Re: accessibility/inclusion question about soccer

[Guest guest]

--- You wrote:

So my question is: what is the responsibility of a town soccer

league with regards to inclusion of children with disabilities? The

coaches are parent-volunteers, and most don't have the training to

work with children with behavioral issues. I am sure some would be

more willing to work with a parent and listen/learn how to include

everyone than our coach seems to be, but was she breaking the law in

making the boy sit out? What are the child's rights with regards to

inclusion in something like this? (And what do I do if she

arbitrarily decides that can't play either because of his

implant?)

--- end of quote ---

Hi Lydia - may I send your note to my husband Hugh so he can respond to the

list? As you know, both our boys are deaf and Hugh is coaching Sam's soccer

team t his year. I think he might be able to give you a good response.

Let me know!

Thanks

Barbara

*******************************

Barbara Mellert

Manager, Social Science Computing

Kiewit Computing Services

Dartmouth College

13A Silsby Hall; HB 6121

Hanover NH 03755

Telephone: 603/646-2877

URL: http://www.dartmouth.edu/~ssc

[Guest guest]

--- You wrote:

So my question is: what is the responsibility of a town soccer

league with regards to inclusion of children with disabilities? The

coaches are parent-volunteers, and most don't have the training to

work with children with behavioral issues. I am sure some would be

more willing to work with a parent and listen/learn how to include

everyone than our coach seems to be, but was she breaking the law in

making the boy sit out? What are the child's rights with regards to

inclusion in something like this? (And what do I do if she

arbitrarily decides that can't play either because of his

implant?)

--- end of quote ---

Hi Lydia - may I send your note to my husband Hugh so he can respond to the

list? As you know, both our boys are deaf and Hugh is coaching Sam's soccer

team t his year. I think he might be able to give you a good response.

Let me know!

Thanks

Barbara

*******************************

Barbara Mellert

Manager, Social Science Computing

Kiewit Computing Services

Dartmouth College

13A Silsby Hall; HB 6121

Hanover NH 03755

Telephone: 603/646-2877

URL: http://www.dartmouth.edu/~ssc

[Guest guest]

I too would love to know the answer to this question. I have a similar

problem. Like I had shared before my daughter is in cheerleading is still having

a

difficult time. After several attempts with the coaches about her hearing

impairment. They are still putting her in the back row. She is pop-warner

division.

I so want her too quit because I see her trying so hard and it's tearing

my heart out. Too many times I had to leave the practice because I want to

hurt someone back (like the coaches and asst. coaches). But my daughter does not

want to quit -- she takes challenges head on. She can't do the moves as great

as the other girls but she is strong in gymnastics. Just when I could not take

it anymore -- she went and showed them by doing a back-handspring she had

been working on in gymnastic. As to show them -- she can do other things they

can't.

My question is do they legally have to accommodate her disability or is

this something she has to deal with because it's the coaches decision. My

husband says -- she will come to her own as she gets older. As we have seen with

my

son who is 14 and has ADHD. But it infuriates me to see ignorant people who

don't take the time of day to give her a solid chance by putting her where she

can see and hear everything....

Thanks for letting me vent.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/22/2004 9:14:45 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

lidagreg@... writes:

I am sure some would be

more willing to work with a parent and listen/learn how to include

everyone than our coach seems to be, but was she breaking the law in

making the boy sit out? What are the child's rights with regards to

inclusion in something like this? (And what do I do if she

arbitrarily decides that can't play either because of his

implant?)

Lydia,

I don't know the details of the law on this, but being married to a coah

gives me some insight. Common sense seems to be that the out-of-control child

needs to be benched and the mother spoken to about his behavior. Obviously the

coach did not single out the boy -- he chipped another child's tooth with a

reckless action. He is a 1st grader and that is old enough to follow the basic

soccer rules. Smashing into other players is NOT part of soccer, it is part

of American football.

Kicking the ball with enough force to chip a child's tooth is also not an

minor thing. That ball was not just played with, it was kicked very hard. That

girl's parents would be within their rights to request that the boy be

removed from the team because, given the full range of your description, he is

a

danger to the other children.

Children do not have all the rights of adults, that's simply a reality and

most people forget that. As far as I know there is no " right " to play in the

games, especially if the child refuses to follow simple rules -- like don't

smash other people. The rules of the town teams for that age tend to be that

all kids get a chance to play. But if the boy is not playing properly, then

there have to be consequnces and getting benched is one of them. His mom may not

like it, but too bad. I can't tell you how many moms/players would try to

convince me to get my husband to play their kid (or them) more in the games. I

told them all the same thing. The player has to earn that privilege. My hubby

is a good and fair coach.

He coached soccer for years (boys and girls). Not playing " like a gentleman "

would get you benched. Mouthing off to the coach would get you benched.

Ignoring instructions would get you benched. Fighting (verbal or physical) with

other players ... benched. Being benched is the coach's form of time out. You

get to sit there and think about why you have to sit there. If you don't

learn from it, you'll be sitting there a lot. Soccer is a game of skill, not

brute force.

I don't believe there is anything that obligates the town team to keep a

child on a team if he/she is causing harm to other children. Keeping that child

on a team could open them up to lawsuits by the other parents.That injured

child's parents could go after the town program to cover her dental bills.

The paperwork we all sign at the beginning of these programs covers

accidents. It does not protect the program from charges of negligence. It could

be

argued that the chipped tooth girl was injured by negligence, not an accident.

This dangerous boy was permitted to stay on the team even though the coach

knows he is a danger, thus putting the rest of the kids at risk.

We carry addidtional insurance for this very reason. A friend of ours was

sued because a boy did something he was repeatedly told not to do. He got hurt

-- knocked out his own tooth when he fell, with no involvment from any other

players. His parents sued. Amazingly, they won. They were awarded

medical/dental costs plus damages for " loss of services " for the missing tooth.

Oy ...

and at the time of the incident, the kid admitted to everyone that he was a

jerk and doing something he wasn't suppose to do. That insurance is well worth

it.

The out-of-control kid's mom may not want to hear what the coach had to say

about her kid's overall behavior and the reasons for benching him. And a new

team's coach will probably react in much the same way, even calling the old

coach to ask about the kid.

As for you child's implant ... that is another story. They can't not play

your child because of the disability. That is a violation of ADA law. If you

suspect it, talk with the coach, talk with the program director ... be the

active advocate that you are. As long as your child is playing according to the

rules and trying his best, my husband would be putting him in and giving him a

chance. I don't think you can equate the coach's safety concern about that

out-of-control child with your son's circumstances. There's a big difference.

