bad night

June 1, 2001

,

So sorry to hear you are having a rough time. I can't imagine all the possible things it could be. One possibility is a panic attack. With all the stress on your emotional health and physically as well, another infection separate from the mycoplasma may have entered. Have you seen a doc, preferably one who is willing to look beyond the "depression" idea?

~Roseanne~

May 27, 2003

In a message dated 5/27/03 2:37:19 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

@... writes:

> My dad died last night of a heart attack. His wife has terminal cancer.

> Please pray for our family. I'm managing to hold it together, but I'm a

> little preoccupied right now.

>

Theresa,

I'm so so sorry to hear this! Let me know if you need anything!

love, Roxanna

May 27, 2003

Hi everyone,

My dad died last night of a heart attack. His wife has terminal cancer.

Please pray for our family. I'm managing to hold it together, but I'm a

little preoccupied right now.

Theresa

May 27, 2003

So sorry to hear it. My thoughts are with you.

Liz

wrote:

> Hi everyone,

>

> My dad died last night of a heart attack. His wife has terminal cancer.

> Please pray for our family. I'm managing to hold it together, but I'm a

> little preoccupied right now.

>

> Theresa

May 27, 2003

Prayers on the way!!!

MISSY

SAHM to some special kids!!!

Excuse Me While I Go

Raise Tomorrow's Future.

Re: ( ) Bad night

Hi everyone,

My dad died last night of a heart attack. His wife has terminal cancer.

Please pray for our family. I'm managing to hold it together, but I'm a

little preoccupied right now.

Theresa

May 27, 2003

In a message dated 5/27/2003 7:18:05 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

barb2743@... writes:

> My dad died last night of a heart attack. His wife has terminal cancer.

> Please pray for our family. I'm managing to hold it together, but I'm a

> little preoccupied right now.

> I am so sorry my thoughts are with you and your family.

May 27, 2003

Theresa,

So sorry to hear about your dad and your step-mom........sending you prayers.

((((((((((Theresa)))))) times like this I wish we all lived in the same town

and could physically support each other as well as the emotional

support....take care....big hugs and prayers to you and your family.

Johanna

May 27, 2003

Sorry to hear about your loss. Our thoughts are with you. Lynn

Liz Bohn <lbohn@...> wrote:So sorry to hear it. My thoughts are with you.

Liz

wrote:

> Hi everyone,

>

> My dad died last night of a heart attack. His wife has terminal cancer.

> Please pray for our family. I'm managing to hold it together, but I'm a

> little preoccupied right now.

>

> Theresa

May 27, 2003

Dear Theresa

so sorry to hear of your loss. you and your family are in our prayers. keep

strong.

Fania

May 28, 2003

Dear Theresa,

Sorry to hear of your loss. Take care of yourself and your family. My prayers

are with you.

/IL

<@...> wrote:

Hi everyone,

My dad died last night of a heart attack. His wife has terminal cancer.

Please pray for our family. I'm managing to hold it together, but I'm a

little preoccupied right now.

Theresa

May 28, 2003

((((((((((Theresa)))))))))))))))))) I'm so sorry to hear this. My thoughts

and prayers are with you and your family. Barbara

<@...> wrote:

Hi everyone,

My dad died last night of a heart attack. His wife has terminal cancer.

Please pray for our family. I'm managing to hold it together, but I'm a

little preoccupied right now.

Theresa

May 28, 2003

> Hi everyone,

>

> My dad died last night of a heart attack. His wife has terminal

cancer.

> Please pray for our family. I'm managing to hold it together, but

I'm a

> little preoccupied right now.

>

> Theresa

Ooooh, Theresa,

I am so sorry. I am praying for you and your family.

Kathy

May 28, 2003

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Hugs, a

> Hi everyone,

>

> My dad died last night of a heart attack. His wife has terminal

cancer.

> Please pray for our family. I'm managing to hold it together, but

I'm a

> little preoccupied right now.

>

> Theresa

May 28, 2003

Theresa,

I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. I lost my Dad in November of cancer

and I know how devasting it is.

I am sending prayers your way. Just a suggestion if you read this before

your Father's services, we had cards made up with a picture of my Dad on the

outside and a poem on the inside left and his information on the inside

right. They are very nice and most funeral homes can get them made for you.

Hang in there, I know it's hard.

Take care,

Dawn

Hi everyone,

My dad died last night of a heart attack. His wife has terminal cancer.

Please pray for our family. I'm managing to hold it together, but I'm a

little preoccupied right now.

