Guest guest Posted November 30, 2005 Report Share Posted November 30, 2005 Tammy , So many of us here know exactly where your coming from. Your days sound like most of my days. I do still get some good days where I can actulally get some dishes done or cleaning , but when i do then the next few days forget getting out of bed I am totallly exhausted.I go to bed at night and wake up feeling like I ran the Boston Marathon. I usually go to bed with a headache or wake up with one, no getting away from it. you have come to the right place these ladies have taught me a few things i just a short period of time. Tinatammyco5@... wrote: I'm just going to vent!!! I don't know where my life went...I guess to hypohell! All I do all day is lay around on my fat rear and watch tv and mess around on the computer when I feel up to it. This has been like this for at least a year and I just hate myself for it. I feel lazy and depressed so often and I can really relate to those of you who talk about the depression and suicidal thoughts. I can't wait until it's time to go to sleep every night but I can't sleep these days unless I take Ambien or Lunesta. I know they're addictive but if I don't sleep I think I would kill myself! I won't end my life because I have a 7 yr. old but I feel so bad that I don't spend time with him and I am angry a lot. I am hoping that I will get better with the meds and after all my tests are done. Okay....I'm done venting. Thanks for listening and understanding. I used to have my own business and had a lot of friends, volunteered at my son's school, etc. The days are sooo long! I miss having a purpose in life. Tammy Tina JJOIPPKOOUNUJOP'IUJK0--9UTINA MK-099-99\OP'[-0 I]9IKI099 U[ Yahoo! Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs. Try it free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2005 Report Share Posted November 30, 2005 Tammy , So many of us here know exactly where your coming from. Your days sound like most of my days. I do still get some good days where I can actulally get some dishes done or cleaning , but when i do then the next few days forget getting out of bed I am totallly exhausted.I go to bed at night and wake up feeling like I ran the Boston Marathon. I usually go to bed with a headache or wake up with one, no getting away from it. you have come to the right place these ladies have taught me a few things i just a short period of time. Tinatammyco5@... wrote: I'm just going to vent!!! I don't know where my life went...I guess to hypohell! All I do all day is lay around on my fat rear and watch tv and mess around on the computer when I feel up to it. This has been like this for at least a year and I just hate myself for it. I feel lazy and depressed so often and I can really relate to those of you who talk about the depression and suicidal thoughts. I can't wait until it's time to go to sleep every night but I can't sleep these days unless I take Ambien or Lunesta. I know they're addictive but if I don't sleep I think I would kill myself! I won't end my life because I have a 7 yr. old but I feel so bad that I don't spend time with him and I am angry a lot. I am hoping that I will get better with the meds and after all my tests are done. Okay....I'm done venting. Thanks for listening and understanding. I used to have my own business and had a lot of friends, volunteered at my son's school, etc. The days are sooo long! I miss having a purpose in life. Tammy Tina JJOIPPKOOUNUJOP'IUJK0--9UTINA MK-099-99\OP'[-0 I]9IKI099 U[ Yahoo! Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs. Try it free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2005 Report Share Posted November 30, 2005 Tammy , So many of us here know exactly where your coming from. Your days sound like most of my days. I do still get some good days where I can actulally get some dishes done or cleaning , but when i do then the next few days forget getting out of bed I am totallly exhausted.I go to bed at night and wake up feeling like I ran the Boston Marathon. I usually go to bed with a headache or wake up with one, no getting away from it. you have come to the right place these ladies have taught me a few things i just a short period of time. Tinatammyco5@... wrote: I'm just going to vent!!! I don't know where my life went...I guess to hypohell! All I do all day is lay around on my fat rear and watch tv and mess around on the computer when I feel up to it. This has been like this for at least a year and I just hate myself for it. I feel lazy and depressed so often and I can really relate to those of you who talk about the depression and suicidal thoughts. I can't wait until it's time to go to sleep every night but I can't sleep these days unless I take Ambien or Lunesta. I know they're addictive but if I don't sleep I think I would kill myself! I won't end my life because I have a 7 yr. old but I feel so bad that I don't spend time with him and I am angry a lot. I am hoping that I will get better with the meds and after all my tests are done. Okay....I'm done venting. Thanks for listening and understanding. I used to have my own business and had a lot of friends, volunteered at my son's school, etc. The days are sooo long! I miss having a purpose in life. Tammy Tina JJOIPPKOOUNUJOP'IUJK0--9UTINA MK-099-99\OP'[-0 I]9IKI099 U[ Yahoo! Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs. Try it free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2005 Report Share Posted November 30, 2005 hi tammy, geez, our days sound just alike! i haven't worked in 14 months, my savings is almost gone and i do what you do! its an accomplishment for me if i can wash the dishes or swipe the bathroom. i feel zero motivation for anything. yep, i can't sleep without help either,and when i try to skip the med, ha! then, i get into the cycle of depending on coffee and start craving sugar even more. so i take the pill and sleep 12 hours at a stretch and still feel sleepy and tired.it sucks doesn't it?? i'm right there with ya! take care and keep posting hugs, nitatammyco5@... wrote: I'm just going to vent!!! I don't know where my life went...I guess to hypohell! All I do all day is lay around on my fat rear and watch tv and mess around on the computer when I feel up to it. This has been like this for at least a year and I just hate myself for it. I feel lazy and depressed so often and I can really relate to those of you who talk about the depression and suicidal thoughts. I can't wait until it's time to go to sleep every night but I can't sleep these days unless I take Ambien or Lunesta. I know they're addictive but if I don't sleep I think I would kill myself! I won't end my life because I have a 7 yr. old but I feel so bad that I don't spend time with him and I am angry a lot. I am hoping that I will get better with the meds and after all my tests are done. Okay....I'm done venting. Thanks for listening and understanding. I used to have my own business and had a lot of friends, volunteered at my son's school, etc. The days are sooo long! I miss having a purpose in life. Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2005 Report Share Posted November 30, 2005 hi tammy, geez, our days sound just alike! i haven't worked in 14 months, my savings is almost gone and i do what you do! its an accomplishment for me if i can wash the dishes or swipe the bathroom. i feel zero motivation for anything. yep, i can't sleep without help either,and when i try to skip the med, ha! then, i get into the cycle of depending on coffee and start craving sugar even more. so i take the pill and sleep 12 hours at a stretch and still feel sleepy and tired.it sucks doesn't it?? i'm right there with ya! take care and keep posting hugs, nitatammyco5@... wrote: I'm just going to vent!!! I don't know where my life went...I guess to hypohell! All I do all day is lay around on my fat rear and watch tv and mess around on the computer when I feel up to it. This has been like this for at least a year and I just hate myself for it. I feel lazy and depressed so often and I can really relate to those of you who talk about the depression and suicidal thoughts. I can't wait until it's time to go to sleep every night but I can't sleep these days unless I take Ambien or Lunesta. I know they're addictive but if I don't sleep I think I would kill myself! I won't end my life because I have a 7 yr. old but I feel so bad that I don't spend time with him and I am angry a lot. I am hoping that I will get better with the meds and after all my tests are done. Okay....I'm done venting. Thanks for listening and understanding. I used to have my own business and had a lot of friends, volunteered at my son's school, etc. The days are sooo long! I miss having a purpose in life. Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2005 Report Share Posted November 30, 2005 hi tammy, geez, our days sound just alike! i haven't worked in 14 months, my savings is almost gone and i do what you do! its an accomplishment for me if i can wash the dishes or swipe the bathroom. i feel zero motivation for anything. yep, i can't sleep without help either,and when i try to skip the med, ha! then, i get into the cycle of depending on coffee and start craving sugar even more. so i take the pill and sleep 12 hours at a stretch and still feel sleepy and tired.it sucks doesn't it?? i'm right there with ya! take care and keep posting hugs, nitatammyco5@... wrote: I'm just going to vent!!! I don't know where my life went...I guess to hypohell! All I do all day is lay around on my fat rear and watch tv and mess around on the computer when I feel up to it. This has been like this for at least a year and I just hate myself for it. I feel lazy and depressed so often and I can really relate to those of you who talk about the depression and suicidal thoughts. I can't wait until it's time to go to sleep every night but I can't sleep these days unless I take Ambien or Lunesta. I know they're addictive but if I don't sleep I think I would kill myself! I won't end my life because I have a 7 yr. old but I feel so bad that I don't spend time with him and I am angry a lot. I am hoping that I will get better with the meds and after all my tests are done. Okay....I'm done venting. Thanks for listening and understanding. I used to have my own business and had a lot of friends, volunteered at my son's school, etc. The days are sooo long! I miss having a purpose in life. Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2005 Report Share Posted November 30, 2005 tammyco5@... wrote: I'm just going to vent!!! I don't know where my life went...I guess to hypohell! All I do all day is lay around on my fat rear and watch tv and mess around on the computer when I feel up to it. This has been like this for at least a year and I just hate myself for it. I feel lazy and depressed so often and I can really relate to those of you who talk about the depression and suicidal thoughts. I can't wait until it's time to go to sleep every night but I can't sleep these days unless I take Ambien or Lunesta. I know they're addictive but if I don't sleep I think I would kill myself! I won't end my life because I have a 7 yr. old but I feel so bad that I don't spend time with him and I am angry a lot. I am hoping that I will get better with the meds and after all my tests are done. Okay....I'm done venting. Thanks for listening and understanding. I used to have my own business and had a lot of friends, volunteered at my son's school, etc. The days are sooo long! I miss having a purpose in life. Tammy ------------------------------------------ Tammy: Yes. I don't have a life either. I suppose I try to look at the bright side...and keep going. Its been 20 months for me. I was 38...and now I'm gonna be 41. Very hard to think about. What dose are ya doing? What do the labs look like? I'm still tweaking and that takes a lot of patience. Warmest Regards, ~E:) ~EG Connecticut Total-T 16 months ago / 37.5 mg Synthetic/120mg Armour since August 7th Yahoo! Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs. Try it free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2005 Report Share Posted November 30, 2005 tammyco5@... wrote: I'm just going to vent!!! I don't know where my life went...I guess to hypohell! All I do all day is lay around on my fat rear and watch tv and mess around on the computer when I feel up to it. This has been like this for at least a year and I just hate myself for it. I feel lazy and depressed so often and I can really relate to those of you who talk about the depression and suicidal thoughts. I can't wait until it's time to go to sleep every night but I can't sleep these days unless I take Ambien or Lunesta. I know they're addictive but if I don't sleep I think I would kill myself! I won't end my life because I have a 7 yr. old but I feel so bad that I don't spend time with him and I am angry a lot. I am hoping that I will get better with the meds and after all my tests are done. Okay....I'm done venting. Thanks for listening and understanding. I used to have my own business and had a lot of friends, volunteered at my son's school, etc. The days are sooo long! I miss having a purpose in life. Tammy ------------------------------------------ Tammy: Yes. I don't have a life either. I suppose I try to look at the bright side...and keep going. Its been 20 months for me. I was 38...and now I'm gonna be 41. Very hard to think about. What dose are ya doing? What do the labs look like? I'm still tweaking and that takes a lot of patience. Warmest Regards, ~E:) ~EG Connecticut Total-T 16 months ago / 37.5 mg Synthetic/120mg Armour since August 7th Yahoo! Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs. Try it free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2005 Report Share Posted November 30, 2005 tammyco5@... wrote: I'm just going to vent!!! I don't know where my life went...I guess to hypohell! All I do all day is lay around on my fat rear and watch tv and mess around on the computer when I feel up to it. This has been like this for at least a year and I just hate myself for it. I feel lazy and depressed so often and I can really relate to those of you who talk about the depression and suicidal thoughts. I can't wait until it's time to go to sleep every night but I can't sleep these days unless I take Ambien or Lunesta. I know they're addictive but if I don't sleep I think I would kill myself! I won't end my life because I have a 7 yr. old but I feel so bad that I don't spend time with him and I am angry a lot. I am hoping that I will get better with the meds and after all my tests are done. Okay....I'm done venting. Thanks for listening and understanding. I used to have my own business and had a lot of friends, volunteered at my son's school, etc. The days are sooo long! I miss having a purpose in life. Tammy ------------------------------------------ Tammy: Yes. I don't have a life either. I suppose I try to look at the bright side...and keep going. Its been 20 months for me. I was 38...and now I'm gonna be 41. Very hard to think about. What dose are ya doing? What do the labs look like? I'm still tweaking and that takes a lot of patience. Warmest Regards, ~E:) ~EG Connecticut Total-T 16 months ago / 37.5 mg Synthetic/120mg Armour since August 7th Yahoo! Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs. Try it free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2005 Report Share Posted November 30, 2005 I KNOW HOW YOU GUYS FEEL I FEEL THE SAME WAY. I'M 24 I USE TO BE SO FULL OF LIFE AND I HAD SO MANY FRIENDS, BUT I'VE PUSHED SO MANY PEOPLE AWAY, SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE JUST GIVEING UP, I FEEL SO WORTHLESS AND LIKE I'M AWAYS IN EVERYONES WAY, I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANY MORE, I'D GIVE ANYTHING TO BE ME AGAIN. THANKS FOR LISTEN MUCH LOVE CARY I'm just going to vent!!! I don't know where my life went...I guess to hypohell! All I do all day is lay around on my fat rear and watch tv and mess around on the computer when I feel up to it. This has been like this for at least a year and I just hate myself for it. I feel lazy and depressed so often and I can really relate to those of you who talk about the depression and suicidal thoughts. I can't wait until it's time to go to sleep every night but I can't sleep these days unless I take Ambien or Lunesta. I know they're addictive but if I don't sleep I think I would kill myself! I won't end my life because I have a 7 yr. old but I feel so bad that I don't spend time with him and I am angry a lot. I am hoping that I will get better with the meds and after all my tests are done. Okay....I'm done venting. Thanks for listening and understanding. I used to have my own business and had a lot of friends, volunteered at my son's school, etc. The days are > sooo long! I miss having a purpose in life. > > Tammy > ------------------------------------------ > Tammy: > > Yes. I don't have a life either. I suppose I try to look at the bright side...and keep going. Its been 20 months for me. I was 38...and now I'm gonna be 41. > Very hard to think about. > > What dose are ya doing? What do the labs look like? I'm still tweaking and that takes a lot of patience. > > Warmest Regards, > > ~E:) > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2005 Report Share Posted November 30, 2005 I KNOW HOW YOU GUYS FEEL I FEEL THE SAME WAY. I'M 24 I USE TO BE SO FULL OF LIFE AND I HAD SO MANY FRIENDS, BUT I'VE PUSHED SO MANY PEOPLE AWAY, SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE JUST GIVEING UP, I FEEL SO WORTHLESS AND LIKE I'M AWAYS IN EVERYONES WAY, I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANY MORE, I'D GIVE ANYTHING TO BE ME AGAIN. THANKS FOR LISTEN MUCH LOVE CARY I'm just going to vent!!! I don't know where my life went...I guess to hypohell! All I do all day is lay around on my fat rear and watch tv and mess around on the computer when I feel up to it. This has been like this for at least a year and I just hate myself for it. I feel lazy and depressed so often and I can really relate to those of you who talk about the depression and suicidal thoughts. I can't wait until it's time to go to sleep every night but I can't sleep these days unless I take Ambien or Lunesta. I know they're addictive but if I don't sleep I think I would kill myself! I won't end my life because I have a 7 yr. old but I feel so bad that I don't spend time with him and I am angry a lot. I am hoping that I will get better with the meds and after all my tests are done. Okay....I'm done venting. Thanks for listening and understanding. I used to have my own