Guest guest Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 Chantelle- Hmmm... I know my advice won't be the best, but I feel compelled to reply. Do you have a counselor or someone to talk to about the fear and rage?? Sounds like you could use a supportive, outside person to talk it over with. And it sounds like you are truly afraid. Which makes me afraid for you! Is it enough of a fear that you should be going to the police for some protection? We have an " order of protection " here which would forbid a person from contacting you or getting within a close physical proximity. Can your dad help?? I suppose not cuz it sounds like he's too close to the problem. I am counting on one of our other wise folks to give better advice. I'm thinking of you... Michele W mom to Aubrie 8 yrs CHARGE, 14 yrs and wife to DJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 Chantelle- Hmmm... I know my advice won't be the best, but I feel compelled to reply. Do you have a counselor or someone to talk to about the fear and rage?? Sounds like you could use a supportive, outside person to talk it over with. And it sounds like you are truly afraid. Which makes me afraid for you! Is it enough of a fear that you should be going to the police for some protection? We have an " order of protection " here which would forbid a person from contacting you or getting within a close physical proximity. Can your dad help?? I suppose not cuz it sounds like he's too close to the problem. I am counting on one of our other wise folks to give better advice. I'm thinking of you... Michele W mom to Aubrie 8 yrs CHARGE, 14 yrs and wife to DJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 Chantelle- Hmmm... I know my advice won't be the best, but I feel compelled to reply. Do you have a counselor or someone to talk to about the fear and rage?? Sounds like you could use a supportive, outside person to talk it over with. And it sounds like you are truly afraid. Which makes me afraid for you! Is it enough of a fear that you should be going to the police for some protection? We have an " order of protection " here which would forbid a person from contacting you or getting within a close physical proximity. Can your dad help?? I suppose not cuz it sounds like he's too close to the problem. I am counting on one of our other wise folks to give better advice. I'm thinking of you... Michele W mom to Aubrie 8 yrs CHARGE, 14 yrs and wife to DJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 chantelle, are u talking about ur mum? > > Chantelle- > Hmmm... I know my advice won't be the best, but I feel compelled to reply. > Do you have a counselor or someone to talk to about the fear and rage?? > Sounds like you could use a supportive, outside person to talk it over > with. > > > And it sounds like you are truly afraid. Which makes me afraid for > you! Is > it enough of a fear that you should be going to the police for some > protection? We have an " order of protection " here which would forbid a > person from contacting you or getting within a close physical proximity. > > Can your dad help?? I suppose not cuz it sounds like he's too close to > the > problem. > > I am counting on one of our other wise folks to give better advice. I'm > thinking of you... > > Michele W > mom to Aubrie 8 yrs CHARGE, 14 yrs and wife to DJ > > > > > CHARGE SYNDROME LISTSERV PHOTO PAGE: > http://www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2117043995 > > Membership of this email support group does not constitute membership in > the CHARGE Syndrome Foundation; for information about the CHARGE Syndrome > Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter), > please contact marion@... or visit > the web site at http://www.chargesyndrome.org > > 8th International > CHARGE Syndrome Conference, July, 2007. Information will be available at > www.chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 Chantelle, I think writing a letter would be good but you have to be very careful. People only hear (or read) what they want to. That's human. It sounds like this person is controlling and you find difficulty with that. It might be the only way this person knows how to act so you must teach them differently. Don't assume this person doesn't care about you. That might be the only way this person knows how to show it. You can teach them differently. It also sounds like you have had a difficulty history with that person. You must always remember the past but you must remember it to make a positive change for the present and future. You are you're own destiny. Make a positive change. Start from where you are to build a positive relationship with this person. When you write the letter write things like I feel, I want, I need, ... in other words don't talk about " you " but " I. " And remember to add that you care. If you didn't you wouldn't hurt. Then let that person react to the letter in their way. Finally remember that people have the gift of choice. You can open the door but it's the persons choice to enter it. If they don't it isn't your fault and move on. If they do, hooray! Always remember " It's not what you say, but how you say it! " Write the letter and then if you want you can send