Re: Venting (not the Gtube kind!)

[Guest guest]

>

> She's right BUT what irritates me to no end is when she and others defend

> people instead of being with you in the moment and understanding why you are

> so hurt, angry, disappointed, etc. Does any of this make sense?

Hun, I know exactly how you feel. That is a big frustration i have with

people. I try to tell them why someone elce offended me, and they go

defending that person. I get that at work and with my family alot so i dont

even bother telling people i have a problem till i blow up. I just wanted to

say that i understand and your making perfect sence.

I know that this girl meant no harm by it, but 1) she should have come to me

> afterwards and apologized and 2) I wish my sister and friend could

> understand how painful that was and just empathize with me first and

> foremost rather than be so quick to defend the person.

That is probably true. I hate it when people make comments weather they mean

it as a joke or not, its still mean to the person with the dissability. You

know what one i get a lot, " Why dont you turn off your hearing aids if you

dont like what you hear or dont like the conversation " You wouldt tell a

normal hearing kid/adult to plug their ears, infact you teach them thats

rude and we dont do that! lol, people make very little sence sometimes. You

know what also irritates me... i say you wouldnt tell a kid to do that and

they imideatly say im rude. Like everyone elce can be rude and be hurtful

but im not allowed to be back. im expectted to be polite and good, out of

the way, not a bother to the world. Well i guess i will go on these drugs

and be all " polite and good " .

Chantelle

[Guest guest]

>

> She's right BUT what irritates me to no end is when she and others defend

> people instead of being with you in the moment and understanding why you are

> so hurt, angry, disappointed, etc. Does any of this make sense?

Hun, I know exactly how you feel. That is a big frustration i have with

people. I try to tell them why someone elce offended me, and they go

defending that person. I get that at work and with my family alot so i dont

even bother telling people i have a problem till i blow up. I just wanted to

say that i understand and your making perfect sence.

I know that this girl meant no harm by it, but 1) she should have come to me

> afterwards and apologized and 2) I wish my sister and friend could

> understand how painful that was and just empathize with me first and

> foremost rather than be so quick to defend the person.

That is probably true. I hate it when people make comments weather they mean

it as a joke or not, its still mean to the person with the dissability. You

know what one i get a lot, " Why dont you turn off your hearing aids if you

dont like what you hear or dont like the conversation " You wouldt tell a

normal hearing kid/adult to plug their ears, infact you teach them thats

rude and we dont do that! lol, people make very little sence sometimes. You

know what also irritates me... i say you wouldnt tell a kid to do that and

they imideatly say im rude. Like everyone elce can be rude and be hurtful

but im not allowed to be back. im expectted to be polite and good, out of

the way, not a bother to the world. Well i guess i will go on these drugs

and be all " polite and good " .

Chantelle

[Guest guest]

>

> She's right BUT what irritates me to no end is when she and others defend

> people instead of being with you in the moment and understanding why you are

> so hurt, angry, disappointed, etc. Does any of this make sense?

Hun, I know exactly how you feel. That is a big frustration i have with

people. I try to tell them why someone elce offended me, and they go

defending that person. I get that at work and with my family alot so i dont

even bother telling people i have a problem till i blow up. I just wanted to

say that i understand and your making perfect sence.

I know that this girl meant no harm by it, but 1) she should have come to me

> afterwards and apologized and 2) I wish my sister and friend could

> understand how painful that was and just empathize with me first and

> foremost rather than be so quick to defend the person.

That is probably true. I hate it when people make comments weather they mean

it as a joke or not, its still mean to the person with the dissability. You

know what one i get a lot, " Why dont you turn off your hearing aids if you

dont like what you hear or dont like the conversation " You wouldt tell a

normal hearing kid/adult to plug their ears, infact you teach them thats

rude and we dont do that! lol, people make very little sence sometimes. You

know what also irritates me... i say you wouldnt tell a kid to do that and

they imideatly say im rude. Like everyone elce can be rude and be hurtful

but im not allowed to be back. im expectted to be polite and good, out of

the way, not a bother to the world. Well i guess i will go on these drugs

and be all " polite and good " .

Chantelle

[Guest guest]

Totally agree and I have no problem saying something like " I'm sorry, I

don't find that type of joking appropriate; I know you might not mean

anything by it, but you do offend people whether it's intentional or not " .

If we say nothing, nothing will change. I can totally empathize with you on

this; I've had co-workers at a previous job make a comment while *I* am

standing right there in the staff room about kids with disabilities and

" should they really be here " (at school). Then I launch....and am always

sure (esp. if they have children) to let them know the good old true saying

" your child is a car accident away from having the same challenges my child

has or worse - you might want to consider this " . I consider my job in life

to advocate for Kennedy (until she takes over fully on her own). It's not

my job to make ignorant people feel good; it's my job to to what's best for

her.

You'll get there girl! I know it's hard when your own family doesn't " get

it " with regards to certain things but you are strong and Max will continue

to make you stronger.

Hugs,

[Guest guest]

Totally agree and I have no problem saying something like " I'm sorry, I

don't find that type of joking appropriate; I know you might not mean

anything by it, but you do offend people whether it's intentional or not " .

If we say nothing, nothing will change. I can totally empathize with you on

this; I've had co-workers at a previous job make a comment while *I* am

standing right there in the staff room about kids with disabilities and

" should they really be here " (at school). Then I launch....and am always

sure (esp. if they have children) to let them know the good old true saying

" your child is a car accident away from having the same challenges my child

has or worse - you might want to consider this " . I consider my job in life

to advocate for Kennedy (until she takes over fully on her own). It's not

my job to make ignorant people feel good; it's my job to to what's best for

her.