business and had a lot of friends, volunteered at my son's school, etc. The days are > sooo long! I miss having a purpose in life. > > Tammy > ------------------------------------------ > Tammy: > > Yes. I don't have a life either. I suppose I try to look at the bright side...and keep going. Its been 20 months for me. I was 38...and now I'm gonna be 41. > Very hard to think about. > > What dose are ya doing? What do the labs look like? I'm still tweaking and that takes a lot of patience. > > Warmest Regards, > > ~E:) > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2005 Report Share Posted November 30, 2005 I KNOW HOW YOU GUYS FEEL I FEEL THE SAME WAY. I'M 24 I USE TO BE SO FULL OF LIFE AND I HAD SO MANY FRIENDS, BUT I'VE PUSHED SO MANY PEOPLE AWAY, SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE JUST GIVEING UP, I FEEL SO WORTHLESS AND LIKE I'M AWAYS IN EVERYONES WAY, I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANY MORE, I'D GIVE ANYTHING TO BE ME AGAIN. THANKS FOR LISTEN MUCH LOVE CARY I'm just going to vent!!! I don't know where my life went...I guess to hypohell! All I do all day is lay around on my fat rear and watch tv and mess around on the computer when I feel up to it. This has been like this for at least a year and I just hate myself for it. I feel lazy and depressed so often and I can really relate to those of you who talk about the depression and suicidal thoughts. I can't wait until it's time to go to sleep every night but I can't sleep these days unless I take Ambien or Lunesta. I know they're addictive but if I don't sleep I think I would kill myself! I won't end my life because I have a 7 yr. old but I feel so bad that I don't spend time with him and I am angry a lot. I am hoping that I will get better with the meds and after all my tests are done. Okay....I'm done venting. Thanks for listening and understanding. I used to have my own business and had a lot of friends, volunteered at my son's school, etc. The days are > sooo long! I miss having a purpose in life. > > Tammy > ------------------------------------------ > Tammy: > > Yes. I don't have a life either. I suppose I try to look at the bright side...and keep going. Its been 20 months for me. I was 38...and now I'm gonna be 41. > Very hard to think about. > > What dose are ya doing? What do the labs look like? I'm still tweaking and that takes a lot of patience. > > Warmest Regards, > > ~E:) > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 1, 2005 Report Share Posted December 1, 2005 > > I'm just going to vent!!! I don't know where my life went...I guess to > hypohell! SNIP! I miss having a > purpose in life. > > Tammy > Hey Tammy, I know what you mean! I know there are many here who feel the same way you do, myself included. Up until about 4 years ago, I worked a lot and could do just about anything i wanted. Then all the sudden I just went crazy, started gaining weight, couldnt think straight, couldnt do much of thing....finally my doc says I have hypothyroid....two years ago now. I am taking 150 mcgs of levoxyl but I still dont feel better, my doc has decided that T4 is enough for me, so I have decided to do it myself...I want my life back, I want to be who I used to physically and mentally! I am so tired of being sick and tired and feeling poopy all the time!! Just wanted you to know that you are definetly not alone! Big soft hugs, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 1, 2005 Report Share Posted December 1, 2005 This hit me so hard between the eyes... I started cussing out the ceiling... I have the added challenge of pretty much being house bound, not due to my health anymore.... mental or physical... but because I'm just too broke and resource poor to be able to go anywhere.... It's gonna sound lame... but for me... I've had to 'invent' things to do to be more active, mentally and physically... to give myself a reason to get up and be a person...and not just a lump on the bed.. or a lump in front of the TV.... When you don't WANT to do anything... it makes it even harder for your body and your mind to be more active.... That sounds weird..... Consider this... you're not strong enough to be outside and on the town... you get bummed out cuz you're stuck at home and there is nothing to do... so with nothing to do, nothing to do that you want to do, that is fun to do... you just sit (like I did) and feel that much more sorry for yourself.... That doesn't do any good... Now... when you are finished yelling at the monitor, at me...... Kick your imagination into gear.... what can you do, that would be fun, that is in the range of your current level of physical and mental self? Think of hobbies... or projects... Think of things that you've never done before cuz there was too much other stuff going on.... It could be reading a book, putting a puzzle together, taking up painting or model building. Refinishing a table, reupholstering a chair. Sewing. Writing a book (which is the thing that I did to get me up and moving and looking at tomorrow). Once you can get excited about something.. have something to look forward to... it gets easier to get up out of bed....to get moving again.... It's a whole new way of looking at things.... it's different than what other folks do.... Ponder on it..... see what things that you can come up with that excite you.... It's the first step.. that very first step that is the (expletive deleted) hardest to do..... Okay... the dork thing.... start thinking of the things you CAN instead of the things that you CAN'T anymore. Topper () On Wed, 30 Nov 2005 18:49:03 EST tammyco5@... writes: I'm just going to vent!!! I don't know where my life went...I guess to hypohell! All I do all day is lay around on my fat rear and watch tv and mess around on the computer when I feel up to it. This has been like this for at least a year and I just hate myself for it. I feel lazy and depressed so often and I can really relate to those of you who talk about the depression and suicidal thoughts. I can't wait until it's time to go to sleep every night but I can't sleep these days unless I take Ambien or Lunesta. I know they're addictive but if I don't sleep I think I would kill myself! I won't end my life because I have a 7 yr. old but I feel so bad that I don't spend time with him and I am angry a lot. I am hoping that I will get better with the meds and after all my tests are done. Okay....I'm done venting. Thanks for listening and understanding. I used to have my own business and had a lot of friends, volunteered at my son's school, etc. The days are sooo long! I miss having a purpose in life. Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 1, 2005 Report Share Posted December 1, 2005 This hit me so hard between the eyes... I started cussing out the ceiling... I have the added challenge of pretty much being house bound, not due to my health anymore.... mental or physical... but because I'm just too broke and resource poor to be able to go anywhere.... It's gonna sound lame... but for me... I've had to 'invent' things to do to be more active, mentally and physically... to give myself a reason to get up and be a person...and not just a lump on the bed.. or a lump in front of the TV.... When you don't WANT to do anything... it makes it even harder for your body and your mind to be more active.... That sounds weird..... Consider this... you're not strong enough to be outside and on the town... you get bummed out cuz you're stuck at home and there is nothing to do... so with nothing to do, nothing to do that you want to do, that is fun to do... you just sit (like I did) and feel that much more sorry for yourself.... That doesn't do any good... Now... when you are finished yelling at the monitor, at me...... Kick your imagination into gear.... what can you do, that would be fun, that is in the range of your current level of physical and mental self? Think of hobbies... or projects... Think of things that you've never done before cuz there was too much other stuff going on.... It could be reading a book, putting a puzzle together, taking up painting or model building. Refinishing a table, reupholstering a chair. Sewing. Writing a book (which is the thing that I did to get me up and moving and looking at tomorrow). Once you can get excited about something.. have something to look forward to... it gets easier to get up out of bed....to get moving again.... It's a whole new way of looking at things.... it's different than what other folks do.... Ponder on it..... see what things that you can come up with that excite you.... It's the first step.. that very first step that is the (expletive deleted) hardest to do..... Okay... the dork thing.... start thinking of the things you CAN instead of the things that you CAN'T anymore. Topper () On Wed, 30 Nov 2005 18:49:03 EST tammyco5@... writes: I'm just going to vent!!! I don't know where my life went...I guess to hypohell! All I do all day is lay around on my fat rear and watch tv and mess around on the computer when I feel up to it. This has been like this for at least a year and I just hate myself for it. I feel lazy and depressed so often and I can really relate to those of you who talk about the depression and suicidal thoughts. I can't wait until it's time to go to sleep every night but I can't sleep these days unless I take Ambien or Lunesta. I know they're addictive but if I don't sleep I think I would kill myself! I won't end my life because I have a 7 yr. old but I feel so bad that I don't spend time with him and I am angry a lot. I am hoping that I will get better with the meds and after all my tests are done. Okay....I'm done venting. Thanks for listening and understanding. I used to have my own business and had a lot of friends, volunteered at my son's school, etc. The days are sooo long! I miss having a purpose in life. Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 1, 2005 Report Share Posted December 1, 2005 This hit me so hard between the eyes... I started cussing out the ceiling... Hi , I am not sure how to take this! lol! Thank you for the advice though. I wish I could do what I have enjoyed in the past. I used to read and liked to cook, and a lot of more things. I just don't have it in me though. I don't mean to sound like I am having a pity party. I am not like that at all. I try in all my strength to do something productive. I literally can't right now. I thank you for all that you do for me and all of us to improve our life with this Thyroid problem! I have been on and have tried many antidepressants. I'm on Prozac right now which I have been on and off for years. It gets tiring...I'm sick of the meds and the psychs! Hugs, Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 1, 2005 Report Share Posted December 1, 2005 This hit me so hard between the eyes... I started cussing out the ceiling... Hi , I am not sure how to take this! lol! Thank you for the advice though. I wish I could do what I have enjoyed in the past. I used to read and liked to cook, and a lot of more things. I just don't have it in me though. I don't mean to sound like I am having a pity party. I am not like that at all. I try in all my strength to do something productive. I literally can't right now. I thank you for all that you do for me and all of us to improve our life with this Thyroid problem! I have been on and have tried many antidepressants. I'm on Prozac right now which I have been on and off for years. It gets tiring...I'm sick of the meds and the psychs! Hugs, Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 1, 2005 Report Share Posted December 1, 2005 This hit me so hard between the eyes... I started cussing out the ceiling... Hi , I am not sure how to take this! lol! Thank you for the advice though. I wish I could do what I have enjoyed in the past. I used to read and liked to cook, and a lot of more things. I just don't have it in me though. I don't mean to sound like I am having a pity party. I am not like that at all. I try in all my strength to do something productive. I literally can't right now. I thank you for all that you do for me and all of us to improve our life with this Thyroid problem! I have been on and have tried many antidepressants. I'm on Prozac right now which I have been on and off for years. It gets tiring...I'm sick of the meds and the psychs! Hugs, Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 1, 2005 Report Share Posted December 1, 