Best -- Jill

[Guest guest]

Hey, Lydia,

My first question is, where was this mother while her son was acting out

during the practice?? As a mom, my reaction would have been to pull my child

aside and explain that he needed to behave in a way that doesn't infringe on

the other players. As an assistant coach on Ben's team last year, I made a

child sit out a practice when he was acting out and sat down in the middle

of the field and refused to play! I didn't yell at him, but it's just not

acceptable to ruin everyone else's time.

Regardless, the point of in-town soccer, especially in the younger grades,

is for the kids to have fun and to learn how to work together as a team

towards a common goal. To that end, it would be easy to include and

not feel that he is infringing on the rights of the other players to have a

good time and learn team work. Ben also plays soccer; his coach is our

neighbor, and he and the assistant coach have been working to make sure they

are close to Ben when they talk to him, and they let at least one other kid

go first, so he can see what's expected of him. But Sal or I attend every

game and practice, so that we can be the experts on what Ben needs from the

coach/team members. We did this at t-ball too, and so far it's been working,

though I'm curious to hear from parents of older kids as to what works.

As to the other kid, maybe this was a one-time blip, but if not, there are

other issues going on, and moving him to another team won't fix that.

Ciao,

Stefanie

mom to Ben, 6, severe to profound HOH, and Isabella, 9, mild loss, unaided

on 9/22/04 9:13 AM, Lydia Gregoret at lidagreg@... wrote:

>

> Hi Everyone,

> I have a tricky question about laws about including children with

> disabilities. Yesterday, at my son's soccer practice, one boy was

> acting kind-of wild. My son is friends with the boy, though he

> feels the boy sometimes invades his personal space and is not always

> a good listener. The boy definitely has some behavioral issues,

> though I don't know the details. At soccer, the boy was not

> listening to the coach, repeatedly pulling on other kids' jerseys on

> the field, running into them excessively, and eventually kicked a

> ball (not the one being played with but one on the sidelines) hard

> enough to chip a girl's tooth! After repeated failed attempts to

> get the child to listen to her, the coach made him sit out the rest

> of the practice. (This is a coed 1st grade town team.)

>

> The boy's mom is mad at the coach. She feels her son was singled

> out. Last year, and this boy were also on the same team, and

> I have to say, the boy's behavior was seldom a problem (to me he

> seemed worse than ever at yesterday's practice.) I feel for the

> mom, and think her son has every right to play soccer. I think the

> mom plans to find another team for her son.

>

> At the same time, I sympathize with the coach too. The safety of

> all the players is her responsibility. I also have concerns about

> my own child's safety on the field with out-of-control players,

> particularly with regards to his cochlear implant. The coach is

> very safety-conscious, and I think this is a mostly good thing.

> However, I had mentioned to her about 's implant and how I

> didn't want him kicked in the head, and now I am even slightly

> paranoid that she might decide that she can't take the risk of

> letting him play either!

>

> So my question is: what is the responsibility of a town soccer

> league with regards to inclusion of children with disabilities? The

> coaches are parent-volunteers, and most don't have the training to

> work with children with behavioral issues. I am sure some would be

> more willing to work with a parent and listen/learn how to include

> everyone than our coach seems to be, but was she breaking the law in

> making the boy sit out? What are the child's rights with regards to

> inclusion in something like this? (And what do I do if she

> arbitrarily decides that can't play either because of his

> implant?)

>

> Thanks,

> Lydia

> Mom of , implant using soccer player

> and Colin, playing tackle football this year! Yikes!

>

>

>

>

>

> All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each post is

> the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to copyright

> restrictions.

>

[Guest guest]

Hey, Lydia,

My first question is, where was this mother while her son was acting out

during the practice?? As a mom, my reaction would have been to pull my child

aside and explain that he needed to behave in a way that doesn't infringe on

the other players. As an assistant coach on Ben's team last year, I made a

child sit out a practice when he was acting out and sat down in the middle

of the field and refused to play! I didn't yell at him, but it's just not

acceptable to ruin everyone else's time.

Regardless, the point of in-town soccer, especially in the younger grades,

is for the kids to have fun and to learn how to work together as a team

towards a common goal. To that end, it would be easy to include and

not feel that he is infringing on the rights of the other players to have a

good time and learn team work. Ben also plays soccer; his coach is our

neighbor, and he and the assistant coach have been working to make sure they

are close to Ben when they talk to him, and they let at least one other kid

go first, so he can see what's expected of him. But Sal or I attend every

game and practice, so that we can be the experts on what Ben needs from the

coach/team members. We did this at t-ball too, and so far it's been working,

though I'm curious to hear from parents of older kids as to what works.

As to the other kid, maybe this was a one-time blip, but if not, there are

other issues going on, and moving him to another team won't fix that.

Ciao,

Stefanie

mom to Ben, 6, severe to profound HOH, and Isabella, 9, mild loss, unaided

on 9/22/04 9:13 AM, Lydia Gregoret at lidagreg@... wrote:

>

> Hi Everyone,

> I have a tricky question about laws about including children with

> disabilities. Yesterday, at my son's soccer practice, one boy was

> acting kind-of wild. My son is friends with the boy, though he

> feels the boy sometimes invades his personal space and is not always

> a good listener. The boy definitely has some behavioral issues,

> though I don't know the details. At soccer, the boy was not

> listening to the coach, repeatedly pulling on other kids' jerseys on

> the field, running into them excessively, and eventually kicked a

> ball (not the one being played with but one on the sidelines) hard

> enough to chip a girl's tooth! After repeated failed attempts to

> get the child to listen to her, the coach made him sit out the rest

> of the practice. (This is a coed 1st grade town team.)

>

> The boy's mom is mad at the coach. She feels her son was singled

> out. Last year, and this boy were also on the same team, and

> I have to say, the boy's behavior was seldom a problem (to me he

> seemed worse than ever at yesterday's practice.) I feel for the

> mom, and think her son has every right to play soccer. I think the

> mom plans to find another team for her son.

>

> At the same time, I sympathize with the coach too. The safety of

> all the players is her responsibility. I also have concerns about

> my own child's safety on the field with out-of-control players,

> particularly with regards to his cochlear implant. The coach is

> very safety-conscious, and I think this is a mostly good thing.