You'll get there girl! I know it's hard when your own family doesn't " get

it " with regards to certain things but you are strong and Max will continue

to make you stronger.

Hugs,

[Guest guest]

Totally agree and I have no problem saying something like " I'm sorry, I

don't find that type of joking appropriate; I know you might not mean

anything by it, but you do offend people whether it's intentional or not " .

If we say nothing, nothing will change. I can totally empathize with you on

this; I've had co-workers at a previous job make a comment while *I* am

standing right there in the staff room about kids with disabilities and

" should they really be here " (at school). Then I launch....and am always

sure (esp. if they have children) to let them know the good old true saying

" your child is a car accident away from having the same challenges my child

has or worse - you might want to consider this " . I consider my job in life

to advocate for Kennedy (until she takes over fully on her own). It's not

my job to make ignorant people feel good; it's my job to to what's best for

her.

You'll get there girl! I know it's hard when your own family doesn't " get

it " with regards to certain things but you are strong and Max will continue

to make you stronger.

Hugs,

[Guest guest]

, i think this is good. I guess i never learned the right way of

responding. I will copy your quote and post it on my wall.

Chantelle

" I'm sorry, I

don't find that type of joking appropriate; I know you might not mean

anything by it, but you do offend people whether it's intentional or not " .

[Guest guest]

, i think this is good. I guess i never learned the right way of

responding. I will copy your quote and post it on my wall.

Chantelle

" I'm sorry, I

don't find that type of joking appropriate; I know you might not mean

anything by it, but you do offend people whether it's intentional or not " .

[Guest guest]

, i think this is good. I guess i never learned the right way of

responding. I will copy your quote and post it on my wall.

Chantelle

" I'm sorry, I

don't find that type of joking appropriate; I know you might not mean

anything by it, but you do offend people whether it's intentional or not " .

[Guest guest]

Hi Amy, Im in the same boat right now. My little Alissa is 10

monthes and I am starting to think about how I'm gonna deal with all

the little ignorant comments. I'm sorry, but no matter how nice the

girl was...... nice girls wouldn't say that. That's just not cool.

But, you can say to yourself.... " that will never happen again " and

come up with a good sweet comment to shoot back to anyone who ever

says stupid things about people kids with disabilities. People

sometimes need to be put in there place before they really open their

eyes. Ie...What I might have said to her was " really, my little one

is deaf but I don't think he sounds quiet like that " . I wonder how

she would reply to that!

I was at a funeral the other day and a girl comes up to me and says "

I'm sooooo sorry about Alissa, I ask my husband all the time why

this had to happen to you guys " . Maybe that was ok to say when

Alissa was first born and we were in the hospital not knowing whats

going on but that in my book is not ok to say 10 monthes down the

road. I then replied, " what are you talking about... you know how

blessed we are to have her! God only gives these types children to

certain people and Alissa is teaching us all sooooo much about life,

we are soo lucky to have her. " Welll... that girl felt like a big

idiot.

Truth of the matter is, I don't really know how to handle the

ignorance. I don't think any ignorant comments should not be

responded to but I'm just trying to figure out a way to resond strong

and not bitter.

>

> I am getting more and more frustrated with those around me and how

much they just don't " get it " and I must vent a little...

>

> We are organizing a fundraiser for the MIGHTY MAX Guild to

benefit Children's Hospital (where Max was treated/lived for 6

months) and last night we had some people over for our weekly

planning meeting.

>

> Well there was a lot of noisy talking and one of the girls said

to my sister something joking about sign language so they could

communicate over the noise. Then another girl took it a step further

(the first didn't offend me at all) and made a funny speaking noise,

basically imitating the hearing impaired. Of course my jaw just

dropped and so did many others in the room but nothing was said.

What could you say???

>

> Anyway later I talked to my sister about it and said how hurt and

surprised I was by that comment and she said yea I know, but she is a

really nice girl and didn't mean it that way. She's right BUT what

irritates me to no end is when she and others defend people instead

of being with you in the moment and understanding why you are so

hurt, angry, disappointed, etc. You know what I mean? I think I

took this girl's careless remark (what is more frustrating is that

this girl is indeed very nice and pretty understanding) as a sign for

the future and how many ignorant people there are in this world and

how I would always want to defend Maxwell and any other human being

with special needs.

>

> Does any of this make sense? I know that this girl meant no harm

by it, but 1) she should have come to me afterwards and apologized

and 2) I wish my sister and friend could understand how painful that

was and just empathize with me first and foremost rather than be so

quick to defend the person.

>

> I just want people to be more understanding and empathetic to the

challenges of our amazing children...and I get pretty frustrated when

those that I think should " get it " simply do not.

>

> I could write a zillion more things right now, but I best

go...Max needs loving and I just needed to at least get this off of

my chest.

>

>

> Amy McKinley

> Mom to MIGHTY MAX (CHARGE, 8 months old, 6 months corrected)

> maxupdate.blogspot.com

>

> ---------------------------------

> New Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Call regular phones from your PC

and save big.

>

>

[Guest guest]

... I love it!!! I definitely gonna use that line. You know...

it's funny, all my Alissa frustrations have turned into people

frustrations. I feel like I need to teach everone without kids with

disabilities how not to be soo ignorant.

Honestly , you speak magic! I hope you truely realize how

important you are to all of new parents out there with chargers.

Your words are music to our souls!

Hows Kenedy doing by the way? Your last visit we didn't get a chance

to hook up but I knew it wasn't gonna be that easy for you but

hopefully next. I'll keep the lamb in the freezer! heeheh big hugs

CHARGE , " Weir " wrote:

>

> Totally agree and I have no problem saying something like " I'm

sorry, I

> don't find that type of joking appropriate; I know you might not

mean

> anything by it, but you do offend people whether it's intentional

or not " .

