Re: Hello!/Honest questions

[Guest guest]

hi karen.... i read your posting... i am pretty honest, so hopefully i wont

be so honest that i offend you, not my intention..

i have still a huge amount of food issues... i wish i would have

done my emotional work prior to surgery, however from october 2001 to the

scant 2 months later in december when i had my surgery i was so obsessed with

having the surgery that i didnt work on my emotional issues and with a

lifetime history of compulsive overating mixed with a past 10 year history of

bulemia, it made it much harder to cope with the after effects of the

surgery. if you know you use food as a drug, the time to deal with it is in

therapy now for the surgery as a preop as you will most likely sabotage the

effects of it in time after anyways,if you dont. its possible in the long run

of constant abuse of the new stoma to stretch it enough where you can eat

large amounts of food and you can hurt the new stoma in the process if you do

that as well as gain your weight back.

i had decided to seek therapy 2 months ago for my self

destructive behaviors however right now i am having a hard time, making time

for therapy because i have to use the time i can get off of work to deal with

my health issues and now my recently diagnosed pregancy. i havent been the

most compliant post op so far, however this baby is forcing me to be

compliant as i want to have a healthy child.

without being preachy, my advice to you would be to seek therapy

to work out your food issues prior to surgery. also what might be helpful is

to join a non pregnancy ossg board.. i live in mn and we have one, your state

should have one too.. also www.obesityhelp.com/morbid obesity is a great

website.. if you are having a tough time conceiving right now maybe you might

want to wait until after your surgery, closer to goal (unless you dont want

to have kids too far apart, the only thing is that you might have a lot of

trouble conceiving right now) they suggest its in the best interest to at

least wait 2 years after weight loss surgery before having children, although

some women have been able to carry a successful pregnancy getting pregnant

earlier then that, its not advisable though, if you can wait at all possible

then do that. if you cant work with your pcp on that on weighing the risks of

getting pregnant now compared to getting pregnant post op.....

its true some post ops experience some complications after the

surgery.. i know some people who had major ones but dont regret the surgery,

while philosophically i feel sad that we as a society from a judgement point

of view value thinness above all else, in some respects the risks we take on

when having the surgery often are much less then risks we face by remaining

morbidly obese.. my surgery if nothing else saved my life because my surgeon

during my gastric bypass found one liver mass and in follow up found another

one that if it gets any bigger could burst and i could bleed to death.. i

would have never known i had that unless i had my gastric bypass..so i know

to monitor that

anyways i wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide.. i

hope i didnt offend you at all with my posting. you are more then welcome to

email me privately if you like.. alissa post op lap rny 12-5-1 dr

ikramuddin/univ of mn hospital

wt day of sx 233 wt today my 8 month anniversary 149.5.. whoo

hoo i made it to goal today!!!! height 5'3 1/2 .........edc 3-18-3

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Welcome to the group. I too had the problem of eating ROTTEN food. I wouldnt

say that I have the fat gene or anything, but I have ALWAYS had to watch what I

ate if I wanted to stay fit, and just looking at anything fattening made me gain

5 pounds. I understand you trying to address your problems with food now

instead of just jumping into WLS and hoping that will solve everything, because

we all know it doesnt. You have to learn a new way of living with food. As for

the dumping, you are right, some of us do and some dont. I have been

unfortunate or fortunate (depending on how you look at it) to not have the sugar

dumping. In the beginning I did, but after time I can seriously eat pretty much

anything, and not have a problem. Milk gets me, thats about it, SOME dairy gets

to me as well. However, my intake is SO MUCH LESS then what it was BEFORE

surgery, and that is a godsend. If you cant overeat, then you most likely cant

gain the weight back ya know? Anyway, you should probably do some soulsearching

and find out the problem to your compulsive overeating. The surgery will most

definately help you, but you still have to work on those inner demons too. As

far as your friend who had the surgery and is always sick. I hope our fellow

" girls " arent tired of hearing me say this as this is the 3rd time I think I am

going to talk about this in the past couple of weeks lol, but I got EXTREMELY

sick after surgery. I couldnt keep any foods or liquids down within about two

months after surgery, and lost the weight WAY too fast, and I developed a

nutrional deficiency and poly neuropathy. I went downhill SO fast, I eventually

couldnt walk, write, type, feed myself, you name it. I was SO sick, and in

three different hospitals for three months. It was a nerve disorder brought on

by lack of vitamins and nutrition in my system. Eventually, and I mean a VERY

long time after, I gained some strength back and was able to write, type, feed

myself, etc. and then this past Easter started walking again. This is SO rare,

that it wasnt even in the medical journals yet. Some people will have problems

that linger after surgery, but most, and I have been on several groups, and for

the most part, you just dont have these kinds of complications after surgery. I

have yet to meet a person who has regretted their choice, with the exception of

myself there for about a year and a half lol........Do you know what kind of

ailments your friend has? Is it a direct result of the surgery itself? Or is

that just coincidence? Anyway, you have to make the decision that is right for

you, as YOU are the one that will have to live with it. Your husband sounds

great, I was very lucky to have a supportive husband as well, he loved me fat,

didnt care if I NEVER had this surgery, and he loves me now that I feel great!

