Re: Update and Thanks

June 4, 2004

> > Lexapro is an SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake

I did try Lexapro myself. At first, I thought it was wonderful - the

first anti-anxiety med that just fixed the anixety and didn't do

anything else - no lethargy, etc. However, after I had been on it

for a couple of weeks, I found myself getting very depressed, which I

hadn't been before. My doc halved the Lexapro dose, and the

depression improved. Then it returned, and I went off the Lexapro,

and the depression vanished in a couple of days.

I do get depressed sometimes when my heart stuff is ticking up, but

nothing like the hopeless crushing feeling I got on the Lexapro. I

was even depressed when my heart was behaving okay.

June 4, 2004

> > Lexapro is an SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake

I did try Lexapro myself. At first, I thought it was wonderful - the

first anti-anxiety med that just fixed the anixety and didn't do

anything else - no lethargy, etc. However, after I had been on it

for a couple of weeks, I found myself getting very depressed, which I

hadn't been before. My doc halved the Lexapro dose, and the

depression improved. Then it returned, and I went off the Lexapro,

and the depression vanished in a couple of days.

I do get depressed sometimes when my heart stuff is ticking up, but

nothing like the hopeless crushing feeling I got on the Lexapro. I

was even depressed when my heart was behaving okay.

June 4, 2004

> > Lexapro is an SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake

I did try Lexapro myself. At first, I thought it was wonderful - the

first anti-anxiety med that just fixed the anixety and didn't do

anything else - no lethargy, etc. However, after I had been on it

for a couple of weeks, I found myself getting very depressed, which I

hadn't been before. My doc halved the Lexapro dose, and the

depression improved. Then it returned, and I went off the Lexapro,

and the depression vanished in a couple of days.

I do get depressed sometimes when my heart stuff is ticking up, but

nothing like the hopeless crushing feeling I got on the Lexapro. I

was even depressed when my heart was behaving okay.

June 4, 2004

>

Kathleen,

I'm very sorry about your brother.

I also was first diagnosed after my mother passed away and then there

was a giant mess about things after that.

Yes, I also get the garden too much -> hours later the heart kicks

up. Others have mentioned fatigue also.

June 4, 2004

>

Kathleen,

I'm very sorry about your brother.

I also was first diagnosed after my mother passed away and then there

was a giant mess about things after that.

Yes, I also get the garden too much -> hours later the heart kicks

up. Others have mentioned fatigue also.

June 4, 2004

In a message dated 6/3/2004 7:38:13 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

indiaink99@... writes:

> I wonder if this " worse ever " episode will

> simply make me more fearful of a return if I do convert. It seems a no-win

> situation ... which is perhaps fueling my depression. Actually I don't feel

> depressed (despair yes) ... I feel numb. I'm not sure which is worse ...

> though

> for functioning for work, numb should be OK. I thought I had moved into

> acceptance till this bout.

Toni,

I think we all have to live with that uncertainty about whether afib will

return even after conversion. When I was having afib every 11-14 days on

schedule and when I was in afib 50 percent of the time right after I quit dairy,

I

learned to try to enjoy and make the most of the days I was in sinus, knowing

that it probably wouldn't last. I think this ability will come to you, too, and

make your afib a little easier to bear. Even now, though I have had what

seems like almost no afib for the past two years, a part of me doesn't expect

that I will remain virtually afib free for the rest of my life. However, I am

trying to enjoy my present sinus state and to remain optimistic about staying in

sinus most of the time for the rest of my life. My cardiologist has helped

by telling me that he thinks I would be in permanent afib by now if I were

going to be. He has told me and I have read that an optimistic outlook really

helps the heart, so even in the middle of an afib event it's important to focus

on the positive aspects and to distract yourself with thoughts and activities

that make you feel relaxed and positive. Even as I write this, I remember the

many occasions on which it has been very hard to stay positive because afib

can certainly lead to depression. We just have to keep fighting that depression,

I think.

I have been fortunate in having my older brother as a role model. He has

almost never let afib get him down and keeps a positive attitude toward life

despite being in afib all the time. I really think that positive attitude is

the

main reason he is able to live such an astonishingly normal and energetic

life. He has his bad days like the rest of us, but he never gives up and always

seems to have the attitude that his problems will pass. Achieving just a

fraction of his positive attitude has helped me greatly in dealing with afib.

So hang in there and keep fighting that anxiety. Pamper yourself more than

you normally would and try to distract yourself with pleasant thoughts and

things that you enjoy. Or when the depression gets you down, try to focus on

the

small pleasures of just being alive, which is certainly better than the

alternative, :-) and remind yourself that you could have far worse problems than

afib. Finally, if your doggie is as distracting and endearing as my doggie is,

you might find comfort and help from her. Many times my dog has managed to

cheer me when I have been really down about a long afib episode.

Even if you are back in sinus now, these thoughts might help to keep you from

falling into that pattern of dreading the next afib episode with which I am

so familiar. The dread just makes the likelihood of afib greater, I think. We

afibbers just have to learn to accept whatever comes with the knowledge it

probably won't be forever and at least it won't kill us. And I still think you

should pursue the quest for the right doctor and the right med because both

have made all the difference for my brother and me.

in sinus in Seattle

June 4, 2004

In a message dated 6/4/2004 1:23:17 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

nouveau909@... writes:

> BTW, does anyone else here notice a-fib episodes

> related to fatigue? Wednesday night, I only got about

> 4 hours' sleep, and then yesterday I did quite a bit

> of gardening. By yesterday evening, I was having an

> awful time with the irregular and fast beat (had been

> in NSR since discharge from the hospital about 3 weeks

> ago). Today, it seems okay again. No more staying up

> late for me, I guess...