> If we say nothing, nothing will change. I can totally empathize

with you on

> this; I've had co-workers at a previous job make a comment while

*I* am

> standing right there in the staff room about kids with disabilities

and

> " should they really be here " (at school). Then I launch....and am

always

> sure (esp. if they have children) to let them know the good old

true saying

> " your child is a car accident away from having the same challenges

my child

> has or worse - you might want to consider this " . I consider my job

in life

> to advocate for Kennedy (until she takes over fully on her own).

It's not

> my job to make ignorant people feel good; it's my job to to what's

best for

> her.

>

> You'll get there girl! I know it's hard when your own family

doesn't " get

> it " with regards to certain things but you are strong and Max will

continue

> to make you stronger.

> Hugs,

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

That is soooooo great!! and soooo needed! Thank God I have a digital

camera cause it takes me a million shots before I get a great pose.

If you can come up with a way to capture those great moments count me

in! Alissa's smiles and laughs come and go soo fast and I don't know

how to hold her up enough to get it in time for a picture!

> >

> > I am getting more and more frustrated with those around me and

how

> much they just don't " get it " and I must vent a little...

> >

> > We are organizing a fundraiser for the MIGHTY MAX Guild to

> benefit Children's Hospital (where Max was treated/lived for 6

> months) and last night we had some people over for our weekly

> planning meeting.

> >

> > Well there was a lot of noisy talking and one of the girls said

> to my sister something joking about sign language so they could

> communicate over the noise. Then another girl took it a step

> further (the first didn't offend me at all) and made a funny

> speaking noise, basically imitating the hearing impaired. Of

course

> my jaw just dropped and so did many others in the room but nothing

> was said. What could you say???

> >

> > Anyway later I talked to my sister about it and said how hurt

> and surprised I was by that comment and she said yea I know, but

she

> is a really nice girl and didn't mean it that way. She's right BUT

> what irritates me to no end is when she and others defend people

> instead of being with you in the moment and understanding why you

> are so hurt, angry, disappointed, etc. You know what I mean? I

> think I took this girl's careless remark (what is more frustrating

> is that this girl is indeed very nice and pretty understanding) as

a

> sign for the future and how many ignorant people there are in this

> world and how I would always want to defend Maxwell and any other

> human being with special needs.

> >

> > Does any of this make sense? I know that this girl meant no harm

> by it, but 1) she should have come to me afterwards and apologized

> and 2) I wish my sister and friend could understand how painful

that

> was and just empathize with me first and foremost rather than be so

> quick to defend the person.

> >

> > I just want people to be more understanding and empathetic to

> the challenges of our amazing children...and I get pretty

frustrated

> when those that I think should " get it " simply do not.

> >

> > I could write a zillion more things right now, but I best

> go...Max needs loving and I just needed to at least get this off of

> my chest.

> >

> >

> > Amy McKinley

> > Mom to MIGHTY MAX (CHARGE, 8 months old, 6 months corrected)

> > maxupdate.blogspot.com

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> > New Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Call regular phones from your PC

> and save big.

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

That is soooooo great!! and soooo needed! Thank God I have a digital

camera cause it takes me a million shots before I get a great pose.

If you can come up with a way to capture those great moments count me

in! Alissa's smiles and laughs come and go soo fast and I don't know

how to hold her up enough to get it in time for a picture!

> >

> > I am getting more and more frustrated with those around me and

how

> much they just don't " get it " and I must vent a little...

> >

> > We are organizing a fundraiser for the MIGHTY MAX Guild to

> benefit Children's Hospital (where Max was treated/lived for 6

> months) and last night we had some people over for our weekly

> planning meeting.

> >

> > Well there was a lot of noisy talking and one of the girls said

> to my sister something joking about sign language so they could

> communicate over the noise. Then another girl took it a step

> further (the first didn't offend me at all) and made a funny

> speaking noise, basically imitating the hearing impaired. Of

course

> my jaw just dropped and so did many others in the room but nothing

> was said. What could you say???

> >

> > Anyway later I talked to my sister about it and said how hurt

> and surprised I was by that comment and she said yea I know, but

she

> is a really nice girl and didn't mean it that way. She's right BUT

> what irritates me to no end is when she and others defend people

> instead of being with you in the moment and understanding why you

> are so hurt, angry, disappointed, etc. You know what I mean? I

> think I took this girl's careless remark (what is more frustrating

> is that this girl is indeed very nice and pretty understanding) as

a

> sign for the future and how many ignorant people there are in this

> world and how I would always want to defend Maxwell and any other

> human being with special needs.

> >

> > Does any of this make sense? I know that this girl meant no harm

> by it, but 1) she should have come to me afterwards and apologized

> and 2) I wish my sister and friend could understand how painful

that

> was and just empathize with me first and foremost rather than be so

> quick to defend the person.

> >

> > I just want people to be more understanding and empathetic to

> the challenges of our amazing children...and I get pretty

frustrated

> when those that I think should " get it " simply do not.

> >

> > I could write a zillion more things right now, but I best

> go...Max needs loving and I just needed to at least get this off of

> my chest.

> >

> >

> > Amy McKinley

> > Mom to MIGHTY MAX (CHARGE, 8 months old, 6 months corrected)

> > maxupdate.blogspot.com

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> > New Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Call regular phones from your PC

> and save big.

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

That is soooooo great!! and soooo needed! Thank God I have a digital

camera cause it takes me a million shots before I get a great pose.

