Guest guest Posted January 7, 2003 Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 One thing I think also may affect us on whether we want a " cure " or not is whether we ourselves are on the spectrum. ??? I know with me, my son seems to be high functioning, and I'm very grateful for all that he can do and that we seem to be avoiding some of the big pitfalls of autism. (for now maybe) but he is generally a great kid to be around, he doesn't tantrum, we can go to stores, he handles a lot of things just great. The thing that gets me is that his Dad and I are extremely social people. NT to the extreme maybe? LOL... It's kind of hard for us to have a child that we have to make say hello to people but still can't converse with them at all. My husband talks to everyone he meets, cashiers, sales people, strangers on the street and he has real conversations, not just polite talk like me. I on the other hand really enjoy a good party, I have a lot of friends and am pretty involved with lots of people - both family and friends. It's hard for me to see Jake not follow that considering it is in both of our personalities. In fact most of our whole family is pretty social. (except some in-laws) We may be a little guilty of being like Jacquie's description of the Von Hunnius family. But I hope we are kinder and more considerate to our quieter members ;-) I know I will work on that after hearing her feelings about it. Our family loves to play games and is competitive in a loving way. Will Jake ever be competitive or strategize? Will he like card games? We are huge card players in our family. I also really miss what I know we would be doing if he were NT. I miss what cute little two year old things he would have said. Will he still say those things as he learns to talk? See I don't know because I don't know if his intelligence will stay at age level even though his speech ability lags behind. I really miss that I can't explain things to him and reason with him. So that's the reason I would love a real cure. I do have a lot of hope for the future and I don't like to dwell on this because I don't want it to affect how I treat him or make our lives miserable. I also do enjoy the life we have anyway. He is the biggest joy my husband and I have ever had in our lives and I thank God for him every day. Another thing that probably also affects this is that I don't see any savant qualities in Jake. He doesn't appear to be hyperlexic even. This is fine of course. But if I did see things in him like some of y'all see, like with Boone or Byk, then I might feel very differently. I also don't know how I will feel a few years from now. Jake is the way he is and I love him no matter what. I have also noticed a few convenient things about Autism compared to raising an NT child. That hasn't escaped my notice. :-) ~ Karin I have to echo that the experience of parenting him has been amazing and I know I've grown in love, understanding and fellow-feeling for others. > Message: 16 Date: Tue, 7 Jan 2003 10:57:44 -0500 From: " > and " Subject: Re: Re: This got > me...I had to share! > > > This topic has raised a lot of response. I think that the major > difference in whether we would take a cure for our children or not > depends upon how affected that child is. My children are high > functioning. I an most assuredly an Aspie. So I don't necessarily > see it as a bad thing a challenging issue, yes but I look at it as > things could be worse. My kids could have a horrific disease. > But I haven't had to watch my children slip away. Mine were as > they are from the moment they were born. We noticed " little > differences " even then so I haven't actually lost anything, I just > never got somethings but in other ways I got bunuses and that is > good. If they were severe, I am certain that I would want that > cure if there was one I would likely see this as a horrific > disease. I haven't watched them be a vibrant bubbly child one > day and then watch that child vanish before my eyes. I am just in > a different situation than many here And I have to say I am glad of > it because I honestly don't know how you cope with having a child > who won't let you into their world (or I should say can't let you > in). I many times force my way into their world (my kids) but I > get in and that is a major difference beween my situation and those > of parents who have severely affected kids.> I do hope for a cure > too not for my children but for others affected because I know > there would be no greater gift to those parents than to have a > child who could respond as the parents hoped they would. That would > be a wonderful thing and I hope someday we will see that day when > lists like this won't be necessary (as awesome as it is) because > there is no more autism. CHRIS > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2003 Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 One thing I think also may affect us on whether we want a " cure " or not is whether we ourselves are on the spectrum. ??? I know with me, my son seems to be high functioning, and I'm very grateful for all that he can do and that we seem to be avoiding some of the big pitfalls of autism. (for now maybe) but he is generally a great kid to be around, he doesn't tantrum, we can go to stores, he handles a lot of things just great. The thing that gets me is that his Dad and I are extremely social people. NT to the extreme maybe? LOL... It's kind of hard for us to have a child that we have to make say hello to people