> However, I had mentioned to her about 's implant and how I

> didn't want him kicked in the head, and now I am even slightly

> paranoid that she might decide that she can't take the risk of

> letting him play either!

>

> So my question is: what is the responsibility of a town soccer

> league with regards to inclusion of children with disabilities? The

> coaches are parent-volunteers, and most don't have the training to

> work with children with behavioral issues. I am sure some would be

> more willing to work with a parent and listen/learn how to include

> everyone than our coach seems to be, but was she breaking the law in

> making the boy sit out? What are the child's rights with regards to

> inclusion in something like this? (And what do I do if she

> arbitrarily decides that can't play either because of his

> implant?)

>

> Thanks,

> Lydia

> Mom of , implant using soccer player

> and Colin, playing tackle football this year! Yikes!

>

>

>

>

>

> All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each post is

> the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to copyright

> restrictions.

>

[Guest guest]

Stefanie,

The mom was there at the practice. She said she tried to intervene

when he disobeyed at the previous practice (which I wasn't at

because was sick) but apparently was told to stay out of the

way -- she wasn't a coach. So the mom sees it as totally the

coach's problem. I believe her that the coach wasn't willing to

make an effort. (It is worth noting that the coach's daughter and

tooth-breaker child were in the same class last year.)

But the mom also says the coach " doesn't know how to work with kids

like X. " I don't see how the coach is supposed to know. I think

the mom is in denial. I don't think she realizes that other parents

find her son's behavior scary. If the mom were your friend, how

would you tell someone that in a nice way? Or would you even say

anything?

Jill -- you are right. Changing teams probably won't help now,

although last spring, the boy was not out of control, as I think his

spring coach (different person) would attest. I think the boy is

having a rough time adjusting to 1st grade, and that is why his

behavior is currently out-of-control. But as it is present and a

known safety hazard, it must be dealt with!

Lydia

>

> >

> > Hi Everyone,

> > I have a tricky question about laws about including children with

> > disabilities. Yesterday, at my son's soccer practice, one boy

was

> > acting kind-of wild. My son is friends with the boy, though he

> > feels the boy sometimes invades his personal space and is not

always

> > a good listener. The boy definitely has some behavioral issues,

> > though I don't know the details. At soccer, the boy was not

> > listening to the coach, repeatedly pulling on other kids'

jerseys on

> > the field, running into them excessively, and eventually kicked a

> > ball (not the one being played with but one on the sidelines)

hard

> > enough to chip a girl's tooth! After repeated failed attempts to

> > get the child to listen to her, the coach made him sit out the

rest

> > of the practice. (This is a coed 1st grade town team.)

> >

> > The boy's mom is mad at the coach. She feels her son was singled

> > out. Last year, and this boy were also on the same team,

and

> > I have to say, the boy's behavior was seldom a problem (to me he

> > seemed worse than ever at yesterday's practice.) I feel for the

> > mom, and think her son has every right to play soccer. I think

the

> > mom plans to find another team for her son.

> >

> > At the same time, I sympathize with the coach too. The safety of

> > all the players is her responsibility. I also have concerns

about

> > my own child's safety on the field with out-of-control players,

> > particularly with regards to his cochlear implant. The coach is

> > very safety-conscious, and I think this is a mostly good thing.

> > However, I had mentioned to her about 's implant and how I

> > didn't want him kicked in the head, and now I am even slightly

> > paranoid that she might decide that she can't take the risk of

> > letting him play either!

> >

> > So my question is: what is the responsibility of a town soccer

> > league with regards to inclusion of children with disabilities?

The

> > coaches are parent-volunteers, and most don't have the training

to

> > work with children with behavioral issues. I am sure some would

be

> > more willing to work with a parent and listen/learn how to

include

> > everyone than our coach seems to be, but was she breaking the

law in

> > making the boy sit out? What are the child's rights with

regards to

> > inclusion in something like this? (And what do I do if she

> > arbitrarily decides that can't play either because of his

> > implant?)

> >

> > Thanks,

> > Lydia

> > Mom of , implant using soccer player

> > and Colin, playing tackle football this year! Yikes!

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > All messages posted to this list are private and confidential.

Each post is

> > the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to

copyright

> > restrictions.

> >

[Guest guest]

Ok, then the coach has culpability if she didn't let the mom intervene.

After all, this IS first grade, and these kids are still little -- the mom

wasn't trying to coach, but she should be able to step in and remove her kid

and try to improve his behavior. If I were a coach, I would find that

helpful; then I don't have to worry about crossing a line.

As for whether or not to tell her, I wouldn't say a thing unless she asked

me, and even then I would be careful to tell her what you said here: your

son seems to be having a hard time adjusting to 1st grade, because I didn't

see this aggressive behavior last spring. If she's a really good friend,

you'd want to tell her other parents are finding her child's behavior scary.

But I'd wait until SHE brings it up, if you value the friendship.

Good luck!

Stefanie

on 9/22/04 10:49 AM, Lydia Gregoret at lidagreg@... wrote:

> Stefanie,

>

> The mom was there at the practice. She said she tried to intervene

> when he disobeyed at the previous practice (which I wasn't at

> because was sick) but apparently was told to stay out of the

> way -- she wasn't a coach. So the mom sees it as totally the

> coach's problem. I believe her that the coach wasn't willing to

> make an effort. (It is worth noting that the coach's daughter and

> tooth-breaker child were in the same class last year.)

>

> But the mom also says the coach " doesn't know how to work with kids

> like X. " I don't see how the coach is supposed to know. I think

> the mom is in denial. I don't think she realizes that other parents

> find her son's behavior scary. If the mom were your friend, how

> would you tell someone that in a nice way? Or would you even say

> anything?

>

> Jill -- you are right. Changing teams probably won't help now,

> although last spring, the boy was not out of control, as I think his

> spring coach (different person) would attest. I think the boy is

> having a rough time adjusting to 1st grade, and that is why his

> behavior is currently out-of-control. But as it is present and a

> known safety hazard, it must be dealt with!

>

> Lydia

[Guest guest]

Ok, then the coach has culpability if she didn't let the mom intervene.

After all, this IS first grade, and these kids are still little -- the mom

wasn't trying to coach, but she should be able to step in and remove her kid

and try to improve his behavior. If I were a coach, I would find that

helpful; then I don't have to worry about crossing a line.

