Re: Can Anyone Help Me Understand What THIS is About??!!

[Guest guest]

How about instead of not being home, you are in the bathroom? For a long,

long time. Don't answer if you don't want to. And yes, that is mega creepy

and yes, it also sounds very familiar. As far as " teaching " you, she is

mentally ill and who knows why she thinks what she does - I would try to set

it aside and not think about it. You won't be able to make rhyme or reason

of it because trying to make nadas ramblings make sense is like trying to

make sense out of. . . I dunno - to quote annie putting butter into watches.

>

>

> Nada has told me she was visited twice by her mother who passed YEARS ago

> when I was 2. While some of you probably believe it is delusional, since

> nada doesn't believe that we are visited by loved ones before we pass to

> ready us for our transition to the other side, I believe her and she has

> never said things like that before anyway about anyone. She said she was

> awake both times and Grandma came to her, told her she was 'going to be with

> her soon' and kissed her goodbye. While this COULD be for sympathy, given

> all her numerous medical problems and a weekly report from her one friend

> who still helps her (God bless THAT woman), I believe it. Nada told me

> yesterday she has no appetite, eats nothing and doesn't care. Her friend

> told me that she buys her food at the supermarket but when she puts it away,

> the food she brought the week before hasn't budged nor is there garbage from

> empty containers etc. for a week now. Nada as most of you know has

> uncontrolled diabetes (no insulin or anything else for it as she refuses to

> even test her blood); high blood pressure; heart trouble; has had transient

> strokes for the last year or so intermittently; severely underweight;

> feeble; can't walk or stand well AT all; keeps falling when she attempts to

> and vomits everything she eats the week before last (nada said it looked

> like dried coffee grounds and there was blood also) which is why she now

> says she nothing agrees with her so why try to eat anyway.

>

> Now here is what I do NOT understand. Nada has been telling me she 'hasn't

> got long' so she has to 'teach me to be perfect just like her' (Okay laugh

> now). She tells me never to show anger; never to disagree with anyone just

> 'go along'; to accept it if the landlord's plow man for instance doesn't

> plow the driveway even MINIMALLY because 'who cares - you shouldn't'; not to

> ask the landlord to fix have anything fixed her if it breaks and if someone

> abuses me, accept it and continue the relationship - no one is perfect but

> her so just live with it. I don't get it. WHY is she trying to teach me

> these things?! I know she's nuts but these make no sense to me. Not that I

> am going to do these things, but still, I would like to know why is she

> doing this?

>

> She has told me in the past that I am to live in her house for the rest of

> my life 'just as it is' and I am to throw out or donate all MY furniture and

> belongings and not change a thing down there. I 'can' bring my clothes and

> 'one cat' but must have the other 'done away with'. Of course I have very

> bad memories of that house with nada and my stepfather from hell who lived

> there even though I didn't and I have no intentions of moving down there and

> living in that house. It is going to be sold when she passes. She DID say

> she will 'haunt me' if I don't do it also. As crazy as it sounds, I have no

> doubt she will never give up that house and will haunt it regardless of who

> lives in it after I sell it and I'm afraid she will haunt me also. There ARE

> ways to get rid of negative spirits like hers so I know some things to do,

> but bottom line I do NOT want her around at all and who would. I know this

> part just reeks of control and living vicariously through me which I will

> not do, but this is still disturbing regardless.

>

> Sorry this is so long and I'm sure some of you think that spirits (ghosts)

> do not exist anyway, but we all have different beliefs and that is mine. I

> did watch an episode of " Paranormal State " in which an extremely abusive

> fada (I believe he was not only alcoholic but also BPD from what came out as

> his behaviors while he was alive from various relatives they interviewed),

> haunted his adult daughter - scratched her back until it bled; tried to

> choke her in her bed etc. and that was her reason for calling in the

> paranormal group (although she did not know it was her fada until the end of

> the program when a medium and the group figured it out), but anyway a priest

> had to do a house cleansing with holy water to get rid of him. I am not

> Catholic so I would think that would be out of the question if she does do

> things like that, but sage and prayers of cleansing might help. I try not to

> think of these things as she isn't dead yet, but I want to be prepared.