I might add what a strain my getting sick put on him after the surgery, because

he was left taking care of me and our little girl, and he literally had to do

EVERYTHING for us, as I had no use of hands, arms, feet, etc. so in turn, I had

lost a tremendous amount of weight, and HE gained it. So we are now trying to

find a way for HIM to lose his excess weight, and obviously EVERYONE in my

family is VERY weary of WLS, so that's not an option. Anyway, I am sure he will

support you in whatever decision you make. Now regarding how long you should

weight to try and conceive after surgery......most doctors say 18-24 months, it

all depends on the individual doctor, mine said the 18-24 months. It is up to

you whether you decide to get pregnant NOW and THEN have the surgery after baby,

or to weight until after surgery when you are healthier (God willing). Most

women conceive just fine after surgery, even easier then before. Well I hope I

answered most of your questions, trust me there are women on this group that are

WAY more experienced then me, but these are just the things that I have learned

since having surgery, and then getting pregnant, post wls. Good luck to you!!!

Marcy Wallis

edd 12/08/02

Hello!/Honest questions

Hi there,

I just joined this list a few days ago, and I have been reading posts in

order get to know the tone of the list before posting. I am 32 years

old, married to a wonderful man and mommy to a beautiful 15 month old girl

named . I am 5'1 and currently weigh 348 pounds, so as you can

guess, I am doing a tremendous amount of research into WLS. I'd like to

take the time to ask a few really sincere and honest questions, and I hope I

am not stepping on any toes by doing so. DH and I are currently TTC our 2nd

child, so my concerns really are topical <I hope> and I am very much hoping

you ladies can give me some input.

I am obese due to compulsive overeating. I know this, I know it isn't a

case of bad genes or stress, it is my constant grazing on lousy junk food,

combined with an almost total lack of exercise. My single biggest fear

about WLS is this. If I cannot make the commitment to eating well and

exercising now........when I have every reason to want to and a very

supportive family who is concerned about me.......how can I possibly be able

to after WLS? I have heard that dumping controls the sugar problem, but I

have also heard that not everyone gets it and there is no way to predict it.

I am terrified that I would have WLS and either stay the same or be abjectly

miserable every day feeling deprived.

My second question is about quality of life after WLS. A very good friend

of mine had Lap RnY in October of 2001 and has lost 126 pounds. However,

she is constantly at the doctor for one ailment or another and although her

weight loss is wonderful, she never seems happy. I know everyone is

different, but it scares me that the only person I know face to face to look

to for experience seems so unhappy, except when she shops for clothes.

Is this common at first? Right now I have normal blood sugar, BP of 120/70

and no other co morbidities, but I also fully realize that at 348 they are

coming, it is just a matter of time. My friend is just so sick all the time

and looks so much older, well.......I guess it just makes me more scared if

that is *really* what happens after losing so much weight so quickly.

Third and last, I am concerned about pregnancy and WLS. Although, having

read just the last few days, most of fears there are already relieved. When

I went to my OB/GYN for Provera and Clomid in May he outright said I ought

to have WLS as soon as this next pregnancy is over, and that kind of got me

thinking again. If I were to opt for WLS *before* TTC, how long do they say

to wait before TTC-ing? Does it depend on the doctor?

I am soooo grateful to you for reading this and maybe helping me get a

better view of things. Please, please,please understand I am NOT here to

ask anyone to justify their choice of WLS. My questions are sincere, so

much so that I asked DH not to approach the PC while I type this, as he does

not know how I truly feel about the possibility of WLS and, at this point,

he still feels I should lose the weight by diet and not WLS. I know he'd

support me no matter what in the end, but I am speaking from the heart here

and am really interested in what you ladies have to say.

Thanks in advance!!

TTC# 2, c2, cd21, Clomid 50mg days 5-9, waiting to O

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Welcome to the group. I too had the problem of eating ROTTEN food. I wouldnt

say that I have the fat gene or anything, but I have ALWAYS had to watch what I

ate if I wanted to stay fit, and just looking at anything fattening made me gain

5 pounds. I understand you trying to address your problems with food now

instead of just jumping into WLS and hoping that will solve everything, because

we all know it doesnt. You have to learn a new way of living with food. As for

the dumping, you are right, some of us do and some dont. I have been

unfortunate or fortunate (depending on how you look at it) to not have the sugar

dumping. In the beginning I did, but after time I can seriously eat pretty much

anything, and not have a problem. Milk gets me, thats about it, SOME dairy gets

to me as well. However, my intake is SO MUCH LESS then what it was BEFORE

surgery, and that is a godsend. If you cant overeat, then you most likely cant

gain the weight back ya know? Anyway, you should probably do some soulsearching

and find out the problem to your compulsive overeating. The surgery will most

definately help you, but you still have to work on those inner demons too. As

far as your friend who had the surgery and is always sick. I hope our fellow

" girls " arent tired of hearing me say this as this is the 3rd time I think I am