If you can come up with a way to capture those great moments count me

in! Alissa's smiles and laughs come and go soo fast and I don't know

how to hold her up enough to get it in time for a picture!

> >

> > I am getting more and more frustrated with those around me and

how

> much they just don't " get it " and I must vent a little...

> >

> > We are organizing a fundraiser for the MIGHTY MAX Guild to

> benefit Children's Hospital (where Max was treated/lived for 6

> months) and last night we had some people over for our weekly

> planning meeting.

> >

> > Well there was a lot of noisy talking and one of the girls said

> to my sister something joking about sign language so they could

> communicate over the noise. Then another girl took it a step

> further (the first didn't offend me at all) and made a funny

> speaking noise, basically imitating the hearing impaired. Of

course

> my jaw just dropped and so did many others in the room but nothing

> was said. What could you say???

> >

> > Anyway later I talked to my sister about it and said how hurt

> and surprised I was by that comment and she said yea I know, but

she

> is a really nice girl and didn't mean it that way. She's right BUT

> what irritates me to no end is when she and others defend people

> instead of being with you in the moment and understanding why you

> are so hurt, angry, disappointed, etc. You know what I mean? I

> think I took this girl's careless remark (what is more frustrating

> is that this girl is indeed very nice and pretty understanding) as

a

> sign for the future and how many ignorant people there are in this

> world and how I would always want to defend Maxwell and any other

> human being with special needs.

> >

> > Does any of this make sense? I know that this girl meant no harm

> by it, but 1) she should have come to me afterwards and apologized

> and 2) I wish my sister and friend could understand how painful

that

> was and just empathize with me first and foremost rather than be so

> quick to defend the person.

> >

> > I just want people to be more understanding and empathetic to

> the challenges of our amazing children...and I get pretty

frustrated

> when those that I think should " get it " simply do not.

> >

> > I could write a zillion more things right now, but I best

> go...Max needs loving and I just needed to at least get this off of

> my chest.

> >

> >

> > Amy McKinley

> > Mom to MIGHTY MAX (CHARGE, 8 months old, 6 months corrected)

> > maxupdate.blogspot.com

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> > New Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Call regular phones from your PC

> and save big.

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Amy,

I have lived life trying to figure out what battles to fight. No matter how

ignorant people are we must kindly help teach them at first. There are

wonderful people who have said things without knowing that their statements

caused

pain. When they realize it many do stop and they do learn.

But then when people stay hurtful, don't care, or just put themselves first

then of course I have responded. I don't know which is worse, people who know

you and your child's life situation and continue to do it or the people who

are in positions of employment such as educators who blatantly do it. The pain

caused in my heart is the feeling that they didn't respect Patty as a whole

person. More often I found she was more complete than the jerks making those

statements.

I have had people who really do love us tell us there were dark clouds above

us all the time. They also would openly laugh and say things like why does

this happen to ONLY you and . I can't tell you how many times I have heard

that. Those statements hurt because they are people who are supposed to care

and just can't see the silver lining or the glorious luck we have been blessed

with.

I also work in Special Education for years and have been in the teachers

room, classrooms or in conversations (or near them) when they have said really

hurtful things about students and/or parents of children who have disabilities.

The ones that do it out of ignorance and are able to learn I teach them kindly.

But the ones that are just plain old mean I either have to walk away (I

state laws first though!) or advocate for whoever they are talking about.

People

who are in the profession of service should not do that, that's just it.

Throughout life you are going to run into this time and time again. It does

get easier though. So, how can you teach people? There are millions of

different people out there so there are millions of different ways. In the end

I

just say we are all people and no one is better or worse than the rest. We are

all equal. Can you believe people are insulted with that one? The ones who

are insulted are the ones who just don't have the power within to learn.

In the end, it really does come down to the fact that you have to grow thick

skin and you have to pick your battles. Fight them with kindness as much as

you can, and then just stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves!

Bonnie, Mom to Kris 23, Patty CHARGE 21 and wife to

[Guest guest]

Amy,

I have lived life trying to figure out what battles to fight. No matter how

ignorant people are we must kindly help teach them at first. There are

wonderful people who have said things without knowing that their statements

caused

pain. When they realize it many do stop and they do learn.

But then when people stay hurtful, don't care, or just put themselves first

then of course I have responded. I don't know which is worse, people who know

you and your child's life situation and continue to do it or the people who

are in positions of employment such as educators who blatantly do it. The pain

caused in my heart is the feeling that they didn't respect Patty as a whole

person. More often I found she was more complete than the jerks making those

statements.

I have had people who really do love us tell us there were dark clouds above

us all the time. They also would openly laugh and say things like why does

this happen to ONLY you and . I can't tell you how many times I have heard

that. Those statements hurt because they are people who are supposed to care

and just can't see the silver lining or the glorious luck we have been blessed

with.

I also work in Special Education for years and have been in the teachers

room, classrooms or in conversations (or near them) when they have said really

hurtful things about students and/or parents of children who have disabilities.

The ones that do it out of ignorance and are able to learn I teach them kindly.

But the ones that are just plain old mean I either have to walk away (I

state laws first though!) or advocate for whoever they are talking about.

People

who are in the profession of service should not do that, that's just it.

Throughout life you are going to run into this time and time again. It does

get easier though. So, how can you teach people? There are millions of

different people out there so there are millions of different ways. In the end

I

just say we are all people and no one is better or worse than the rest. We are

all equal. Can you believe people are insulted with that one? The ones who

are insulted are the ones who just don't have the power within to learn.

In the end, it really does come down to the fact that you have to grow thick

skin and you have to pick your battles. Fight them with kindness as much as

you can, and then just stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves!