>

> Do any of you know why she is still trying to teach me at this late stage?

> It annoys me no end. I can't go n.c. and trying to get off the phone with

> excuses only angers her and makes her more volatile. Then she rants " I'm

> your MOTHER! I come first! " or just calls more. I injured my leg in an

> accident so she knows I don't go out right now so I can't 'not be home'. And

> no trying to set boundaries does not work either. She is far too demented

> now for that.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

How about instead of not being home, you are in the bathroom? For a long,

long time. Don't answer if you don't want to. And yes, that is mega creepy

and yes, it also sounds very familiar. As far as " teaching " you, she is

mentally ill and who knows why she thinks what she does - I would try to set

it aside and not think about it. You won't be able to make rhyme or reason

of it because trying to make nadas ramblings make sense is like trying to

make sense out of. . . I dunno - to quote annie putting butter into watches.

>

>

> Nada has told me she was visited twice by her mother who passed YEARS ago

> when I was 2. While some of you probably believe it is delusional, since

> nada doesn't believe that we are visited by loved ones before we pass to

> ready us for our transition to the other side, I believe her and she has

> never said things like that before anyway about anyone. She said she was

> awake both times and Grandma came to her, told her she was 'going to be with

> her soon' and kissed her goodbye. While this COULD be for sympathy, given

> all her numerous medical problems and a weekly report from her one friend

> who still helps her (God bless THAT woman), I believe it. Nada told me

> yesterday she has no appetite, eats nothing and doesn't care. Her friend

> told me that she buys her food at the supermarket but when she puts it away,

> the food she brought the week before hasn't budged nor is there garbage from

> empty containers etc. for a week now. Nada as most of you know has

> uncontrolled diabetes (no insulin or anything else for it as she refuses to

> even test her blood); high blood pressure; heart trouble; has had transient

> strokes for the last year or so intermittently; severely underweight;

> feeble; can't walk or stand well AT all; keeps falling when she attempts to

> and vomits everything she eats the week before last (nada said it looked

> like dried coffee grounds and there was blood also) which is why she now

> says she nothing agrees with her so why try to eat anyway.

>

> Now here is what I do NOT understand. Nada has been telling me she 'hasn't

> got long' so she has to 'teach me to be perfect just like her' (Okay laugh

> now). She tells me never to show anger; never to disagree with anyone just

> 'go along'; to accept it if the landlord's plow man for instance doesn't

> plow the driveway even MINIMALLY because 'who cares - you shouldn't'; not to

> ask the landlord to fix have anything fixed her if it breaks and if someone

> abuses me, accept it and continue the relationship - no one is perfect but

> her so just live with it. I don't get it. WHY is she trying to teach me

> these things?! I know she's nuts but these make no sense to me. Not that I

> am going to do these things, but still, I would like to know why is she

> doing this?

>

> She has told me in the past that I am to live in her house for the rest of

> my life 'just as it is' and I am to throw out or donate all MY furniture and

> belongings and not change a thing down there. I 'can' bring my clothes and

> 'one cat' but must have the other 'done away with'. Of course I have very

> bad memories of that house with nada and my stepfather from hell who lived

> there even though I didn't and I have no intentions of moving down there and

> living in that house. It is going to be sold when she passes. She DID say

> she will 'haunt me' if I don't do it also. As crazy as it sounds, I have no

> doubt she will never give up that house and will haunt it regardless of who

> lives in it after I sell it and I'm afraid she will haunt me also. There ARE

> ways to get rid of negative spirits like hers so I know some things to do,

> but bottom line I do NOT want her around at all and who would. I know this

> part just reeks of control and living vicariously through me which I will

> not do, but this is still disturbing regardless.