going to talk about this in the past couple of weeks lol, but I got EXTREMELY

sick after surgery. I couldnt keep any foods or liquids down within about two

months after surgery, and lost the weight WAY too fast, and I developed a

nutrional deficiency and poly neuropathy. I went downhill SO fast, I eventually

couldnt walk, write, type, feed myself, you name it. I was SO sick, and in

three different hospitals for three months. It was a nerve disorder brought on

by lack of vitamins and nutrition in my system. Eventually, and I mean a VERY

long time after, I gained some strength back and was able to write, type, feed

myself, etc. and then this past Easter started walking again. This is SO rare,

that it wasnt even in the medical journals yet. Some people will have problems

that linger after surgery, but most, and I have been on several groups, and for

the most part, you just dont have these kinds of complications after surgery. I

have yet to meet a person who has regretted their choice, with the exception of

myself there for about a year and a half lol........Do you know what kind of

ailments your friend has? Is it a direct result of the surgery itself? Or is

that just coincidence? Anyway, you have to make the decision that is right for

you, as YOU are the one that will have to live with it. Your husband sounds

great, I was very lucky to have a supportive husband as well, he loved me fat,

didnt care if I NEVER had this surgery, and he loves me now that I feel great!

I might add what a strain my getting sick put on him after the surgery, because

he was left taking care of me and our little girl, and he literally had to do

EVERYTHING for us, as I had no use of hands, arms, feet, etc. so in turn, I had

lost a tremendous amount of weight, and HE gained it. So we are now trying to

find a way for HIM to lose his excess weight, and obviously EVERYONE in my

family is VERY weary of WLS, so that's not an option. Anyway, I am sure he will

support you in whatever decision you make. Now regarding how long you should

weight to try and conceive after surgery......most doctors say 18-24 months, it

all depends on the individual doctor, mine said the 18-24 months. It is up to

you whether you decide to get pregnant NOW and THEN have the surgery after baby,

or to weight until after surgery when you are healthier (God willing). Most

women conceive just fine after surgery, even easier then before. Well I hope I

answered most of your questions, trust me there are women on this group that are

WAY more experienced then me, but these are just the things that I have learned

since having surgery, and then getting pregnant, post wls. Good luck to you!!!

Marcy Wallis

edd 12/08/02

Hello!/Honest questions

Hi there,

I just joined this list a few days ago, and I have been reading posts in

order get to know the tone of the list before posting. I am 32 years

old, married to a wonderful man and mommy to a beautiful 15 month old girl

named . I am 5'1 and currently weigh 348 pounds, so as you can

guess, I am doing a tremendous amount of research into WLS. I'd like to

take the time to ask a few really sincere and honest questions, and I hope I

am not stepping on any toes by doing so. DH and I are currently TTC our 2nd

child, so my concerns really are topical <I hope> and I am very much hoping

you ladies can give me some input.

I am obese due to compulsive overeating. I know this, I know it isn't a

case of bad genes or stress, it is my constant grazing on lousy junk food,

combined with an almost total lack of exercise. My single biggest fear

about WLS is this. If I cannot make the commitment to eating well and

exercising now........when I have every reason to want to and a very

supportive family who is concerned about me.......how can I possibly be able

to after WLS? I have heard that dumping controls the sugar problem, but I

have also heard that not everyone gets it and there is no way to predict it.

I am terrified that I would have WLS and either stay the same or be abjectly

miserable every day feeling deprived.

My second question is about quality of life after WLS. A very good friend

of mine had Lap RnY in October of 2001 and has lost 126 pounds. However,

she is constantly at the doctor for one ailment or another and although her

weight loss is wonderful, she never seems happy. I know everyone is

different, but it scares me that the only person I know face to face to look

to for experience seems so unhappy, except when she shops for clothes.

Is this common at first? Right now I have normal blood sugar, BP of 120/70

and no other co morbidities, but I also fully realize that at 348 they are

coming, it is just a matter of time. My friend is just so sick all the time

and looks so much older, well.......I guess it just makes me more scared if

that is *really* what happens after losing so much weight so quickly.

Third and last, I am concerned about pregnancy and WLS. Although, having

read just the last few days, most of fears there are already relieved. When

I went to my OB/GYN for Provera and Clomid in May he outright said I ought

to have WLS as soon as this next pregnancy is over, and that kind of got me

thinking again. If I were to opt for WLS *before* TTC, how long do they say

to wait before TTC-ing? Does it depend on the doctor?