Theresa

March 31, 2008

Oh ! How horrible! My big question about all of this is where was the teacher?? From the description, way too much happened for it not to be seen by some adult. Good for Dylan to know not to go into that locker room. Give him a big High 5 from me! Good plan to go into school first thing tomorrow. Don't leave until you are satisfied! Make sure you report back to us. Mims <smacalli@...> wrote: My son just told me

a boy in PE slapped him in the face and kicked him twice because he was joking around with him b/c he missed the ball and the boy got mad. Dylan said he didn't mean it in a bad way, but the boy got mad anyway and kicked and slapped him in the face. Then at the end of class, a group of boys surrounded him and started kicking him because they thought he tripped a boy (he says he didn't.) I'm so sad/mad/lost right now. My dad is coming over here and we're going to talk through what to do, but wow, I'm so sad. And pissed off. Dylan said after this happened (they were supposed to be going into the locker room to change) Dylan went to one of the offices and just sat in there for awhile. He missed part of his lunch. I think it's brilliant that he didn't enter the locker room. And I'm proud he handled himself well, given the circumstances. I'll be having a conversation with the Vice Principal first thing in the morning. I'll let

you all know what happens.

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April 1, 2008

. I'm so sorry to hear this. You're right to be proud of him for staying out of what could have been even worse (locker room). Good thinking. Please DO let us know what you find out. Robin <smacalli@...> wrote: My son just told me a boy in PE slapped him in the face and kicked him twice because he was joking around with him b/c he missed the ball and the boy got mad. Dylan said he didn't mean it in a bad way, but the boy got mad anyway and

kicked and slapped him in the face. Then at the end of class, a group of boys surrounded him and started kicking him because they thought he tripped a boy (he says he didn't.) I'm so sad/mad/lost right now. My dad is coming over here and we're going to talk through what to do, but wow, I'm so sad. And pissed off. Dylan said after this happened (they were supposed to be going into the locker room to change) Dylan went to one of the offices and just sat in there for awhile. He missed part of his lunch. I think it's brilliant that he didn't enter the locker room. And I'm proud he handled himself well, given the circumstances. I'll be having a conversation with the Vice Principal first thing in the morning. I'll let you all know what happens.

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February 11, 2009

We did this- we live in a small town and have introduced our kids to the police officers. Also we put a note on our 911 file that says there is an autistic child in the home. This way any police that show up (whether you call them or not) will know that there is an unusual situation in the home.

My son is now 19. Our deputy has become our staunch ally. When my 18 year old who has bipolar did something really legally stupid he was able to go to the deputy and confess and take responsibility.

Good luck. I have four children younger than my child with autism and it has always been a struggle to keep them same from his tantrums, especially now that he is over 6 feet tall and 350 pounds. My suggestion is to enlist the authority figures around you to help. There is also training for police officers available in some places.

Jean

In a message dated 2/11/2009 1:11:03 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, dlbalke@... writes:

Is there a crisis number you can get from mental health that you can call instead of the police. Call around today so you have a number and an estimated response time in case you are stuck next time. Better to be prepared and never need it.....

( ) Bad night

I had a bad night last night. My 10 AS son flipped out. We haven't had a night like this in a long time. He was so angry. He was throwing things at me trying to hurt me. I was trying to stay calm and protect my NT girls (7 & 4) and myself. Worried that he would destroy my house (of course money and things are the least important but its hard not to think about it when he is on a tare). I didn't know what to do. I am physically able to hold him, just barely, but what do I do with him then?Eventually I threatened to call the police, had the phone in my hand and started to dial, and he stopped throwing things and started to cry. I got him to go up to his room and went up a couple of minutes later. When he calmed down he was so sad it broke my heart. He knew he hurt me and he is so sensitive about that but he just couldn't stop himself. I can't stop thinking about what happens the next time. When he is bigger. What if he decided to grab some knives and throw them instead of match box cars (which really hurt when thrown with all the strengh in a 10 year old boys body; but can only bruise). Do I actually call the police on a 10, 11, or 12 year old boy. I want to protect ALL my children and I don't know how to do that when he is out of control. Vickie

February 11, 2009

Sorry Vickie! <<HUG>>

May I ask what the trigger was?

My son is younger and I haven’t hit

this issue yet, but I do anticipate it and worry tremendously.

I used to work at a residential boys home

and was trained how to physically approach a situation like this with boys that

were similar or bigger in size. They taught us to “Baskethold.”

You come behind him, grab his arms, cross them, and pull them so they wrap

around to his back (Like he is hugging himself). You then have your arms

wrapped around him—similar to a hug, and pull back to the nearest

available wall, and slide down so that you are sitting with your legs open and

he in front of you. This will allow you to hold him until he can

calm.

I hope that helps. Its not at all

foolproof but it did help me as an 18 year old restraining angry 12 year old

boys!

I’m also curious how your daughters

reach when your son gets this extreme..?