As for whether or not to tell her, I wouldn't say a thing unless she asked

me, and even then I would be careful to tell her what you said here: your

son seems to be having a hard time adjusting to 1st grade, because I didn't

see this aggressive behavior last spring. If she's a really good friend,

you'd want to tell her other parents are finding her child's behavior scary.

But I'd wait until SHE brings it up, if you value the friendship.

Good luck!

Stefanie

on 9/22/04 10:49 AM, Lydia Gregoret at lidagreg@... wrote:

> Stefanie,

>

> The mom was there at the practice. She said she tried to intervene

> when he disobeyed at the previous practice (which I wasn't at

> because was sick) but apparently was told to stay out of the

> way -- she wasn't a coach. So the mom sees it as totally the

> coach's problem. I believe her that the coach wasn't willing to

> make an effort. (It is worth noting that the coach's daughter and

> tooth-breaker child were in the same class last year.)

>

> But the mom also says the coach " doesn't know how to work with kids

> like X. " I don't see how the coach is supposed to know. I think

> the mom is in denial. I don't think she realizes that other parents

> find her son's behavior scary. If the mom were your friend, how

> would you tell someone that in a nice way? Or would you even say

> anything?

>

> Jill -- you are right. Changing teams probably won't help now,

> although last spring, the boy was not out of control, as I think his

> spring coach (different person) would attest. I think the boy is

> having a rough time adjusting to 1st grade, and that is why his

> behavior is currently out-of-control. But as it is present and a

> known safety hazard, it must be dealt with!

>

> Lydia

[Guest guest]

Ok, then the coach has culpability if she didn't let the mom intervene.

After all, this IS first grade, and these kids are still little -- the mom

wasn't trying to coach, but she should be able to step in and remove her kid

and try to improve his behavior. If I were a coach, I would find that

helpful; then I don't have to worry about crossing a line.

As for whether or not to tell her, I wouldn't say a thing unless she asked

me, and even then I would be careful to tell her what you said here: your

son seems to be having a hard time adjusting to 1st grade, because I didn't

see this aggressive behavior last spring. If she's a really good friend,

you'd want to tell her other parents are finding her child's behavior scary.

But I'd wait until SHE brings it up, if you value the friendship.

Good luck!

Stefanie

on 9/22/04 10:49 AM, Lydia Gregoret at lidagreg@... wrote:

> Stefanie,

>

> The mom was there at the practice. She said she tried to intervene

> when he disobeyed at the previous practice (which I wasn't at

> because was sick) but apparently was told to stay out of the

> way -- she wasn't a coach. So the mom sees it as totally the

> coach's problem. I believe her that the coach wasn't willing to

> make an effort. (It is worth noting that the coach's daughter and

> tooth-breaker child were in the same class last year.)

>

> But the mom also says the coach " doesn't know how to work with kids

> like X. " I don't see how the coach is supposed to know. I think

> the mom is in denial. I don't think she realizes that other parents

> find her son's behavior scary. If the mom were your friend, how

> would you tell someone that in a nice way? Or would you even say

> anything?

>

> Jill -- you are right. Changing teams probably won't help now,

> although last spring, the boy was not out of control, as I think his

> spring coach (different person) would attest. I think the boy is

> having a rough time adjusting to 1st grade, and that is why his

> behavior is currently out-of-control. But as it is present and a

> known safety hazard, it must be dealt with!

>

> Lydia

[Guest guest]

Seems like a normal time out kind of thing. When my brother was in little

league kids had to sit out if they broke the rules (threw bats, etc.) I

dont think the coach really did anything wrong. If the rules are broken,

you don't get to play.

Tawnya

accessibility/inclusion question about soccer

>Hi Everyone,

>I have a tricky question about laws about including children with

>disabilities. Yesterday, at my son's soccer practice, one boy was

>acting kind-of wild. My son is friends with the boy, though he

>feels the boy sometimes invades his personal space and is not always

>a good listener. The boy definitely has some behavioral issues,

>though I don't know the details. At soccer, the boy was not

>listening to the coach, repeatedly pulling on other kids' jerseys on

>the field, running into them excessively, and eventually kicked a

>ball (not the one being played with but one on the sidelines) hard

>enough to chip a girl's tooth! After repeated failed attempts to

>get the child to listen to her, the coach made him sit out the rest

>of the practice. (This is a coed 1st grade town team.)

>

>The boy's mom is mad at the coach. She feels her son was singled

>out. Last year, and this boy were also on the same team, and

>I have to say, the boy's behavior was seldom a problem (to me he

>seemed worse than ever at yesterday's practice.) I feel for the

>mom, and think her son has every right to play soccer. I think the

>mom plans to find another team for her son.

>

>At the same time, I sympathize with the coach too. The safety of

>all the players is her responsibility. I also have concerns about

>my own child's safety on the field with out-of-control players,

>particularly with regards to his cochlear implant. The coach is

>very safety-conscious, and I think this is a mostly good thing.

>However, I had mentioned to her about 's implant and how I

>didn't want him kicked in the head, and now I am even slightly

>paranoid that she might decide that she can't take the risk of

>letting him play either!

>

>So my question is: what is the responsibility of a town soccer

>league with regards to inclusion of children with disabilities? The

>coaches are parent-volunteers, and most don't have the training to

>work with children with behavioral issues. I am sure some would be

>more willing to work with a parent and listen/learn how to include

>everyone than our coach seems to be, but was she breaking the law in

>making the boy sit out? What are the child's rights with regards to

>inclusion in something like this? (And what do I do if she

>arbitrarily decides that can't play either because of his

>implant?)

>

>Thanks,

>Lydia

>Mom of , implant using soccer player

>and Colin, playing tackle football this year! Yikes!

>

>

>

>

>All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each post

is the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to

copyright restrictions.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Seems like a normal time out kind of thing. When my brother was in little

league kids had to sit out if they broke the rules (threw bats, etc.) I

dont think the coach really did anything wrong. If the rules are broken,

you don't get to play.

Tawnya

accessibility/inclusion question about soccer

>Hi Everyone,

>I have a tricky question about laws about including children with

>disabilities. Yesterday, at my son's soccer practice, one boy was

>acting kind-of wild. My son is friends with the boy, though he

>feels the boy sometimes invades his personal space and is not always

>a good listener. The boy definitely has some behavioral issues,

>though I don't know the details. At soccer, the boy was not

>listening to the coach, repeatedly pulling on other kids' jerseys on

>the field, running into them excessively, and eventually kicked a

>ball (not the one being played with but one on the sidelines) hard

>enough to chip a girl's tooth! After repeated failed attempts to

>get the child to listen to her, the coach made him sit out the rest

>of the practice. (This is a coed 1st grade town team.)

