autism Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2003 Report Share Posted January 6, 2003 Oh Janae! This is all so tough. It isnt fair! Why cant we catch a break?! Hang in there and lets hope is just going through a phase. Why does DH blame you? Jacquie H I hate life dh is horribly depressed because he's been out of work for so long, now his wacko mother is dying and he's not sure how to react Jake's IEP is next week was talking with the other autistic teacher and one of her aides who has an aspie son about . The aide had met and noticed something off, but ADD wasn't what came to mind. The problem if I persue this for is that there are no services for Asperger's here. Plus, dh will become even more depressed. One more thing for him to blame me for. Janae , 10, ADD Jake, 7, autism Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2003 Report Share Posted January 6, 2003 Janae, it comes down to whatever works. If you can get what your daughter needs with the ADD dx then use it. If you can't then consider pursuing additional testing. Sorry to hear your dh is having such a rough go of it. Would he consider going to the doc and taking meds? Yuck. Good luck at the IEP for Jake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2003 Report Share Posted January 6, 2003 Janae, it comes down to whatever works. If you can get what your daughter needs with the ADD dx then use it. If you can't then consider pursuing additional testing. Sorry to hear your dh is having such a rough go of it. Would he consider going to the doc and taking meds? Yuck. Good luck at the IEP for Jake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2003 Report Share Posted January 6, 2003 Janae, it comes down to whatever works. If you can get what your daughter needs with the ADD dx then use it. If you can't then consider pursuing additional testing. Sorry to hear your dh is having such a rough go of it. Would he consider going to the doc and taking meds? Yuck. Good luck at the IEP for Jake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2003 Report Share Posted January 6, 2003 {{{{{Janae}}}}} -Sara. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2003 Report Share Posted January 6, 2003 {{{{{Janae}}}}} -Sara. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2003 Report Share Posted January 6, 2003 {{{{{Janae}}}}} -Sara. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2003 Report Share Posted January 6, 2003 > > I've become his secretary and we post on monster.com and flipdog for jobs. I also called a headhunter and we'll see how that works. > What's the link for flipdog? My husband might need it soon. ( Tina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2003 Report Share Posted January 6, 2003 Janae, I'm with Jacquie. If they offer no services, then there's no sense in upsetting dh any further. Just wait and do what you can do. He sure doesn't need this right now. FWIW, President Bush is going to ask congress to extend unemployment benefits for the unemployed. Maybe some of his economic policies will help get the economy going and people can get back to work soon. I sure hope so. Things are getting tight all over. Hang in there, Sissi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2003 Report Share Posted January 6, 2003 Janae, I'm with Jacquie. If they offer no services, then there's no sense in upsetting dh any further. Just wait and do what you can do. He sure doesn't need this right now. FWIW, President Bush is going to ask congress to extend unemployment benefits for the unemployed. Maybe some of his economic policies will help get the economy going and people can get back to work soon. I sure hope so. Things are getting tight all over. Hang in there, Sissi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2003 Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 Oh God, Matt used to do that. He felt like he did not deserve for us to spend that money on him when we needed money for other things. I finally made the appt myself and told him when it was and that if he didn't show up we'd have to pay for it anyway so he might as well go. I didn't tell him about it until he didn't have time to cancel it 24 hours in advance. (This might infuriate someone else, I know, but it worked for us.) There was also a period when I got his meds and put them in his hand and watched him take them. He didn't deserve medication; he didn't deserve to feel better. I told him *I* deserved to have the man I loved back. He still gets like that sometimes but we have both learned a lot since then and we can usually stop the spiral before he gets too far down. Good luck hon, I'll be thinking of you all. -Sara. > , he is taking meds but I wish he'd go to the doctor to > get them adjusted. He claims we can't afford it. I tell him we > have insurance so there's just the $10 copay. He says we can't > afford it. I go play games on my computer and ignore life. Oh, > and 's getting diddley squat with ADD as a dx. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2003 Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 Oh God, Matt used to do that. He felt like he did not deserve for us to spend that money on him when we needed money for other things. I finally made the appt myself and told him when it was and that if he didn't show up we'd have to pay for it anyway so he might as well go. I didn't tell him about it until he didn't have time to cancel it 24 hours in advance. (This might infuriate someone else, I know, but it worked for us.) There was also a period when I got his meds and put them in his hand and watched him take them. He didn't deserve medication; he didn't deserve to feel better. I told him *I* deserved to have the man I loved back. He still gets like that sometimes but we have both learned a lot since then and we can usually stop the spiral before he gets too far down. Good luck hon, I'll be thinking of you all. -Sara. > , he is taking meds but I wish he'd go to the doctor to > get them adjusted. He claims we can't afford it. I tell him we > have insurance so there's just the $10 copay. He says we can't > afford it. I go play games on my computer and ignore life. Oh, > and 's getting diddley squat with ADD as a dx. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2003 Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 ((((((Janae)))))) Sorry about the crap going on. How your area treats Aspergers is the same way ours used to. They would have happily given as AS diagnosis years ago, without understanding that it IS austim. Now they have learned a lot more and the actual diagnosis is Autism, aspergers type. The testing shows the problems he's having and so he'll get the services he needs. If you decide to have tested, maybe you should look for High Functioning Autism since they are so similar, or Autism Spectrum Disorder (which would include AS), or make sure that they know that Aspergers IS a form of autism. I wish I had some suggestions for you about your dh blaming you for it or his depression from the first diagnosis. What a horrible catch 22! Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2003 Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 In a message dated 1/6/03 10:34:23 PM Eastern Standard Time, danaar1@... writes: > ? My husband might need it soon. ( > http://www.flipdog.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2003 Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 In a message dated 1/6/03 10:34:23 PM Eastern Standard Time, danaar1@... writes: > ? My husband might need it soon. ( > http://www.flipdog.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2003 Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 > dh is horribly depressed because he's been out of work for so long, It HAS been a long time, hasn't it? :-( That must be really hard on his self-worth. Ugh for both of you. > now his wacko mother is dying and he's not sure how to react > I'm sorry this is happening. > Jake's IEP is next week > Fun, fun. Are you anticipating problems with it? How come? > was talking with the other autistic teacher and one of her aides who has an aspie son about . The aide had met and noticed something off, but ADD wasn't what came to mind. The problem if I persue this for is that there are no services for Asperger's here. Plus, dh will become even more depressed. One more thing for him to blame me for. > If there's no services, janae, I'd say don't get her dx'd at least until your husband is back on his feet. Just do reading on Asperger's and see if there are ways you can do things differently from that perspective - you'll know soon enough if they work or not. I'm sorry life is so sucky for you right now. You've sure got a lot to deal with. Wonder why life can't space out the shit just a little? Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2003 Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 > dh is horribly depressed because he's been out of work for so long, It HAS been a long time, hasn't it? :-( That must be really hard on his self-worth. Ugh for both of you. > now his wacko mother is dying and he's not sure how to react > I'm sorry this is happening. > Jake's IEP is next week > Fun, fun. Are you anticipating problems with it? How come? > was talking with the other autistic teacher and one of her aides who has an aspie son about . The aide had met and noticed something off, but ADD wasn't what came to mind. The problem if I persue this for is that there are no services for Asperger's here. Plus, dh will become even more depressed. One more thing for him to blame me for. > If there's no services, janae, I'd say don't get her dx'd at least until your husband is back on his feet. Just do reading on Asperger's and see if there are ways you can do things differently from that perspective - you'll know soon enough if they work or not. I'm sorry life is so sucky for you right now. You've sure got a lot to deal with. Wonder why life can't space out the shit just a little? Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.