>

> Sorry this is so long and I'm sure some of you think that spirits (ghosts)

> do not exist anyway, but we all have different beliefs and that is mine. I

> did watch an episode of " Paranormal State " in which an extremely abusive

> fada (I believe he was not only alcoholic but also BPD from what came out as

> his behaviors while he was alive from various relatives they interviewed),

> haunted his adult daughter - scratched her back until it bled; tried to

> choke her in her bed etc. and that was her reason for calling in the

> paranormal group (although she did not know it was her fada until the end of

> the program when a medium and the group figured it out), but anyway a priest

> had to do a house cleansing with holy water to get rid of him. I am not

> Catholic so I would think that would be out of the question if she does do

> things like that, but sage and prayers of cleansing might help. I try not to

> think of these things as she isn't dead yet, but I want to be prepared.

>

> Do any of you know why she is still trying to teach me at this late stage?

> It annoys me no end. I can't go n.c. and trying to get off the phone with

> excuses only angers her and makes her more volatile. Then she rants " I'm

> your MOTHER! I come first! " or just calls more. I injured my leg in an

> accident so she knows I don't go out right now so I can't 'not be home'. And

> no trying to set boundaries does not work either. She is far too demented

> now for that.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Wow Libra, I don't know what to tell you on this one. As for hauntings &

stuff, I'm not sure I believe, but I don't disbelieve either. Like you

said, there are ways to get rid of spirits. And frankly, who knows? Maybe

hers will finally be at peace after she passes?

As for why she's acting this way, I really can't say. It could be the BPD,

could be dementia... could be time. Maybe she knows her time is limited? I

don't know... but I do believe that people do know to some extent when they

are sick like that. I've seen people hang on before just for one event to

happen and then pass on.

I wish I knew what to tell you on this. No, you shouldn't be expected to

just do what she says when she says it now or ever but how can you put up

boundaries if she's not listening? I sure don't know. I'm also curious,

will she go to a doctor? She's obviously been vomiting blood. But it also

sounds like she doesn't care anymore.

Ugh, it's so confusing. Their lives in general leave us feeling confused &

helpless. What do you do as they are passing on? What do you do after?

Just know we are here for you. Oh, and I did see that episode of Paranormal

State (love those shows). I really think if it were me I'd be doing what I

could to get rid of nada's spirt in death too! Go and be at peace for the

first time in your life, woman!

Mia

>

>

> Nada has told me she was visited twice by her mother who passed YEARS ago

> when I was 2. While some of you probably believe it is delusional, since

> nada doesn't believe that we are visited by loved ones before we pass to

> ready us for our transition to the other side, I believe her and she has

> never said things like that before anyway about anyone. She said she was

> awake both times and Grandma came to her, told her she was 'going to be with

> her soon' and kissed her goodbye. While this COULD be for sympathy, given

> all her numerous medical problems and a weekly report from her one friend

> who still helps her (God bless THAT woman), I believe it. Nada told me

> yesterday she has no appetite, eats nothing and doesn't care. Her friend

> told me that she buys her food at the supermarket but when she puts it away,

> the food she brought the week before hasn't budged nor is there garbage from

> empty containers etc. for a week now. Nada as most of you know has

> uncontrolled diabetes (no insulin or anything else for it as she refuses to

> even test her blood); high blood pressure; heart trouble; has had transient

> strokes for the last year or so intermittently; severely underweight;

> feeble; can't walk or stand well AT all; keeps falling when she attempts to

> and vomits everything she eats the week before last (nada said it looked

> like dried coffee grounds and there was blood also) which is why she now

> says she nothing agrees with her so why try to eat anyway.

>

> Now here is what I do NOT understand. Nada has been telling me she 'hasn't

> got long' so she has to 'teach me to be perfect just like her' (Okay laugh

> now). She tells me never to show anger; never to disagree with anyone just

> 'go along'; to accept it if the landlord's plow man for instance doesn't

> plow the driveway even MINIMALLY because 'who cares - you shouldn't'; not to

> ask the landlord to fix have anything fixed her if it breaks and if someone

> abuses me, accept it and continue the relationship - no one is perfect but

> her so just live with it. I don't get it. WHY is she trying to teach me

> these things?! I know she's nuts but these make no sense to me. Not that I

> am going to do these things, but still, I would like to know why is she

> doing this?