I am soooo grateful to you for reading this and maybe helping me get a

better view of things. Please, please,please understand I am NOT here to

ask anyone to justify their choice of WLS. My questions are sincere, so

much so that I asked DH not to approach the PC while I type this, as he does

not know how I truly feel about the possibility of WLS and, at this point,

he still feels I should lose the weight by diet and not WLS. I know he'd

support me no matter what in the end, but I am speaking from the heart here

and am really interested in what you ladies have to say.

Thanks in advance!!

TTC# 2, c2, cd21, Clomid 50mg days 5-9, waiting to O

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Welcome to the group. I too had the problem of eating ROTTEN food. I wouldnt

say that I have the fat gene or anything, but I have ALWAYS had to watch what I

ate if I wanted to stay fit, and just looking at anything fattening made me gain

5 pounds. I understand you trying to address your problems with food now

instead of just jumping into WLS and hoping that will solve everything, because

we all know it doesnt. You have to learn a new way of living with food. As for

the dumping, you are right, some of us do and some dont. I have been

unfortunate or fortunate (depending on how you look at it) to not have the sugar

dumping. In the beginning I did, but after time I can seriously eat pretty much

anything, and not have a problem. Milk gets me, thats about it, SOME dairy gets

to me as well. However, my intake is SO MUCH LESS then what it was BEFORE

surgery, and that is a godsend. If you cant overeat, then you most likely cant

gain the weight back ya know? Anyway, you should probably do some soulsearching

and find out the problem to your compulsive overeating. The surgery will most

definately help you, but you still have to work on those inner demons too. As

far as your friend who had the surgery and is always sick. I hope our fellow

" girls " arent tired of hearing me say this as this is the 3rd time I think I am

going to talk about this in the past couple of weeks lol, but I got EXTREMELY

sick after surgery. I couldnt keep any foods or liquids down within about two

months after surgery, and lost the weight WAY too fast, and I developed a

nutrional deficiency and poly neuropathy. I went downhill SO fast, I eventually

couldnt walk, write, type, feed myself, you name it. I was SO sick, and in

three different hospitals for three months. It was a nerve disorder brought on

by lack of vitamins and nutrition in my system. Eventually, and I mean a VERY

long time after, I gained some strength back and was able to write, type, feed

myself, etc. and then this past Easter started walking again. This is SO rare,

that it wasnt even in the medical journals yet. Some people will have problems

that linger after surgery, but most, and I have been on several groups, and for

the most part, you just dont have these kinds of complications after surgery. I

have yet to meet a person who has regretted their choice, with the exception of

myself there for about a year and a half lol........Do you know what kind of

ailments your friend has? Is it a direct result of the surgery itself? Or is

that just coincidence? Anyway, you have to make the decision that is right for

you, as YOU are the one that will have to live with it. Your husband sounds

great, I was very lucky to have a supportive husband as well, he loved me fat,

didnt care if I NEVER had this surgery, and he loves me now that I feel great!

I might add what a strain my getting sick put on him after the surgery, because

he was left taking care of me and our little girl, and he literally had to do

EVERYTHING for us, as I had no use of hands, arms, feet, etc. so in turn, I had

lost a tremendous amount of weight, and HE gained it. So we are now trying to

find a way for HIM to lose his excess weight, and obviously EVERYONE in my

family is VERY weary of WLS, so that's not an option. Anyway, I am sure he will

support you in whatever decision you make. Now regarding how long you should

weight to try and conceive after surgery......most doctors say 18-24 months, it

all depends on the individual doctor, mine said the 18-24 months. It is up to

you whether you decide to get pregnant NOW and THEN have the surgery after baby,

or to weight until after surgery when you are healthier (God willing). Most

women conceive just fine after surgery, even easier then before. Well I hope I

answered most of your questions, trust me there are women on this group that are

WAY more experienced then me, but these are just the things that I have learned

since having surgery, and then getting pregnant, post wls. Good luck to you!!!

Marcy Wallis

edd 12/08/02

Hello!/Honest questions

Hi there,

I just joined this list a few days ago, and I have been reading posts in

order get to know the tone of the list before posting. I am 32 years

old, married to a wonderful man and mommy to a beautiful 15 month old girl

named . I am 5'1 and currently weigh 348 pounds, so as you can

guess, I am doing a tremendous amount of research into WLS. I'd like to

take the time to ask a few really sincere and honest questions, and I hope I

am not stepping on any toes by doing so. DH and I are currently TTC our 2nd

child, so my concerns really are topical <I hope> and I am very much hoping

you ladies can give me some input.

I am obese due to compulsive overeating. I know this, I know it isn't a

case of bad genes or stress, it is my constant grazing on lousy junk food,

combined with an almost total lack of exercise. My single biggest fear

about WLS is this. If I cannot make the commitment to eating well and

exercising now........when I have every reason to want to and a very

supportive family who is concerned about me.......how can I possibly be able

to after WLS? I have heard that dumping controls the sugar problem, but I

have also heard that not everyone gets it and there is no way to predict it.

