RE: INFO FOR DIVORCE HEARING - MEG?

[Guest guest]

I wish i could say stuff too. I cant understand why people are so dense some

times. I know how it is dealing with ppl like that.

Chantelle

[Guest guest]

I wish i could say stuff too. I cant understand why people are so dense some

times. I know how it is dealing with ppl like that.

Chantelle

[Guest guest]

I wish i could say stuff too. I cant understand why people are so dense some

times. I know how it is dealing with ppl like that.

Chantelle

[Guest guest]

Amy,

I am so sorry you have to go threw this along with everything else

you have had to go threw!!! I wish I could be there to give you a

big hug!! I know what you mean about having to be home with Max and

not able to have a family memeber watch him while you work. My

husband is the only one that works since I have to be home with Eva

and if anything were to happen with Dan then I would be lost and

wouldnt know what to do.

Your ex is a big $#%@ I agree take the CHARGE manual with you.

Good Luck and I hope he steps up sooner or laster and becomes a

man!!!

Hugs,

Crystal and Eva (13 month old CHARGEr)

>

> Hello all...I need your help and I think Meg would probably be the

best person but if someone has such a document, input or advice,

that would be great too!

>

> My divorce hearing is coming up in a few weeks (June 7th) and my

ex is planning to argue that he can only afford " limited " alimony

(he can afford more than that) for me to stay at home with Maxwell.

He basically belittles my care for Max and believes I should be able

to work at least part time.

>

> As much as I would love to return to the workforce (my career

was my life before Max!!!), I don't know how I could do that as a

single mom with all of Max's current medical complications. There

is not another parent or family member who is able to watch Max

while I was at work. And I could hire a nurse, but that would

basically equal out my pay at work. Additionally, I am already

running ragged being up off and on all night with Maxwell and his

needs...and then during the day living on caffeine keeping up with

his therapy, insurance calls, doctor appointments, etc. I have no

idea how I would fit a job into my life right now...I think I would

have a breakdown!!!

>

> So we have hired a " forensic account " and " life care planner " to

assist with the alimony argument. We are putting together MANY,

MANY documents to prove how beneficial and necessary it is for me to

take care of Maxwell full time - his medical records, information

about CHARGE, etc.

>

> *** But what I was wondering MEG or anyone else interested, do

you have any document summarizing CHARGE and the importance of full

time intervention in the early years for development and long term

success? I know in my heart and mind that a full time

parent/caregiver is definitely what Maxwell needs for many years to

come (who knows how long) but we need to prove that. Like all of

us, I don't want money to interfere with the best possible outcome

for my special lil' guy.

>

> Once he goes to school and hopefully is doing well, I would LOVE

to return to work part time or even more! Before Max, my ex and I

owned eight CURVES locations in WV and I absolutely loved, loved,

loved it! I would soooo enjoy owning my own business again...I was

incredibly passionate about helping the women and it brought me

wonderful joy every day!

>

> Anyway, I welcome your input Meg or anyone else...your help

would be GREATLY appreciated! Thank you in advance for anything and

everything!

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Amy McKinley

> Mom to MIGHTY MAX (CHARGE, 9 months old, 7 months corrected)

> maxupdate.blogspot.com

>

> ---------------------------------

> Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls.

Great rates starting at 1 & cent;/min.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Amy,

I am so sorry you have to go threw this along with everything else

you have had to go threw!!! I wish I could be there to give you a

big hug!! I know what you mean about having to be home with Max and

not able to have a family memeber watch him while you work. My

husband is the only one that works since I have to be home with Eva

and if anything were to happen with Dan then I would be lost and

wouldnt know what to do.

Your ex is a big $#%@ I agree take the CHARGE manual with you.

Good Luck and I hope he steps up sooner or laster and becomes a

man!!!

Hugs,

Crystal and Eva (13 month old CHARGEr)

>

> Hello all...I need your help and I think Meg would probably be the

best person but if someone has such a document, input or advice,

that would be great too!