>

> She has told me in the past that I am to live in her house for the rest of

> my life 'just as it is' and I am to throw out or donate all MY furniture and

> belongings and not change a thing down there. I 'can' bring my clothes and

> 'one cat' but must have the other 'done away with'. Of course I have very

> bad memories of that house with nada and my stepfather from hell who lived

> there even though I didn't and I have no intentions of moving down there and

> living in that house. It is going to be sold when she passes. She DID say

> she will 'haunt me' if I don't do it also. As crazy as it sounds, I have no

> doubt she will never give up that house and will haunt it regardless of who

> lives in it after I sell it and I'm afraid she will haunt me also. There ARE

> ways to get rid of negative spirits like hers so I know some things to do,

> but bottom line I do NOT want her around at all and who would. I know this

> part just reeks of control and living vicariously through me which I will

> not do, but this is still disturbing regardless.

>

> Sorry this is so long and I'm sure some of you think that spirits (ghosts)

> do not exist anyway, but we all have different beliefs and that is mine. I

> did watch an episode of " Paranormal State " in which an extremely abusive

> fada (I believe he was not only alcoholic but also BPD from what came out as

> his behaviors while he was alive from various relatives they interviewed),

> haunted his adult daughter - scratched her back until it bled; tried to

> choke her in her bed etc. and that was her reason for calling in the

> paranormal group (although she did not know it was her fada until the end of

> the program when a medium and the group figured it out), but anyway a priest

> had to do a house cleansing with holy water to get rid of him. I am not

> Catholic so I would think that would be out of the question if she does do

> things like that, but sage and prayers of cleansing might help. I try not to

> think of these things as she isn't dead yet, but I want to be prepared.

>

> Do any of you know why she is still trying to teach me at this late stage?

> It annoys me no end. I can't go n.c. and trying to get off the phone with

> excuses only angers her and makes her more volatile. Then she rants " I'm

> your MOTHER! I come first! " or just calls more. I injured my leg in an

> accident so she knows I don't go out right now so I can't 'not be home'. And

> no trying to set boundaries does not work either. She is far too demented

> now for that.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I have a little saying that I've been using lately that helps me out " lead

paint " . For all I know my nada ate lead paint as a child, messed up her brain,

and that's why she is the way she is. And at the end of the day I can't do

anything about whether she ate that lead paint and the resulting harm - only

make decisions about what I will do. It sounds like your nada got lots of lead

paint and so will say and do many irrational things. No doubt she does have

ideas about who you should be or how you should be, but you don't have to take

them seriously unless you want to.

Haunting...a concern of mine as well. But I am encouraged that NO ONE has ever

mentioned this being a problem on this group and a number of nadas have passed.

Also there are probably more resources easily available now than at any time in

modern history to deal with this type of thing too. It is a very good sign

that your nada has seen her mother, hopefully she will have an escort into the

afterlife and not hang around to bother you.

>

> Nada has told me she was visited twice by her mother who passed YEARS ago when

I was 2. While some of you probably believe it is delusional, since nada

doesn't believe that we are visited by loved ones before we pass to ready us for

our transition to the other side, I believe her and she has never said things

like that before anyway about anyone. She said she was awake both times and

Grandma came to her, told her she was 'going to be with her soon' and kissed her

goodbye. While this COULD be for sympathy, given all her numerous medical

problems and a weekly report from her one friend who still helps her (God bless

THAT woman), I believe it. Nada told me yesterday she has no appetite, eats

nothing and doesn't care. Her friend told me that she buys her food at the

supermarket but when she puts it away, the food she brought the week before

hasn't budged nor is there garbage from empty containers etc. for a week now.

Nada as most of you know has uncontrolled diabetes (no insulin or anything else

for it as she refuses to even test her blood); high blood pressure; heart

trouble; has had transient strokes for the last year or so intermittently;

severely underweight; feeble; can't walk or stand well AT all; keeps falling

when she attempts to and vomits everything she eats the week before last (nada

said it looked like dried coffee grounds and there was blood also) which is why

she now says she nothing agrees with her so why try to eat anyway.

