Re: Martha, Ellen, Chantelle,....

[Guest guest]

you go girl!!!!! thank goodness you push--or Patty wouldn't get what she

needs and DESERVES. I hope we can all keep pushing.

Martha, Ellen, Chantelle,....

> Martha, Chantelle, Ellen,....

>

> I have been trying to figure out how to put into words what I have been

> finding out this past week. You guys are hitting it right on the spot and

> evoking

> emotions within me. I've kind of been insulted lately. I can feel in my

> bones that this will be a long post so bare with me.

>

> Lately I have had the opportunity to chat with people and " friends " from

> the

> town we moved from. I've also met with both friends and strangers in the

> deaf/blind world. Through these conversations there have often been many

> " slips "

> about me as a mother for Patty. Apparently word is out there that I am a

> " fighter " and won't back down. Apparently there is still discussion that

> I don't

> accept Patty's disabilities. UGH!!!!! I hated that statement then and I

> hate

> it now. It's even been said that there is a nice political way to push

> for a

> child's rights and then there's my way to do it. How insulting is that!

>

> My gosh that hurt me. Some of these statements were from parents (I

> thought

> were my friends) who have gone to due process for their children and won.

> Yet

> I never really told them how hard it was for Patty to receive services.

> But

> I didn't go to due process because I was afraid of that " fight " and what

> it

> would do to Patty. I tried to keep it " friendly. " The worse part of this

> is it

> is all gossip. How can that gossip continue even having moved out of

> the

> state? And yet even worse is that this assumption about me has grown now

> into

> the adult world.

>

> Sure I fought for Patty. You betcha. I had to as no one else did. Sure

> I

> tried to be nice, I tried to work together, I tried every avenue there

> was.

> But with that I also wouldn't accept or allow Patty to receive an

> inappropriate

> education-ever. I knew programs, I knew laws, I knew her rights, and more

> importantly I knew when I was being manipulated or being lied to. Sure I

> questioned authoritarian figures-when they were obviously wrong. It

> wasn't

> insulting. It was just facts. If I allowed what they offered for Patty

> she never

> would have come this far. We lived a life of " I told you so! " We still

> do.

>

> I made sure that I complimented those who did great jobs. I sent flowers

> and

> thank you cards.... But when something was wrong I did not allow that to

> continue. I brought in people to teach about CHARGE, I brought in a

> phenomenal

> person to do a " Futures Personal Plan, " we called in an outside specialist

> to be

> a mediator, we did it all the right way, and the kind way. Know what they

> said-It was all a waste of their time.

>

> When being pushed into the corner though you bet I would not allow that

> either. How is that being an aggressive person? How is truth and honesty

> being

> hard? How is it that being a parent of a child who has disabilities and

> advocating for their rights being wrong? If I did all of these and still

> am called

> pushy, hard, stubborn, then I guess I'll take that title.

>

> If I give honesty and respect then I expect the same. More than that I

> expect respect to/for/with my child. I expected it then, now and I will

> expect it

> always. I had expected that those who worked with her would learn about

> her.

> That's their job. No more and no less. If someone isn't doing their job

> then I cannot be at fault no matter how hard they try. Unbelievably when

> Patty

> graduated we even had a specialist who said with more children who have

> CHARGE

> now coming up in the ranks they thought that they should learn more about

> it.

> What about learning about my child when they were working with her?

>

> Know where I found the help? Not only from my own research, education and

> learning processes but from the Regular Ed teachers. That continued to

> the day

> she graduated-with a regular diploma and on time. We had the best

> educators

> in the state, and the worse administrator there was. SPED wasn't

> accepting of

> Patty. Educators were. It is the people who were WRONG that apparently

> continue to complain. But my gosh we moved away and moved on. I am

> surprised that

> they haven't. I do have to harden my heart with things like that or it

> would

> sadden me too much.

>

> Patty proved her potential and accomplished great things on her own, and

> continues to but still they can't see it. She did great things not

> because of

> them, but often in spite of them. Do they think we are making it up? Gosh

> it

> hurts that even now they still don't believe in her. They obviously won't

> get it

> because that just might mean they were wrong.

>

> No, Martha, I am not going away. How in the world can I? I am a mother.

> It

> would be so easy to give up and back down. It would be so easy not to

> care.

> It would be so easy to........... Oh sometimes I wish I could.