>

>The boy's mom is mad at the coach. She feels her son was singled

>out. Last year, and this boy were also on the same team, and

>I have to say, the boy's behavior was seldom a problem (to me he

>seemed worse than ever at yesterday's practice.) I feel for the

>mom, and think her son has every right to play soccer. I think the

>mom plans to find another team for her son.

>

>At the same time, I sympathize with the coach too. The safety of

>all the players is her responsibility. I also have concerns about

>my own child's safety on the field with out-of-control players,

>particularly with regards to his cochlear implant. The coach is

>very safety-conscious, and I think this is a mostly good thing.

>However, I had mentioned to her about 's implant and how I

>didn't want him kicked in the head, and now I am even slightly

>paranoid that she might decide that she can't take the risk of

>letting him play either!

>

>So my question is: what is the responsibility of a town soccer

>league with regards to inclusion of children with disabilities? The

>coaches are parent-volunteers, and most don't have the training to

>work with children with behavioral issues. I am sure some would be

>more willing to work with a parent and listen/learn how to include

>everyone than our coach seems to be, but was she breaking the law in

>making the boy sit out? What are the child's rights with regards to

>inclusion in something like this? (And what do I do if she

>arbitrarily decides that can't play either because of his

>implant?)

>

>Thanks,

>Lydia

>Mom of , implant using soccer player

>and Colin, playing tackle football this year! Yikes!

>

>

>

>

>All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each post

is the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to

copyright restrictions.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Seems like a normal time out kind of thing. When my brother was in little

league kids had to sit out if they broke the rules (threw bats, etc.) I

dont think the coach really did anything wrong. If the rules are broken,

you don't get to play.

Tawnya

accessibility/inclusion question about soccer

>Hi Everyone,

>I have a tricky question about laws about including children with

>disabilities. Yesterday, at my son's soccer practice, one boy was

>acting kind-of wild. My son is friends with the boy, though he

>feels the boy sometimes invades his personal space and is not always

>a good listener. The boy definitely has some behavioral issues,

>though I don't know the details. At soccer, the boy was not

>listening to the coach, repeatedly pulling on other kids' jerseys on

>the field, running into them excessively, and eventually kicked a

>ball (not the one being played with but one on the sidelines) hard

>enough to chip a girl's tooth! After repeated failed attempts to

>get the child to listen to her, the coach made him sit out the rest

>of the practice. (This is a coed 1st grade town team.)

>

>The boy's mom is mad at the coach. She feels her son was singled

>out. Last year, and this boy were also on the same team, and

>I have to say, the boy's behavior was seldom a problem (to me he

>seemed worse than ever at yesterday's practice.) I feel for the

>mom, and think her son has every right to play soccer. I think the

>mom plans to find another team for her son.

>

>At the same time, I sympathize with the coach too. The safety of

>all the players is her responsibility. I also have concerns about

>my own child's safety on the field with out-of-control players,

>particularly with regards to his cochlear implant. The coach is

>very safety-conscious, and I think this is a mostly good thing.

>However, I had mentioned to her about 's implant and how I

>didn't want him kicked in the head, and now I am even slightly

>paranoid that she might decide that she can't take the risk of

>letting him play either!

>

>So my question is: what is the responsibility of a town soccer

>league with regards to inclusion of children with disabilities? The

>coaches are parent-volunteers, and most don't have the training to

>work with children with behavioral issues. I am sure some would be

>more willing to work with a parent and listen/learn how to include

>everyone than our coach seems to be, but was she breaking the law in

>making the boy sit out? What are the child's rights with regards to

>inclusion in something like this? (And what do I do if she

>arbitrarily decides that can't play either because of his

>implant?)

>

>Thanks,

>Lydia

>Mom of , implant using soccer player

>and Colin, playing tackle football this year! Yikes!

>

>

>

>

>All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each post

is the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to

copyright restrictions.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I would say the coach made the right call in not letting the out-of-control

child play for the day. I'd say she was being more than fair only taking

one game away from him. I probably wouldn't have been that nice. The first

thing anyone should learn from sports is sportsmanship. He wasn't acting

with good sportsmanship.

I can't imagine your son's implant has any relationship to a child who has

shown bad behavior. I wouldn't worry about it. And, I would be pleased the

coach seemed concerned about the CI. That means she understands the

importance of it to your son. Tish

> >

> >At the same time, I sympathize with the coach too. The safety of

> >all the players is her responsibility. I also have concerns about

> >my own child's safety on the field with out-of-control players,

> >particularly with regards to his cochlear implant. The coach is

> >very safety-conscious, and I think this is a mostly good thing.

> >However, I had mentioned to her about 's implant and how I

> >didn't want him kicked in the head, and now I am even slightly

> >paranoid that she might decide that she can't take the risk of

> >letting him play either!

> >

> >So my question is: what is the responsibility of a town soccer

> >league with regards to inclusion of children with disabilities? The

> >coaches are parent-volunteers, and most don't have the training to

> >work with children with behavioral issues. I am sure some would be

> >more willing to work with a parent and listen/learn how to include

> >everyone than our coach seems to be, but was she breaking the law in

> >making the boy sit out? What are the child's rights with regards to

> >inclusion in something like this? (And what do I do if she

> >arbitrarily decides that can't play either because of his

> >implant?)

> >

> >Thanks,

> >Lydia

> >Mom of , implant using soccer player

> >and Colin, playing tackle football this year! Yikes!

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each post

> is the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to

> copyright restrictions.

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

I would say the coach made the right call in not letting the out-of-control

child play for the day. I'd say she was being more than fair only taking

one game away from him. I probably wouldn't have been that nice. The first

thing anyone should learn from sports is sportsmanship. He wasn't acting

with good sportsmanship.

I can't imagine your son's implant has any relationship to a child who has

shown bad behavior. I wouldn't worry about it. And, I would be pleased the

coach seemed concerned about the CI. That means she understands the

importance of it to your son. Tish

> >

> >At the same time, I sympathize with the coach too. The safety of

> >all the players is her responsibility. I also have concerns about

> >my own child's safety on the field with out-of-control players,

> >particularly with regards to his cochlear implant. The coach is

> >very safety-conscious, and I think this is a mostly good thing.