but still can't converse with them at all. My husband talks to everyone he meets, cashiers, sales people, strangers on the street and he has real conversations, not just polite talk like me. I on the other hand really enjoy a good party, I have a lot of friends and am pretty involved with lots of people - both family and friends. It's hard for me to see Jake not follow that considering it is in both of our personalities. In fact most of our whole family is pretty social. (except some in-laws) We may be a little guilty of being like Jacquie's description of the Von Hunnius family. But I hope we are kinder and more considerate to our quieter members ;-) I know I will work on that after hearing her feelings about it. Our family loves to play games and is competitive in a loving way. Will Jake ever be competitive or strategize? Will he like card games? We are huge card players in our family. I also really miss what I know we would be doing if he were NT. I miss what cute little two year old things he would have said. Will he still say those things as he learns to talk? See I don't know because I don't know if his intelligence will stay at age level even though his speech ability lags behind. I really miss that I can't explain things to him and reason with him. So that's the reason I would love a real cure. I do have a lot of hope for the future and I don't like to dwell on this because I don't want it to affect how I treat him or make our lives miserable. I also do enjoy the life we have anyway. He is the biggest joy my husband and I have ever had in our lives and I thank God for him every day. Another thing that probably also affects this is that I don't see any savant qualities in Jake. He doesn't appear to be hyperlexic even. This is fine of course. But if I did see things in him like some of y'all see, like with Boone or Byk, then I might feel very differently. I also don't know how I will feel a few years from now. Jake is the way he is and I love him no matter what. I have also noticed a few convenient things about Autism compared to raising an NT child. That hasn't escaped my notice. :-) ~ Karin I have to echo that the experience of parenting him has been amazing and I know I've grown in love, understanding and fellow-feeling for others. > Message: 16 Date: Tue, 7 Jan 2003 10:57:44 -0500 From: " > and " Subject: Re: Re: This got > me...I had to share! > > > This topic has raised a lot of response. I think that the major > difference in whether we would take a cure for our children or not > depends upon how affected that child is. My children are high > functioning. I an most assuredly an Aspie. So I don't necessarily > see it as a bad thing a challenging issue, yes but I look at it as > things could be worse. My kids could have a horrific disease. > But I haven't had to watch my children slip away. Mine were as > they are from the moment they were born. We noticed " little > differences " even then so I haven't actually lost anything, I just > never got somethings but in other ways I got bunuses and that is > good. If they were severe, I am certain that I would want that > cure if there was one I would likely see this as a horrific > disease. I haven't watched them be a vibrant bubbly child one > day and then watch that child vanish before my eyes. I am just in > a different situation than many here And I have to say I am glad of > it because I honestly don't know how you cope with having a child > who won't let you into their world (or I should say can't let you > in). I many times force my way into their world (my kids) but I > get in and that is a major difference beween my situation and those > of parents who have severely affected kids.> I do hope for a cure > too not for my children but for others affected because I know > there would be no greater gift to those parents than to have a > child who could respond as the parents hoped they would. That would > be a wonderful thing and I hope someday we will see that day when > lists like this won't be necessary (as awesome as it is) because > there is no more autism. CHRIS > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2003 Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 One thing I think also may affect us on whether we want a " cure " or not is whether we ourselves are on the spectrum. ??? I know with me, my son seems to be high functioning, and I'm very grateful for all that he can do and that we seem to be avoiding some of the big pitfalls of autism. (for now maybe) but he is generally a great kid to be around, he doesn't tantrum, we can go to stores, he handles a lot of things just great. The thing that gets me is that his Dad and I are extremely social people. NT to the extreme maybe? LOL... It's kind of hard for us to have a child that we have to make say hello to people but still can't converse with them at all. My husband talks to everyone he meets, cashiers, sales people, strangers on the street and he has real conversations, not just polite talk like me. I on the other hand really enjoy a good party, I have a lot of friends and am pretty involved with lots of people - both family and friends. It's hard for me to see Jake not follow that considering it is in both of our personalities. In fact most of our whole family is pretty social. (except some in-laws) We may be a little guilty of being like Jacquie's description of the Von Hunnius family. But I hope we are kinder and more considerate to our quieter members ;-) I know I will work on that after hearing her feelings