it personally to me. I'd edit it for you if you wish. Oh, and keep it short and simple. Bonnie, Mom to a 23, Patty CHARGE 21, and wife to Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 Chantelle, I think writing a letter would be good but you have to be very careful. People only hear (or read) what they want to. That's human. It sounds like this person is controlling and you find difficulty with that. It might be the only way this person knows how to act so you must teach them differently. Don't assume this person doesn't care about you. That might be the only way this person knows how to show it. You can teach them differently. It also sounds like you have had a difficulty history with that person. You must always remember the past but you must remember it to make a positive change for the present and future. You are you're own destiny. Make a positive change. Start from where you are to build a positive relationship with this person. When you write the letter write things like I feel, I want, I need, ... in other words don't talk about " you " but " I. " And remember to add that you care. If you didn't you wouldn't hurt. Then let that person react to the letter in their way. Finally remember that people have the gift of choice. You can open the door but it's the persons choice to enter it. If they don't it isn't your fault and move on. If they do, hooray! Always remember " It's not what you say, but how you say it! " Write the letter and then if you want you can send it personally to me. I'd edit it for you if you wish. Oh, and keep it short and simple. Bonnie, Mom to a 23, Patty CHARGE 21, and wife to Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 Chantelle, I think writing a letter would be good but you have to be very careful. People only hear (or read) what they want to. That's human. It sounds like this person is controlling and you find difficulty with that. It might be the only way this person knows how to act so you must teach them differently. Don't assume this person doesn't care about you. That might be the only way this person knows how to show it. You can teach them differently. It also sounds like you have had a difficulty history with that person. You must always remember the past but you must remember it to make a positive change for the present and future. You are you're own destiny. Make a positive change. Start from where you are to build a positive relationship with this person. When you write the letter write things like I feel, I want, I need, ... in other words don't talk about " you " but " I. " And remember to add that you care. If you didn't you wouldn't hurt. Then let that person react to the letter in their way. Finally remember that people have the gift of choice. You can open the door but it's the persons choice to enter it. If they don't it isn't your fault and move on. If they do, hooray! Always remember " It's not what you say, but how you say it! " Write the letter and then if you want you can send it personally to me. I'd edit it for you if you wish. Oh, and keep it short and simple. Bonnie, Mom to a 23, Patty CHARGE 21, and wife to Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 over here if people r like that we call it obsessive im obsessed with one of my friends but we trying to lessen it jsut say you dont like how they r > > chantelle, are u talking about ur mum? > > > > > > Chantelle- > > Hmmm... I know my advice won't be the best, but I feel compelled to > reply. > > Do you have a counselor or someone to talk to about the fear and rage?? > > Sounds like you could use a supportive, outside person to talk it over > > with. > > > > > > And it sounds like you are truly afraid. Which makes me afraid for > > you! Is > > it enough of a fear that you should be going to the police for some > > protection? We have an " order of protection " here which would forbid a > > person from contacting you or getting within a close physical proximity. > > > > Can your dad help?? I suppose not cuz it sounds like he's too close to > > the > > problem. > > > > I am counting on one of our other wise folks to give better advice. I'm > > thinking of you... > > > > Michele W > > mom to Aubrie 8 yrs CHARGE, 14 yrs and wife to DJ > > > > > > > > > > CHARGE SYNDROME LISTSERV PHOTO PAGE: > > http://www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2117043995 > > > > Membership of this email support group does not constitute membership in > > the CHARGE Syndrome Foundation; for information about the CHARGE > Syndrome > > Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter), > > please contact marion@... or visit > > the web site at http://www.chargesyndrome.org > > > > 8th International > > CHARGE Syndrome Conference, July, 2007. Information will be available at > > www.chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 over here if people r like that we call it obsessive im obsessed with one of my friends but we trying to lessen it jsut say you dont like how they r > > chantelle, are u talking about ur mum? > > > > > > Chantelle- > > Hmmm... I know my advice won't be the best, but I feel compelled to > reply. > > Do you have a counselor or someone to talk to about the fear and rage?? > > Sounds