I am terrified that I would have WLS and either stay the same or be abjectly

miserable every day feeling deprived.

My second question is about quality of life after WLS. A very good friend

of mine had Lap RnY in October of 2001 and has lost 126 pounds. However,

she is constantly at the doctor for one ailment or another and although her

weight loss is wonderful, she never seems happy. I know everyone is

different, but it scares me that the only person I know face to face to look

to for experience seems so unhappy, except when she shops for clothes.

Is this common at first? Right now I have normal blood sugar, BP of 120/70

and no other co morbidities, but I also fully realize that at 348 they are

coming, it is just a matter of time. My friend is just so sick all the time

and looks so much older, well.......I guess it just makes me more scared if

that is *really* what happens after losing so much weight so quickly.

Third and last, I am concerned about pregnancy and WLS. Although, having

read just the last few days, most of fears there are already relieved. When

I went to my OB/GYN for Provera and Clomid in May he outright said I ought

to have WLS as soon as this next pregnancy is over, and that kind of got me

thinking again. If I were to opt for WLS *before* TTC, how long do they say

to wait before TTC-ing? Does it depend on the doctor?

I am soooo grateful to you for reading this and maybe helping me get a

better view of things. Please, please,please understand I am NOT here to

ask anyone to justify their choice of WLS. My questions are sincere, so

much so that I asked DH not to approach the PC while I type this, as he does

not know how I truly feel about the possibility of WLS and, at this point,

he still feels I should lose the weight by diet and not WLS. I know he'd

support me no matter what in the end, but I am speaking from the heart here

and am really interested in what you ladies have to say.

Thanks in advance!!

TTC# 2, c2, cd21, Clomid 50mg days 5-9, waiting to O

[Guest guest]

,

Welcome to the group!! I am in the same boat as

your in. Though I can say that im not a big junk food

fan and the dr gets really suprised when I tell her

that im not big on fried foods either...im a total

carb junkie!!! Milk and bread are the biggest of my

problems. Not that I eat bread everyday but girl I can

go through a gallon of milk a day easily. Other then

the milk issue though I will admit to eating lots of

meat..usually grilled or baked and a ton of veggies oh

and potatoes are a big problem..luv em baked with

margerine and sour cream...

I have herd and witnessed a lot of people who

honeslty looked better and felt better health wise

before wls compared to after. I have very few co

morbities biggest problems are gerd,IBS (which oddly

enough acts up really bad when I add fried soods or

sugar been that way since gullbladder removal 7 years

ago) insomnia which i believe is due to sleep apnea

but never diagnosed and total lack of energy. For me

personally if I dont get this weight off I know that

it will kill me.I get pain in my chest when I walk

around to much and my knees are getting horrible,there

are days when I cant make it off the couch because im

so tired and when I attempt even low impact exercise

like walking to the corner or up a flight of stairs I

cant breath. I know that wls is definatly my only

option. Now its a matter of switching insurance and

getting in to see a dr in my area. Which by the way I

have been putting off because im afraide that if I

cant control my eating now...low will power..how will

I do it after. Then I visit these support groups and

realize that there are so many that have gone through

the exact same thing and have managed and those people

have been my inspiration.

Ok well this is long enough if you would like to

write me off list your more then welcome to.

Tara

=====

Brightest Blessings to you and yours.

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

,

Welcome to the group!! I am in the same boat as

your in. Though I can say that im not a big junk food

fan and the dr gets really suprised when I tell her

that im not big on fried foods either...im a total

carb junkie!!! Milk and bread are the biggest of my

problems. Not that I eat bread everyday but girl I can

go through a gallon of milk a day easily. Other then

the milk issue though I will admit to eating lots of

meat..usually grilled or baked and a ton of veggies oh

and potatoes are a big problem..luv em baked with

margerine and sour cream...

I have herd and witnessed a lot of people who

honeslty looked better and felt better health wise

before wls compared to after. I have very few co

morbities biggest problems are gerd,IBS (which oddly

enough acts up really bad when I add fried soods or

sugar been that way since gullbladder removal 7 years

ago) insomnia which i believe is due to sleep apnea

but never diagnosed and total lack of energy. For me

personally if I dont get this weight off I know that

it will kill me.I get pain in my chest when I walk

around to much and my knees are getting horrible,there

are days when I cant make it off the couch because im

so tired and when I attempt even low impact exercise

like walking to the corner or up a flight of stairs I

cant breath. I know that wls is definatly my only

option. Now its a matter of switching insurance and

getting in to see a dr in my area. Which by the way I

have been putting off because im afraide that if I

cant control my eating now...low will power..how will

I do it after. Then I visit these support groups and

realize that there are so many that have gone through

the exact same thing and have managed and those people

have been my inspiration.

Ok well this is long enough if you would like to

write me off list your more then welcome to.