Bonnie, Mom to Kris 23, Patty CHARGE 21 and wife to

[Guest guest]

Amy,

I have lived life trying to figure out what battles to fight. No matter how

ignorant people are we must kindly help teach them at first. There are

wonderful people who have said things without knowing that their statements

caused

pain. When they realize it many do stop and they do learn.

But then when people stay hurtful, don't care, or just put themselves first

then of course I have responded. I don't know which is worse, people who know

you and your child's life situation and continue to do it or the people who

are in positions of employment such as educators who blatantly do it. The pain

caused in my heart is the feeling that they didn't respect Patty as a whole

person. More often I found she was more complete than the jerks making those

statements.

I have had people who really do love us tell us there were dark clouds above

us all the time. They also would openly laugh and say things like why does

this happen to ONLY you and . I can't tell you how many times I have heard

that. Those statements hurt because they are people who are supposed to care

and just can't see the silver lining or the glorious luck we have been blessed

with.

I also work in Special Education for years and have been in the teachers

room, classrooms or in conversations (or near them) when they have said really

hurtful things about students and/or parents of children who have disabilities.

The ones that do it out of ignorance and are able to learn I teach them kindly.

But the ones that are just plain old mean I either have to walk away (I

state laws first though!) or advocate for whoever they are talking about.

People

who are in the profession of service should not do that, that's just it.

Throughout life you are going to run into this time and time again. It does

get easier though. So, how can you teach people? There are millions of

different people out there so there are millions of different ways. In the end

I

just say we are all people and no one is better or worse than the rest. We are

all equal. Can you believe people are insulted with that one? The ones who

are insulted are the ones who just don't have the power within to learn.

In the end, it really does come down to the fact that you have to grow thick

skin and you have to pick your battles. Fight them with kindness as much as

you can, and then just stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves!

Bonnie, Mom to Kris 23, Patty CHARGE 21 and wife to

[Guest guest]

Amy, I hear you I hear you I hear you. It is a worry every day that

I see or overhear a callous comment by someone. I honestly don't

think people think before they say something, and I do believe it

sometimes takes a real connection with someone with a disability

before some are truly sensitized by what others go through.

B.

>

> I am getting more and more frustrated with those around me and how

much they just don't " get it " and I must vent a little...

>

> We are organizing a fundraiser for the MIGHTY MAX Guild to

benefit Children's Hospital (where Max was treated/lived for 6

months) and last night we had some people over for our weekly

planning meeting.

>

> Well there was a lot of noisy talking and one of the girls said

to my sister something joking about sign language so they could

communicate over the noise. Then another girl took it a step

further (the first didn't offend me at all) and made a funny

speaking noise, basically imitating the hearing impaired. Of course

my jaw just dropped and so did many others in the room but nothing

was said. What could you say???

>

> Anyway later I talked to my sister about it and said how hurt

and surprised I was by that comment and she said yea I know, but she

is a really nice girl and didn't mean it that way. She's right BUT

what irritates me to no end is when she and others defend people

instead of being with you in the moment and understanding why you

are so hurt, angry, disappointed, etc. You know what I mean? I

think I took this girl's careless remark (what is more frustrating

is that this girl is indeed very nice and pretty understanding) as a

sign for the future and how many ignorant people there are in this

world and how I would always want to defend Maxwell and any other

human being with special needs.

>

> Does any of this make sense? I know that this girl meant no harm

by it, but 1) she should have come to me afterwards and apologized

and 2) I wish my sister and friend could understand how painful that

was and just empathize with me first and foremost rather than be so

quick to defend the person.

>

> I just want people to be more understanding and empathetic to

the challenges of our amazing children...and I get pretty frustrated

when those that I think should " get it " simply do not.

>

> I could write a zillion more things right now, but I best

go...Max needs loving and I just needed to at least get this off of

my chest.

>

>

> Amy McKinley

> Mom to MIGHTY MAX (CHARGE, 8 months old, 6 months corrected)

> maxupdate.blogspot.com

>

> ---------------------------------

> New Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Call regular phones from your PC

and save big.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Amy, I hear you I hear you I hear you. It is a worry every day that

I see or overhear a callous comment by someone. I honestly don't

think people think before they say something, and I do believe it

sometimes takes a real connection with someone with a disability

before some are truly sensitized by what others go through.

B.

>

> I am getting more and more frustrated with those around me and how

much they just don't " get it " and I must vent a little...

>

> We are organizing a fundraiser for the MIGHTY MAX Guild to

benefit Children's Hospital (where Max was treated/lived for 6

months) and last night we had some people over for our weekly

planning meeting.

>

> Well there was a lot of noisy talking and one of the girls said

to my sister something joking about sign language so they could

communicate over the noise. Then another girl took it a step

further (the first didn't offend me at all) and made a funny

speaking noise, basically imitating the hearing impaired. Of course

my jaw just dropped and so did many others in the room but nothing

was said. What could you say???

>

> Anyway later I talked to my sister about it and said how hurt

and surprised I was by that comment and she said yea I know, but she

is a really nice girl and didn't mean it that way. She's right BUT

what irritates me to no end is when she and others defend people

instead of being with you in the moment and understanding why you

are so hurt, angry, disappointed, etc. You know what I mean? I

think I took this girl's careless remark (what is more frustrating

is that this girl is indeed very nice and pretty understanding) as a

sign for the future and how many ignorant people there are in this

world and how I would always want to defend Maxwell and any other

human being with special needs.

>

> Does any of this make sense? I know that this girl meant no harm

by it, but 1) she should have come to me afterwards and apologized

and 2) I wish my sister and friend could understand how painful that

was and just empathize with me first and foremost rather than be so

quick to defend the person.