>

> But I can't. Patty deserves a life as a respected human being. No more,

> no

> less. Each and every one of our children do. CHARGE doesn't go away. I

> want

> to scream that from the top of the world. Patty doesn't go away and so I

> cannot go away. That doesn't mean I am not a nice person. My gosh I

> think I

> care too much about peoples feelings, even mean people. But I cannot

> allow my

> daughter to be denied her rights. I cannot allow my daughter to sit at

> home and

> not have a fulfilling life-whatever that may be for her. I cannot allow

> those who are out there and not fighting for our children, though it is

> their job,

> to take the easy way out.

>

> Know why people think we are pushy? Because the parents out here are worn

> down. They are tired. They are scared. They are alone. And they don't

> know

> better. It is only with information that we can achieve things for our

> children. So if they want to assume anything about us now, I guess they

> can. Sure I

> am pushy. I push for truth. I push for respect. I push for equality. I

> push for services. I push for human acceptance. I push for what is known

> to be

> right.

>

> Martha, I am tired too but I can't give up. I am tired of the " I told you

> so " but still I have to go on.

>

> I push for Patty.

>

> You go on and push for . Do the right thing, for the right reason.

>

> It's called CHARGE! But behind the CHARGE are people. Gosh darn it they

> are

> people!

>

> Chantelle, Belinda, Ellen, Chip, Patty, .......Don't give up. Keep on

> going

> positively down this road. If people don't accept you, move on. There

> are

> many, many others who will.

>

>

> Bonnie, Mom to a 23, Patty CHARGE 21, and wife to

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

you go girl!!!!! thank goodness you push--or Patty wouldn't get what she

needs and DESERVES. I hope we can all keep pushing.

Martha, Ellen, Chantelle,....

> Martha, Chantelle, Ellen,....

>

> I have been trying to figure out how to put into words what I have been

> finding out this past week. You guys are hitting it right on the spot and

> evoking

> emotions within me. I've kind of been insulted lately. I can feel in my

> bones that this will be a long post so bare with me.

>

> Lately I have had the opportunity to chat with people and " friends " from

> the

> town we moved from. I've also met with both friends and strangers in the

> deaf/blind world. Through these conversations there have often been many

> " slips "

> about me as a mother for Patty. Apparently word is out there that I am a

> " fighter " and won't back down. Apparently there is still discussion that

> I don't

> accept Patty's disabilities. UGH!!!!! I hated that statement then and I

> hate

> it now. It's even been said that there is a nice political way to push

> for a

> child's rights and then there's my way to do it. How insulting is that!

>

> My gosh that hurt me. Some of these statements were from parents (I

> thought

> were my friends) who have gone to due process for their children and won.

> Yet

> I never really told them how hard it was for Patty to receive services.

> But

> I didn't go to due process because I was afraid of that " fight " and what

> it

> would do to Patty. I tried to keep it " friendly. " The worse part of this

> is it

> is all gossip. How can that gossip continue even having moved out of

> the

> state? And yet even worse is that this assumption about me has grown now

> into

> the adult world.

>

> Sure I fought for Patty. You betcha. I had to as no one else did. Sure

> I

> tried to be nice, I tried to work together, I tried every avenue there

> was.

> But with that I also wouldn't accept or allow Patty to receive an

> inappropriate

> education-ever. I knew programs, I knew laws, I knew her rights, and more

> importantly I knew when I was being manipulated or being lied to. Sure I

> questioned authoritarian figures-when they were obviously wrong. It

> wasn't

> insulting. It was just facts. If I allowed what they offered for Patty

> she never

> would have come this far. We lived a life of " I told you so! " We still

> do.

>

> I made sure that I complimented those who did great jobs. I sent flowers

> and

> thank you cards.... But when something was wrong I did not allow that to

> continue. I brought in people to teach about CHARGE, I brought in a

> phenomenal

> person to do a " Futures Personal Plan, " we called in an outside specialist

> to be

> a mediator, we did it all the right way, and the kind way. Know what they

> said-It was all a waste of their time.

>

> When being pushed into the corner though you bet I would not allow that

> either. How is that being an aggressive person? How is truth and honesty

> being

> hard? How is it that being a parent of a child who has disabilities and

> advocating for their rights being wrong? If I did all of these and still

> am called

> pushy, hard, stubborn, then I guess I'll take that title.

>

> If I give honesty and respect then I expect the same. More than that I

> expect respect to/for/with my child. I expected it then, now and I will

> expect it

> always. I had expected that those who worked with her would learn about

> her.

> That's their job. No more and no less. If someone isn't doing their job

> then I cannot be at fault no matter how hard they try. Unbelievably when

> Patty

> graduated we even had a specialist who said with more children who have

> CHARGE

> now coming up in the ranks they thought that they should learn more about

> it.