Tara

=====

Brightest Blessings to you and yours.

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

KAren

I want to add 2 things. You might want to go for the more extreme versions

of weight loss surgey. They may have more repurcussions for pregnancy than

the less extreme ones because of malabsorbtion of nutrients. I don'tknow

alot about this but it something to keep in mind as yuo do your surgery

research.

Lenore

Re: Hello!/Honest questions

Hi ,

Welcome to the group. I too had the problem of eating ROTTEN food. I

wouldnt say that I have the fat gene or anything, but I have ALWAYS had to

watch what I ate if I wanted to stay fit, and just looking at anything

fattening made me gain 5 pounds. I understand you trying to address your

problems with food now instead of just jumping into WLS and hoping that will

solve everything, because we all know it doesnt. You have to learn a new

way of living with food. As for the dumping, you are right, some of us do

and some dont. I have been unfortunate or fortunate (depending on how you

look at it) to not have the sugar dumping. In the beginning I did, but

after time I can seriously eat pretty much anything, and not have a problem.

Milk gets me, thats about it, SOME dairy gets to me as well. However, my

intake is SO MUCH LESS then what it was BEFORE surgery, and that is a

godsend. If you cant overeat, then you most likely cant gain the weight

back ya know? Anyway, you should probably do some soulsearching and find

out the problem to your compulsive overeating. The surgery will most

definately help you, but you still have to work on those inner demons too.

As far as your friend who had the surgery and is always sick. I hope our

fellow " girls " arent tired of hearing me say this as this is the 3rd time I

think I am going to talk about this in the past couple of weeks lol, but I

got EXTREMELY sick after surgery. I couldnt keep any foods or liquids down

within about two months after surgery, and lost the weight WAY too fast, and

I developed a nutrional deficiency and poly neuropathy. I went downhill SO

fast, I eventually couldnt walk, write, type, feed myself, you name it. I

was SO sick, and in three different hospitals for three months. It was a

nerve disorder brought on by lack of vitamins and nutrition in my system.

Eventually, and I mean a VERY long time after, I gained some strength back

and was able to write, type, feed myself, etc. and then this past Easter

started walking again. This is SO rare, that it wasnt even in the medical

journals yet. Some people will have problems that linger after surgery, but

most, and I have been on several groups, and for the most part, you just

dont have these kinds of complications after surgery. I have yet to meet a

person who has regretted their choice, with the exception of myself there

for about a year and a half lol........Do you know what kind of ailments

your friend has? Is it a direct result of the surgery itself? Or is that

just coincidence? Anyway, you have to make the decision that is right for

you, as YOU are the one that will have to live with it. Your husband sounds

great, I was very lucky to have a supportive husband as well, he loved me

fat, didnt care if I NEVER had this surgery, and he loves me now that I feel

great! I might add what a strain my getting sick put on him after the

surgery, because he was left taking care of me and our little girl, and he

literally had to do EVERYTHING for us, as I had no use of hands, arms, feet,

etc. so in turn, I had lost a tremendous amount of weight, and HE gained

it. So we are now trying to find a way for HIM to lose his excess weight,

and obviously EVERYONE in my family is VERY weary of WLS, so that's not an

option. Anyway, I am sure he will support you in whatever decision you

make. Now regarding how long you should weight to try and conceive after

surgery......most doctors say 18-24 months, it all depends on the individual

doctor, mine said the 18-24 months. It is up to you whether you decide to

get pregnant NOW and THEN have the surgery after baby, or to weight until

after surgery when you are healthier (God willing). Most women conceive

just fine after surgery, even easier then before. Well I hope I answered

most of your questions, trust me there are women on this group that are WAY

more experienced then me, but these are just the things that I have learned

since having surgery, and then getting pregnant, post wls. Good luck to

you!!!

Marcy Wallis

edd 12/08/02

Hello!/Honest questions

Hi there,

I just joined this list a few days ago, and I have been reading posts in

order get to know the tone of the list before posting. I am 32 years

old, married to a wonderful man and mommy to a beautiful 15 month old girl

named . I am 5'1 and currently weigh 348 pounds, so as you can

guess, I am doing a tremendous amount of research into WLS. I'd like to

take the time to ask a few really sincere and honest questions, and I hope

I

am not stepping on any toes by doing so. DH and I are currently TTC our

2nd

child, so my concerns really are topical <I hope> and I am very much

hoping

you ladies can give me some input.

I am obese due to compulsive overeating. I know this, I know it isn't a

case of bad genes or stress, it is my constant grazing on lousy junk food,

combined with an almost total lack of exercise. My single biggest fear

about WLS is this. If I cannot make the commitment to eating well and

exercising now........when I have every reason to want to and a very

supportive family who is concerned about me.......how can I possibly be

able

to after WLS? I have heard that dumping controls the sugar problem, but I

have also heard that not everyone gets it and there is no way to predict

it.