like you could use a supportive, outside person to talk it over > > with. > > > > > > And it sounds like you are truly afraid. Which makes me afraid for > > you! Is > > it enough of a fear that you should be going to the police for some > > protection? We have an " order of protection " here which would forbid a > > person from contacting you or getting within a close physical proximity. > > > > Can your dad help?? I suppose not cuz it sounds like he's too close to > > the > > problem. > > > > I am counting on one of our other wise folks to give better advice. I'm > > thinking of you... > > > > Michele W > > mom to Aubrie 8 yrs CHARGE, 14 yrs and wife to DJ > > > > > > > > > > CHARGE SYNDROME LISTSERV PHOTO PAGE: > > http://www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2117043995 > > > > Membership of this email support group does not constitute membership in > > the CHARGE Syndrome Foundation; for information about the CHARGE > Syndrome > > Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter), > > please contact marion@... or visit > > the web site at http://www.chargesyndrome.org > > > > 8th International > > CHARGE Syndrome Conference, July, 2007. Information will be available at > > www.chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 over here if people r like that we call it obsessive im obsessed with one of my friends but we trying to lessen it jsut say you dont like how they r > > chantelle, are u talking about ur mum? > > > > > > Chantelle- > > Hmmm... I know my advice won't be the best, but I feel compelled to > reply. > > Do you have a counselor or someone to talk to about the fear and rage?? > > Sounds like you could use a supportive, outside person to talk it over > > with. > > > > > > And it sounds like you are truly afraid. Which makes me afraid for > > you! Is > > it enough of a fear that you should be going to the police for some > > protection? We have an " order of protection " here which would forbid a > > person from contacting you or getting within a close physical proximity. > > > > Can your dad help?? I suppose not cuz it sounds like he's too close to > > the > > problem. > > > > I am counting on one of our other wise folks to give better advice. I'm > > thinking of you... > > > > Michele W > > mom to Aubrie 8 yrs CHARGE, 14 yrs and wife to DJ > > > > > > > > > > CHARGE SYNDROME LISTSERV PHOTO PAGE: > > http://www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2117043995 > > > > Membership of this email support group does not constitute membership in > > the CHARGE Syndrome Foundation; for information about the CHARGE > Syndrome > > Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter), > > please contact marion@... or visit > > the web site at http://www.chargesyndrome.org > > > > 8th International > > CHARGE Syndrome Conference, July, 2007. Information will be available at > > www.chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 bonne ijn my opinion its all ocd could this person be ocding on ehr i knwo i do it on people and they know i obsess ill go wat r u doing y arent u talking to me y this wat y wat where all that im just saying if soemone controlls you isnt that ocd ellen > > Chantelle, > > I think writing a letter would be good but you have to be very careful. > People only hear (or read) what they want to. That's human. > > It sounds like this person is controlling and you find difficulty with > that. > It might be the only way this person knows how to act so you must teach > them > differently. Don't assume this person doesn't care about you. That might > be > the only way this person knows how to show it. You can teach them > differently. It also sounds like you have had a difficulty history with > that person. > You must always remember the past but you must remember it to make a > positive > change for the present and future. > > You are you're own destiny. Make a positive change. Start from where you > are to build a positive relationship with this person. When you write the > letter write things like I feel, I want, I need, ... in other words don't > talk > about " you " but " I. " And remember to add that you care. If you didn't you > wouldn't hurt. Then let that person react to the letter in their > way. Finally > remember that people have the gift of choice. You can open the door but > it's the > persons choice to enter it. If they don't it isn't your fault and move > on. If > they do, hooray! > > Always remember " It's not what you say, but how you say it! " > > Write the letter and then if you want you can send it personally to > me. I'd > edit it for you if you wish. > > Oh, and keep it short and simple. > > > > > Bonnie, Mom to a 23, Patty CHARGE 21, and wife to > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 Chantelle- I've sent you an email to hopefully assist with writing your letter. Hope all goes well Kasee > > Well I need to write a leter. this one to a family member. I cant speak to > them face to face but i need to tell them the are overbearing and > overprotective. I need to tell them to let me live my life. Let me make some > of my own desisions and if i make a mistake not to rub it in my face. I need > to learn to live or whats the