> What about learning about my child when they were working with her?

>

> Know where I found the help? Not only from my own research, education and

> learning processes but from the Regular Ed teachers. That continued to

> the day

> she graduated-with a regular diploma and on time. We had the best

> educators

> in the state, and the worse administrator there was. SPED wasn't

> accepting of

> Patty. Educators were. It is the people who were WRONG that apparently

> continue to complain. But my gosh we moved away and moved on. I am

> surprised that

> they haven't. I do have to harden my heart with things like that or it

> would

> sadden me too much.

>

> Patty proved her potential and accomplished great things on her own, and

> continues to but still they can't see it. She did great things not

> because of

> them, but often in spite of them. Do they think we are making it up? Gosh

> it

> hurts that even now they still don't believe in her. They obviously won't

> get it

> because that just might mean they were wrong.

>

> No, Martha, I am not going away. How in the world can I? I am a mother.

> It

> would be so easy to give up and back down. It would be so easy not to

> care.

> It would be so easy to........... Oh sometimes I wish I could.

>

> But I can't. Patty deserves a life as a respected human being. No more,

> no

> less. Each and every one of our children do. CHARGE doesn't go away. I

> want

> to scream that from the top of the world. Patty doesn't go away and so I

> cannot go away. That doesn't mean I am not a nice person. My gosh I

> think I

> care too much about peoples feelings, even mean people. But I cannot

> allow my

> daughter to be denied her rights. I cannot allow my daughter to sit at

> home and

> not have a fulfilling life-whatever that may be for her. I cannot allow

> those who are out there and not fighting for our children, though it is

> their job,

> to take the easy way out.

>

> Know why people think we are pushy? Because the parents out here are worn

> down. They are tired. They are scared. They are alone. And they don't

> know

> better. It is only with information that we can achieve things for our

> children. So if they want to assume anything about us now, I guess they

> can. Sure I

> am pushy. I push for truth. I push for respect. I push for equality. I

> push for services. I push for human acceptance. I push for what is known

> to be

> right.

>

> Martha, I am tired too but I can't give up. I am tired of the " I told you

> so " but still I have to go on.

>

> I push for Patty.

>

> You go on and push for . Do the right thing, for the right reason.

>

> It's called CHARGE! But behind the CHARGE are people. Gosh darn it they

> are

> people!

>

> Chantelle, Belinda, Ellen, Chip, Patty, .......Don't give up. Keep on

> going

> positively down this road. If people don't accept you, move on. There

> are

> many, many others who will.

>

>

> Bonnie, Mom to a 23, Patty CHARGE 21, and wife to

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

we push to but sometimes there are people who wont and soemtimes the thing

for me is i sdont know who they r if they really understand me or not

>

> you go girl!!!!! thank goodness you push--or Patty wouldn't get what she

> needs and DESERVES. I hope we can all keep pushing.

>

>

> Martha, Ellen, Chantelle,....

>

>

> > Martha, Chantelle, Ellen,....

> >

> > I have been trying to figure out how to put into words what I have been

> > finding out this past week. You guys are hitting it right on the spot

> and

> > evoking

> > emotions within me. I've kind of been insulted lately. I can feel in

> my

> > bones that this will be a long post so bare with me.

> >

> > Lately I have had the opportunity to chat with people and " friends " from

> > the

> > town we moved from. I've also met with both friends and strangers in

> the

> > deaf/blind world. Through these conversations there have often been

> many

> > " slips "

> > about me as a mother for Patty. Apparently word is out there that I am

> a

> > " fighter " and won't back down. Apparently there is still discussion

> that

> > I don't

> > accept Patty's disabilities. UGH!!!!! I hated that statement then and

> I

> > hate

> > it now. It's even been said that there is a nice political way to push

> > for a

> > child's rights and then there's my way to do it. How insulting is that!

> >

> > My gosh that hurt me. Some of these statements were from parents (I

> > thought

> > were my friends) who have gone to due process for their children and

> won.

> > Yet

> > I never really told them how hard it was for Patty to receive services.

> > But

> > I didn't go to due process because I was afraid of that " fight " and what

> > it

> > would do to Patty. I tried to keep it " friendly. " The worse part of

> this

> > is it

> > is all gossip. How can that gossip continue even having moved out of

> > the

> > state? And yet even worse is that this assumption about me has grown

> now

> > into

> > the adult world.

> >

> > Sure I fought for Patty. You betcha. I had to as no one else

> did. Sure

> > I

> > tried to be nice, I tried to work together, I tried every avenue there

> > was.