>

> My divorce hearing is coming up in a few weeks (June 7th) and my

ex is planning to argue that he can only afford " limited " alimony

(he can afford more than that) for me to stay at home with Maxwell.

He basically belittles my care for Max and believes I should be able

to work at least part time.

>

> As much as I would love to return to the workforce (my career

was my life before Max!!!), I don't know how I could do that as a

single mom with all of Max's current medical complications. There

is not another parent or family member who is able to watch Max

while I was at work. And I could hire a nurse, but that would

basically equal out my pay at work. Additionally, I am already

running ragged being up off and on all night with Maxwell and his

needs...and then during the day living on caffeine keeping up with

his therapy, insurance calls, doctor appointments, etc. I have no

idea how I would fit a job into my life right now...I think I would

have a breakdown!!!

>

> So we have hired a " forensic account " and " life care planner " to

assist with the alimony argument. We are putting together MANY,

MANY documents to prove how beneficial and necessary it is for me to

take care of Maxwell full time - his medical records, information

about CHARGE, etc.

>

> *** But what I was wondering MEG or anyone else interested, do

you have any document summarizing CHARGE and the importance of full

time intervention in the early years for development and long term

success? I know in my heart and mind that a full time

parent/caregiver is definitely what Maxwell needs for many years to

come (who knows how long) but we need to prove that. Like all of

us, I don't want money to interfere with the best possible outcome

for my special lil' guy.

>

> Once he goes to school and hopefully is doing well, I would LOVE

to return to work part time or even more! Before Max, my ex and I

owned eight CURVES locations in WV and I absolutely loved, loved,

loved it! I would soooo enjoy owning my own business again...I was

incredibly passionate about helping the women and it brought me

wonderful joy every day!

>

> Anyway, I welcome your input Meg or anyone else...your help

would be GREATLY appreciated! Thank you in advance for anything and

everything!

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Amy McKinley

> Mom to MIGHTY MAX (CHARGE, 9 months old, 7 months corrected)

> maxupdate.blogspot.com

>

> ---------------------------------

> Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls.

Great rates starting at 1 & cent;/min.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Amy,

I am so sorry you have to go threw this along with everything else

you have had to go threw!!! I wish I could be there to give you a

big hug!! I know what you mean about having to be home with Max and

not able to have a family memeber watch him while you work. My

husband is the only one that works since I have to be home with Eva

and if anything were to happen with Dan then I would be lost and

wouldnt know what to do.

Your ex is a big $#%@ I agree take the CHARGE manual with you.

Good Luck and I hope he steps up sooner or laster and becomes a

man!!!

Hugs,

Crystal and Eva (13 month old CHARGEr)

>

> Hello all...I need your help and I think Meg would probably be the

best person but if someone has such a document, input or advice,

that would be great too!

>

> My divorce hearing is coming up in a few weeks (June 7th) and my

ex is planning to argue that he can only afford " limited " alimony

(he can afford more than that) for me to stay at home with Maxwell.

He basically belittles my care for Max and believes I should be able

to work at least part time.

>

> As much as I would love to return to the workforce (my career

was my life before Max!!!), I don't know how I could do that as a

single mom with all of Max's current medical complications. There

is not another parent or family member who is able to watch Max

while I was at work. And I could hire a nurse, but that would

basically equal out my pay at work. Additionally, I am already

running ragged being up off and on all night with Maxwell and his

needs...and then during the day living on caffeine keeping up with

his therapy, insurance calls, doctor appointments, etc. I have no

idea how I would fit a job into my life right now...I think I would

have a breakdown!!!

>

> So we have hired a " forensic account " and " life care planner " to

assist with the alimony argument. We are putting together MANY,

MANY documents to prove how beneficial and necessary it is for me to

take care of Maxwell full time - his medical records, information

about CHARGE, etc.

>

> *** But what I was wondering MEG or anyone else interested, do

you have any document summarizing CHARGE and the importance of full

time intervention in the early years for development and long term

success? I know in my heart and mind that a full time

parent/caregiver is definitely what Maxwell needs for many years to

come (who knows how long) but we need to prove that. Like all of

us, I don't want money to interfere with the best possible outcome

for my special lil' guy.