2005 At the beginning of 2004 when I was very hypo, not able to walk or work I realised that the only way I was ever going to get out of the 'pit' was to help myself. I was able to spend short periods of time on the computer researching this condition; short periods of time because my memory and concentration were shot to pieces. So much solitude gave me time and space to think about the direction my life had taken and to reflect on the hopes and aspirations that had filled my head as a teenager and young adult. I thought that I would spend my life painting. I worked as an art teacher for many years, taking an occasional commision for portraits, then I trained as a counsellor and worked with troubled youngsters. My dreams were drowned by the necessity to have a regular income to support my own children. But there I was at home, unable to work, unable to drive.......marooned. But my easel was there and I could perch on a stool for an hour, and somebody commisioned me to paint a portrait. Now I so much better I am back at work as a teacher but the reconnection I made with my earlier dreams means that I make time for painting too. This may make me sound a bit like a 'Pollyanna' but I do think that even in the most dreadful circumstances there are flakes of gold to be found. I am not belittling your horrible circumstances; I remember only too clearly how ill and desperate I felt, how I longed for darkness and for the day to be over. Please don't hate yourself. I found something inside me that I could still love and nurture and I've learned to like myself again. The real you is still there, the business woman, the parent helper, the lover, the parent, the friend. Getting better is a pretty good purpose, and venting is a pretty good start! > > On Wed, 30 Nov 2005 18:49:03 EST tammyco5@... > writes: > I'm just going to vent!!! I don't know where my life > went...I guess to > hypohell! All I do all day is lay around on my fat > rear and watch tv and > mess around on the computer when I feel up to it. > This has been like this > for at least a year and I just hate myself for it. I > feel lazy and > depressed so often and I can really relate to those > of you who talk about > the depression and suicidal thoughts. I can't wait > until it's time to go > to sleep every night but I can't sleep these days > unless I take Ambien or > Lunesta. I know they're addictive but if I don't > sleep I think I would > kill myself! I won't end my life because I have a > 7 yr. old but I feel > so bad that I don't spend time with him and I am > angry a lot. I am hoping > that I will get better with the meds and after all > my tests are done. > Okay....I'm done venting. Thanks for listening and > understanding. I used > to have my own business and had a lot of friends, > volunteered at my son's > school, etc. The days are sooo long! I miss having > a purpose in life. > > Tammy __________________________________ Start your day with Yahoo! - Make it your home page! http://www.yahoo.com/r/hs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 1, 2005 Report Share Posted December 1, 2005 At the beginning of 2004 when I was very hypo, not able to walk or work I realised that the only way I was ever going to get out of the 'pit' was to help myself. I was able to spend short periods of time on the computer researching this condition; short periods of time because my memory and concentration were shot to pieces. So much solitude gave me time and space to think about the direction my life had taken and to reflect on the hopes and aspirations that had filled my head as a teenager and young adult. I thought that I would spend my life painting. I worked as an art teacher for many years, taking an occasional commision for portraits, then I trained as a counsellor and worked with troubled youngsters. My dreams were drowned by the necessity to have a regular income to support my own children. But there I was at home, unable to work, unable to drive.......marooned. But my easel was there and I could perch on a stool for an hour, and somebody commisioned me to paint a portrait. Now I so much better I am back at work as a teacher but the reconnection I made with my earlier dreams means that I make time for painting too. This may make me sound a bit like a 'Pollyanna' but I do think that even in the most dreadful circumstances there are flakes of gold to be found. I am not belittling your horrible circumstances; I remember only too clearly how ill and desperate I felt, how I longed for darkness and for the day to be over. Please don't hate yourself. I found something inside me that I could still love and nurture and I've learned to like myself again. The real you is still there, the business woman, the parent helper, the lover, the parent, the friend. Getting better is a pretty good purpose, and venting is a pretty good start! > > On Wed, 30 Nov 2005 18:49:03 EST tammyco5@... > writes: > I'm just going to vent!!! I don't know where my life > went...I guess to > hypohell! All I do all day is lay around on my fat > rear and watch tv and > mess around on the computer when I feel up to it. > This has been like this > for at least a year and I just hate myself for it. I > feel lazy and > depressed so often and I can really relate to those > of you who talk about > the depression and suicidal thoughts. I can't wait > until it's time to go > to sleep every night but I can't sleep these days > unless I take Ambien or > Lunesta. I know they're addictive but if I don't > sleep I think I would > kill myself! I won't end my life because I have a > 7 yr. old but I feel > so bad that I don't spend time with him and I am > angry a lot. I am hoping > that I will get better with the meds and after all > my tests are done. > Okay....I'm done venting. Thanks for listening and > understanding. I used > to have my own business and had a lot of friends, > volunteered at my son's > school, etc. The days are sooo long! I miss having > a purpose in life. > > Tammy __________________________________ Start your day with Yahoo! - Make it your home page! http://www.yahoo.com/r/hs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 1, 2005 Report Share Posted December 1, 2005 At the beginning of 