point of even exsisting. From their > perspective i have charge adn they need to protect me from the world. > However they have scared away anyone that ever tried to be a friend to me. I > could only be friends with people that they approved. If anyone did anything > that contradicted this person, this person would thregten them with real > threghts to the point that people are truely afraid for their own safty. I > am afraid to go near this person's city cause maby they will be watching me > or maby someone they know will say they saw me go here or there. it scares > me cause I want to say why is it their business where i go but they question > every move i make. Im afraid to ansere my phone because they may call. when > i talk to them they always want to know how my relationship with my dad is. > like they will jump on any problem i may be having. I dont know how to > properly deal with a problem cause I always hear this person mocking me. I > have so much rage i could just bash myself to death if i could to end this > misery but im afraid that if i died they would come to my funeral be all > touchy feely with my body and still harass my dad and his family. I have to > stay to protect them. I want to move to another country to get away from > this person. But thats a dumb reason to leave canada. I am truely afraid of > this person. I dont know what to do and they called and left a message on my > phone again today and i dont know what to do any more. > > > Chantelle > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 Chantelle- I've sent you an email to hopefully assist with writing your letter. Hope all goes well Kasee > > Well I need to write a leter. this one to a family member. I cant speak to > them face to face but i need to tell them the are overbearing and > overprotective. I need to tell them to let me live my life. Let me make some > of my own desisions and if i make a mistake not to rub it in my face. I need > to learn to live or whats the point of even exsisting. From their > perspective i have charge adn they need to protect me from the world. > However they have scared away anyone that ever tried to be a friend to me. I > could only be friends with people that they approved. If anyone did anything > that contradicted this person, this person would thregten them with real > threghts to the point that people are truely afraid for their own safty. I > am afraid to go near this person's city cause maby they will be watching me > or maby someone they know will say they saw me go here or there. it scares > me cause I want to say why is it their business where i go but they question > every move i make. Im afraid to ansere my phone because they may call. when > i talk to them they always want to know how my relationship with my dad is. > like they will jump on any problem i may be having. I dont know how to > properly deal with a problem cause I always hear this person mocking me. I > have so much rage i could just bash myself to death if i could to end this > misery but im afraid that if i died they would come to my funeral be all > touchy feely with my body and still harass my dad and his family. I have to > stay to protect them. I want to move to another country to get away from > this person. But thats a dumb reason to leave canada. I am truely afraid of > this person. I dont know what to do and they called and left a message on my > phone again today and i dont know what to do any more. > > > Chantelle > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 Chantelle- I've sent you an email to hopefully assist with writing your letter. Hope all goes well Kasee > > Well I need to write a leter. this one to a family member. I cant speak to > them face to face but i need to tell them the are overbearing and > overprotective. I need to tell them to let me live my life. Let me make some > of my own desisions and if i make a mistake not to rub it in my face. I need > to learn to live or whats the point of even exsisting. From their > perspective i have charge adn they need to protect me from the world. > However they have scared away anyone that ever tried to be a friend to me. I > could only be friends with people that they approved. If anyone did anything > that contradicted this person, this person would thregten them with real > threghts to the point that people are truely afraid for their own safty. I > am afraid to go near this person's city cause maby they will be watching me > or maby someone they know will say they saw me go here or there. it scares > me cause I want to say why is it their business where i go but they question > every move i make. Im afraid to ansere my phone because they may call. when > i talk to them they always want to know how my relationship with my dad is. > like they will jump on any problem i may be having. I dont know how to > properly deal with a problem cause I always hear this person mocking me. I > have so much rage i could just bash myself to death if i could to end this > misery but im afraid that if i died they would come to my funeral be all > touchy feely with my body and still harass my dad and his family. I have to > stay to protect them. I want to move to another country to get