>

> Once he goes to school and hopefully is doing well, I would LOVE

to return to work part time or even more! Before Max, my ex and I

owned eight CURVES locations in WV and I absolutely loved, loved,

loved it! I would soooo enjoy owning my own business again...I was

incredibly passionate about helping the women and it brought me

wonderful joy every day!

>

> Anyway, I welcome your input Meg or anyone else...your help

would be GREATLY appreciated! Thank you in advance for anything and

everything!

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Amy McKinley

> Mom to MIGHTY MAX (CHARGE, 9 months old, 7 months corrected)

> maxupdate.blogspot.com

>

> ---------------------------------

> Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls.

Great rates starting at 1 & cent;/min.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Amy,

You've received some great comments. I know that judge will not read the

Manual. He/she won't read anything. But a good lawyer can hold up the

Manual and say " this is some of what you need to know and to read and

understand in order to parent this child. I presume your kid will be there

too as exhibit A. If your lawyer thinks of something else that might help,

let us know.

Tim Hartshorne

[Guest guest]

Amy,

You've received some great comments. I know that judge will not read the

Manual. He/she won't read anything. But a good lawyer can hold up the

Manual and say " this is some of what you need to know and to read and

understand in order to parent this child. I presume your kid will be there

too as exhibit A. If your lawyer thinks of something else that might help,

let us know.

Tim Hartshorne

[Guest guest]

Amy,

Is your ex-husband high? Or just stupid?

One thing that should definately be pointed out to the judge is the cost of

daycare for a " normal " kid Max's age. Even if he didn't have any other health

issues, he would probably require care on a 1:1 or 2:1 child to care-giver ratio

simply because he is still a baby. There are laws in Washington state that

limit the number of infants a care-giver can attend to at one time. Because of

this, the cost of day-care is going to be higher than it would be for an older

child.

The next thing that should be pointed out is that Max is not normal. Random

Betty off the street is probaby not going to be able to attend to his needs in a

way that will keep him from getting sick--at least not without some extensive

training (during which time she will expect to be paid at least a partial or

training wage--again, laws in Washington State dictate how much this is going to

cost). How many months did you spend at Max's bedside, slowly learning his care

before you left the hospital?

We came to the same conclusion you did--in order to obtain the level of care

for Evan that we provide and that we would expect a care-giver to provide, we

would have to hire a nurse. And they don't work for peanuts. By the time you

pay for the care-giver, you may as well have not gone to work in the first

place.

It's too bad you can't bring Max to the hearing and just give a real-time

demonstration of exactly what it is you do for him.

(mom to Evan 9.5 mos)

Amy McKinley wrote:

Tim,

Unfortunately the judge will not have time to read that entire manual (but I

am planning on bringing one just to illustrate the depth of this syndrome) so I

want to put together something " short and sweet " that emphasizes the importance

of intervention for the health and development. Thanks!

Tim Hartshorne wrote:

Amy,

I would provide a copy of the CHARGE Syndrome Manual that the Foundation

has.

Tim Hartshorne (father of , 17)

[Guest guest]

have u read soem of the comments on his group i put make him stay with him

for a while jsut go dump him take all the stuff show him make him read the

blog its really a great place to know whhat u rgoing thourgh i love it and i

love u xxxxxxxxxx ellen

>

> I agree with Tim. Take the manual with you. Even if there isn't time to

> read it the amount of information alone is amazing.

>

> I too couldn't work out of the home due to Patty's health and needs.

> Instead I started baby-sitting my sisters children. From there I started

> a daycare

> out of my home. That was difficult and one of the hardest jobs I have

> ever

> had. Once Patty got to our home district I got a job outside my

> home. Boy

> it was like taking a vacation!

>

> If the guy is fighting so hard then there must be someone out there who

> sees

> it and will help you. Trust that the right thing will happen. I can't

> imagine what you are going through. My husband has been my rock. I

> could never

> do what I have done had I been a single mother. You must be a very strong

> woman. Lean on that knowledge. Also lean on the knowledge that the early

> years

> are the most formative and important years in anyone's life. They are

> ever

> more important for our children.