about it. Our family loves to play games and is competitive in a loving way. Will Jake ever be competitive or strategize? Will he like card games? We are huge card players in our family. I also really miss what I know we would be doing if he were NT. I miss what cute little two year old things he would have said. Will he still say those things as he learns to talk? See I don't know because I don't know if his intelligence will stay at age level even though his speech ability lags behind. I really miss that I can't explain things to him and reason with him. So that's the reason I would love a real cure. I do have a lot of hope for the future and I don't like to dwell on this because I don't want it to affect how I treat him or make our lives miserable. I also do enjoy the life we have anyway. He is the biggest joy my husband and I have ever had in our lives and I thank God for him every day. Another thing that probably also affects this is that I don't see any savant qualities in Jake. He doesn't appear to be hyperlexic even. This is fine of course. But if I did see things in him like some of y'all see, like with Boone or Byk, then I might feel very differently. I also don't know how I will feel a few years from now. Jake is the way he is and I love him no matter what. I have also noticed a few convenient things about Autism compared to raising an NT child. That hasn't escaped my notice. :-) ~ Karin I have to echo that the experience of parenting him has been amazing and I know I've grown in love, understanding and fellow-feeling for others. > Message: 16 Date: Tue, 7 Jan 2003 10:57:44 -0500 From: " > and " Subject: Re: Re: This got > me...I had to share! > > > This topic has raised a lot of response. I think that the major > difference in whether we would take a cure for our children or not > depends upon how affected that child is. My children are high > functioning. I an most assuredly an Aspie. So I don't necessarily > see it as a bad thing a challenging issue, yes but I look at it as > things could be worse. My kids could have a horrific disease. > But I haven't had to watch my children slip away. Mine were as > they are from the moment they were born. We noticed " little > differences " even then so I haven't actually lost anything, I just > never got somethings but in other ways I got bunuses and that is > good. If they were severe, I am certain that I would want that > cure if there was one I would likely see this as a horrific > disease. I haven't watched them be a vibrant bubbly child one > day and then watch that child vanish before my eyes. I am just in > a different situation than many here And I have to say I am glad of > it because I honestly don't know how you cope with having a child > who won't let you into their world (or I should say can't let you > in). I many times force my way into their world (my kids) but I > get in and that is a major difference beween my situation and those > of parents who have severely affected kids.> I do hope for a cure > too not for my children but for others affected because I know > there would be no greater gift to those parents than to have a > child who could respond as the parents hoped they would. That would > be a wonderful thing and I hope someday we will see that day when > lists like this won't be necessary (as awesome as it is) because > there is no more autism. CHRIS > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2003 Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 > One thing I think also may affect us on whether we want a " cure " or not > is whether we ourselves are on the spectrum. ??? > Well, but I am pretty darned NT myself (I am like your husband; I talk to everyone), but the funny thing is that I realize that I really really like people with autism which is why I stupidly married my AS husband. But I enjoy the ASD take on things and Enrique and Putter both are very amusing and enjoyable for me most of the time. Looking at some of my favorite people, I can see that they were probably somewhere on the spectrum too. Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2003 Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 > Another thing that probably also affects this is that I don't see any > savant qualities in Jake. He doesn't appear to be hyperlexic even. > This is fine of course. But if I did see things in him like some of > y'all see, like with Boone or Byk, then I might feel very > differently. Do remember that those qualities have their own drawbacks. Hyperlexia is a language disorder. They read and count because those things are easier for them to learn than speech. It's amazing, even awe-inspiring, and those skills can be used to good advantage -- writing something down, for example, so he can read it and understand it (I know one mom who writes down the house rules and posts them on the walls - tadum! the child remembers and follows them MUCH better) instead of trying to talk to him and explain something. But to be honest, I think his life would be easier without yet another barrier to speech and language acquisition. Intelligence is a difficult issue for a lot of us. 's tested IQ is 75 - borderline MR. How is that possible, when he has the academic skills of a 5 year old? A) His deficits in all the other areas are so great that they bring his overall score down to that level, and he is unable to understand or respond to the tester properly. > I have to echo that the experience of parenting him has been amazing and > I know I've grown in love, understanding and fellow-feeling for others. Amen. -Sara. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2003 Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 Well I dunno about that Karin. I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum ... aspergers syndrome explains a lot of things about my life. I'd take a cure for myself in an instant too ... if it meant that I'd finally " get " how to have relationships, that I wouldn't freak out before every social engagement I force myself to attend, that I wouldn't stress over little things that really are unimportant in the grand scheme of life, so forth and so on. I'd like to be able to shop at my local Kmart without getting dizzy from the high-pitched squeal the PA system makes ... which, no one else can hear. Ironically enough, parenting my very social NT twin is harder on me. It means I have to take her places where she has the opportunity to socialize. The library playtime was ... interesting. My daughter was in all her glory, all these children & toys to play with. Moms mingled and chatted. I sat alone, uncertain what I was supposed to do, sure I was supposed to do something, sure people thought I was being weird or snobby, but unwilling or unable to insert myself in these little groups of women. So I suppose, finding a cure for autism would, in the end, make parenting Jordan harder. But still, I'd take it in an instant. Debbie Re: Re: Re: This got me...I had to share! One thing I think also may affect us on whether we want a " cure " or not is whether we ourselves are on the spectrum. ??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2003 Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 Well I dunno about that Karin. I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum ... aspergers syndrome explains a lot of things about my life. I'd take a cure for myself in an instant too ... if it meant that I'd finally " get " how to have relationships, that I wouldn't freak out before every social engagement I force myself to attend, that I wouldn't stress over little things that really are unimportant in the grand scheme of life, so forth and so on. I'd like to be able to shop at my local Kmart without getting dizzy from the high-pitched squeal the PA system makes ... which, no one else can hear. Ironically enough, parenting my very social NT twin is harder on me. It means I have to take her places where she has the opportunity to socialize. The library playtime was ... interesting. My daughter was in all her glory, all these children & toys to play with. Moms mingled and chatted. I sat alone, uncertain what I was supposed to do, sure I was supposed to do something, sure people thought I was being weird or snobby, but unwilling or unable to insert myself in these little groups of women. So I suppose, finding a cure for autism would, in the end, make parenting Jordan harder. But still, I'd take it in an instant. Debbie Re: Re: Re: This got me...I had to share! One thing I think also may affect us on whether we want a " cure " or not is whether we ourselves are on the spectrum. ??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2003 Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 Well I dunno about that Karin. I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum ... aspergers syndrome explains a lot of things about my life. I'd take a cure for myself in an instant too ... if it meant that I'd finally " get " how to have relationships, that I wouldn't freak out before every social engagement I force myself to attend, that I wouldn't stress over little things that really are unimportant in the grand scheme of life, so forth and so on. I'd like to be able to shop at my local Kmart without getting dizzy from the high-pitched squeal the PA system makes ... which, no one else can hear. Ironically enough, parenting my very social NT twin is harder on me. It means I have to take her places where she has the opportunity to socialize. The library playtime was ... interesting. My daughter was in all her glory, all these children & toys to play with. Moms mingled and chatted. I sat alone, uncertain what I was supposed to do, sure I was supposed to do something, sure people thought I was being weird or snobby, but unwilling or unable to insert myself in these little groups of women. So I suppose, finding a cure for autism would, in the end, make parenting Jordan harder. But still, I'd take it in an instant. Debbie Re: Re: Re: This got me...I had to share! One thing I think also may affect us on whether we want a " cure " or not is whether we ourselves are on the spectrum. ??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2003 Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 >>Moms mingled and chatted. I sat alone, uncertain what I was supposed to do, sure I was supposed to do something, sure people thought I was being weird or snobby, but unwilling or unable to insert myself in these little groups of women.<< O!M!G! this describes me to a T! Never even thought about it. debbi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2003 Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 >>Moms mingled and chatted. I sat alone, uncertain what I was supposed to do, sure I was supposed to do something, sure people thought I was being weird or snobby, but unwilling or unable to insert myself in these little groups of women.