away from > this person. But thats a dumb reason to leave canada. I am truely afraid of > this person. I dont know what to do and they called and left a message on my > phone again today and i dont know what to do any more. > > > Chantelle > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 Chantelle This is . I am JD's dad. I understand your situation. I do not know what family member is doing this but Mandy ( my wife ) and I live with this situation on a daily basis. My wife's mother is a control person and is also very domineering and overbearing and basically thinks that she has the power to do all and control all. My mother also has these tendencies but she is beginning to learn a little more than my mother in law. Here is my best advice: The control factor has to be broken at somewhere down the line. Yes the family member loves you dearly but you are your own person. You have fought through so much with having CHARGE syndrome all your life that you have proven that you are a fighter and can overcome any obstacle placed before you. My best experience is the only one that has control of our lives is God. We as humans want so much to control but we have to realize that when we place our lives in the hands of a God who unconditionally loves us no matter what or who we are or what we have done then He can ultimately guide us no matter what we face. Chantelle, you have been made in the image of God and He loves you. You are your own person and very capable of making decisions in your life. Are you going to make mistakes when making those decisions? Sure you are, we all do. Tell that person that you can do it and you want to be your own person. Break the control line. If you have too and this is very hard, you may have to separate yourself from that person. Set your boundaries and limits with that person. No one and I mean no one should have to go through life being belittled, dominated and controlled especially if they are a grown person and very capable of living life to its fullest. The key is the control line has to be broken somewhere. Most people who have grown up controlled only know that factor and they learn a system and tend to control when they are grown. The line has to be broken. We are praying for you and if there is anything and I mean anything we can do to help you we will. , , Olivia, ( 8 months) and JD (Charged 8 months) Bowdoin need some advice. Well I need to write a leter. this one to a family member. I cant speak to them face to face but i need to tell them the are overbearing and overprotective. I need to tell them to let me live my life. Let me make some of my own desisions and if i make a mistake not to rub it in my face. I need to learn to live or whats the point of even exsisting. From their perspective i have charge adn they need to protect me from the world. However they have scared away anyone that ever tried to be a friend to me. I could only be friends with people that they approved. If anyone did anything that contradicted this person, this person would thregten them with real threghts to the point that people are truely afraid for their own safty. I am afraid to go near this person's city cause maby they will be watching me or maby someone they know will say they saw me go here or there. it scares me cause I want to say why is it their business where i go but they question every move i make. Im afraid to ansere my phone because they may call. when i talk to them they always want to know how my relationship with my dad is. like they will jump on any problem i may be having. I dont know how to properly deal with a problem cause I always hear this person mocking me. I have so much rage i could just bash myself to death if i could to end this misery but im afraid that if i died they would come to my funeral be all touchy feely with my body and still harass my dad and his family. I have to stay to protect them. I want to move to another country to get away from this person. But thats a dumb reason to leave canada. I am truely afraid of this person. I dont know what to do and they called and left a message on my phone again today and i dont know what to do any more. Chantelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 Chantelle This is . I am JD's dad. I understand your situation. I do not know what family member is doing this but Mandy ( my wife ) and I live with this situation on a daily basis. My wife's mother is a control person and is also very domineering and overbearing and basically thinks that she has the power to do all and control all. My mother also has these tendencies but she is beginning to learn a little more than my mother in law. Here is my best advice: The control factor has to be broken at somewhere down the line. Yes the family member loves you dearly but you are your own person. You have fought through so much with having CHARGE syndrome all your life that you have proven that you are a fighter and can overcome any obstacle placed before you. My best experience is the only one that has control of our lives is God. We as humans want so much to control but we have to realize that when we place our lives in the hands of a God who unconditionally loves us no matter what or who we are