>

> Now here is what I do NOT understand. Nada has been telling me she 'hasn't

got long' so she has to 'teach me to be perfect just like her' (Okay laugh now).

She tells me never to show anger; never to disagree with anyone just 'go along';

to accept it if the landlord's plow man for instance doesn't plow the driveway

even MINIMALLY because 'who cares - you shouldn't'; not to ask the landlord to

fix have anything fixed her if it breaks and if someone abuses me, accept it and

continue the relationship - no one is perfect but her so just live with it. I

don't get it. WHY is she trying to teach me these things?! I know she's nuts

but these make no sense to me. Not that I am going to do these things, but

still, I would like to know why is she doing this?

>

> She has told me in the past that I am to live in her house for the rest of my

life 'just as it is' and I am to throw out or donate all MY furniture and

belongings and not change a thing down there. I 'can' bring my clothes and 'one

cat' but must have the other 'done away with'. Of course I have very bad

memories of that house with nada and my stepfather from hell who lived there

even though I didn't and I have no intentions of moving down there and living in

that house. It is going to be sold when she passes. She DID say she will

'haunt me' if I don't do it also. As crazy as it sounds, I have no doubt she

will never give up that house and will haunt it regardless of who lives in it

after I sell it and I'm afraid she will haunt me also. There ARE ways to get

rid of negative spirits like hers so I know some things to do, but bottom line I

do NOT want her around at all and who would. I know this part just reeks of

control and living vicariously through me which I will not do, but this is still

disturbing regardless.

>

> Sorry this is so long and I'm sure some of you think that spirits (ghosts) do

not exist anyway, but we all have different beliefs and that is mine. I did

watch an episode of " Paranormal State " in which an extremely abusive fada (I

believe he was not only alcoholic but also BPD from what came out as his

behaviors while he was alive from various relatives they interviewed), haunted

his adult daughter - scratched her back until it bled; tried to choke her in her

bed etc. and that was her reason for calling in the paranormal group (although

she did not know it was her fada until the end of the program when a medium and

the group figured it out), but anyway a priest had to do a house cleansing with

holy water to get rid of him. I am not Catholic so I would think that would be

out of the question if she does do things like that, but sage and prayers of

cleansing might help. I try not to think of these things as she isn't dead yet,

but I want to be prepared.

>

> Do any of you know why she is still trying to teach me at this late stage? It

annoys me no end. I can't go n.c. and trying to get off the phone with excuses

only angers her and makes her more volatile. Then she rants " I'm your MOTHER!

I come first! " or just calls more. I injured my leg in an accident so she knows

I don't go out right now so I can't 'not be home'. And no trying to set

boundaries does not work either. She is far too demented now for that.

>

[Guest guest]

I have a little saying that I've been using lately that helps me out " lead

paint " . For all I know my nada ate lead paint as a child, messed up her brain,

and that's why she is the way she is. And at the end of the day I can't do

anything about whether she ate that lead paint and the resulting harm - only

make decisions about what I will do. It sounds like your nada got lots of lead

paint and so will say and do many irrational things. No doubt she does have

ideas about who you should be or how you should be, but you don't have to take

them seriously unless you want to.

Haunting...a concern of mine as well. But I am encouraged that NO ONE has ever

mentioned this being a problem on this group and a number of nadas have passed.

Also there are probably more resources easily available now than at any time in

modern history to deal with this type of thing too. It is a very good sign

that your nada has seen her mother, hopefully she will have an escort into the

afterlife and not hang around to bother you.

>

> Nada has told me she was visited twice by her mother who passed YEARS ago when

I was 2. While some of you probably believe it is delusional, since nada

doesn't believe that we are visited by loved ones before we pass to ready us for

our transition to the other side, I believe her and she has never said things

like that before anyway about anyone. She said she was awake both times and

Grandma came to her, told her she was 'going to be with her soon' and kissed her

goodbye. While this COULD be for sympathy, given all her numerous medical

problems and a weekly report from her one friend who still helps her (God bless

THAT woman), I believe it. Nada told me yesterday she has no appetite, eats

nothing and doesn't care. Her friend told me that she buys her food at the

supermarket but when she puts it away, the food she brought the week before

hasn't budged nor is there garbage from empty containers etc. for a week now.