<< O!M!G! this describes me to a T! Never even thought about it. debbi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2003 Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 karin - i can definitely relate to some of what you are saying. rowan doesn't seem to have any of these savant abilities or special gifts either. he is a beautiful and delightful child with global delays and classical autism. he is a relatively non verbal child who doesn't make eye contact who likes to flap his hands, spin in circles and avoid " our " world to the best of his ability.somedays that is a really fucking tough pill to swallow. somedays my heartbreaks to even look at him. but most days i thrill to his touch, his look, his laugh, his smile and nothing else matters. he has made so many gains since his diagnosis (four years ago next month) but it has been slow going. i mean desperately, trudgingly, painfully slow. despite these gains he is one hundred times more autistic today then on the day of his diagnosis. this is hard to come to terms with sometimes. would i take the cure? i'd certainly give it a long hard think. michelle mg Re: Re: This got > me...I had to share! > > > This topic has raised a lot of response. I think that the major > difference in whether we would take a cure for our children or not > depends upon how affected that child is. My children are high > functioning. I an most assuredly an Aspie. So I don't necessarily > see it as a bad thing a challenging issue, yes but I look at it as > things could be worse. My kids could have a horrific disease. > But I haven't had to watch my children slip away. Mine were as > they are from the moment they were born. We noticed " little > differences " even then so I haven't actually lost anything, I just > never got somethings but in other ways I got bunuses and that is > good. If they were severe, I am certain that I would want that > cure if there was one I would likely see this as a horrific > disease. I haven't watched them be a vibrant bubbly child one > day and then watch that child vanish before my eyes. I am just in > a different situation than many here And I have to say I am glad of > it because I honestly don't know how you cope with having a child > who won't let you into their world (or I should say can't let you > in). I many times force my way into their world (my kids) but I > get in and that is a major difference beween my situation and those > of parents who have severely affected kids.> I do hope for a cure > too not for my children but for others affected because I know > there would be no greater gift to those parents than to have a > child who could respond as the parents hoped they would. That would > be a wonderful thing and I hope someday we will see that day when > lists like this won't be necessary (as awesome as it is) because > there is no more autism. CHRIS > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2003 Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 karin - i can definitely relate to some of what you are saying. rowan doesn't seem to have any of these savant abilities or special gifts either. he is a beautiful and delightful child with global delays and classical autism. he is a relatively non verbal child who doesn't make eye contact who likes to flap his hands, spin in circles and avoid " our " world to the best of his ability.somedays that is a really fucking tough pill to swallow. somedays my heartbreaks to even look at him. but most days i thrill to his touch, his look, his laugh, his smile and nothing else matters. he has made so many gains since his diagnosis (four years ago next month) but it has been slow going. i mean desperately, trudgingly, painfully slow. despite these gains he is one hundred times more autistic today then on the day of his diagnosis. this is hard to come to terms with sometimes. would i take the cure? i'd certainly give it a long hard think. michelle mg Re: Re: This got > me...I had to share! > > > This topic has raised a lot of response. I think that the major > difference in whether we would take a cure for our children or not > depends upon how affected that child is. My children are high > functioning. I an most assuredly an Aspie. So I don't necessarily > see it as a bad thing a challenging issue, yes but I look at it as > things could be worse. My kids could have a horrific disease. > But I haven't had to watch my children slip away. Mine were as > they are from the moment they were born. We noticed " little > differences " even then so I haven't actually lost anything, I just > never got somethings but in other ways I got bunuses and that is > good. If they were severe, I am certain that I would want that > cure if there was one I would likely see this as a horrific > disease. I haven't watched them be a vibrant bubbly child one > day and then watch that child vanish before my eyes. I am just in > a different situation than many here And I have to say I am glad of > it because I honestly don't know how you cope with having a child > who won't let you into their world (or I should say can't let you > in). I many times force my way into their world (my kids) but I > get in and that is a major difference beween my situation and those > of parents who have severely affected kids.