or what we have done then He can ultimately guide us no matter what we face. Chantelle, you have been made in the image of God and He loves you. You are your own person and very capable of making decisions in your life. Are you going to make mistakes when making those decisions? Sure you are, we all do. Tell that person that you can do it and you want to be your own person. Break the control line. If you have too and this is very hard, you may have to separate yourself from that person. Set your boundaries and limits with that person. No one and I mean no one should have to go through life being belittled, dominated and controlled especially if they are a grown person and very capable of living life to its fullest. The key is the control line has to be broken somewhere. Most people who have grown up controlled only know that factor and they learn a system and tend to control when they are grown. The line has to be broken. We are praying for you and if there is anything and I mean anything we can do to help you we will. , , Olivia, ( 8 months) and JD (Charged 8 months) Bowdoin need some advice. Well I need to write a leter. this one to a family member. I cant speak to them face to face but i need to tell them the are overbearing and overprotective. I need to tell them to let me live my life. Let me make some of my own desisions and if i make a mistake not to rub it in my face. I need to learn to live or whats the point of even exsisting. From their perspective i have charge adn they need to protect me from the world. However they have scared away anyone that ever tried to be a friend to me. I could only be friends with people that they approved. If anyone did anything that contradicted this person, this person would thregten them with real threghts to the point that people are truely afraid for their own safty. I am afraid to go near this person's city cause maby they will be watching me or maby someone they know will say they saw me go here or there. it scares me cause I want to say why is it their business where i go but they question every move i make. Im afraid to ansere my phone because they may call. when i talk to them they always want to know how my relationship with my dad is. like they will jump on any problem i may be having. I dont know how to properly deal with a problem cause I always hear this person mocking me. I have so much rage i could just bash myself to death if i could to end this misery but im afraid that if i died they would come to my funeral be all touchy feely with my body and still harass my dad and his family. I have to stay to protect them. I want to move to another country to get away from this person. But thats a dumb reason to leave canada. I am truely afraid of this person. I dont know what to do and they called and left a message on my phone again today and i dont know what to do any more. Chantelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 Chantelle This is . I am JD's dad. I understand your situation. I do not know what family member is doing this but Mandy ( my wife ) and I live with this situation on a daily basis. My wife's mother is a control person and is also very domineering and overbearing and basically thinks that she has the power to do all and control all. My mother also has these tendencies but she is beginning to learn a little more than my mother in law. Here is my best advice: The control factor has to be broken at somewhere down the line. Yes the family member loves you dearly but you are your own person. You have fought through so much with having CHARGE syndrome all your life that you have proven that you are a fighter and can overcome any obstacle placed before you. My best experience is the only one that has control of our lives is God. We as humans want so much to control but we have to realize that when we place our lives in the hands of a God who unconditionally loves us no matter what or who we are or what we have done then He can ultimately guide us no matter what we face. Chantelle, you have been made in the image of God and He loves you. You are your own person and very capable of making decisions in your life. Are you going to make mistakes when making those decisions? Sure you are, we all do. Tell that person that you can do it and you want to be your own person. Break the control line. If you have too and this is very hard, you may have to separate yourself from that person. Set your boundaries and limits with that person. No one and I mean no one should have to go through life being belittled, dominated and controlled especially if they are a grown person and very capable of living life to its fullest. The key is the control line has to be broken somewhere. Most people who have grown up controlled only know that factor and they learn a system and tend to control when they are grown. The line has to be broken. We are praying for you and if there is anything and I mean anything we can do to help you we will. , , Olivia, ( 8 months) and JD (Charged 8 months) Bowdoin need some advice. Well I need to write a leter. this one to a family member. I cant speak to them face to face but i need to tell them the are overbearing and overprotective. I need to tell them to let