>

> I just want people to be more understanding and empathetic to

the challenges of our amazing children...and I get pretty frustrated

when those that I think should " get it " simply do not.

>

> I could write a zillion more things right now, but I best

go...Max needs loving and I just needed to at least get this off of

my chest.

>

>

> Amy McKinley

> Mom to MIGHTY MAX (CHARGE, 8 months old, 6 months corrected)

> maxupdate.blogspot.com

>

> ---------------------------------

> New Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Call regular phones from your PC

and save big.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, I had some of the pediatricians I worked with send me " I'm

sorry " cards when Carmen was born--instead of " congratulations and

let us know if you need us " . It was really disappointing. I also

had some people not even acknowledge her birth like they had done

for my son--like it was worth it because she had complications. It

is truly ignorant!!

B.

> >

> > I am getting more and more frustrated with those around me and

how

> much they just don't " get it " and I must vent a little...

> >

> > We are organizing a fundraiser for the MIGHTY MAX Guild to

> benefit Children's Hospital (where Max was treated/lived for 6

> months) and last night we had some people over for our weekly

> planning meeting.

> >

> > Well there was a lot of noisy talking and one of the girls

said

> to my sister something joking about sign language so they could

> communicate over the noise. Then another girl took it a step

further

> (the first didn't offend me at all) and made a funny speaking

noise,

> basically imitating the hearing impaired. Of course my jaw just

> dropped and so did many others in the room but nothing was said.

> What could you say???

> >

> > Anyway later I talked to my sister about it and said how hurt

and

> surprised I was by that comment and she said yea I know, but she

is a

> really nice girl and didn't mean it that way. She's right BUT

what

> irritates me to no end is when she and others defend people

instead

> of being with you in the moment and understanding why you are so

> hurt, angry, disappointed, etc. You know what I mean? I think I

> took this girl's careless remark (what is more frustrating is that

> this girl is indeed very nice and pretty understanding) as a sign

for

> the future and how many ignorant people there are in this world

and

> how I would always want to defend Maxwell and any other human

being

> with special needs.

> >

> > Does any of this make sense? I know that this girl meant no

harm

> by it, but 1) she should have come to me afterwards and apologized

> and 2) I wish my sister and friend could understand how painful

that

> was and just empathize with me first and foremost rather than be

so

> quick to defend the person.

> >

> > I just want people to be more understanding and empathetic to

the

> challenges of our amazing children...and I get pretty frustrated

when

> those that I think should " get it " simply do not.

> >

> > I could write a zillion more things right now, but I best

> go...Max needs loving and I just needed to at least get this off

of

> my chest.

> >

> >

> > Amy McKinley

> > Mom to MIGHTY MAX (CHARGE, 8 months old, 6 months corrected)

> > maxupdate.blogspot.com

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> > New Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Call regular phones from your

PC

> and save big.

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Yes, I had some of the pediatricians I worked with send me " I'm

sorry " cards when Carmen was born--instead of " congratulations and

let us know if you need us " . It was really disappointing. I also

had some people not even acknowledge her birth like they had done

for my son--like it was worth it because she had complications. It

is truly ignorant!!

B.

> >

> > I am getting more and more frustrated with those around me and

how

> much they just don't " get it " and I must vent a little...

> >

> > We are organizing a fundraiser for the MIGHTY MAX Guild to

> benefit Children's Hospital (where Max was treated/lived for 6

> months) and last night we had some people over for our weekly

> planning meeting.

> >

> > Well there was a lot of noisy talking and one of the girls

said

> to my sister something joking about sign language so they could

> communicate over the noise. Then another girl took it a step

further

> (the first didn't offend me at all) and made a funny speaking

noise,

> basically imitating the hearing impaired. Of course my jaw just

> dropped and so did many others in the room but nothing was said.

> What could you say???

> >

> > Anyway later I talked to my sister about it and said how hurt

and

> surprised I was by that comment and she said yea I know, but she

is a

> really nice girl and didn't mean it that way. She's right BUT

what

> irritates me to no end is when she and others defend people

instead

> of being with you in the moment and understanding why you are so

> hurt, angry, disappointed, etc. You know what I mean? I think I

> took this girl's careless remark (what is more frustrating is that

> this girl is indeed very nice and pretty understanding) as a sign

for

> the future and how many ignorant people there are in this world

and

> how I would always want to defend Maxwell and any other human

being

> with special needs.

> >

> > Does any of this make sense? I know that this girl meant no

harm

> by it, but 1) she should have come to me afterwards and apologized

> and 2) I wish my sister and friend could understand how painful

that

> was and just empathize with me first and foremost rather than be

so

> quick to defend the person.

> >

> > I just want people to be more understanding and empathetic to

the

> challenges of our amazing children...and I get pretty frustrated

when

> those that I think should " get it " simply do not.

> >

> > I could write a zillion more things right now, but I best

> go...Max needs loving and I just needed to at least get this off

of

> my chest.

> >

> >

> > Amy McKinley

> > Mom to MIGHTY MAX (CHARGE, 8 months old, 6 months corrected)

> > maxupdate.blogspot.com

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> > New Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Call regular phones from your

PC

> and save big.

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

michelle wat r the sorry bout her being born its great and well if theyd

sent a card saying hey thought ud liek to know we will look after it would

be cool LOL

>

> Yes, I had some of the pediatricians I worked with send me " I'm

> sorry " cards when Carmen was born--instead of " congratulations and

> let us know if you need us " . It was really disappointing. I also

> had some people not even acknowledge her birth like they had done

> for my son--like it was worth it because she had complications. It

> is truly ignorant!!