> I do hope for a cure > too not for my children but for others affected because I know > there would be no greater gift to those parents than to have a > child who could respond as the parents hoped they would. That would > be a wonderful thing and I hope someday we will see that day when > lists like this won't be necessary (as awesome as it is) because > there is no more autism. CHRIS > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2003 Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 karin - i can definitely relate to some of what you are saying. rowan doesn't seem to have any of these savant abilities or special gifts either. he is a beautiful and delightful child with global delays and classical autism. he is a relatively non verbal child who doesn't make eye contact who likes to flap his hands, spin in circles and avoid " our " world to the best of his ability.somedays that is a really fucking tough pill to swallow. somedays my heartbreaks to even look at him. but most days i thrill to his touch, his look, his laugh, his smile and nothing else matters. he has made so many gains since his diagnosis (four years ago next month) but it has been slow going. i mean desperately, trudgingly, painfully slow. despite these gains he is one hundred times more autistic today then on the day of his diagnosis. this is hard to come to terms with sometimes. would i take the cure? i'd certainly give it a long hard think. michelle mg Re: Re: This got > me...I had to share! > > > This topic has raised a lot of response. I think that the major > difference in whether we would take a cure for our children or not > depends upon how affected that child is. My children are high > functioning. I an most assuredly an Aspie. So I don't necessarily > see it as a bad thing a challenging issue, yes but I look at it as > things could be worse. My kids could have a horrific disease. > But I haven't had to watch my children slip away. Mine were as > they are from the moment they were born. We noticed " little > differences " even then so I haven't actually lost anything, I just > never got somethings but in other ways I got bunuses and that is > good. If they were severe, I am certain that I would want that > cure if there was one I would likely see this as a horrific > disease. I haven't watched them be a vibrant bubbly child one > day and then watch that child vanish before my eyes. I am just in > a different situation than many here And I have to say I am glad of > it because I honestly don't know how you cope with having a child > who won't let you into their world (or I should say can't let you > in). I many times force my way into their world (my kids) but I > get in and that is a major difference beween my situation and those > of parents who have severely affected kids.> I do hope for a cure > too not for my children but for others affected because I know > there would be no greater gift to those parents than to have a > child who could respond as the parents hoped they would. That would > be a wonderful thing and I hope someday we will see that day when > lists like this won't be necessary (as awesome as it is) because > there is no more autism. CHRIS > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2003 Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 me too! me too! all except being stupid for marrying Jeff. lol he seems to be a pretty decent guy. although very aspie and that can be trying to live with at times. lol jacquie h Re: Re: Re: This got me...I had to share! > One thing I think also may affect us on whether we want a " cure " or not > is whether we ourselves are on the spectrum. ??? > Well, but I am pretty darned NT myself (I am like your husband; I talk to everyone), but the funny thing is that I realize that I really really like people with autism which is why I stupidly married my AS husband. But I enjoy the ASD take on things and Enrique and Putter both are very amusing and enjoyable for me most of the time. Looking at some of my favorite people, I can see that they were probably somewhere on the spectrum too. Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2003 Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 me too! me too! all except being stupid for marrying Jeff. lol he seems to be a pretty decent guy. although very aspie and that can be trying to live with at times. lol jacquie h Re: Re: Re: This got me...I had to share! > One thing I think also may affect us on whether we want a " cure " or not > is whether we ourselves are on the spectrum. ??? > Well, but I am pretty darned NT myself (I am like your husband; I talk to everyone), but the funny thing is that I realize that I really really like people with autism which is why I stupidly married my AS husband. But I enjoy the ASD take on things and Enrique and Putter both are very amusing and enjoyable for me most of the time. Looking at some of my favorite people, I can see that they were probably somewhere on the spectrum too. Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2003 Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 > Another thing that probably also affects this is that I don't see any > savant qualities in Jake. He doesn't appear to be hyperlexic even. > This is fine of course. But if I did see things in him like some of > y'all see, like with Boone or Byk, then I might feel very > differently. Karin, Boone's skills are kind of neat and quite a conversation piece, especially if someone is staring at him because he's acting like the spawn of Satan. I like to shock busy bodies by asking Boone things kids his age shouldn't know. That's not going to have the same effect when he's older. I'm sure it will just look strange. Boone is not considered high-functioning. His IQ is supposedly 70 (I doubt that) and his diagnosis is severe autism. There's a difference between severe and low-functioning. I've seen a lot of kids