Guest guest Posted February 17, 2006 Report Share Posted February 17, 2006 I laughed until I cried... I am so ashamed of myself... of course having been the brunt of every blond joke ever written I am entitled..... Danny wrote: I have been waiting for something like that to appear. : ) " Bledsoe, DO " wrote: Due to the shooting of an Attorney by Vice President Cheney, there needs to be some clarification of the rules and regulations. Here are the new regulations: 1. Any person with a valid State hunting license may harvest attorneys. 2. The taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited. 3. The killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove road kill to roadside, then proceed to nearest car wash. 4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a helicopter or other aircraft. 5. It shall be unlawful to shout, " whiplash, " " ambulance! " or, " Free Perrier! " for the purposes of trapping attorneys. 6. It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills, prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys. 7. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of whorehouses, health spas, ambulances, or hospitals. 8. If an attorney is elected to government office, there will be a $500 bounty on the pelt. 9. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for rabies, vermin and contagious diseases. 10. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female law clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purposes of hunting attorneys. Attorney Bag Limits: Yellow-Bellied Sidewinder = 5 Hairless Civil Libertarian = 7 Skinny-Assed Ambulance Chaser = 12 Horse or Cattle Rustler Defender = 20 Silver-Tongued Murderer Defender = 50 Jack-Legged Divorce Litigator = No limit Honest Attorney = Extinct GOOD HUNTING! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 2006 Report Share Posted February 17, 2006 I laughed until I cried... I am so ashamed of myself... of course having been the brunt of every blond joke ever written I am entitled..... Danny wrote: I have been waiting for something like that to appear. : ) " Bledsoe, DO " wrote: Due to the shooting of an Attorney by Vice President Cheney, there needs to be some clarification of the rules and regulations. Here are the new regulations: 1. Any person with a valid State hunting license may harvest attorneys. 2. The taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited. 3. The killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove road kill to roadside, then proceed to nearest car wash. 4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a helicopter or other aircraft. 5. It shall be unlawful to shout, " whiplash, " " ambulance! " or, " Free Perrier! " for the purposes of trapping attorneys. 6. It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills, prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys. 7. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of whorehouses, health spas, ambulances, or hospitals. 8. If an attorney is elected to government office, there will be a $500 bounty on the pelt. 9. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for rabies, vermin and contagious diseases. 10. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female law clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purposes of hunting attorneys. Attorney Bag Limits: Yellow-Bellied Sidewinder = 5 Hairless Civil Libertarian = 7 Skinny-Assed Ambulance Chaser = 12 Horse or Cattle Rustler Defender = 20 Silver-Tongued Murderer Defender = 50 Jack-Legged Divorce Litigator = No limit Honest Attorney = Extinct GOOD HUNTING! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 2006 Report Share Posted February 17, 2006 I understand the jury has reached a verdict.... What say ye? Todd wrote: Having practiced law for 13 years, and having been a Paramedic since 1982, I believe that I am qualified to observe that VP Chaney should have been charged with a crime. While it is true that Chaney shot a lawyer, which many think should be a valid shooting sport. Most accounts indicate that Chaney's ambulance was on the scene. Every hunter knows that it is illegal to hunt game in a baited field. Hence Chaney's crime. Your honor, the prosecution rests! --- Danny wrote: > I have been waiting for something like that to > appear. > > : ) > > " Bledsoe, DO " wrote: > Due to the shooting of an Attorney by Vice > President Cheney, there needs to > be some clarification of the rules and regulations. > Here are the new > regulations: > > 1. Any person with a valid State hunting license may > harvest attorneys. > > 2. The taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls > is permitted. The use > of currency as bait is prohibited. > > 3. The killing of attorneys with a vehicle is > prohibited. If > accidentally struck, remove road kill to roadside, > then proceed to > nearest car wash. > > 4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest > attorneys from a helicopter > or other aircraft. > > 5. It shall be unlawful to shout, " whiplash, " > " ambulance! " or, " Free > Perrier! " for the purposes of trapping attorneys. > > 6. It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, > $100 bills, > prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract > attorneys. > > 7. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 > yards of > whorehouses, health spas, ambulances, or hospitals. > > 8. If an attorney is elected to government office, > there will be a $500 > bounty on the pelt. > > 9. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state > health department > inspection for rabies, vermin and contagious > diseases. > > 10. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise > himself as a reporter, > drug dealer, pimp, female law clerk, sheep, accident > victim, bookie, or > tax accountant for the purposes of hunting > attorneys. > > Attorney Bag Limits: > > Yellow-Bellied Sidewinder = 5 > Hairless Civil Libertarian = 7 > Skinny-Assed Ambulance Chaser = 12 > Horse or Cattle Rustler Defender = 20 > Silver-Tongued Murderer Defender = 50 > Jack-Legged Divorce Litigator = No limit > Honest Attorney = Extinct > > GOOD HUNTING! > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 2006 Report Share Posted February 17, 2006 I understand the jury has reached a verdict.... What say ye? Todd wrote: Having practiced law for 13 years, and having been a Paramedic since 1982, I believe that I am qualified to observe that VP Chaney should have been charged with a crime. While it is true that Chaney shot a lawyer, which many think should be a valid shooting sport. Most accounts indicate that Chaney's ambulance was on the scene. Every hunter knows that it is illegal to hunt game in a baited field. Hence Chaney's crime. Your honor, the prosecution rests! --- Danny wrote: > I have been waiting for something like that to > appear. > > : ) > > " Bledsoe, DO " wrote: > Due to the shooting of an Attorney by Vice > President Cheney, there needs to > be some clarification of the rules and regulations. > Here are the new > regulations: > > 1. Any person with a valid State hunting license may > harvest attorneys. > > 2. The taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls > is permitted. The use > of currency as bait is prohibited. > > 3. The killing of attorneys with a vehicle is > prohibited. If > accidentally struck, remove road kill to roadside, > then proceed to > nearest car wash. > > 4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest > attorneys from a helicopter > or other aircraft. > > 5. It shall be unlawful to shout, " whiplash, " > " ambulance! " or, " Free > Perrier! " for the purposes of trapping attorneys. > > 6. It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, > $100 bills, > prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract > attorneys. > > 7. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 > yards of > whorehouses, health spas, ambulances, or hospitals. > > 8. If an attorney is elected to government office, > there will be a $500 > bounty on the pelt. > > 9. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state > health department > inspection for rabies, vermin and contagious > diseases. > > 10. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise > himself as a reporter, > drug dealer, pimp, female law clerk, sheep, accident > victim, bookie, or > tax accountant for the purposes of hunting > attorneys. > > Attorney Bag Limits: > > Yellow-Bellied Sidewinder = 5 > Hairless Civil Libertarian = 7 > Skinny-Assed Ambulance Chaser = 12 > Horse or Cattle Rustler Defender = 20 > Silver-Tongued Murderer Defender = 50 > Jack-Legged Divorce Litigator = No limit > Honest Attorney = Extinct > > GOOD HUNTING! > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 2006 Report Share Posted February 17, 2006 In the matter of the State of Texas vs. Dick Chaney, we the jury find the defendant not guilty. Applying an age-old property law doctrine, we find that Mr. Chaney was justified in abating a nuisance. --- " E. Tate " wrote: > I understand the jury has reached a verdict.... > > What say ye? > > > > Todd wrote: > Having practiced law for 13 years, and having been > a > Paramedic since 1982, I believe that I am qualified > to > observe that VP Chaney should have been charged with > a > crime. > > While it is true that Chaney shot a lawyer, which > many > think should be a valid shooting sport. Most > accounts > indicate that Chaney's ambulance was on the scene. > Every hunter knows that it is illegal to hunt game > in > a baited field. Hence Chaney's crime. > > Your honor, the prosecution rests! > > > > --- Danny wrote: > > > I have been waiting for something like that to > > appear. > > > > : ) > > > > " Bledsoe, DO " > wrote: > > Due to the shooting of an Attorney by Vice > > President Cheney, there needs to > > be some clarification of the rules and > regulations. > > Here are the new > > regulations: > > > > 1. Any person with a valid State hunting license > may > > harvest attorneys. > > > > 2. The taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls > > is permitted. The use > > of currency as bait is prohibited. > > > > 3. The killing of attorneys with a vehicle is > > prohibited. If > > accidentally struck, remove road kill to roadside, > > then proceed to > > nearest car wash. > > > > 4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest > > attorneys from a helicopter > > or other aircraft. > > > > 5. It shall be unlawful to shout, " whiplash, " > > " ambulance! " or, " Free > > Perrier! " for the purposes of trapping attorneys. > > > > 6. It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young > boys, > > $100 bills, > > prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract > > attorneys. > > > > 7. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within > 200 > > yards of > > whorehouses, health spas, ambulances, or > hospitals. > > > > 8. If an attorney is elected to government office, > > there will be a $500 > > bounty on the pelt. > > > > 9. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state > > health department > > inspection for rabies, vermin and contagious > > diseases. > > > > 10. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise > > himself as a reporter, > > drug dealer, pimp, female law clerk, sheep, > accident > > victim, bookie, or > > tax accountant for the purposes of hunting > > attorneys. > > > > Attorney Bag Limits: > > > > Yellow-Bellied Sidewinder = 5 > > Hairless Civil Libertarian = 7 > > Skinny-Assed Ambulance Chaser = 12 > > Horse or Cattle Rustler Defender = 20 > > Silver-Tongued Murderer Defender = 50 > > Jack-Legged Divorce Litigator = No limit > > Honest Attorney = Extinct > > > > GOOD HUNTING! > > > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > > removed] > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 2006 Report Share Posted February 17, 2006 In the matter of the State of Texas vs. Dick Chaney, we the jury find the defendant not guilty. Applying an age-old property law doctrine, we find that Mr. Chaney was justified in abating a nuisance. --- " E. Tate " wrote: > I understand the jury has reached a verdict.... > > What say ye? > > > > Todd wrote: > Having practiced law for 13 years, and having been > a > Paramedic since 1982, I believe that I am qualified > to > observe that VP Chaney should have been charged with > a > crime. > > While it is true that Chaney shot a lawyer, which > many > think should be a valid shooting sport. Most > accounts > indicate that Chaney's ambulance was on the scene. > Every hunter knows that it is illegal to hunt game > in > a baited field. Hence Chaney's crime. > > Your honor, the prosecution rests! > > > > --- Danny wrote: > > > I have been waiting for something like that to > > appear. > > > > : ) > > > > " Bledsoe, DO " > wrote: > > Due to the shooting of an Attorney by Vice > > President Cheney, there needs to > > be some clarification of the rules and > regulations. > > Here are the new > > regulations: > > > > 1. Any person with a valid State hunting license > may > > harvest attorneys. > > > > 2. The taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls > > is permitted. The use > > of currency as bait is prohibited. > > > > 3. The killing of attorneys with a vehicle is > > prohibited. If > > accidentally struck, remove road kill to roadside, > > then proceed to > > nearest car wash. > > > > 4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest > > attorneys from a helicopter > > or other aircraft. > > > > 5. It shall be unlawful to shout, " whiplash, " > > " ambulance! " or, " Free > > Perrier! " for the purposes of trapping attorneys. > > > > 6. It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young > boys, > > $100 bills, > > prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract > > attorneys. > > > > 7. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within > 200 > > yards of > > whorehouses, health spas, ambulances, or > hospitals. > > > > 8. If an attorney is elected to government office, > > there will be a $500 > > bounty on the pelt. > > > > 9. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state > > health department > > inspection for rabies, vermin and contagious > > diseases. > > > > 10. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise > > himself as a reporter, > > drug dealer, pimp, female law clerk, sheep, > accident > > victim, bookie, or > > tax accountant for the purposes of hunting > > attorneys. > > > > Attorney Bag Limits: > > > > Yellow-Bellied Sidewinder = 5 > > Hairless Civil Libertarian = 7 > > Skinny-Assed Ambulance Chaser = 12 > > Horse or Cattle Rustler Defender = 20 > > Silver-Tongued Murderer Defender = 50 > > Jack-Legged Divorce Litigator = No limit > > Honest Attorney = Extinct > > > > GOOD HUNTING! > > > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > > removed] > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 2006 Report Share Posted February 17, 2006 In the matter of the State of Texas vs. Dick Chaney, we the jury find the defendant not guilty. Applying an age-old property law doctrine, we find that Mr. Chaney was justified in abating a nuisance. --- " E. Tate " wrote: > I understand the jury has reached a verdict.... > > What say ye? > > > > Todd wrote: > Having practiced law for 13 years, and having been > a > Paramedic since 1982, I believe that I am qualified > to > observe that VP Chaney should have been charged with > a > crime. > > While it is true that Chaney shot a lawyer, which > many > think should be a valid shooting sport. Most > accounts > indicate that Chaney's ambulance was on the scene. > Every hunter knows that it is illegal to hunt game > in > a baited field. Hence Chaney's crime. > > Your honor, the prosecution rests! > > > > --- Danny wrote: > > > I have been waiting for something like that to > > appear. > > > > : ) > > > > " Bledsoe, DO " > wrote: > > Due to the shooting of an Attorney by Vice > > President Cheney, there needs to > > be some clarification of the rules and > regulations. > > Here are the new > > regulations: > > > > 1. Any person with a valid State hunting license > may > > harvest attorneys. > > > > 2. The taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls > > is permitted. The use > > of currency as bait is prohibited. > > > > 3. The killing of attorneys with a vehicle is > > prohibited. If > > accidentally struck, remove road kill to roadside, > > then proceed to > > nearest car wash. > > > > 4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest > > attorneys from a helicopter > > or other aircraft. > > > > 5. It shall be unlawful to shout, " whiplash, " > > " ambulance! " or, " Free > > Perrier! " for the purposes of trapping attorneys. > > > > 6. It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young > boys, > > $100 bills, > > prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract > > attorneys. > > > > 7. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within > 200 > > yards of > > whorehouses, health spas, ambulances, or > hospitals. > > > > 8. If an attorney is elected to government office, > > there will be a $500 > > bounty on the pelt. > > > > 9. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state > > health department > > inspection for rabies, vermin and contagious > > diseases. > > > > 10. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise > > himself as a reporter, > > drug dealer, pimp, female law clerk, sheep, > accident > > victim, bookie, or > > tax accountant for the purposes of hunting > > attorneys. > > > > Attorney Bag Limits: > > > > Yellow-Bellied Sidewinder = 5 > > Hairless Civil Libertarian = 7 > > Skinny-Assed Ambulance Chaser = 12 > > Horse or Cattle Rustler Defender = 20 > > Silver-Tongued Murderer Defender = 50 > > Jack-Legged Divorce Litigator = No limit > > Honest Attorney = Extinct > > > > GOOD HUNTING! > > > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > > removed] > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 2006 Report Share Posted February 17, 2006 Nice!!!! Re: New Texas Parks and Wildlife Rules > In the matter of the State of Texas vs. Dick Chaney, > we the jury find the defendant not guilty. Applying > an age-old property law doctrine, we find that Mr. > Chaney was justified in abating a nuisance. > > --- " E. Tate " wrote: > >> I understand the jury has reached a verdict.... >> >> What say ye? >> >> >> >> Todd wrote: >> Having practiced law for 13 years, and having been >> a >> Paramedic since 1982, I believe that I am qualified >> to >> observe that VP Chaney should have been charged with >> a >> crime. >> >> While it is true that Chaney shot a lawyer, which >> many >> think should be a valid shooting sport. Most >> accounts >> indicate that Chaney's ambulance was on the scene. >> Every hunter knows that it is illegal to hunt game >> in >> a baited field. Hence Chaney's crime. >> >> Your honor, the prosecution rests! >> >> >> >> --- Danny wrote: >> >> > I have been waiting for something like that to >> > appear. >> > >> > : ) >> > >> > " Bledsoe, DO " >> wrote: >> > Due to the shooting of an Attorney by Vice >> > President Cheney, there needs to >> > be some clarification of the rules and >> regulations. >> > Here are the new >> > regulations: >> > >> > 1. Any person with a valid State hunting license >> may >> > harvest attorneys. >> > >> > 2. The taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls >> > is permitted. The use >> > of currency as bait is prohibited. >> > >> > 3. The killing of attorneys with a vehicle is >> > prohibited. If >> > accidentally struck, remove road kill to roadside, >> > then proceed to >> > nearest car wash. >> > >> > 4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest >> > attorneys from a helicopter >> > or other aircraft. >> > >> > 5. It shall be unlawful to shout, " whiplash, " >> > " ambulance! " or, " Free >> > Perrier! " for the purposes of trapping attorneys. >> > >> > 6. It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young >> boys, >> > $100 bills, >> > prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract >> > attorneys. >> > >> > 7. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within >> 200 >> > yards of >> > whorehouses, health spas, ambulances, or >> hospitals. >> > >> > 8. If an attorney is elected to government office, >> > there will be a $500 >> > bounty on the pelt. >> > >> > 9. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state >> > health department >> > inspection for rabies, vermin and contagious >> > diseases. >> > >> > 10. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise >> > himself as a reporter, >> > drug dealer, pimp, female law clerk, sheep, >> accident >> > victim, bookie, or >> > tax accountant for the purposes of hunting >> > attorneys. >> > >> > Attorney Bag Limits: >> > >> > Yellow-Bellied Sidewinder = 5 >> > Hairless Civil Libertarian = 7 >> > Skinny-Assed Ambulance Chaser = 12 >> > Horse or Cattle Rustler Defender = 20 >> > Silver-Tongued Murderer Defender = 50 >> > Jack-Legged Divorce Litigator = No limit >> > Honest Attorney = Extinct >> > >> > GOOD HUNTING! >> > >> > >> > >> > [Non-text portions of this message have been >> > removed] >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 2006 Report Share Posted February 17, 2006 Nice!!!! Re: New Texas Parks and Wildlife Rules > In the matter of the State of Texas vs. Dick Chaney, > we the jury find the defendant not guilty. Applying > an age-old property law doctrine, we find that Mr. > Chaney was justified in abating a nuisance. > > --- " E. Tate " wrote: > >> I understand the jury has reached a verdict.... >> >> What say ye? >> >> >> >> Todd wrote: >> Having practiced law for 13 years, and having been >> a >> Paramedic since 1982, I believe that I am qualified >> to >> observe that VP Chaney should have been charged with >> a >> crime. >> >> While it is true that Chaney shot a lawyer, which >> many >> think should be a valid shooting sport. Most >> accounts >> indicate that Chaney's ambulance was on the scene. >> Every hunter knows that it is illegal to hunt game >> in >> a baited field. Hence Chaney's crime. >> >> Your honor, the prosecution rests! >> >> >> >> --- Danny wrote: >> >> > I have been waiting for something like that to >> > appear. >> > >> > : ) >> > >> > " Bledsoe, DO " >> wrote: >> > Due to the shooting of an Attorney by Vice >> > President Cheney, there needs to >> > be some clarification of the rules and >> regulations. >> > Here are the new >> > regulations: >> > >> > 1. Any person with a valid State hunting license >> may >> > harvest attorneys. >> > >> > 2. The taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls >> > is permitted. The use >> > of currency as bait is prohibited. >> > >> > 3. The killing of attorneys with a vehicle is >> > prohibited. If >> > accidentally struck, remove road kill to roadside, >> > then proceed to >> > nearest car wash. >> > >> > 4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest >> > attorneys from a helicopter >> > or other aircraft. >> > >> > 5. It shall be unlawful to shout, " whiplash, " >> > " ambulance! " or, " Free >> > Perrier! " for the purposes of trapping attorneys. >> > >> > 6. It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young >> boys, >> > $100 bills, >> > prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract >> > attorneys. >> > >> > 7. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within >> 200 >> > yards of >> > whorehouses, health spas, ambulances, or >> hospitals. >> > >> > 8. If an attorney is elected to government office, >> > there will be a $500 >> > bounty on the pelt. >> > >> > 9. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state >> > health department >> > inspection for rabies, vermin and contagious >> > diseases. >> > >> > 10. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise >> > himself as a reporter, >> > drug dealer, pimp, female law clerk, sheep, >> accident >> > victim, bookie, or >> > tax accountant for the purposes of hunting >> > attorneys. >> > >> > Attorney Bag Limits: >> > >> > Yellow-Bellied Sidewinder = 5 >> > Hairless Civil Libertarian = 7 >> > Skinny-Assed Ambulance Chaser = 12 >> > Horse or Cattle Rustler Defender = 20 >> > Silver-Tongued Murderer Defender = 50 >> > Jack-Legged Divorce Litigator = No limit >> > Honest Attorney = Extinct >> > >> > GOOD HUNTING! >> > >> > >> > >> > [Non-text portions of this message have been >> > removed] >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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