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Vickie Boehnlein

Sent: Wednesday, February 11, 2009

9:06 AM

Subject: ( ) Bad

night

I had a bad night last night. My 10 AS son flipped

out. We haven't

had a night like this in a long time. He was so angry. He was

throwing things at me trying to hurt me. I was trying to stay calm

and protect my NT girls (7 & 4) and myself. Worried that he would

destroy my house (of course money and things are the least important

but its hard not to think about it when he is on a tare). I didn't

know what to do. I am physically able to hold him, just barely, but

what do I do with him then?

Eventually I threatened to call the police, had the phone in my hand

and started to dial, and he stopped throwing things and started to

cry. I got him to go up to his room and went up a couple of minutes

later.

When he calmed down he was so sad it broke my heart. He knew he hurt

me and he is so sensitive about that but he just couldn't stop

himself.

I can't stop thinking about what happens the next time. When he is

bigger. What if he decided to grab some knives and throw them

instead of match box cars (which really hurt when thrown with all the

strengh in a 10 year old boys body; but can only bruise). Do I

actually call the police on a 10, 11, or 12 year old boy. I want to

protect ALL my children and I don't know how to do that when he is

out of control.

Vickie

February 11, 2009

Here is a website. Dennis has written a book. Avoiding Unfortunate Situations...Pam

Autism Risk and Safety Management The year's hottest artists on the red carpet at the Grammy Awards. AOL Music takes you there.

February 11, 2009

Is there a crisis number you can get from mental health that you can call instead of the police. Call around today so you have a number and an estimated response time in case you are stuck next time. Better to be prepared and never need it.....

( ) Bad night

I had a bad night last night. My 10 AS son flipped out. We haven't had a night like this in a long time. He was so angry. He was throwing things at me trying to hurt me. I was trying to stay calm and protect my NT girls (7 & 4) and myself. Worried that he would destroy my house (of course money and things are the least important but its hard not to think about it when he is on a tare). I didn't know what to do. I am physically able to hold him, just barely, but what do I do with him then?Eventually I threatened to call the police, had the phone in my hand and started to dial, and he stopped throwing things and started to cry. I got him to go up to his room and went up a couple of minutes later. When he calmed down he was so sad it broke my heart. He knew he hurt me and he is so sensitive about that but he just couldn't stop himself. I can't stop thinking about what happens the next time. When he is bigger. What if he decided to grab some knives and throw them instead of match box cars (which really hurt when thrown with all the strengh in a 10 year old boys body; but can only bruise). Do I actually call the police on a 10, 11, or 12 year old boy. I want to protect ALL my children and I don't know how to do that when he is out of control. Vickie

February 11, 2009

Does anyone know of a police department that has a good police officer training program that we can borrow (plagerize )

( ) Bad night

I had a bad night last night. My 10 AS son flipped out. We haven't had a night like this in a long time. He was so angry. He was throwing things at me trying to hurt me. I was trying to stay calm and protect my NT girls (7 & 4) and myself. Worried that he would destroy my house (of course money and things are the least important but its hard not to think about it when he is on a tare). I didn't know what to do. I am physically able to hold him, just barely, but what do I do with him then?Eventually I threatened to call the police, had the phone in my hand and started to dial, and he stopped throwing things and started to cry. I got him to go up to his room and went up a couple of minutes later. When he calmed down he was so sad it broke my heart. He knew he hurt me and he is so sensitive about that but he just couldn't stop himself. I can't stop thinking about what happens the next time. When he is bigger. What if he decided to grab some knives and throw them instead of match box cars (which really hurt when thrown with all the strengh in a 10 year old boys body; but can only bruise). Do I actually call the police on a 10, 11, or 12 year old boy. I want to protect ALL my children and I don't know how to do that when he is out of control. Vickie

February 11, 2009

To answer your question on the trigger:

My two girls (Kira 7 and Maya 4) got into a fight in the same room as

s. In hindsight I realize that the noise of two little girls

screeming probably created a sensory overload that led to the trigger

incident. When s intervened in the fight Kira turned her anger

onto him and ripped a foam dart in half (he has the toy guns that

shoot foam darts). He got angry and hit her over the head with the

gun.

My response to the hitting with the gun (which I would have done

differently if I had thought about the sensory issue) was to take

away the guns. This is what sent him over the edge.

I don't think that I was wrong to take away the guns. He has to

understand that if he uses toys as weapons he will lose the toy.

But, in all fairness he was in sensory overload and provoked by the

ripping up of the dart (not excuse, explanation).

Anyway, he went bizerk and started throwing things at me. I left the

room. I was trying to calm the girls and check Kira's head to make

sure she had no serious injuries when he came downstairs with a

handful of matchbox cars and started to chuck them at me as hard as

he could.

I did not try to restrain him at that point. I had so much going

through my head. I was trying to figure out what to do, trying to

calm the girls, concerned he would break something, trying to avoid

being hit in the face/head with a flying metal car, wondering if I

should try to restrain him or contain him somewhere safe while he

calmed down, trying to figure out where to put him, etc.