me live my life. Let me make some of my own desisions and if i make a mistake not to rub it in my face. I need to learn to live or whats the point of even exsisting. From their perspective i have charge adn they need to protect me from the world. However they have scared away anyone that ever tried to be a friend to me. I could only be friends with people that they approved. If anyone did anything that contradicted this person, this person would thregten them with real threghts to the point that people are truely afraid for their own safty. I am afraid to go near this person's city cause maby they will be watching me or maby someone they know will say they saw me go here or there. it scares me cause I want to say why is it their business where i go but they question every move i make. Im afraid to ansere my phone because they may call. when i talk to them they always want to know how my relationship with my dad is. like they will jump on any problem i may be having. I dont know how to properly deal with a problem cause I always hear this person mocking me. I have so much rage i could just bash myself to death if i could to end this misery but im afraid that if i died they would come to my funeral be all touchy feely with my body and still harass my dad and his family. I have to stay to protect them. I want to move to another country to get away from this person. But thats a dumb reason to leave canada. I am truely afraid of this person. I dont know what to do and they called and left a message on my phone again today and i dont know what to do any more. Chantelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 Ellen, Yes, it could be OCD in a way-if the person doing it is obsessing. I understand what you are saying. But I think this time it has to do more with respect than anything else. All people want and deserve respect. Then again when you are a parent who has a child with disabilities your life is about control. You have to control the meds, you have to control the house, you have to control the germs, you have to make decisions... Then the child grows up. Slowly parents are supposed to step back and relinquish that control. That's harder to do than you would think. It's easier to keep your child safe and make decisions for them. But that doesn't help the child. They need choices and to make whatever decisions they can make be it what to do, where to go, etc. That doesn't mean the parent should stand back always or forever. We keep having to jump in to help our children. My Mom still jumps in to help me and I feel so old! And Ellen, there are some parents out there who just don't get it and are mean. Sometimes words hurt much more than anything physical. And those wounds take a long time to heal. But they can heal just the same. Chantelle just needs to look in the mirror and decide if she likes herself. If the answer is yes then no one can take that away-NO ONE! We all should do the same. And if we don't like what we see, then get a better mirror!!!!!!! Bonnie, Mom to Kris 23, Patty CHARGE 21 and wife to Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 Ellen, Yes, it could be OCD in a way-if the person doing it is obsessing. I understand what you are saying. But I think this time it has to do more with respect than anything else. All people want and deserve respect. Then again when you are a parent who has a child with disabilities your life is about control. You have to control the meds, you have to control the house, you have to control the germs, you have to make decisions... Then the child grows up. Slowly parents are supposed to step back and relinquish that control. That's harder to do than you would think. It's easier to keep your child safe and make decisions for them. But that doesn't help the child. They need choices and to make whatever decisions they can make be it what to do, where to go, etc. That doesn't mean the parent should stand back always or forever. We keep having to jump in to help our children. My Mom still jumps in to help me and I feel so old! And Ellen, there are some parents out there who just don't get it and are mean. Sometimes words hurt much more than anything physical. And those wounds take a long time to heal. But they can heal just the same. Chantelle just needs to look in the mirror and decide if she likes herself. If the answer is yes then no one can take that away-NO ONE! We all should do the same. And if we don't like what we see, then get a better mirror!!!!!!! Bonnie, Mom to Kris 23, Patty CHARGE 21 and wife to Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2006 Report Share Posted May 5, 2006 I need a better mirror > > Ellen, > And if we don't like what we see, then get a better mirror!!!!!!! > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2006 Report Share Posted May 5, 2006 I need a better mirror > > Ellen, > And if we don't like what we see, then get a better mirror!!!!!!! > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2006 Report Share Posted May 5, 2006 I need a better mirror > > Ellen, > And if we don't like what we see, then get a better mirror!!!!!!! > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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