I am terrified that I would have WLS and either stay the same or be

abjectly

miserable every day feeling deprived.

My second question is about quality of life after WLS. A very good friend

of mine had Lap RnY in October of 2001 and has lost 126 pounds. However,

she is constantly at the doctor for one ailment or another and although

her

weight loss is wonderful, she never seems happy. I know everyone is

different, but it scares me that the only person I know face to face to

look

to for experience seems so unhappy, except when she shops for clothes.

Is this common at first? Right now I have normal blood sugar, BP of 120/70

and no other co morbidities, but I also fully realize that at 348 they are

coming, it is just a matter of time. My friend is just so sick all the

time

and looks so much older, well.......I guess it just makes me more scared

if

that is *really* what happens after losing so much weight so quickly.

Third and last, I am concerned about pregnancy and WLS. Although, having

read just the last few days, most of fears there are already relieved.

When

I went to my OB/GYN for Provera and Clomid in May he outright said I ought

to have WLS as soon as this next pregnancy is over, and that kind of got

me

thinking again. If I were to opt for WLS *before* TTC, how long do they

say

to wait before TTC-ing? Does it depend on the doctor?

I am soooo grateful to you for reading this and maybe helping me get a

better view of things. Please, please,please understand I am NOT here to

ask anyone to justify their choice of WLS. My questions are sincere, so

much so that I asked DH not to approach the PC while I type this, as he

does

not know how I truly feel about the possibility of WLS and, at this point,

he still feels I should lose the weight by diet and not WLS. I know he'd

support me no matter what in the end, but I am speaking from the heart

here

and am really interested in what you ladies have to say.

Thanks in advance!!

TTC# 2, c2, cd21, Clomid 50mg days 5-9, waiting to O

[Guest guest]

Hi ! It's good you wrote. I'm sure you'll hear about a number

of different experiences here. I'd encourage you to join one of the

other OSSG boards and look in their archives for the same

question about why you should expect different results with WLS.

It's a VERY common concern!

I'll just describe my own experience for you. I'm 5'10 " and was

296# with longstanding Type II diabetes. I had a miscarriage

December 2000 (our first pg) and in January I started searching

everything I could find on what might have happened. I was only

8 weeks into my pregnancy, but we'd already seen the heartbeat

and at that point the statistics of m/c go down to around 2.5%. My

diabetes was well controlled and shouldn't have been a

problem, but I hated being on insulin and knowing it would only

ever get worse.

In my research, I came across a number of studies showing that

obesity is a risk factor for a healthy child. This is not a popular

conclusion. Many people consider their child healthy if it's born at

a normal weight and without complications, but I am a child of an

obese mother and looked deeper -- I read about studies

showing that these babies are much more likely to become

obese and/or develop diabetes and other problems as they

matured. That to me is not a healthy child -- I didn't want my child

to ever have to go through what I had gone through if there was

anything I could do about it. Not that any mother wants their adult

child to get sick, but this was a driving factor for me.

I had been heavy my entire life and had done all sorts of diet and

exercise programs with limited success. For whatever reason,

I'd found that the only time I lost any significant weight was on

very restricted calories, with at least an hour of vigorous exercise

every single day. I had to think aobut weight and exercise every

minute of every day. I'd been able to do this for four months once

and lost 60 pounds. Then I got stuck, and I couldn't keep it up,

much less make it stricter. My body just doesn't respond to diets

and exercise the ways everyone else's seems to. The January I

started researching miscarriages and obesity and WLS, my

doctor put me on a 1600-calorie diet (I was around 285#) and I

did a minimum of half an hour of aerobic activity every day. I didn't

cheat once, and in that month I gained 10 pounds. I was so

devastated!

But WLS is not just about eating less -- it's about changing the

way your body AND your mind relate to food. All three are

necessary for success, I believe. My pouch keeps me from

overeating, my bypass keeps me from absorbing everything

(though I have hardly anything bypassed!) and tells my body it's

different, and since I can't experience food the same, the way I

think about it has changed. Some of it really can't be explained --

like why am I so darn picky about how good things are? Maybe

it's because I can't have much, but maybe it's something else. I

feel jipped if i take a bite of something I expect to be great that's

just ordinary! And I won't keep eating it -- now THAT's a change!

I went into this with the understanding that WLS is a drastic step.

I don't consider that a judgment. But I had tried other things, and I

was ready for a drastic step. It turns out that I don't dump on

anything (truly nothing), but even so there's no way I could gain

back all of my weight without actively trying to stuff my pouch with

junk all the time -- and I just can't, much less want to! Yes,

sometimes I eat junk. But not all the time -- miraculously, I want

better thngs. I wish I could say that were true all the time, but it's

not. Still, I do so much better now than before!