who are higher functioning and they seem to be a lot happier than Boone. I've seen a few, but not many, who are lower-functioning and I'd say they were happier than Boone too. The problem with savant skills is that they are so completely obsessed with (or should I say possessed by) whatever it is they're interested in. He's happy when he's doing his thing. He's generally unhappy outside of our home unless it has something to do with food. He loves Wal-Mart (now) because they have 100 clocks and 100 watches and they're all set to 10:10. God help me if I need to shop for anything other than clocks or vegetables. Boone must weigh vegetables. Boone doesn't cry. Boone screams like a banshee and hits things, hits himself or hits me. He usually screams " No! " " Help! " or numbers. Talk about getting weird looks? You haven't lived until a room full of people are staring at you while you're trying to stop your screaming kid who's trying to climb a three story indoor waterfall and screaming " 9:48! " or whatever time it happens to be, at the top of his lungs. Lucky me. My son has advanced motor skills and the social skills of a 2YO. Boone hurts himself and he attacks me when he's frustrated. I've been badly burned (accidentally), kicked, slapped, punched and jumped on while asleep by Boone who was coming from a very high place. Boone has destroyed 3 VCRs, 1 DVD player, his bunk beds, my old bed, a television set (he pulled a chest of drawers over on top of himself and the TV came crashing to the floor just inches from crushing his head) and a lot of other things too numerous to mention. Once I caught him jumping from the deck railing (about 10 feet from the ground) onto a tiny trampoline in the back yard. He learned that from his brother who can move the big trampoline with the help of a few friends. It's a wonder he's still alive. Hell, it's a wonder I'm still alive. My BIL and I got into an argument because he thinks Boone is too smart to be autistic. Never mind the fact that Boone was sitting on the kitchen floor spinning a spatula at the speed of light while this argument was going on (that and he couldn't say a dozen words at the time). Most people think autism=MR. I guess what I'm saying is, these skills don't make it any easier and they don't make autism any more desirable. If anything it makes it more puzzling. I always wonder what could he have become if only ... Damn, I didn't mean for it to sound like this. I love Boone and everything about him. Autism and all. Sometimes I wouldn't change anything about him and sometimes I just wish ... well, you know. Sissi .. rambling on again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2003 Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 > Another thing that probably also affects this is that I don't see any > savant qualities in Jake. He doesn't appear to be hyperlexic even. > This is fine of course. But if I did see things in him like some of > y'all see, like with Boone or Byk, then I might feel very > differently. Karin, Boone's skills are kind of neat and quite a conversation piece, especially if someone is staring at him because he's acting like the spawn of Satan. I like to shock busy bodies by asking Boone things kids his age shouldn't know. That's not going to have the same effect when he's older. I'm sure it will just look strange. Boone is not considered high-functioning. His IQ is supposedly 70 (I doubt that) and his diagnosis is severe autism. There's a difference between severe and low-functioning. I've seen a lot of kids who are higher functioning and they seem to be a lot happier than Boone. I've seen a few, but not many, who are lower-functioning and I'd say they were happier than Boone too. The problem with savant skills is that they are so completely obsessed with (or should I say possessed by) whatever it is they're interested in. He's happy when he's doing his thing. He's generally unhappy outside of our home unless it has something to do with food. He loves Wal-Mart (now) because they have 100 clocks and 100 watches and they're all set to 10:10. God help me if I need to shop for anything other than clocks or vegetables. Boone must weigh vegetables. Boone doesn't cry. Boone screams like a banshee and hits things, hits himself or hits me. He usually screams " No! " " Help! " or numbers. Talk about getting weird looks? You haven't lived until a room full of people are staring at you while you're trying to stop your screaming kid who's trying to climb a three story indoor waterfall and screaming " 9:48! " or whatever time it happens to be, at the top of his lungs. Lucky me. My son has advanced motor skills and the social skills of a 2YO. Boone hurts himself and he attacks me when he's frustrated. I've been badly burned (accidentally), kicked, slapped, punched and jumped on while asleep by Boone who was coming from a very high place. Boone has destroyed 3 VCRs, 1 DVD player, his bunk beds, my old bed, a television set (he pulled a chest of drawers over on top of himself and the TV came crashing to the floor just inches from crushing his head) and a lot of other things too numerous to mention. Once I caught him jumping from the deck railing (about 10 feet from the ground) onto a tiny trampoline in the back yard. He learned that from his brother who can move the big trampoline with the help of a few friends. It's a wonder he's still alive. Hell, it's a wonder I'm still alive. My BIL and I got into an argument because he thinks Boone is too smart to be autistic. Never mind the