>

> I wish you all the best.

>

> Bonnie, Mom to Kris 23, Patty CHARGE 21 and wife to

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

have u read soem of the comments on his group i put make him stay with him

for a while jsut go dump him take all the stuff show him make him read the

blog its really a great place to know whhat u rgoing thourgh i love it and i

love u xxxxxxxxxx ellen

>

> I agree with Tim. Take the manual with you. Even if there isn't time to

> read it the amount of information alone is amazing.

>

> I too couldn't work out of the home due to Patty's health and needs.

> Instead I started baby-sitting my sisters children. From there I started

> a daycare

> out of my home. That was difficult and one of the hardest jobs I have

> ever

> had. Once Patty got to our home district I got a job outside my

> home. Boy

> it was like taking a vacation!

>

> If the guy is fighting so hard then there must be someone out there who

> sees

> it and will help you. Trust that the right thing will happen. I can't

> imagine what you are going through. My husband has been my rock. I

> could never

> do what I have done had I been a single mother. You must be a very strong

> woman. Lean on that knowledge. Also lean on the knowledge that the early

> years

> are the most formative and important years in anyone's life. They are

> ever

> more important for our children.

>

> I wish you all the best.

>

> Bonnie, Mom to Kris 23, Patty CHARGE 21 and wife to

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

have u read soem of the comments on his group i put make him stay with him

for a while jsut go dump him take all the stuff show him make him read the

blog its really a great place to know whhat u rgoing thourgh i love it and i

love u xxxxxxxxxx ellen

>

> I agree with Tim. Take the manual with you. Even if there isn't time to

> read it the amount of information alone is amazing.

>

> I too couldn't work out of the home due to Patty's health and needs.

> Instead I started baby-sitting my sisters children. From there I started

> a daycare

> out of my home. That was difficult and one of the hardest jobs I have

> ever

> had. Once Patty got to our home district I got a job outside my

> home. Boy

> it was like taking a vacation!

>

> If the guy is fighting so hard then there must be someone out there who

> sees

> it and will help you. Trust that the right thing will happen. I can't

> imagine what you are going through. My husband has been my rock. I

> could never

> do what I have done had I been a single mother. You must be a very strong

> woman. Lean on that knowledge. Also lean on the knowledge that the early

> years

> are the most formative and important years in anyone's life. They are

> ever

> more important for our children.

>

> I wish you all the best.

>

> Bonnie, Mom to Kris 23, Patty CHARGE 21 and wife to

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Amy

I had no idea you have all this to contend with too! I cant help you

at all with the legal jargon, its different in the UK, but you sting

the pathetic ba...rd (sorry its harsh) for every penny you can, you

and max will need it for the long term, caring for him, on your own

you shouldnt have to work as well, who does he think he is?

he couldnt care for Max thats why he belittles you it makes him feel better!

any way thats my twp pennies worth! needed to let off that steam after

reading your dilemma.

very good luck with this

love Les x

> Hello all...I need your help and I think Meg would probably be the best

> person but if someone has such a document, input or advice, that would be

> great too!

>

> My divorce hearing is coming up in a few weeks (June 7th) and my ex is

> planning to argue that he can only afford " limited " alimony (he can afford

> more than that) for me to stay at home with Maxwell. He basically belittles

> my care for Max and believes I should be able to work at least part time.

>

> As much as I would love to return to the workforce (my career was my life

> before Max!!!), I don't know how I could do that as a single mom with all of

> Max's current medical complications. There is not another parent or family

> member who is able to watch Max while I was at work. And I could hire a

> nurse, but that would basically equal out my pay at work. Additionally, I

> am already running ragged being up off and on all night with Maxwell and his

> needs...and then during the day living on caffeine keeping up with his

> therapy, insurance calls, doctor appointments, etc. I have no idea how I

> would fit a job into my life right now...I think I would have a breakdown!!!