>

> B.

>

>

> > >

> > > I am getting more and more frustrated with those around me and

> how

> > much they just don't " get it " and I must vent a little...

> > >

> > > We are organizing a fundraiser for the MIGHTY MAX Guild to

> > benefit Children's Hospital (where Max was treated/lived for 6

> > months) and last night we had some people over for our weekly

> > planning meeting.

> > >

> > > Well there was a lot of noisy talking and one of the girls

> said

> > to my sister something joking about sign language so they could

> > communicate over the noise. Then another girl took it a step

> further

> > (the first didn't offend me at all) and made a funny speaking

> noise,

> > basically imitating the hearing impaired. Of course my jaw just

> > dropped and so did many others in the room but nothing was said.

> > What could you say???

> > >

> > > Anyway later I talked to my sister about it and said how hurt

> and

> > surprised I was by that comment and she said yea I know, but she

> is a

> > really nice girl and didn't mean it that way. She's right BUT

> what

> > irritates me to no end is when she and others defend people

> instead

> > of being with you in the moment and understanding why you are so

> > hurt, angry, disappointed, etc. You know what I mean? I think I

> > took this girl's careless remark (what is more frustrating is that

> > this girl is indeed very nice and pretty understanding) as a sign

> for

> > the future and how many ignorant people there are in this world

> and

> > how I would always want to defend Maxwell and any other human

> being

> > with special needs.

> > >

> > > Does any of this make sense? I know that this girl meant no

> harm

> > by it, but 1) she should have come to me afterwards and apologized

> > and 2) I wish my sister and friend could understand how painful

> that

> > was and just empathize with me first and foremost rather than be

> so

> > quick to defend the person.

> > >

> > > I just want people to be more understanding and empathetic to

> the

> > challenges of our amazing children...and I get pretty frustrated

> when

> > those that I think should " get it " simply do not.

> > >

> > > I could write a zillion more things right now, but I best

> > go...Max needs loving and I just needed to at least get this off

> of

> > my chest.

> > >

> > >

> > > Amy McKinley

> > > Mom to MIGHTY MAX (CHARGE, 8 months old, 6 months corrected)

> > > maxupdate.blogspot.com

> > >

> > > ---------------------------------

> > > New Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Call regular phones from your

> PC

> > and save big.

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

Exactly Ellen. I know you mentioned something about my cousin

recently--about the fact that if she were truly concerned about

having a baby like Carmen that it wouldn't be good. I know this is

true and I'm struggling about when to bring this up to her. She

just brought home her new baby and I want her to adjust, but one day

when it is appropriate, I will tell her what happened with her

mother in law and the comment that was made. I also want to tell

you, Ellen, that I really admire how you always have a word for

everyone on this list. I have a hard time keeping up with the posts

and don't always respond to people, but you do and I think it's so

thoughtful of you to do so.

Take care, B.

> > > >

> > > > I am getting more and more frustrated with those around me

and

> > how

> > > much they just don't " get it " and I must vent a little...

> > > >

> > > > We are organizing a fundraiser for the MIGHTY MAX Guild to

> > > benefit Children's Hospital (where Max was treated/lived for 6

> > > months) and last night we had some people over for our weekly

> > > planning meeting.

> > > >

> > > > Well there was a lot of noisy talking and one of the girls

> > said

> > > to my sister something joking about sign language so they could

> > > communicate over the noise. Then another girl took it a step

> > further

> > > (the first didn't offend me at all) and made a funny speaking

> > noise,

> > > basically imitating the hearing impaired. Of course my jaw

just

> > > dropped and so did many others in the room but nothing was

said.

> > > What could you say???

> > > >

> > > > Anyway later I talked to my sister about it and said how

hurt

> > and

> > > surprised I was by that comment and she said yea I know, but

she

> > is a

> > > really nice girl and didn't mean it that way. She's right BUT

> > what

> > > irritates me to no end is when she and others defend people

> > instead

> > > of being with you in the moment and understanding why you are

so

> > > hurt, angry, disappointed, etc. You know what I mean? I

think I

> > > took this girl's careless remark (what is more frustrating is

that

> > > this girl is indeed very nice and pretty understanding) as a

sign

> > for

> > > the future and how many ignorant people there are in this world

> > and

> > > how I would always want to defend Maxwell and any other human

> > being

> > > with special needs.

> > > >

> > > > Does any of this make sense? I know that this girl meant no

> > harm

> > > by it, but 1) she should have come to me afterwards and

apologized

> > > and 2) I wish my sister and friend could understand how painful

> > that

> > > was and just empathize with me first and foremost rather than

be

> > so

> > > quick to defend the person.

> > > >

> > > > I just want people to be more understanding and empathetic

to

> > the

> > > challenges of our amazing children...and I get pretty

frustrated

> > when

> > > those that I think should " get it " simply do not.

> > > >

> > > > I could write a zillion more things right now, but I best

> > > go...Max needs loving and I just needed to at least get this

off

> > of

> > > my chest.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > Amy McKinley

> > > > Mom to MIGHTY MAX (CHARGE, 8 months old, 6 months corrected)

> > > > maxupdate.blogspot.com

> > > >

> > > > ---------------------------------

> > > > New Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Call regular phones from

your

> > PC

> > > and save big.

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

Exactly Ellen. I know you mentioned something about my cousin

recently--about the fact that if she were truly concerned about

having a baby like Carmen that it wouldn't be good. I know this is

true and I'm struggling about when to bring this up to her. She

just brought home her new baby and I want her to adjust, but one day

when it is appropriate, I will tell her what happened with her

mother in law and the comment that was made. I also want to tell

you, Ellen, that I really admire how you always have a word for

everyone on this list. I have a hard time keeping up with the posts

and don't always respond to people, but you do and I think it's so

thoughtful of you to do so.