Nada as most of you know has uncontrolled diabetes (no insulin or anything else

for it as she refuses to even test her blood); high blood pressure; heart

trouble; has had transient strokes for the last year or so intermittently;

severely underweight; feeble; can't walk or stand well AT all; keeps falling

when she attempts to and vomits everything she eats the week before last (nada

said it looked like dried coffee grounds and there was blood also) which is why

she now says she nothing agrees with her so why try to eat anyway.

>

> Now here is what I do NOT understand. Nada has been telling me she 'hasn't

got long' so she has to 'teach me to be perfect just like her' (Okay laugh now).

She tells me never to show anger; never to disagree with anyone just 'go along';

to accept it if the landlord's plow man for instance doesn't plow the driveway

even MINIMALLY because 'who cares - you shouldn't'; not to ask the landlord to

fix have anything fixed her if it breaks and if someone abuses me, accept it and

continue the relationship - no one is perfect but her so just live with it. I

don't get it. WHY is she trying to teach me these things?! I know she's nuts

but these make no sense to me. Not that I am going to do these things, but

still, I would like to know why is she doing this?

>

> She has told me in the past that I am to live in her house for the rest of my

life 'just as it is' and I am to throw out or donate all MY furniture and

belongings and not change a thing down there. I 'can' bring my clothes and 'one

cat' but must have the other 'done away with'. Of course I have very bad

memories of that house with nada and my stepfather from hell who lived there

even though I didn't and I have no intentions of moving down there and living in

that house. It is going to be sold when she passes. She DID say she will

'haunt me' if I don't do it also. As crazy as it sounds, I have no doubt she

will never give up that house and will haunt it regardless of who lives in it

after I sell it and I'm afraid she will haunt me also. There ARE ways to get

rid of negative spirits like hers so I know some things to do, but bottom line I

do NOT want her around at all and who would. I know this part just reeks of

control and living vicariously through me which I will not do, but this is still

disturbing regardless.

>

> Sorry this is so long and I'm sure some of you think that spirits (ghosts) do

not exist anyway, but we all have different beliefs and that is mine. I did

watch an episode of " Paranormal State " in which an extremely abusive fada (I

believe he was not only alcoholic but also BPD from what came out as his

behaviors while he was alive from various relatives they interviewed), haunted

his adult daughter - scratched her back until it bled; tried to choke her in her

bed etc. and that was her reason for calling in the paranormal group (although

she did not know it was her fada until the end of the program when a medium and

the group figured it out), but anyway a priest had to do a house cleansing with

holy water to get rid of him. I am not Catholic so I would think that would be

out of the question if she does do things like that, but sage and prayers of

cleansing might help. I try not to think of these things as she isn't dead yet,

but I want to be prepared.

>

> Do any of you know why she is still trying to teach me at this late stage? It

annoys me no end. I can't go n.c. and trying to get off the phone with excuses

only angers her and makes her more volatile. Then she rants " I'm your MOTHER!

I come first! " or just calls more. I injured my leg in an accident so she knows

I don't go out right now so I can't 'not be home'. And no trying to set

boundaries does not work either. She is far too demented now for that.

>

[Guest guest]

I have a little saying that I've been using lately that helps me out " lead

paint " . For all I know my nada ate lead paint as a child, messed up her brain,

and that's why she is the way she is. And at the end of the day I can't do

anything about whether she ate that lead paint and the resulting harm - only

make decisions about what I will do. It sounds like your nada got lots of lead

paint and so will say and do many irrational things. No doubt she does have

ideas about who you should be or how you should be, but you don't have to take

them seriously unless you want to.

Haunting...a concern of mine as well. But I am encouraged that NO ONE has ever

mentioned this being a problem on this group and a number of nadas have passed.