> >However, I had mentioned to her about 's implant and how I

> >didn't want him kicked in the head, and now I am even slightly

> >paranoid that she might decide that she can't take the risk of

> >letting him play either!

> >

> >So my question is: what is the responsibility of a town soccer

> >league with regards to inclusion of children with disabilities? The

> >coaches are parent-volunteers, and most don't have the training to

> >work with children with behavioral issues. I am sure some would be

> >more willing to work with a parent and listen/learn how to include

> >everyone than our coach seems to be, but was she breaking the law in

> >making the boy sit out? What are the child's rights with regards to

> >inclusion in something like this? (And what do I do if she

> >arbitrarily decides that can't play either because of his

> >implant?)

> >

> >Thanks,

> >Lydia

> >Mom of , implant using soccer player

> >and Colin, playing tackle football this year! Yikes!

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each post

> is the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to

> copyright restrictions.

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Hi All,

When started playing soccer 3 years ago, I was concerned about how her

coach would support her, so I volunteered to help and was assigned as a

coach before anyone knew why I volunteered in the first place. She's now 3

years in and playing at the Kindergarden level. The behavior of this child

would not be tolerated. Being a behavior problem and then actually harming

another child is crossing the line. In this situation, every child, not only

ours with CIs, are at risk 9tho ours have additional risk factors). Parent

volunteers are not there to physically control a child like this. But it's

also up to the Coach/parent volunteer to escalate the issue thru the league

commisioners. I wonder what the parent of the child with a chipped tooth did

to follow up. There's a parent who has to speak and be heard. Loudly.

Betsy

>

>Reply-To: Listen-Up

>To: Listen-Up

>Subject: accessibility/inclusion question about soccer

>Date: Wed, 22 Sep 2004 13:13:18 -0000

>

>Hi Everyone,

>I have a tricky question about laws about including children with

>disabilities. Yesterday, at my son's soccer practice, one boy was

>acting kind-of wild. My son is friends with the boy, though he

>feels the boy sometimes invades his personal space and is not always

>a good listener. The boy definitely has some behavioral issues,

>though I don't know the details. At soccer, the boy was not

>listening to the coach, repeatedly pulling on other kids' jerseys on

>the field, running into them excessively, and eventually kicked a

>ball (not the one being played with but one on the sidelines) hard

>enough to chip a girl's tooth! After repeated failed attempts to

>get the child to listen to her, the coach made him sit out the rest

>of the practice. (This is a coed 1st grade town team.)

>

>The boy's mom is mad at the coach. She feels her son was singled

>out. Last year, and this boy were also on the same team, and

>I have to say, the boy's behavior was seldom a problem (to me he

>seemed worse than ever at yesterday's practice.) I feel for the

>mom, and think her son has every right to play soccer. I think the

>mom plans to find another team for her son.

>

>At the same time, I sympathize with the coach too. The safety of

>all the players is her responsibility. I also have concerns about

>my own child's safety on the field with out-of-control players,

>particularly with regards to his cochlear implant. The coach is

>very safety-conscious, and I think this is a mostly good thing.

>However, I had mentioned to her about 's implant and how I

>didn't want him kicked in the head, and now I am even slightly

>paranoid that she might decide that she can't take the risk of

>letting him play either!

>

>So my question is: what is the responsibility of a town soccer

>league with regards to inclusion of children with disabilities? The

>coaches are parent-volunteers, and most don't have the training to

>work with children with behavioral issues. I am sure some would be

>more willing to work with a parent and listen/learn how to include

>everyone than our coach seems to be, but was she breaking the law in

>making the boy sit out? What are the child's rights with regards to

>inclusion in something like this? (And what do I do if she

>arbitrarily decides that can't play either because of his

>implant?)

>

>Thanks,

>Lydia

>Mom of , implant using soccer player

>and Colin, playing tackle football this year! Yikes!

>

>

_________________________________________________________________

On the road to retirement? Check out MSN Life Events for advice on how to

get there! http://lifeevents.msn.com/category.aspx?cid=Retirement

[Guest guest]

Hi All,

When started playing soccer 3 years ago, I was concerned about how her

coach would support her, so I volunteered to help and was assigned as a

coach before anyone knew why I volunteered in the first place. She's now 3

years in and playing at the Kindergarden level. The behavior of this child

would not be tolerated. Being a behavior problem and then actually harming

another child is crossing the line. In this situation, every child, not only

ours with CIs, are at risk 9tho ours have additional risk factors). Parent

volunteers are not there to physically control a child like this. But it's

also up to the Coach/parent volunteer to escalate the issue thru the league

commisioners. I wonder what the parent of the child with a chipped tooth did

to follow up. There's a parent who has to speak and be heard. Loudly.

Betsy

>

>Reply-To: Listen-Up

>To: Listen-Up

>Subject: accessibility/inclusion question about soccer

>Date: Wed, 22 Sep 2004 13:13:18 -0000

>

>Hi Everyone,

>I have a tricky question about laws about including children with

>disabilities. Yesterday, at my son's soccer practice, one boy was

>acting kind-of wild. My son is friends with the boy, though he

>feels the boy sometimes invades his personal space and is not always

>a good listener. The boy definitely has some behavioral issues,

>though I don't know the details. At soccer, the boy was not

>listening to the coach, repeatedly pulling on other kids' jerseys on

>the field, running into them excessively, and eventually kicked a

>ball (not the one being played with but one on the sidelines) hard

>enough to chip a girl's tooth! After repeated failed attempts to

>get the child to listen to her, the coach made him sit out the rest

>of the practice. (This is a coed 1st grade town team.)

>

>The boy's mom is mad at the coach. She feels her son was singled

>out. Last year, and this boy were also on the same team, and

>I have to say, the boy's behavior was seldom a problem (to me he

>seemed worse than ever at yesterday's practice.) I feel for the

>mom, and think her son has every right to play soccer. I think the

>mom plans to find another team for her son.

>

>At the same time, I sympathize with the coach too. The safety of

>all the players is her responsibility. I also have concerns about

>my own child's safety on the field with out-of-control players,

>particularly with regards to his cochlear implant. The coach is

>very safety-conscious, and I think this is a mostly good thing.

>However, I had mentioned to her about 's implant and how I

>didn't want him kicked in the head, and now I am even slightly

>paranoid that she might decide that she can't take the risk of

>letting him play either!

