Pity party for Topper

[Guest guest]

I've spent a couple of days now chanting... my mantra..... I'm well

enough to get sick.... getting sick is a good sign..... but... well...

getting sick sucks.

I went for years and years as a hyper never getting periods, never

getting sick... I was immune to everything..... then I went long term

hypo.... through the inexcusable abuse that was called 'under doctor's

care' and ended up having such low body temp and low metabolic rate that

my body couldn't support bacterial or viral illness.

It was a cause for celebration the first time I got a cold... it meant

that my body finally had a body temp high enough to get sick......

Whatever I have come down with this time... just sucks.... it's built up

for a couple of days, starting with a several short sleep night followed

by two more.... when I woke with the severe headache I just tried to

brush it off as lack of sleep..... but it just didn't want to go

away.....

By the end of that day I was becoming more relaxed and it all just

stopped.... But I was kept up again that night by rude and inconsiderate

cretins and went short on sleep again.... I managed to fuddle through

that day, yesterday.... and it didn't seem so bad..... but I went to bed

last night, a bit early, actually... but was so headachy and stiff and

cranky that I just couldn't get comfortable to sleep.... I tried

valiantly for a couple of hours and then gave up....

So... It's about 7:30 at night.... I've been up since 1:30 this

morning... the headache is severe enough to bring tears.... I can't lay

or sit or stand or walk without it throbbing.... I'm not taking any more

pain meds, they've not touched it in the least (took 1 tab doses three

times during the day, with no effect I doubt that taking any more will

help, and I've run out anyway.... took over a year to use up that 30 tab

bottle... I used to take twice that in just one day).

I'm whinning.... so if you want to stop now... you won't miss

anything.....

I've worked at hydrating....

Been REALLY OCD about taking my thyroid doses on time.

Ate regularly.

Tried deep breathing and gentle stretches....

Did my chanting... mantra.... humming thing that is supposed to help calm

the body, and often does for me.....

Tried to get involved in a project that actually ended up making me feel

worse.....

.....and in between all of this I took my temp.... it's 101.. so I do have

a fever... my normal daytime temp is pretty steady at about 98.4 to

98.6....

It's bad enough, still... where I won't be able to lay down to sleep...

and I don't sleep well sitting up.. not that it hurts any less sitting

up.....

I've not done any unusual physical activity... no odd lifting or

bending... but I did do some shoveling the first day after the 'short

sleep' night.....

My gut is telling me that this is more of an accumulated thing... a bit

too much physical (shoveling) after a night with not enough

sleep...followed by two more nights being short on sleep... combined with

a severe attitude at the person that was keeping me from going to bed on

time despite my pretty much telling her that I wanted to go to bed.......

So.... I need to do some more relaxing.... and calming.... and mental

focus realignment (ie getting away from being pissed off and letting it

go - fuming about it ain't gonna change what happened - I NEED to let it

go)

I feel too warm but don't want to turn the thermostat down any more (it's

at 64 right now) cuz if I am fighting a real 'sick bug' my body needs a

fever to attack the bug and get me well... .but I'm just

arrrrhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhffffffftttttt

someone make me feel better......

end of pity party

Topper ()