Re: I can't go back there

January 7, 2003

Why didn't one of those big strapping von Hunnius men kick his ass?

Unbelievable.

I would have dumped his plate in his lap.

I know I really wouldn't have, but maybe.... God this burns me up.

I do not blame you at all for never going back Jacquie.

~ Karin

>

> When we left, the guy at the table behind us APPLAUDED. HE CLAPPED

HIS HANDS AND SAID, " THANK GOD " . I yelled, " he's AUTISTIC. " The b

January 7, 2003

Why didn't one of those big strapping von Hunnius men kick his ass?

Unbelievable.

I would have dumped his plate in his lap.

I know I really wouldn't have, but maybe.... God this burns me up.

I do not blame you at all for never going back Jacquie.

~ Karin

>

> When we left, the guy at the table behind us APPLAUDED. HE CLAPPED

HIS HANDS AND SAID, " THANK GOD " . I yelled, " he's AUTISTIC. " The b

January 7, 2003

ok, i have a hard question here and i hope it comes across as i mean it...

while i applaud marc for knowing you can't go and also being ok with it, i'm

assuming he was one of the ones there the last time who did nothing? now, i

realize eric is better at these kind of things than he was then, but what

happens if he has an autie moment and ends up under the table again? is marc

going to be able to handle it in front of his family?

" Something important to remember...we'll always be who we are. " - Mr.

January 7, 2003

ok, i have a hard question here and i hope it comes across as i mean it...

while i applaud marc for knowing you can't go and also being ok with it, i'm

assuming he was one of the ones there the last time who did nothing? now, i

realize eric is better at these kind of things than he was then, but what

happens if he has an autie moment and ends up under the table again? is marc

going to be able to handle it in front of his family?

" Something important to remember...we'll always be who we are. " - Mr.

January 7, 2003

OH OH OH, The things I'd say to a person like that. I'm beet red

right now just THINKING it. I wish I could come back with something

really witty in a situation like that, but knowing me I'd blow my

stack. I'm sorry you had that happen to you. May the clod have a

stroke and be unable to speak!

GRRRRR

> What a SOB!!!!! I hope his Karma has come back on him!

> CHRIS

> " I can't go back there "

>

> Tonight while we were cleaning up after dinner, Marc said to

me, " Uncle Ernie and Aunt Ruth have planned a get-together for the

end of the month. It's at The Mandarin in Burlington. "

>

> Before I even knew why, I said, " I can't go back there. "

>

> " I know, " said my husband, " I already told them it would be just

me and . "

>

> At that restaurant 3 years ago, I had the most traumatic outing

with my autistic child EVER. Not because of his behaviour, which was

no different than any other hideous outing at that age, but because

of the table of three sitting behind us. There was a man at that

table about 35 or so, with an older couple. EVERYTHING did,

this guy had a comment to make about it. None of the vonHunniuses

said anything; apparently I was the only one it bothered.

>

> We made it through about an hour before completely lost it

and went to sit under the table and buzz. None of the other 16

people gave a shit, so it was me - again - who crawled under and got

him. And then I carried him out of the dining room while he kicked

and screamed.

>

> When we left, the guy at the table behind us APPLAUDED. HE

CLAPPED HIS HANDS AND SAID, " THANK GOD " . I yelled, " he's

AUTISTIC. " The bastard replied, " So? "

>

> In the foyer of the restaurant, there was a koi pond. I took

there. The manager yelled at him for stepping past

the " acceptable " line.

>

> I took outside, and sat on a garden rock and cried while I

let him pull all the flowers out by the roots.

>

> Ah. Lovely memories.

>

> Jacquie

> -whose MIL came out to comfort her with sage wisdom: " You can't

let that spoil your dinner. Come back in and ignore him. "

>

January 7, 2003

OH OH OH, The things I'd say to a person like that. I'm beet red

right now just THINKING it. I wish I could come back with something

really witty in a situation like that, but knowing me I'd blow my

stack. I'm sorry you had that happen to you. May the clod have a

stroke and be unable to speak!

GRRRRR

> What a SOB!!!!! I hope his Karma has come back on him!