>

>So my question is: what is the responsibility of a town soccer

>league with regards to inclusion of children with disabilities? The

>coaches are parent-volunteers, and most don't have the training to

>work with children with behavioral issues. I am sure some would be

>more willing to work with a parent and listen/learn how to include

>everyone than our coach seems to be, but was she breaking the law in

>making the boy sit out? What are the child's rights with regards to

>inclusion in something like this? (And what do I do if she

>arbitrarily decides that can't play either because of his

>implant?)

>

>Thanks,

>Lydia

>Mom of , implant using soccer player

>and Colin, playing tackle football this year! Yikes!

>

>

_________________________________________________________________

On the road to retirement? Check out MSN Life Events for advice on how to

get there! http://lifeevents.msn.com/category.aspx?cid=Retirement

[Guest guest]

Thank you all for your comments and thoughts on this. One of the

many things I love about this list is the reality check about how

much does the world need to bend to accommodate our (or someone

else's) child versus how much do we need to bend to accommodate the

world.

For those of you curious about what's happening, here is the

solution that seems to be evolving. The mom of Tooth Chipper asked

last year's coach, , who is listed as one of the assistant

coaches for this team too, but planned to hold back a bit to give

her own daughter a little more space, to specifically work with

Tooth Chipper, almost one-on-one during games and practices.

agreed! This plan has to be approved by Sherri, the head coach, but

I think she'll agree too. I think that it is a good solution,

because it would give the boy direct supervision by someone who he

is used to and comfortable with from last season.

Sherri the head coach also kindly wrote to me to ask if there was

anything she needed to know or tell other coaches about ,

which was very nice of her. (I thanked her but felt compelled to

mention that this is 's 5th season playing soccer and that his

doctor allows him to play with his implant.)

What still bothers me is that Tooth Chipper's mom is still under the

impression that her son, who definitely has documented disabilities

and is on an IEP, behaves " not that differently from most 6-year-old

boys. " I guess it depends on one's definition of different, but

when he is clearly a danger to others and ruins the game, that's

different enough!! (He's not a bully -- he is just oblivious to

personal space and can't follow directions.) I was also shocked by

her reaction to coach Sherri's suggestion that she call the mom of

the girl with the chipped tooth to apologize. She wrote to me, " I

would have thought that would be the coach's responsibility " but she

went ahead and did it anyway (grudgingly, I suppose). The girl's

mom wasn't angry (it was a small chip off a baby tooth.)

Please, if I am ever in THIS much denial about either one of my

children and my responsibilities for their actions, will someone

just whack me?? :-)

Lydia

Mom of 7 1/2, implant at age 4 and Colin, 10 1/2 hearing

[Guest guest]

Thank you all for your comments and thoughts on this. One of the

many things I love about this list is the reality check about how

much does the world need to bend to accommodate our (or someone

else's) child versus how much do we need to bend to accommodate the

world.

For those of you curious about what's happening, here is the

solution that seems to be evolving. The mom of Tooth Chipper asked

last year's coach, , who is listed as one of the assistant

coaches for this team too, but planned to hold back a bit to give

her own daughter a little more space, to specifically work with

Tooth Chipper, almost one-on-one during games and practices.

agreed! This plan has to be approved by Sherri, the head coach, but

I think she'll agree too. I think that it is a good solution,

because it would give the boy direct supervision by someone who he

is used to and comfortable with from last season.

Sherri the head coach also kindly wrote to me to ask if there was

anything she needed to know or tell other coaches about ,

which was very nice of her. (I thanked her but felt compelled to

mention that this is 's 5th season playing soccer and that his

doctor allows him to play with his implant.)

What still bothers me is that Tooth Chipper's mom is still under the

impression that her son, who definitely has documented disabilities

and is on an IEP, behaves " not that differently from most 6-year-old

boys. " I guess it depends on one's definition of different, but

when he is clearly a danger to others and ruins the game, that's

different enough!! (He's not a bully -- he is just oblivious to

personal space and can't follow directions.) I was also shocked by

her reaction to coach Sherri's suggestion that she call the mom of

the girl with the chipped tooth to apologize. She wrote to me, " I

would have thought that would be the coach's responsibility " but she

went ahead and did it anyway (grudgingly, I suppose). The girl's

mom wasn't angry (it was a small chip off a baby tooth.)

Please, if I am ever in THIS much denial about either one of my

children and my responsibilities for their actions, will someone

just whack me?? :-)

Lydia

Mom of 7 1/2, implant at age 4 and Colin, 10 1/2 hearing

[Guest guest]

Thank you all for your comments and thoughts on this. One of the

many things I love about this list is the reality check about how

much does the world need to bend to accommodate our (or someone

else's) child versus how much do we need to bend to accommodate the

world.

For those of you curious about what's happening, here is the

solution that seems to be evolving. The mom of Tooth Chipper asked

last year's coach, , who is listed as one of the assistant

coaches for this team too, but planned to hold back a bit to give

her own daughter a little more space, to specifically work with

Tooth Chipper, almost one-on-one during games and practices.

agreed! This plan has to be approved by Sherri, the head coach, but

I think she'll agree too. I think that it is a good solution,

because it would give the boy direct supervision by someone who he

is used to and comfortable with from last season.

Sherri the head coach also kindly wrote to me to ask if there was

anything she needed to know or tell other coaches about ,

which was very nice of her. (I thanked her but felt compelled to

mention that this is 's 5th season playing soccer and that his

doctor allows him to play with his implant.)

What still bothers me is that Tooth Chipper's mom is still under the

impression that her son, who definitely has documented disabilities

and is on an IEP, behaves " not that differently from most 6-year-old

boys. " I guess it depends on one's definition of different, but

when he is clearly a danger to others and ruins the game, that's

different enough!! (He's not a bully -- he is just oblivious to

personal space and can't follow directions.) I was also shocked by

her reaction to coach Sherri's suggestion that she call the mom of

the girl with the chipped tooth to apologize. She wrote to me, " I

would have thought that would be the coach's responsibility " but she

went ahead and did it anyway (grudgingly, I suppose). The girl's

mom wasn't angry (it was a small chip off a baby tooth.)

Please, if I am ever in THIS much denial about either one of my

children and my responsibilities for their actions, will someone

just whack me?? :-)

Lydia

Mom of 7 1/2, implant at age 4 and Colin, 10 1/2 hearing

[Guest guest]

I do daycare....you would be AMAZED how many people are in that deep of

denial! Its scary!!!