>

>

> So we have hired a " forensic account " and " life care planner " to assist

> with the alimony argument. We are putting together MANY, MANY documents to

> prove how beneficial and necessary it is for me to take care of Maxwell full

> time - his medical records, information about CHARGE, etc.

>

> *** But what I was wondering MEG or anyone else interested, do you have

> any document summarizing CHARGE and the importance of full time intervention

> in the early years for development and long term success? I know in my

> heart and mind that a full time parent/caregiver is definitely what Maxwell

> needs for many years to come (who knows how long) but we need to prove that.

> Like all of us, I don't want money to interfere with the best possible

> outcome for my special lil' guy.

>

> Once he goes to school and hopefully is doing well, I would LOVE to return

> to work part time or even more! Before Max, my ex and I owned eight CURVES

> locations in WV and I absolutely loved, loved, loved it! I would soooo

> enjoy owning my own business again...I was incredibly passionate about

> helping the women and it brought me wonderful joy every day!

>

> Anyway, I welcome your input Meg or anyone else...your help would be

> GREATLY appreciated! Thank you in advance for anything and everything!

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Amy McKinley

> Mom to MIGHTY MAX (CHARGE, 9 months old, 7 months corrected)

> maxupdate.blogspot.com

>

> ---------------------------------

> Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates

> starting at 1 & cent;/min.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Amy

I had no idea you have all this to contend with too! I cant help you

at all with the legal jargon, its different in the UK, but you sting

the pathetic ba...rd (sorry its harsh) for every penny you can, you

and max will need it for the long term, caring for him, on your own

you shouldnt have to work as well, who does he think he is?

he couldnt care for Max thats why he belittles you it makes him feel better!

any way thats my twp pennies worth! needed to let off that steam after

reading your dilemma.

very good luck with this

love Les x

> Hello all...I need your help and I think Meg would probably be the best

> person but if someone has such a document, input or advice, that would be

> great too!

>

> My divorce hearing is coming up in a few weeks (June 7th) and my ex is

> planning to argue that he can only afford " limited " alimony (he can afford

> more than that) for me to stay at home with Maxwell. He basically belittles

> my care for Max and believes I should be able to work at least part time.

>

> As much as I would love to return to the workforce (my career was my life

> before Max!!!), I don't know how I could do that as a single mom with all of

> Max's current medical complications. There is not another parent or family

> member who is able to watch Max while I was at work. And I could hire a

> nurse, but that would basically equal out my pay at work. Additionally, I

> am already running ragged being up off and on all night with Maxwell and his

> needs...and then during the day living on caffeine keeping up with his

> therapy, insurance calls, doctor appointments, etc. I have no idea how I

> would fit a job into my life right now...I think I would have a breakdown!!!

>

>

> So we have hired a " forensic account " and " life care planner " to assist

> with the alimony argument. We are putting together MANY, MANY documents to

> prove how beneficial and necessary it is for me to take care of Maxwell full

> time - his medical records, information about CHARGE, etc.

>

> *** But what I was wondering MEG or anyone else interested, do you have

> any document summarizing CHARGE and the importance of full time intervention

> in the early years for development and long term success? I know in my

> heart and mind that a full time parent/caregiver is definitely what Maxwell

> needs for many years to come (who knows how long) but we need to prove that.

> Like all of us, I don't want money to interfere with the best possible

> outcome for my special lil' guy.

>

> Once he goes to school and hopefully is doing well, I would LOVE to return

> to work part time or even more! Before Max, my ex and I owned eight CURVES

> locations in WV and I absolutely loved, loved, loved it! I would soooo

> enjoy owning my own business again...I was incredibly passionate about

> helping the women and it brought me wonderful joy every day!

>

> Anyway, I welcome your input Meg or anyone else...your help would be

> GREATLY appreciated! Thank you in advance for anything and everything!

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Amy McKinley

> Mom to MIGHTY MAX (CHARGE, 9 months old, 7 months corrected)

> maxupdate.blogspot.com

>

> ---------------------------------

> Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates

> starting at 1 & cent;/min.

>

>