When he ran out of cars he went and tried to break into the room

where I locked the toys. I tried calling my husband but he was not

able to answer his phone. At that point I asked him if I needed to

call the police. He still wouldn't calm down and was slamming doors

and trying to break things or threatening to break things so I

grabbed my phone and said thats enough I am calling the police.

He then started crying and screaming no! no! So I told him to go

upstairs to his room and calm down. Which he did (stomping and

swearing the whole way).

I think the part that really got to me is that even though I know I

could restrain him at this point (with some difficulty - he is skinny

but wirery and strong and would definitely get in some blows first)

It scares me to think of what will happen the bigger he gets. The

scarry part of my brain started to think what if next time he gets

knives instead of cars to throw. When he is angry like that he WANTS

to hurt someone.

As for the girls, they were scared and upset. They cried but they

calmed down when he did. They didn't want to go upstairs where he

was for a while. By the time they went to bed all was forgotten - to

an extent. I'm sure that they are impacted by the whole thing in

ways that I can't even imagine.

s has a therapy session tonight that was already scheduled.

The therapist is going to have me and Kira in the session with him

and s so we can work through things since it is so fresh in our

minds.

Vickie

>

> Sorry Vickie! <<HUG>>

>

> May I ask what the trigger was?

>

> My son is younger and I haven't hit this issue yet, but I do

anticipate it

> and worry tremendously.

>

> I used to work at a residential boys home and was trained how to

physically

> approach a situation like this with boys that were similar or

bigger in

> size. They taught us to " Baskethold. " You come behind him, grab

his arms,

> cross them, and pull them so they wrap around to his back (Like he

is

> hugging himself). You then have your arms wrapped around him-

similar to a

> hug, and pull back to the nearest available wall, and slide down so

that you

> are sitting with your legs open and he in front of you. This will

allow you

> to hold him until he can calm.

>

> I hope that helps. Its not at all foolproof but it did help me as

an 18 year

> old restraining angry 12 year old boys!

>

> I'm also curious how your daughters reach when your son gets this

extreme..?

>

> _____

>

> From:

> [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Vickie

Boehnlein

> Sent: Wednesday, February 11, 2009 9:06 AM

>

> Subject: ( ) Bad night

>

> I had a bad night last night. My 10 AS son flipped out. We haven't

> had a night like this in a long time. He was so angry. He was

> throwing things at me trying to hurt me. I was trying to stay calm

> and protect my NT girls (7 & 4) and myself. Worried that he would

> destroy my house (of course money and things are the least

important

> but its hard not to think about it when he is on a tare). I didn't

> know what to do. I am physically able to hold him, just barely, but

> what do I do with him then?

>

> Eventually I threatened to call the police, had the phone in my

hand

> and started to dial, and he stopped throwing things and started to

> cry. I got him to go up to his room and went up a couple of minutes

> later.

>

> When he calmed down he was so sad it broke my heart. He knew he

hurt

> me and he is so sensitive about that but he just couldn't stop

> himself.

>

> I can't stop thinking about what happens the next time. When he is

> bigger. What if he decided to grab some knives and throw them

> instead of match box cars (which really hurt when thrown with all

the

> strengh in a 10 year old boys body; but can only bruise). Do I

> actually call the police on a 10, 11, or 12 year old boy. I want to

> protect ALL my children and I don't know how to do that when he is

> out of control.

>

> Vickie

>

February 11, 2009

Hi Vickie

Let me know how therapy goes!

I should’ve guessed it was an

episode of sensory overload that triggered the event. Poor mom! How

overloaded you must’ve been trying to protect your other two and best

deal with s!

I don’t think you were wrong to take

away the guns at all!

I TOTALLY understand what you’re

saying when you say you’re scared of what you’ll do when he’s

bigger!!

I have a 9.5 yr old with Cerebral Palsy

and am VERY scared about how I will lift/transfer him as he continues to grow.

He also has involuntary movement and we all get punched (by no ill will) all

the time. I can’t imagine how much damage that might do when he reached

his full mass.

Still, the one benefit to having a

non-ambulatory child is maintenance of some of the control. That’s the

piece you don’t have and it’s scary! I already worry about my

little guy in HIS future. Others thought me crazy when I started behavior mod techniques

and trying to get EI when he was still younger. I believe it’s the only

way to TRY and prevent situations like you have just encountered! (and what

will my immobile son do as he sits in the middle of it? Doesn’t matter

that he is actually older!)

Well I can’t wait to hear what the

therapist says and how Kira does with it!

Lori

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Vickie Boehnlein

Sent: Wednesday, February 11, 2009

1:38 PM

Subject: Re: ( )

Bad night