Tawnya

Re: accessibility/inclusion question about soccer

>Thank you all for your comments and thoughts on this. One of the

>many things I love about this list is the reality check about how

>much does the world need to bend to accommodate our (or someone

>else's) child versus how much do we need to bend to accommodate the

>world.

>

>For those of you curious about what's happening, here is the

>solution that seems to be evolving. The mom of Tooth Chipper asked

>last year's coach, , who is listed as one of the assistant

>coaches for this team too, but planned to hold back a bit to give

>her own daughter a little more space, to specifically work with

>Tooth Chipper, almost one-on-one during games and practices.

>agreed! This plan has to be approved by Sherri, the head coach, but

>I think she'll agree too. I think that it is a good solution,

>because it would give the boy direct supervision by someone who he

>is used to and comfortable with from last season.

>

>Sherri the head coach also kindly wrote to me to ask if there was

>anything she needed to know or tell other coaches about ,

>which was very nice of her. (I thanked her but felt compelled to

>mention that this is 's 5th season playing soccer and that his

>doctor allows him to play with his implant.)

>

>What still bothers me is that Tooth Chipper's mom is still under the

>impression that her son, who definitely has documented disabilities

>and is on an IEP, behaves " not that differently from most 6-year-old

>boys. " I guess it depends on one's definition of different, but

>when he is clearly a danger to others and ruins the game, that's

>different enough!! (He's not a bully -- he is just oblivious to

>personal space and can't follow directions.) I was also shocked by

>her reaction to coach Sherri's suggestion that she call the mom of

>the girl with the chipped tooth to apologize. She wrote to me, " I

>would have thought that would be the coach's responsibility " but she

>went ahead and did it anyway (grudgingly, I suppose). The girl's

>mom wasn't angry (it was a small chip off a baby tooth.)

>

>Please, if I am ever in THIS much denial about either one of my

>children and my responsibilities for their actions, will someone

>just whack me?? :-)

>

>Lydia

>Mom of 7 1/2, implant at age 4 and Colin, 10 1/2 hearing

>

>

>

>All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each post

is the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to

copyright restrictions.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I do daycare....you would be AMAZED how many people are in that deep of

denial! Its scary!!!

Tawnya

Re: accessibility/inclusion question about soccer

>Thank you all for your comments and thoughts on this. One of the

>many things I love about this list is the reality check about how

>much does the world need to bend to accommodate our (or someone

>else's) child versus how much do we need to bend to accommodate the

>world.

>

>For those of you curious about what's happening, here is the

>solution that seems to be evolving. The mom of Tooth Chipper asked

>last year's coach, , who is listed as one of the assistant

>coaches for this team too, but planned to hold back a bit to give

>her own daughter a little more space, to specifically work with

>Tooth Chipper, almost one-on-one during games and practices.

>agreed! This plan has to be approved by Sherri, the head coach, but

>I think she'll agree too. I think that it is a good solution,

>because it would give the boy direct supervision by someone who he

>is used to and comfortable with from last season.

>

>Sherri the head coach also kindly wrote to me to ask if there was

>anything she needed to know or tell other coaches about ,

>which was very nice of her. (I thanked her but felt compelled to

>mention that this is 's 5th season playing soccer and that his

>doctor allows him to play with his implant.)

>

>What still bothers me is that Tooth Chipper's mom is still under the

>impression that her son, who definitely has documented disabilities

>and is on an IEP, behaves " not that differently from most 6-year-old

>boys. " I guess it depends on one's definition of different, but

>when he is clearly a danger to others and ruins the game, that's

>different enough!! (He's not a bully -- he is just oblivious to

>personal space and can't follow directions.) I was also shocked by

>her reaction to coach Sherri's suggestion that she call the mom of

>the girl with the chipped tooth to apologize. She wrote to me, " I

>would have thought that would be the coach's responsibility " but she

>went ahead and did it anyway (grudgingly, I suppose). The girl's

>mom wasn't angry (it was a small chip off a baby tooth.)

>

>Please, if I am ever in THIS much denial about either one of my

>children and my responsibilities for their actions, will someone

>just whack me?? :-)

>

>Lydia

>Mom of 7 1/2, implant at age 4 and Colin, 10 1/2 hearing

>

>

>

>All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each post

is the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to

copyright restrictions.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I do daycare....you would be AMAZED how many people are in that deep of

denial! Its scary!!!

Tawnya

Re: accessibility/inclusion question about soccer

>Thank you all for your comments and thoughts on this. One of the

>many things I love about this list is the reality check about how

>much does the world need to bend to accommodate our (or someone

>else's) child versus how much do we need to bend to accommodate the

>world.

>

>For those of you curious about what's happening, here is the

>solution that seems to be evolving. The mom of Tooth Chipper asked

>last year's coach, , who is listed as one of the assistant

>coaches for this team too, but planned to hold back a bit to give

>her own daughter a little more space, to specifically work with

>Tooth Chipper, almost one-on-one during games and practices.

>agreed! This plan has to be approved by Sherri, the head coach, but

>I think she'll agree too. I think that it is a good solution,

>because it would give the boy direct supervision by someone who he

>is used to and comfortable with from last season.

>

>Sherri the head coach also kindly wrote to me to ask if there was

>anything she needed to know or tell other coaches about ,

>which was very nice of her. (I thanked her but felt compelled to

>mention that this is 's 5th season playing soccer and that his

>doctor allows him to play with his implant.)

>

>What still bothers me is that Tooth Chipper's mom is still under the

>impression that her son, who definitely has documented disabilities

>and is on an IEP, behaves " not that differently from most 6-year-old

>boys. " I guess it depends on one's definition of different, but

>when he is clearly a danger to others and ruins the game, that's

>different enough!! (He's not a bully -- he is just oblivious to

>personal space and can't follow directions.) I was also shocked by

>her reaction to coach Sherri's suggestion that she call the mom of

>the girl with the chipped tooth to apologize. She wrote to me, " I

>would have thought that would be the coach's responsibility " but she

>went ahead and did it anyway (grudgingly, I suppose). The girl's

>mom wasn't angry (it was a small chip off a baby tooth.)

>

>Please, if I am ever in THIS much denial about either one of my

>children and my responsibilities for their actions, will someone

>just whack me?? :-)

>

>Lydia

>Mom of 7 1/2, implant at age 4 and Colin, 10 1/2 hearing

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