Also there are probably more resources easily available now than at any time in

modern history to deal with this type of thing too. It is a very good sign

that your nada has seen her mother, hopefully she will have an escort into the

afterlife and not hang around to bother you.

>

> Nada has told me she was visited twice by her mother who passed YEARS ago when

I was 2. While some of you probably believe it is delusional, since nada

doesn't believe that we are visited by loved ones before we pass to ready us for

our transition to the other side, I believe her and she has never said things

like that before anyway about anyone. She said she was awake both times and

Grandma came to her, told her she was 'going to be with her soon' and kissed her

goodbye. While this COULD be for sympathy, given all her numerous medical

problems and a weekly report from her one friend who still helps her (God bless

THAT woman), I believe it. Nada told me yesterday she has no appetite, eats

nothing and doesn't care. Her friend told me that she buys her food at the

supermarket but when she puts it away, the food she brought the week before

hasn't budged nor is there garbage from empty containers etc. for a week now.

Nada as most of you know has uncontrolled diabetes (no insulin or anything else

for it as she refuses to even test her blood); high blood pressure; heart

trouble; has had transient strokes for the last year or so intermittently;

severely underweight; feeble; can't walk or stand well AT all; keeps falling

when she attempts to and vomits everything she eats the week before last (nada

said it looked like dried coffee grounds and there was blood also) which is why

she now says she nothing agrees with her so why try to eat anyway.

>

> Now here is what I do NOT understand. Nada has been telling me she 'hasn't

got long' so she has to 'teach me to be perfect just like her' (Okay laugh now).

She tells me never to show anger; never to disagree with anyone just 'go along';

to accept it if the landlord's plow man for instance doesn't plow the driveway

even MINIMALLY because 'who cares - you shouldn't'; not to ask the landlord to

fix have anything fixed her if it breaks and if someone abuses me, accept it and

continue the relationship - no one is perfect but her so just live with it. I

don't get it. WHY is she trying to teach me these things?! I know she's nuts

but these make no sense to me. Not that I am going to do these things, but

still, I would like to know why is she doing this?

>

> She has told me in the past that I am to live in her house for the rest of my

life 'just as it is' and I am to throw out or donate all MY furniture and

belongings and not change a thing down there. I 'can' bring my clothes and 'one

cat' but must have the other 'done away with'. Of course I have very bad

memories of that house with nada and my stepfather from hell who lived there

even though I didn't and I have no intentions of moving down there and living in

that house. It is going to be sold when she passes. She DID say she will

'haunt me' if I don't do it also. As crazy as it sounds, I have no doubt she

will never give up that house and will haunt it regardless of who lives in it

after I sell it and I'm afraid she will haunt me also. There ARE ways to get

rid of negative spirits like hers so I know some things to do, but bottom line I

do NOT want her around at all and who would. I know this part just reeks of

control and living vicariously through me which I will not do, but this is still

disturbing regardless.

>

> Sorry this is so long and I'm sure some of you think that spirits (ghosts) do

not exist anyway, but we all have different beliefs and that is mine. I did

watch an episode of " Paranormal State " in which an extremely abusive fada (I

believe he was not only alcoholic but also BPD from what came out as his

behaviors while he was alive from various relatives they interviewed), haunted

his adult daughter - scratched her back until it bled; tried to choke her in her

bed etc. and that was her reason for calling in the paranormal group (although

she did not know it was her fada until the end of the program when a medium and

the group figured it out), but anyway a priest had to do a house cleansing with

holy water to get rid of him. I am not Catholic so I would think that would be

out of the question if she does do things like that, but sage and prayers of

cleansing might help. I try not to think of these things as she isn't dead yet,

but I want to be prepared.

>

> Do any of you know why she is still trying to teach me at this late stage? It

annoys me no end. I can't go n.c. and trying to get off the phone with excuses

only angers her and makes her more volatile. Then she rants " I'm your MOTHER!

I come first! " or just calls more. I injured my leg in an accident so she knows

I don't go out right now so I can't 'not be home'. And no trying to set

boundaries does not work either. She is far too demented now for that.