> > But with that I also wouldn't accept or allow Patty to receive an

> > inappropriate

> > education-ever. I knew programs, I knew laws, I knew her rights, and

> more

> > importantly I knew when I was being manipulated or being lied to. Sure

> I

> > questioned authoritarian figures-when they were obviously wrong. It

> > wasn't

> > insulting. It was just facts. If I allowed what they offered for Patty

> > she never

> > would have come this far. We lived a life of " I told you so! " We still

> > do.

> >

> > I made sure that I complimented those who did great jobs. I sent

> flowers

> > and

> > thank you cards.... But when something was wrong I did not allow that to

> > continue. I brought in people to teach about CHARGE, I brought in a

> > phenomenal

> > person to do a " Futures Personal Plan, " we called in an outside

> specialist

> > to be

> > a mediator, we did it all the right way, and the kind way. Know what

> they

> > said-It was all a waste of their time.

> >

> > When being pushed into the corner though you bet I would not allow that

> > either. How is that being an aggressive person? How is truth and

> honesty

> > being

> > hard? How is it that being a parent of a child who has disabilities and

> > advocating for their rights being wrong? If I did all of these and

> still

> > am called

> > pushy, hard, stubborn, then I guess I'll take that title.

> >

> > If I give honesty and respect then I expect the same. More than that I

> > expect respect to/for/with my child. I expected it then, now and I will

> > expect it

> > always. I had expected that those who worked with her would learn about

> > her.

> > That's their job. No more and no less. If someone isn't doing their

> job

> > then I cannot be at fault no matter how hard they try. Unbelievably

> when

> > Patty

> > graduated we even had a specialist who said with more children who have

> > CHARGE

> > now coming up in the ranks they thought that they should learn more

> about

> > it.

> > What about learning about my child when they were working with her?

> >

> > Know where I found the help? Not only from my own research, education

> and

> > learning processes but from the Regular Ed teachers. That continued to

> > the day

> > she graduated-with a regular diploma and on time. We had the best

> > educators

> > in the state, and the worse administrator there was. SPED wasn't

> > accepting of

> > Patty. Educators were. It is the people who were WRONG that apparently

> > continue to complain. But my gosh we moved away and moved on. I am

> > surprised that

> > they haven't. I do have to harden my heart with things like that or it

> > would

> > sadden me too much.

> >

> > Patty proved her potential and accomplished great things on her own, and

> > continues to but still they can't see it. She did great things not

> > because of

> > them, but often in spite of them. Do they think we are making it up?

> Gosh

> > it

> > hurts that even now they still don't believe in her. They obviously

> won't

> > get it

> > because that just might mean they were wrong.

> >

> > No, Martha, I am not going away. How in the world can I? I am a

> mother.

> > It

> > would be so easy to give up and back down. It would be so easy not to

> > care.

> > It would be so easy to........... Oh sometimes I wish I could.

> >

> > But I can't. Patty deserves a life as a respected human being. No

> more,

> > no

> > less. Each and every one of our children do. CHARGE doesn't go

> away. I

> > want

> > to scream that from the top of the world. Patty doesn't go away and so

> I

> > cannot go away. That doesn't mean I am not a nice person. My gosh I

> > think I

> > care too much about peoples feelings, even mean people. But I cannot

> > allow my

> > daughter to be denied her rights. I cannot allow my daughter to sit at

> > home and

> > not have a fulfilling life-whatever that may be for her. I cannot allow

> > those who are out there and not fighting for our children, though it is

> > their job,

> > to take the easy way out.

> >

> > Know why people think we are pushy? Because the parents out here are

> worn

> > down. They are tired. They are scared. They are alone. And they

> don't

> > know

> > better. It is only with information that we can achieve things for our

> > children. So if they want to assume anything about us now, I guess they

> > can. Sure I

> > am pushy. I push for truth. I push for respect. I push for

> equality. I

> > push for services. I push for human acceptance. I push for what is

> known

> > to be

> > right.

> >

> > Martha, I am tired too but I can't give up. I am tired of the " I told

> you

> > so " but still I have to go on.

> >

> > I push for Patty.

> >

> > You go on and push for . Do the right thing, for the right reason.

> >

> > It's called CHARGE! But behind the CHARGE are people. Gosh darn it

> they

> > are

> > people!

> >

> > Chantelle, Belinda, Ellen, Chip, Patty, .......Don't give up. Keep on

> > going

> > positively down this road. If people don't accept you, move on. There

> > are

> > many, many others who will.

> >

> >

> > Bonnie, Mom to a 23, Patty CHARGE 21, and wife to

> >

> >

> >