> CHRIS

> " I can't go back there "

>

> Tonight while we were cleaning up after dinner, Marc said to

me, " Uncle Ernie and Aunt Ruth have planned a get-together for the

end of the month. It's at The Mandarin in Burlington. "

>

> Before I even knew why, I said, " I can't go back there. "

>

> " I know, " said my husband, " I already told them it would be just

me and . "

>

> At that restaurant 3 years ago, I had the most traumatic outing

with my autistic child EVER. Not because of his behaviour, which was

no different than any other hideous outing at that age, but because

of the table of three sitting behind us. There was a man at that

table about 35 or so, with an older couple. EVERYTHING did,

this guy had a comment to make about it. None of the vonHunniuses

said anything; apparently I was the only one it bothered.

>

> We made it through about an hour before completely lost it

and went to sit under the table and buzz. None of the other 16

people gave a shit, so it was me - again - who crawled under and got

him. And then I carried him out of the dining room while he kicked

and screamed.

>

> When we left, the guy at the table behind us APPLAUDED. HE

CLAPPED HIS HANDS AND SAID, " THANK GOD " . I yelled, " he's

AUTISTIC. " The bastard replied, " So? "

>

> In the foyer of the restaurant, there was a koi pond. I took

there. The manager yelled at him for stepping past

the " acceptable " line.

>

> I took outside, and sat on a garden rock and cried while I

let him pull all the flowers out by the roots.

>

> Ah. Lovely memories.

>

> Jacquie

> -whose MIL came out to comfort her with sage wisdom: " You can't

let that spoil your dinner. Come back in and ignore him. "

>

January 7, 2003

Some people are and shall always remain clueless insensitive morons.

I am so glad that Marc knew you could not consider repeating that

experience. He's a very good guy that husband of yours.

January 7, 2003

> At that restaurant 3 years ago, I had the most traumatic outing

with my autistic child EVER. Not because of his behaviour, which was

no different than any other hideous outing at that age, but because

of the table of three sitting behind us.

>

Oh Jacquie, that's awful!! Some people don't have the brains to

breathe.

> When we left, the guy at the table behind us APPLAUDED. HE CLAPPED

HIS HANDS AND SAID, " THANK GOD " . I yelled, " he's AUTISTIC. " The

bastard replied, " So? "

>

I would have said, " AT LEAST HE HAS AN EXCUSE! "

What an asshole.

> In the foyer of the restaurant, there was a koi pond. I took

there. The manager yelled at him for stepping past the " acceptable "

line.

>

Ugh! This sounds like the stupid twerp who insisted on trying to

lecture about stealing when she was 6. She kept trying to take

a piece of candy when I'd told her no. The cashier kept telling her

how stealing was bad and she would go to jail if she did it. I told

him repeatedly that she didn't understand. He said in a VERY

indignant tone, " The last kid I told that to, his mother thanked me

because he wouldn't listen to her. "

I told him I was SO (heavy sarcasm) glad the other child understood

what he was saying but was mentally handicapped and had NO

clue. That he could talk until he was blue in the face and she still

wouldn't understand. Asshole still didn't get it. He huffed and

snorted the rest of the time he rang up our groceries.

Tina

January 7, 2003

> At that restaurant 3 years ago, I had the most traumatic outing

with my autistic child EVER. Not because of his behaviour, which was

no different than any other hideous outing at that age, but because

of the table of three sitting behind us.

>

Oh Jacquie, that's awful!! Some people don't have the brains to

breathe.

> When we left, the guy at the table behind us APPLAUDED. HE CLAPPED

HIS HANDS AND SAID, " THANK GOD " . I yelled, " he's AUTISTIC. " The

bastard replied, " So? "

>

I would have said, " AT LEAST HE HAS AN EXCUSE! "

What an asshole.

> In the foyer of the restaurant, there was a koi pond. I took

there. The manager yelled at him for stepping past the " acceptable "

line.

>

Ugh! This sounds like the stupid twerp who insisted on trying to

lecture about stealing when she was 6. She kept trying to take

a piece of candy when I'd told her no. The cashier kept telling her

how stealing was bad and she would go to jail if she did it. I told

him repeatedly that she didn't understand. He said in a VERY

indignant tone, " The last kid I told that to, his mother thanked me

because he wouldn't listen to her. "

I told him I was SO (heavy sarcasm) glad the other child understood

what he was saying but was mentally handicapped and had NO

clue. That he could talk until he was blue in the face and she still

wouldn't understand. Asshole still didn't get it. He huffed and

snorted the rest of the time he rang up our groceries.

Tina

January 7, 2003

> At that restaurant 3 years ago, I had the most traumatic outing

with my autistic child EVER. Not because of his behaviour, which was

no different than any other hideous outing at that age, but because

of the table of three sitting behind us.