2004 when I was very hypo, not able to walk or work I realised that the only way I was ever going to get out of the 'pit' was to help myself. I was able to spend short periods of time on the computer researching this condition; short periods of time because my memory and concentration were shot to pieces. So much solitude gave me time and space to think about the direction my life had taken and to reflect on the hopes and aspirations that had filled my head as a teenager and young adult. I thought that I would spend my life painting. I worked as an art teacher for many years, taking an occasional commision for portraits, then I trained as a counsellor and worked with troubled youngsters. My dreams were drowned by the necessity to have a regular income to support my own children. But there I was at home, unable to work, unable to drive.......marooned. But my easel was there and I could perch on a stool for an hour, and somebody commisioned me to paint a portrait. Now I so much better I am back at work as a teacher but the reconnection I made with my earlier dreams means that I make time for painting too. This may make me sound a bit like a 'Pollyanna' but I do think that even in the most dreadful circumstances there are flakes of gold to be found. I am not belittling your horrible circumstances; I remember only too clearly how ill and desperate I felt, how I longed for darkness and for the day to be over. Please don't hate yourself. I found something inside me that I could still love and nurture and I've learned to like myself again. The real you is still there, the business woman, the parent helper, the lover, the parent, the friend. Getting better is a pretty good purpose, and venting is a pretty good start! > > On Wed, 30 Nov 2005 18:49:03 EST tammyco5@... > writes: > I'm just going to vent!!! I don't know where my life > went...I guess to > hypohell! All I do all day is lay around on my fat > rear and watch tv and > mess around on the computer when I feel up to it. > This has been like this > for at least a year and I just hate myself for it. I > feel lazy and > depressed so often and I can really relate to those > of you who talk about > the depression and suicidal thoughts. I can't wait > until it's time to go > to sleep every night but I can't sleep these days > unless I take Ambien or > Lunesta. I know they're addictive but if I don't > sleep I think I would > kill myself! I won't end my life because I have a > 7 yr. old but I feel > so bad that I don't spend time with him and I am > angry a lot. I am hoping > that I will get better with the meds and after all > my tests are done. > Okay....I'm done venting. Thanks for listening and > understanding. I used > to have my own business and had a lot of friends, > volunteered at my son's > school, etc. The days are sooo long! I miss having > a purpose in life. > > Tammy __________________________________ Start your day with Yahoo! - Make it your home page! http://www.yahoo.com/r/hs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 1, 2005 Report Share Posted December 1, 2005 Tammy I know how you feel. I have felt suicidal too at times and it is understanding when you are suffering and feel like you can not go any where or do anything. I too have children. Two girls and I have felt guilty when they want to do things or go somewhere and I am not up to it. I know most of my problems have been from my thyroid levels being too low and my Ferrintin level being so low. That is my Iron level and when that is low nothing can work for you not even your thyroid medicine. I just started this week taking Iron supplements and they have been making such a big help to me and I pray that it will result with me being on the mend soon. Do not give up and remember that you are not alone. I cry out to God when things get rough and if you just sit down and pray for yourself and your son you will see how God will bless you in so many ways you could not imagine. I will keep you in my prayers and I pray that you will be well real soon. God bless you Theresa > > I'm just going to vent!!! I don't know where my life went...I guess to > hypohell! All I do all day is lay around on my fat rear and watch tv and mess > around on the computer when I feel up to it. This has been like this for at least > a year and I just hate myself for it. I feel lazy and depressed so often and > I can really relate to those of you who talk about the depression and > suicidal thoughts. I can't wait until it's time to go to sleep every night but I > can't sleep these days unless I take Ambien or Lunesta. I know they're addictive > but if I don't sleep I think I would kill myself! I won't end my life > because I have a 7 yr. old but I feel so bad that I don't spend time with him > and I am angry a lot. I am hoping that I will get better with the meds and > after all my tests are done. Okay....I'm done venting. Thanks for listening and > understanding. I used to have my own business and had a lot of friends, > volunteered at my son's school, etc. The days are sooo long! I miss having a > purpose in life. > > Tammy > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 1, 2005 Report Share Posted December 1, 2005 Tammy I know how you feel. I have felt suicidal too at times and it is understanding when you are suffering and feel like you can not go any where or do anything. I too have children. Two girls and I have felt guilty when they want to do things or go somewhere and I am not up to it. I know most of my problems have been from my thyroid levels being too low and my Ferrintin level being so low. That is my Iron level and when that is low nothing can work for you not even your thyroid medicine. I just started this week taking Iron supplements and they have been making such a big help to me and I pray that it will result with me being on the mend soon. Do not give up and remember that you are not alone. I cry out to God when things get rough and if you just sit down and pray for yourself and your son you will see how God will bless you in so many ways you could not imagine. I will keep you in my prayers and I pray that you will be well real soon. God bless you Theresa > > I'm just going to vent!!! I don't know where