fact that Boone was sitting on the kitchen floor spinning a spatula at the speed of light while this argument was going on (that and he couldn't say a dozen words at the time). Most people think autism=MR. I guess what I'm saying is, these skills don't make it any easier and they don't make autism any more desirable. If anything it makes it more puzzling. I always wonder what could he have become if only ... Damn, I didn't mean for it to sound like this. I love Boone and everything about him. Autism and all. Sometimes I wouldn't change anything about him and sometimes I just wish ... well, you know. Sissi .. rambling on again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2003 Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 > Do remember that those qualities have their own drawbacks. Hyperlexia is a > language disorder. They read and count because those things are easier for > them to learn than speech. Yep! > It's amazing, even awe-inspiring, and those skills can be used to good > advantage -- writing something down, for example, so he can read it and > understand it (I know one mom who writes down the house rules and posts them > on the walls - tadum! the child remembers and follows them MUCH better) > instead of trying to talk to him and explain something. Exactly! > But to be honest, I think his life would be easier without yet another > barrier to speech and language acquisition. I hadn't thought of it that way. I should have just ditto-ed this post and kept my mouth shut. Sissi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2003 Report Share Posted January 8, 2003 > > Do remember that those qualities have their own drawbacks. > Hyperlexia is > Yep! > > I should have just ditto-ed this post and kept my mouth shut. Funny, I was thinking the same thing about yours, and feeling releived that we were at least trying to say the same things. -Sara. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2003 Report Share Posted January 8, 2003 > > Do remember that those qualities have their own drawbacks. > Hyperlexia is > Yep! > > I should have just ditto-ed this post and kept my mouth shut. Funny, I was thinking the same thing about yours, and feeling releived that we were at least trying to say the same things. -Sara. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2003 Report Share Posted January 8, 2003 > > Do remember that those qualities have their own drawbacks. > Hyperlexia is > Yep! > > I should have just ditto-ed this post and kept my mouth shut. Funny, I was thinking the same thing about yours, and feeling releived that we were at least trying to say the same things. -Sara. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2003 Report Share Posted January 8, 2003 > One thing I think also may affect us on whether we want a " cure " or not > is whether we ourselves are on the spectrum. ??? > Good point, Karin! I remember the day I decided I wouldn't take a cure for MYSELF if it was offered...that I wasn't even willing to put out the effort to TRY to fit in anymore. So part of my feelings about it for may come from the fact that, given the choice, I would not change myself for fear of changing those things about me that I and those who love me value so highly. Also, as you pointed out, I, unlike you, really don't know what he's missing out on in terms of the NT world. I mean, it's hard to wish a busy social life for him (for example) when the idea of one looks like hell to me! LOL Jacquie -who is quite sure you are MUCH kinder to your quieter family members than the vonHunnius clan is. ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2003 Report Share Posted January 8, 2003 > One thing I think also may affect us on whether we want a " cure " or not > is whether we ourselves are on the spectrum. ??? > Good point, Karin! I remember the day I decided I wouldn't take a cure for MYSELF if it was offered...that I wasn't even willing to put out the effort to TRY to fit in anymore. So part of my feelings about it for may come from the fact that, given the choice, I would not change myself for fear of changing those things about me that I and those who love me value so highly. Also, as you pointed out, I, unlike you, really don't know what he's missing out on in terms of the NT world. I mean, it's hard to wish a busy social life for him (for example) when the idea of one looks like hell to me! LOL Jacquie -who is quite sure you are MUCH kinder to your quieter family members than the vonHunnius clan is. ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2003 Report Share Posted January 8, 2003 > One thing I think also may affect us on whether we want a " cure " or not > is whether we ourselves are on the spectrum. ??? > Good point, Karin! I remember the day I decided I wouldn't take a cure for MYSELF if it was offered...that I wasn't even willing to put out the effort to TRY to fit in anymore. So part of my feelings about it for may come from the fact that, given the choice, I would not change myself for fear of changing those things about me that I and those who love me value so highly. Also, as you pointed out, I, unlike you, really don't know what he's missing out on in terms of the NT world. I mean, it's hard to wish a busy social life for him (for example) when the idea of one looks like hell to me! LOL Jacquie -who is quite sure you are MUCH kinder to your quieter family members than the vonHunnius clan is. ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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