>

Oh Jacquie, that's awful!! Some people don't have the brains to

breathe.

> When we left, the guy at the table behind us APPLAUDED. HE CLAPPED

HIS HANDS AND SAID, " THANK GOD " . I yelled, " he's AUTISTIC. " The

bastard replied, " So? "

>

I would have said, " AT LEAST HE HAS AN EXCUSE! "

What an asshole.

> In the foyer of the restaurant, there was a koi pond. I took

there. The manager yelled at him for stepping past the " acceptable "

line.

>

Ugh! This sounds like the stupid twerp who insisted on trying to

lecture about stealing when she was 6. She kept trying to take

a piece of candy when I'd told her no. The cashier kept telling her

how stealing was bad and she would go to jail if she did it. I told

him repeatedly that she didn't understand. He said in a VERY

indignant tone, " The last kid I told that to, his mother thanked me

because he wouldn't listen to her. "

I told him I was SO (heavy sarcasm) glad the other child understood

what he was saying but was mentally handicapped and had NO

clue. That he could talk until he was blue in the face and she still

wouldn't understand. Asshole still didn't get it. He huffed and

snorted the rest of the time he rang up our groceries.

Tina

January 7, 2003

I remember you telling us about that before! It still infuriates me from

start to finish.

Why would they WANT to go back there?

Sissi

January 7, 2003

I remember you telling us about that before! It still infuriates me from

start to finish.

Why would they WANT to go back there?

Sissi

January 7, 2003

I remember you telling us about that before! It still infuriates me from

start to finish.

Why would they WANT to go back there?

Sissi

January 8, 2003

It does sound that way. Jeff is most diffenately aspie or at least borderline. I

am very NT. I had been hurt very badly in the past by men who were overly

affectionate and doting. When I met Jeff he was so sincere and you always knew

where you stood with him. He said what was on his mind and he was genuine. I was

instantly in love! I still am.

Jacquie H

Re: " I can't go back there "

> Have I ever told you guys what we used to say when people asked us how we

> knew we were right for each other? I think this is probably a very aspie

> take on love and marriage: " Of all the people in the world we've ever

met,

> we hate each other the least. "

Replying to myself:

This got me thinking about Marc and I. Feel free to ignore this, I'm just

writing it out because it twigged for me.

Years before we married, we broke up for a year. During that year, I dated

about a million people, but always ended up standing on the dock to meet

Marc's boat. I dated sensitive guys, and artistic guys, musicians, poets,

writers, photographers. All VERY different from Marc. In the end, I knew

that HE was the one I wanted.

My best friend asked me why. Now this was YEARS before I knew what autism

was; years before I suspected either Marc or I could be aspies. I told her

that it was Marc, no one else, because " he doesn't try to get in my head.

He doesn't invade my private space. He doesn't want to know what I'm

thinking all the time. He's not invasive; he doesn't want to know

everything about me and own my thoughts. He just wants to share my time and

my space. "

Looking back, I'm thinking...doesn't that sound like an aspie finding true

love with an aspie???

Jacquie

January 8, 2003

> Jeff he was so sincere and you always knew where you stood with

> him. He said what was on his mind and he was genuine. I was

> instantly in love! I still am.

That's a lot of why I fell in love with Matt. We met on the computer and

talked in chat rooms and on the phone for almost a year before meeting face

to face. And when we finally did meet we each met exactly the person we'd

been talking to for the last year. There were no games; this is who I am,

take it or leave it. And that was SO reassuring to me. I never had to

wonder. Neither did he -- none of those silly womanspeak " yes means no,

nothing means something " etc etc.

We both have problems with theory of mind. It's hard for each of us to

remember that just because *I* know something does not mean that *you* know

that same thing. We had a lot of arguments over this for some time, until

we both learned to use the phrase, " You're not reading my mind. " That

means, " I have this plan in my head that I thought you knew about, but

apparently you don't, and I need to assume that's because I never told you. "

Another one is, " Did I say that, or just think about it really loud? " (Did

I already tell you what I'm thinking, or did I just think about it?)

Blah, blah, blah. I could keep going.

But yes, Jacquie V, you're both Aspies.

Twigged?

-Sara.

> Looking back, I'm thinking...doesn't that sound like an aspie

> finding true

> love with an aspie???

January 8, 2003