Just about all the WLS docs say you should wait 12-18 months

after surgery to get pregnant, both so that you're through your

rapid weight loss phase and so that you can get the most weight

loss out of this phase. I decided to do WLS first and babies later,

for both our health (short term AND long term). I was okay'd by

my surgeon to conceive at 12 months but needed a little more

time to make sure my blood sugars were stable. I'm 16 months

out now and ttc. Even though I'm now 35 and it's going to be

tougher, I have every confidence that I did the right thing.

So, results? I'm at 182 now, about 10 pounds from goal. I wear a

size 14 or 16 misses instead of a 26 or 28 women's. I was not

one of the majority whose diabetes " disappeared " with the

surgery, but i was able to go off insulin at 3 months out and don't

take medications, though I still test my BGs several times a day.

I'm not athletic, but since surgery, I've walked a half marathon

and enjoyed horseback riding, parasailing, roller coasters,

hiking, kayaking, snorkeling, power hang gliding, white water

rafting, and just the normal activities of helping build our deck

and painting our kitchen.

As for your husband, make sure to give him the opportunity to

see some of the research about WLS that's available online if

he's analytical, or to read other patient's stories if he's more

empathetic. He's probably just afraid for you and wants to

encourage a " common sense " approach before a drastic

procedure. It makes sense. But how much sense does it make

for you to do the same thng you've tried a thousand times before

and expect different results? My doctor told me flat out that only

3% of morbidly obese people can lose weight by diet and

exercise and keep it off for over five years. Just how lucky do you

feel? : ) For me, it no longer mattered if it was " willpower " or not

that I needed. I had tried giving my all, and I saw some progress,

but even that wasn't enough to improve my health enough, and i

knew I couldn't live like that (obsessed with exercise and

calories) for the rest of my life. It was an important realization for

me.

But there are sacrifices. It's tough sometimes, and you just don't

know how your body will react. If you find you have to give up your

junk food entirely - either because you can't tolerate it or because

it poses too much of a regain danger for you -- that will hurt like

anything, there's no question. You just have to work through it

and keep going. I think it's the people who expect to have no

changes at all that have the hardest time psychologically.

This was long, but i hope it helps. Good luck in your research!

--Darla

> Hi there,

>

> I just joined this list a few days ago, and I have been reading

posts in order get to know the tone of the list before posting. I

am 32 years old, married to a wonderful man and mommy to a

beautiful 15 month old girl named . I am 5'1 and

currently weigh 348 pounds, so as you can guess, I am doing a

tremendous amount of research into WLS. I'd like to take the

time to ask a few really sincere and honest questions, and I

hope I am not stepping on any toes by doing so. DH and I are

currently TTC our 2nd child, so my concerns really are topical <I

hope> and I am very much hoping you ladies can give me some

input.

>

> I am obese due to compulsive overeating. I know this, I know it

isn't a case of bad genes or stress, it is my constant grazing on

lousy junk food, combined with an almost total lack of exercise.

My single biggest fear about WLS is this. If I cannot make the

commitment to eating well and exercising now........when I have

every reason to want to and a very supportive family who is

concerned about me.......how can I possibly be able to after

WLS? I have heard that dumping controls the sugar problem,

but I have also heard that not everyone gets it and there is no

way to predict it. I am terrified that I would have WLS and either

stay the same or be abjectly miserable every day feeling

deprived.

>

> My second question is about quality of life after WLS. A very

good friend of mine had Lap RnY in October of 2001 and has

lost 126 pounds. However, she is constantly at the doctor for

one ailment or another and although her weight loss is

wonderful, she never seems happy. I know everyone is different,

but it scares me that the only person I know face to face to look to

for experience seems so unhappy, except when she shops for

clothes. Is this common at first? Right now I have normal

blood sugar, BP of 120/70 and no other co morbidities, but I also

fully realize that at 348 they are coming, it is just a matter of time.

My friend is just so sick all the time and looks so much older,

well.......I guess it just makes me more scared if that is *really*

what happens after losing so much weight so quickly.

>

> Third and last, I am concerned about pregnancy and WLS.

Although, having read just the last few days, most of fears there

are already relieved. When I went to my OB/GYN for Provera and

Clomid in May he outright said I ought to have WLS as soon as

this next pregnancy is over, and that kind of got me thinking

again. If I were to opt for WLS *before* TTC, how long do they

say to wait before TTC-ing? Does it depend on the doctor?

>

> I am soooo grateful to you for reading this and maybe helping

me get a better view of things. Please, please,please

understand I am NOT here to ask anyone to justify their choice of

WLS. My questions are sincere, so much so that I asked DH not

to approach the PC while I type this, as he does not know how I

truly feel about the possibility of WLS and, at this point, he still

feels I should lose the weight by diet and not WLS. I know he'd

support me no matter what in the end, but I am speaking from

the heart here and am really interested in what you ladies have

to say.

>

> Thanks in advance!!

>

>

> TTC# 2, c2, cd21, Clomid 50mg days 5-9, waiting to O