Re: My Story (long message)

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Dear Leah,

Wow, you sure are a strong woman. I underwent a hemi thyroidectomy on Dec

31st for removing a suspicious solitary nodule. The doctor did not send it

for a frozen section during the operation and so when the diagnosis came

back as papillary carcinoma, I had to undergo another operation 2 weeks

later for removing the rest of the gland, incidentally there was a small 3

mm cancerous growth in that side as well. All this has been emotionally very

overwhelming to me, I am 29 with a 1 and half year old son. I keep wishing

my life were the way it was before this whole thing happened, i.e. normal. I

have tried to keep a positive approach. I am a homemaker, used to work

before marriage. Now I think I should work outside the home too so that I

may not delve too much on what happened. I dont mind the treatment right

now, I am scared of recurrence. Really dont want to die of this cancer. Your

email had given me a lot of strength. I shall be undergoing RAI scan in

another 3 weeks time. I hope I have not upset any protocol by writing back

to you.

Thank you very much.

>

>Reply-To: Thyca

>To: Thyca

>Subject: My Story (long message)

>Date: Fri, 24 Jan 2003 12:15:37 -0600

>

>My Name is Leah. I've been on this group for the last couple of weeks and

>have given bits and pieces of my information, but thought maybe I could

>contribute something by sharing my full story. I have found this group to

>be a helpful resource and appreciate knowing there is a group of people to

>get feedback from.

>

>I had an enlarged gland on the left side of my neck since having mono and

>strep throat in 1986. I'm not sure at what point I started getting

>concerned about a growth (upper left side of my neck under my chin), but

>started thinking I should go to the doctor about a year ago (I tend to

>avoid

>going to doctors and female doctors that take new patients are hard to find

>in Winnipeg). Anyhow, I found a doctor in April, had a physical in May and

>she sent me to an Specialist June 12 to check out the cyst on my neck.

>This

>doctor drew some fluids from it to be tested. At the time the feeling was

>that this was probably a congenital benign cyst. She recommended having it

>removed anyhow, out of concern that if it burst it could damage nerves in

>the area. I held off until October 4th to have it removed because of

>summer

>travel and having to move at the end of September.

>

>I was put under a General Anesthetic to have the cyst removed. When I was

>in recovery my doctor came and told me she was concerned about the colour

>of

>the cyst and thought it was thyroid cancer. She told me right away that

>there was a very high survival rate from this type of cancer.

>

>I didn't get upset about this then or when she confirmed it with me on

>Otober 23. In between I did a lot of reading on the internet and had a

>pretty good understanding of what she was explaining to me. She was

>surprised that I didn't have much of a reaction to her news. I was told I

>had Papillary Thyroid Cancer and would need to have a TT and because the

>cyst was so far removed from my Thyroid Glands, all the lymph nodes on the

>left side of my neck would need to be removed. (My chiropractor thinks I

>may

>have been more susceptible to this type of cancer because I have had a

>couple of whiplash injuries that damaged the nerves that support the

>Thyroid

>Gland).

>

>The attitude I chose at this time and that I choose to take with any

>adversity is to embrace it as an opportunity to learn and grow as a person.

>In some ways to look at it like giving someone that's mad at you a hug.

>It's hard for them to stay mad. I will talk about this a bit more after.

>

>Anyhow, on Oct 23 in the evening I was making light of this with my sister,

>Lydia. She said " Leah, this is really serious, you know! " My reply was

> " What, all that's going to happen is that they are going to slit my throat,

>rip out my thyroid glands and my lymph nodes and sew me back up. It's not

>like I'm having open heart surgery. " She didn't really see the humour in

>that. I felt bad later for being so graphic with her.

>

>Another twist to this is that my brother has lymphoma, so this whole thing

>has been hard on my family. Having said that because I see what he is

>going

>through (he is very positive about his situation as well), I am grateful

>that of all the types of cancer I could have that this is what I am dealing

>with. I am not suggesting it is easy to go through, and I haven't

>experienced being hypo yet, but at least I am not going to die from this.

>My mom and my sister do enough emotionalizing for me anyhow, so I don't

>need

>to.

>

>My surgery was Nov 29. It took about 5 hours and I was in recovery for 3.

>My younger sister, Tammy, was the first person there when I woke up. I

>aked

>her previously to read to me while she visited but was not in the mood for

>that at the time (she did the next day). My sister, Lydia, stayed with me

>all night. At the time I didn't understand why, but I was very glad she

>did. Everytime I woke up, she jumped up and shoved ice in my mouth whether

>I needed it or not. She was pretty freaked out by the whole thing. I

>hardly slept that night. By the time my doctor came at 7:00am to check up

>on me, the hospital staff had moved me into a recliner chair because I

>couldn't get comfortable any other way. I stayed there until 1pm. I

>couldn't feed myself so I had to deal with my family shovelling food into

>my

>mouth faster than I could handle it. At least they were there. Overall,

>my

>hospital stay wasn't too bad.

>

>I had a moment of frustration a few days after the surgery when my nurse

>put

>the railing up on my bed and left the call button on the floor. She told

>me

>to go for another walk before noon, but I couldn't get out of bed. It took

>until 12:15pm for someone to come. I was ready to start throwing things, I

>was so mad.