Take care, B.

> > > >

> > > > I am getting more and more frustrated with those around me

and

> > how

> > > much they just don't " get it " and I must vent a little...

> > > >

> > > > We are organizing a fundraiser for the MIGHTY MAX Guild to

> > > benefit Children's Hospital (where Max was treated/lived for 6

> > > months) and last night we had some people over for our weekly

> > > planning meeting.

> > > >

> > > > Well there was a lot of noisy talking and one of the girls

> > said

> > > to my sister something joking about sign language so they could

> > > communicate over the noise. Then another girl took it a step

> > further

> > > (the first didn't offend me at all) and made a funny speaking

> > noise,

> > > basically imitating the hearing impaired. Of course my jaw

just

> > > dropped and so did many others in the room but nothing was

said.

> > > What could you say???

> > > >

> > > > Anyway later I talked to my sister about it and said how

hurt

> > and

> > > surprised I was by that comment and she said yea I know, but

she

> > is a

> > > really nice girl and didn't mean it that way. She's right BUT

> > what

> > > irritates me to no end is when she and others defend people

> > instead

> > > of being with you in the moment and understanding why you are

so

> > > hurt, angry, disappointed, etc. You know what I mean? I

think I

> > > took this girl's careless remark (what is more frustrating is

that

> > > this girl is indeed very nice and pretty understanding) as a

sign

> > for

> > > the future and how many ignorant people there are in this world

> > and

> > > how I would always want to defend Maxwell and any other human

> > being

> > > with special needs.

> > > >

> > > > Does any of this make sense? I know that this girl meant no

> > harm

> > > by it, but 1) she should have come to me afterwards and

apologized

> > > and 2) I wish my sister and friend could understand how painful

> > that

> > > was and just empathize with me first and foremost rather than

be

> > so

> > > quick to defend the person.

> > > >

> > > > I just want people to be more understanding and empathetic

to

> > the

> > > challenges of our amazing children...and I get pretty

frustrated

> > when

> > > those that I think should " get it " simply do not.

> > > >

> > > > I could write a zillion more things right now, but I best

> > > go...Max needs loving and I just needed to at least get this

off

> > of

> > > my chest.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > Amy McKinley

> > > > Mom to MIGHTY MAX (CHARGE, 8 months old, 6 months corrected)

> > > > maxupdate.blogspot.com

> > > >

> > > > ---------------------------------

> > > > New Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Call regular phones from

your

> > PC

> > > and save big.

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

Exactly Ellen. I know you mentioned something about my cousin

recently--about the fact that if she were truly concerned about

having a baby like Carmen that it wouldn't be good. I know this is

true and I'm struggling about when to bring this up to her. She

just brought home her new baby and I want her to adjust, but one day

when it is appropriate, I will tell her what happened with her

mother in law and the comment that was made. I also want to tell

you, Ellen, that I really admire how you always have a word for

everyone on this list. I have a hard time keeping up with the posts

and don't always respond to people, but you do and I think it's so

thoughtful of you to do so.

Take care, B.

> > > >

> > > > I am getting more and more frustrated with those around me

and

> > how

> > > much they just don't " get it " and I must vent a little...

> > > >

> > > > We are organizing a fundraiser for the MIGHTY MAX Guild to

> > > benefit Children's Hospital (where Max was treated/lived for 6

> > > months) and last night we had some people over for our weekly

> > > planning meeting.

> > > >

> > > > Well there was a lot of noisy talking and one of the girls

> > said

> > > to my sister something joking about sign language so they could

> > > communicate over the noise. Then another girl took it a step

> > further

> > > (the first didn't offend me at all) and made a funny speaking

> > noise,

> > > basically imitating the hearing impaired. Of course my jaw

just

> > > dropped and so did many others in the room but nothing was

said.

> > > What could you say???

> > > >

> > > > Anyway later I talked to my sister about it and said how

hurt

> > and

> > > surprised I was by that comment and she said yea I know, but

she

> > is a

> > > really nice girl and didn't mean it that way. She's right BUT

> > what

> > > irritates me to no end is when she and others defend people

> > instead

> > > of being with you in the moment and understanding why you are

so

> > > hurt, angry, disappointed, etc. You know what I mean? I

think I

> > > took this girl's careless remark (what is more frustrating is

that

> > > this girl is indeed very nice and pretty understanding) as a

sign

> > for

> > > the future and how many ignorant people there are in this world

> > and

> > > how I would always want to defend Maxwell and any other human

> > being

> > > with special needs.

> > > >

> > > > Does any of this make sense? I know that this girl meant no

> > harm

> > > by it, but 1) she should have come to me afterwards and

apologized

> > > and 2) I wish my sister and friend could understand how painful

> > that

> > > was and just empathize with me first and foremost rather than

be

> > so

> > > quick to defend the person.

> > > >

> > > > I just want people to be more understanding and empathetic

to

> > the

> > > challenges of our amazing children...and I get pretty

frustrated

> > when

> > > those that I think should " get it " simply do not.

> > > >

> > > > I could write a zillion more things right now, but I best

> > > go...Max needs loving and I just needed to at least get this

off

> > of

> > > my chest.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > Amy McKinley

> > > > Mom to MIGHTY MAX (CHARGE, 8 months old, 6 months corrected)

> > > > maxupdate.blogspot.com

> > > >

> > > > ---------------------------------

> > > > New Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Call regular phones from

your

> > PC

> > > and save big.

> > > >

> > > >