>

[Guest guest]

Check this out: http://www.hauntedland.com

>

> Nada has told me she was visited twice by her mother who passed YEARS ago when

I was 2. While some of you probably believe it is delusional, since nada

doesn't believe that we are visited by loved ones before we pass to ready us for

our transition to the other side, I believe her and she has never said things

like that before anyway about anyone. She said she was awake both times and

Grandma came to her, told her she was 'going to be with her soon' and kissed her

goodbye. While this COULD be for sympathy, given all her numerous medical

problems and a weekly report from her one friend who still helps her (God bless

THAT woman), I believe it. Nada told me yesterday she has no appetite, eats

nothing and doesn't care. Her friend told me that she buys her food at the

supermarket but when she puts it away, the food she brought the week before

hasn't budged nor is there garbage from empty containers etc. for a week now.

Nada as most of you know has uncontrolled diabetes (no insulin or anything else

for it as she refuses to even test her blood); high blood pressure; heart

trouble; has had transient strokes for the last year or so intermittently;

severely underweight; feeble; can't walk or stand well AT all; keeps falling

when she attempts to and vomits everything she eats the week before last (nada

said it looked like dried coffee grounds and there was blood also) which is why

she now says she nothing agrees with her so why try to eat anyway.

>

> Now here is what I do NOT understand. Nada has been telling me she 'hasn't

got long' so she has to 'teach me to be perfect just like her' (Okay laugh now).

She tells me never to show anger; never to disagree with anyone just 'go along';

to accept it if the landlord's plow man for instance doesn't plow the driveway

even MINIMALLY because 'who cares - you shouldn't'; not to ask the landlord to

fix have anything fixed her if it breaks and if someone abuses me, accept it and

continue the relationship - no one is perfect but her so just live with it. I

don't get it. WHY is she trying to teach me these things?! I know she's nuts

but these make no sense to me. Not that I am going to do these things, but

still, I would like to know why is she doing this?

>

> She has told me in the past that I am to live in her house for the rest of my

life 'just as it is' and I am to throw out or donate all MY furniture and

belongings and not change a thing down there. I 'can' bring my clothes and 'one

cat' but must have the other 'done away with'. Of course I have very bad

memories of that house with nada and my stepfather from hell who lived there

even though I didn't and I have no intentions of moving down there and living in

that house. It is going to be sold when she passes. She DID say she will

'haunt me' if I don't do it also. As crazy as it sounds, I have no doubt she

will never give up that house and will haunt it regardless of who lives in it

after I sell it and I'm afraid she will haunt me also. There ARE ways to get

rid of negative spirits like hers so I know some things to do, but bottom line I

do NOT want her around at all and who would. I know this part just reeks of

control and living vicariously through me which I will not do, but this is still

disturbing regardless.

>

> Sorry this is so long and I'm sure some of you think that spirits (ghosts) do

not exist anyway, but we all have different beliefs and that is mine. I did

watch an episode of " Paranormal State " in which an extremely abusive fada (I

believe he was not only alcoholic but also BPD from what came out as his

behaviors while he was alive from various relatives they interviewed), haunted

his adult daughter - scratched her back until it bled; tried to choke her in her

bed etc. and that was her reason for calling in the paranormal group (although

she did not know it was her fada until the end of the program when a medium and

the group figured it out), but anyway a priest had to do a house cleansing with

holy water to get rid of him. I am not Catholic so I would think that would be

out of the question if she does do things like that, but sage and prayers of

cleansing might help. I try not to think of these things as she isn't dead yet,

but I want to be prepared.

>

> Do any of you know why she is still trying to teach me at this late stage? It

annoys me no end. I can't go n.c. and trying to get off the phone with excuses

only angers her and makes her more volatile. Then she rants " I'm your MOTHER!

I come first! " or just calls more. I injured my leg in an accident so she knows

I don't go out right now so I can't 'not be home'. And no trying to set

boundaries does not work either. She is far too demented now for that.

>