>

>I got out of the hospital on Dec 2 (Monday) and stayed at my parent's place

>until Sunday. One of my brothers looked after my dog during that time. I

>couldn't even lift a jug of water until later that week. My parents wanted

>me to stay longer, but my brother said my dog was getting antsy missing me

>so I got upset and wanted to get her home.

>

>I had a lot of support, which I am also very grateful for. After I got

>home, a group of friends from my church started bring me food, so I didn't

>have to worry about cooking for a few weeks. My parents did my cleaning

>and

>laundry and a bit of other wqrk around my home. My doctor has been great,

>returning my phone calls herself for what seem to be trivial questions.

>She

>happened to see me at church a few weeks after my surgery and a few days

>later her nurse called to make sure I got into physiotherapy.

>

>My 2nd moment of frustration came 3 wks after surgery. It snowed the day

>before and I really wanted to drive for the 1st time. There was a pile of

>snow behind my car that I didn't think I could drive through. I phoned my

>dad almost crying that I wouldn't be able to come over as planned (they

>live

>about 25 min away). I did cry after I got off the phone. Then I got mad

>and went out and shovelled snow on my own (bad idea) got into my cold car

>(which doesn't have heat) and drove to my parent's place. I paid for it

>later.

>

>I went to a funeral for a friend of my parents 1 1/2 wks after my surgery.

>Every few minutes someone came up to me to say that they were praying for

>me. That was really nice. I did find it a bit amusing/annoying when

>people

>would ask how my treatments were going or comment surprised that I hadn't

>lost any hair. I would have tell them I wasn't having chemotherapy. Even

>my sister Lydia asked how long I would have to take the RAI treatments.

>She

>thought I would have to take them for a month or something(Like taking a

>pill every day). I told her if I did that I would probably be dead by the

>end of it. The people I am in business with have been very supportive as

>well. My team worked together to get me a promotion the week before my

>surgery. Overall, it has made it a lot easier, knowing I have so many good

>friends around me.

>

>I work at a temporary job during the day, and am self employed in the

>Financial Services industry, which I am doing part-time at the moment. I

>have been fortunate with both that I have a lot of flexibility and the

>support of other people to cover for me when I need it. This will become

>more important in the next several weeks. This is a very busy time for my

>business so it has been challenging juggling a job and business since I am

>still recovering from surgery.

>

>Physiotherapy has been very helpful, but it is a slow process which takes

>patience and tolerance of extra muscle pain. I keep heat on my neck and

>shoulder as much as possible. I have a neck wrap (rice bag) that I take to

>work with me. I wear that a lot during the day.

>

>I met with the Nuclear Medicine doctor (Oncologist?) in Jan 9 and have my

>RAI treatment booked for March 11. He was pretty good about answering my

>questions. Most of what he told me was relatively consistent with what I

>already new. He told me it was difficult to predict how I would deal with

>being off thyroid hormones, because everyone is different. Some people

>that

>you would think would get through it easy have a hard time and the reverse

>is also true. He told me the best thing was to be prepared. In business,

>we

>always say " Expect the best and prepare for the worst " . I felt important

>because a team of doctors had discussed my case that day. It was decided

>to

>do a low dose on Mar 11, scan on Mar 13 and high dose if needed that day as

>well. I go for another scan on Mar18.

>

>I was surprised that I didn't get in sooner for the treatment, but the time

>has been flying by. On Monday, I will be starting on Cytomel which I will

>take until Feb 24 and then off everything. The oncologist said I only need

>to do the LID for a week but I will do it for 2 wks thanks to your advise.

>I don't expect it to be that hard for me becuase I don't have anyone else

>to

>cook for and won't need to do anything drastically different than I do now.

>At the same time, I do plan on cooking food in advance and freezing it so I

>have stuff prepared. I picked up a bread maker from my parents yesterday.

>

>Anyhow, overall, maintaining a positive attitude has made things go a lot

>easier. I have really experienced the goodness of people. I have taken

>time to do a lot of positive reading. I am very interested in things that

>help me to stay in tune with my self from a spiritual standpoint and teach

>me to maintain a more positive energy level. I am in a leadership role

>with

>my business and so it is important for me to use this experience to be an

>inspiration to others, so that they can see that fighting through adversity

>is worth it. I guess it helps that I have been through a lot over the past

>several years with the death of one of my sisters, a marriage breakup and

>divorce, and learning a new business. In the months before going through

>this I had a bad roommate experience and was forced to move because my

>landlord sold my place. I found a place at the last minute and was signing

>the lease as my belongings were being packed up. This cancer is just

>another

> " thing " to deal with. So I have learned to deal with a lot of adversity.

>As

>tough as things can get, use this experience as a springboard for personal

>growth and become a better person as a result. Adversity teaches

>compassion, which is something that I sense from a lot of you on this list.

>

>I hope that someone benefits from my ramblings. Look forward to dialoguing

>with you some more.

>

>

>Leah

>

>P.S. It has been so cold here in Winnipeg the last week, I have considered

>it training for when I am hypo. By then the temperatures outside will be a

>little easier to deal with.

>

>

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