my life went...I guess to > hypohell! All I do all day is lay around on my fat rear and watch tv and mess > around on the computer when I feel up to it. This has been like this for at least > a year and I just hate myself for it. I feel lazy and depressed so often and > I can really relate to those of you who talk about the depression and > suicidal thoughts. I can't wait until it's time to go to sleep every night but I > can't sleep these days unless I take Ambien or Lunesta. I know they're addictive > but if I don't sleep I think I would kill myself! I won't end my life > because I have a 7 yr. old but I feel so bad that I don't spend time with him > and I am angry a lot. I am hoping that I will get better with the meds and > after all my tests are done. Okay....I'm done venting. Thanks for listening and > understanding. I used to have my own business and had a lot of friends, > volunteered at my son's school, etc. The days are sooo long! I miss having a > purpose in life. > > Tammy > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 1, 2005 Report Share Posted December 1, 2005 Because of this, I discover a talent---- my PSP /graphics... I have been feeling sorry for myself lately because I am still unable to cook a meal for me and Leon.....still having tremendous weakness and lightheadedness....thinking my anemias are active again....And then I want to garden and I have that video on belly dancing..... hugs Feisty Re: Does Anyone Else Not Have A Life??? This hit me so hard between the eyes... I started cussing out the ceiling... I have the added challenge of pretty much being house bound, not due to my health anymore.... mental or physical... but because I'm just too broke and resource poor to be able to go anywhere.... It's gonna sound lame... but for me... I've had to 'invent' things to do to be more active, mentally and physically... to give myself a reason to get up and be a person...and not just a lump on the bed.. or a lump in front of the TV.... When you don't WANT to do anything... it makes it even harder for your body and your mind to be more active.... That sounds weird..... Consider this... you're not strong enough to be outside and on the town... you get bummed out cuz you're stuck at home and there is nothing to do... so with nothing to do, nothing to do that you want to do, that is fun to do... you just sit (like I did) and feel that much more sorry for yourself.... That doesn't do any good... Now... when you are finished yelling at the monitor, at me...... Kick your imagination into gear.... what can you do, that would be fun, that is in the range of your current level of physical and mental self? Think of hobbies... or projects... Think of things that you've never done before cuz there was too much other stuff going on.... It could be reading a book, putting a puzzle together, taking up painting or model building. Refinishing a table, reupholstering a chair. Sewing. Writing a book (which is the thing that I did to get me up and moving and looking at tomorrow). Once you can get excited about something.. have something to look forward to... it gets easier to get up out of bed....to get moving again.... It's a whole new way of looking at things.... it's different than what other folks do.... Ponder on it..... see what things that you can come up with that excite you.... It's the first step.. that very first step that is the (expletive deleted) hardest to do..... Okay... the dork thing.... start thinking of the things you CAN instead of the things that you CAN'T anymore. Topper () On Wed, 30 Nov 2005 18:49:03 EST tammyco5@... writes: I'm just going to vent!!! I don't know where my life went...I guess to hypohell! All I do all day is lay around on my fat rear and watch tv and mess around on the computer when I feel up to it. This has been like this for at least a year and I just hate myself for it. I feel lazy and depressed so often and I can really relate to those of you who talk about the depression and suicidal thoughts. I can't wait until it's time to go to sleep every night but I can't sleep these days unless I take Ambien or Lunesta. I know they're addictive but if I don't sleep I think I would kill myself! I won't end my life because I have a 7 yr. old but I feel so bad that I don't spend time with him and I am angry a lot. I am hoping that I will get better with the meds and after all my tests are done. Okay....I'm done venting. Thanks for listening and understanding. I used to have my own business and had a lot of friends, volunteered at my son's school, etc. The days are sooo long! I miss having a purpose in life. Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 1, 2005 Report Share Posted December 1, 2005 ....I want my life back, I want to be who I used to physically and mentally! I am so tired of being sick and tired and feeling poopy all the time!! Just wanted you to know that you are definetly not alone! I completely agree... for 5 years I have been sick and tired and lost friends because I had nothing to say on the phone.... and was tired physically and mentally.. No, I didn't want to go snowshoing, because I would be out of breath, it would be too cold, and it wouldn't be any fun because I couldn't keep up... I used to work on a ski hill for goodness sake~! now I hate winter. Thank god for electric blankets and fireplaces.. Anyway,, just want to add a small Ray of Hope.. for what its worth... since adding cytomel to the mix of dessicated thyroid, I seem to be getting back more of " Me " . or maybe a different me, one that is finally doing something she wants to do, and apparently am doing ok at it, as I have been asked to teach in two different places.. wow. to think I can actually think on a regular basis. Absolutely cannot afford to have brain fog now!!! I am still not ok for a whole week at a time. But even a couple days a week is better than before. I am hopeful that more will come/ .. It does wear me out, and am trying to be conscious of not overdoing it.. still not fixed.. yet, but at least better than before. And that is saying a heck of a lot. take care of yourselves.. Nan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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