>

Kathleen,

My first cardiologist told me that loss of sleep is a definite factor in

causing afib. Based on my experience, I believe him.

in sinus in Seattle

June 5, 2004

In a message dated 6/4/04 8:48:37 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

Starfi6314@... writes:

> Even if you are back in sinus now, these thoughts might help to keep you

> from

> falling into that pattern of dreading the next afib episode with which I am

> so familiar. The dread just makes the likelihood of afib greater, I think.

> We

> afibbers just have to learn to accept whatever comes with the knowledge it

> probably won't be forever and at least it won't kill us. And I still think

> you

> should pursue the quest for the right doctor and the right med because both

> have made all the difference for my brother and me.

Thanks for your kind words, . Still in the attack and in more despair

than depression. I spoke again late yesterday with the nurse for my

cardiologist (who is very nice). It was around 3 p.m. She said she was going

to talk to

the doctor as she didn't want to leave me " in the state I was in " for the

weekend as she could tell I was on the verge of tears. She asked how long I'd

be

at work and I said till 5:30 ... she said she'd call before then. She

didn't. I realize I'm not the center of their universe, but it's difficult to

believe the medical profession (at least the ones I'm in contact with) give a

rat's

ass about the quality of life I'm having right now ... or rather, the lack of

it. I'm trying to be positive, and it's not working. So I surrender. I

woke up this morning, so I didn't stroke out in the night. I'm typing this on

the 7th day of this attack ... I am angry and impotent and in terror and

despair. And I can't do a fricking thing about it. Life is grand. heh? I

wasn't

even going to post any more cuz you've all been so supportive and I seem to keep

getting worse. I apologize for that. I'm fighting the good fight all I can,

but I'm running on empty here. Glad it's at least the weekend so I can sit

still and not have to try to do work when I am so far from productive I feel

guilty for having a paycheck for that day.

Toni

CA

June 5, 2004

Hi, Toni, I send you a hug in hopes it helps. Post all you want,

that's what we're here for.

I find I have to be a bit aggressive with docs and nurses and phone

calls. If someone has promised to phone me back before the end of

their work day, and I haven't heard from them by say 15 minutes

before then, I call in. Esp. if it's a Friday.

Sometimes even then they have left early, but possibly another nurse

is around the office who can say something useful. I have basically

lost all shame about bothering the doc's office if I am freaked out.

You have to have a doc who understands the anxiety afib causes.

I have had answering services (not secretaries) totally lose messages

for the doctor also. My obgyn once told me, if I don't get back to

you in half an hour after you're left a message with the answering

service, call again. (No, no baby was due :-)

I was bummed out myself this morning because things have been ticking

up, but I read (a few times!) an encouraging message someone had sent

me to cheer myself up and give me some backbone. Then I made it a

point to do a few chores around the house.

One thing that has happened with my own upheaval the past few months

is my house is a mess, I haven't really unpacked since I moved, and I

still have my income taxes to do (I got an extension.) I find it

combats anxiety and depression a little to do a chore. I don't push

myself into too much physical stuff, it might be as simple as

emptying the dryer or refilling a bird feeder. But after a day of

doing something like this every 1-2 hours, a lot gets accomplished,

and it cheers me up to see a cleaner place.

June 5, 2004

In a message dated 6/5/2004 9:25:42 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

indiaink99@... writes:

> I realize I'm not the center of their universe, but it's difficult to

> believe the medical profession (at least the ones I'm in contact with) give

> a rat's

> ass about the quality of life I'm having right now ... or rather, the lack

> of

> it. I'm trying to be positive, and it's not working.

June 5, 2004

In a message dated 6/5/2004 9:25:42 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

indiaink99@... writes:

> I realize I'm not the center of their universe, but it's difficult to

> believe the medical profession (at least the ones I'm in contact with) give

> a rat's

> ass about the quality of life I'm having right now ... or rather, the lack

> of

> it. I'm trying to be positive, and it's not working.

Toni,

I know how hard it is to be positive when you are feeling so horrible. I've

been there. However, there are doctors and nurses out there who do care about

their patients, and it really sounds as if you need to find one! I've had

both both caring and uncaring doctors, and I get rid of the uncaring ones. I

think is inexcusable that your doctor's office did not call you back before the

weekend. He may belong to the class of doctors who do not regard afib as a

problem because it isn't life threatening. This is your major problem. You need

to find a doctor who does care and who will put some effort into finding a

solution to your problem. I don't know where you live, but if you are near a

large city it would be worth some travel to access a larger pool of doctors in

which you might find one that could help you. In the meantime, don't give up

hope. Seven days probably seems like an eternity of afib, but I am sure you

will convert. You always have done so before. Remember that and take comfort

in it. I will be thinking about you and praying for you.

in sinus in Seattle (but formerly in afib for as long as ten days)

June 5, 2004