RE: Effect of family birth after my daughter's dramatic birth

[Guest guest]

Oh... ... I can guarantee you're not alone in that type of reaction.

I have had several " moments " that have caught me off guard. The last (and

worst) was on the way home from a dear friend's baby shower. It was a beautiful

day (as was my shower) and full of so much hope, promise and anticipation. I

sat there with this strange contradiction of emotions inside me... I felt all

that hope and anticipation, yet I also was so SAD. My reality was the same

as hers during that time in my pregnancy... and it was turned upside down the

night my daughter, Gracie, was born.

As she opened gifts, I felt myself looking at them in the way that they apply

to me now... bottles that were packed because they were never used, the

" Boppy " that makes a great " bumper " for the wheels on the feeding pole, the

onesies

that need a hole cut for the Mickey, the " exer-saucer " that she outgrew

before she could even hold her head up, let alone bear weight on her legs...

blah

blah blah...

When we (my mom and I) finally got in the car for the 90 minute drive home, I

lost it. (My poor mom... she didn't know how to comfort me... she, too,

feels the pain - - because she's my mom and Gracie's nana.) That day in the

car,

I think I mourned what my husband and I lost as new parents for the first

time. I have " mourned " what Gracie lost, but I don't think I had ever really

stopped to think about us as parents - - the anticipation of the birth of a baby

is tremendous and none of us anticipates the kind of births that we have

experienced with our very special and amazing babies.

It is healthy for these emotions to come out... especially the ones we don't

even know we have locked up inside us. It keeps us healthy and strong... and

real. I think that we are all so busy " taking care of business " and learning

every day how to be the best parents we can be for our children with CHARGE

that we forget we have some pretty profound needs and feelings, too. And, I

don't think it's a " pity party " either... I just think that sometimes things

catch

up to us and need release.

Kristi

mommy to Gracie (Turning three in one month! Her first IEP in two weeks!!!)

and wife to a GREAT husband and daddy, :-)

[Guest guest]

Oh... ... I can guarantee you're not alone in that type of reaction.

I have had several " moments " that have caught me off guard. The last (and

worst) was on the way home from a dear friend's baby shower. It was a beautiful

day (as was my shower) and full of so much hope, promise and anticipation. I

sat there with this strange contradiction of emotions inside me... I felt all

that hope and anticipation, yet I also was so SAD. My reality was the same

as hers during that time in my pregnancy... and it was turned upside down the

night my daughter, Gracie, was born.

As she opened gifts, I felt myself looking at them in the way that they apply

to me now... bottles that were packed because they were never used, the

" Boppy " that makes a great " bumper " for the wheels on the feeding pole, the

onesies

that need a hole cut for the Mickey, the " exer-saucer " that she outgrew

before she could even hold her head up, let alone bear weight on her legs...

blah

blah blah...

When we (my mom and I) finally got in the car for the 90 minute drive home, I

lost it. (My poor mom... she didn't know how to comfort me... she, too,

feels the pain - - because she's my mom and Gracie's nana.) That day in the

car,

I think I mourned what my husband and I lost as new parents for the first

time. I have " mourned " what Gracie lost, but I don't think I had ever really

stopped to think about us as parents - - the anticipation of the birth of a baby

is tremendous and none of us anticipates the kind of births that we have

experienced with our very special and amazing babies.

It is healthy for these emotions to come out... especially the ones we don't

even know we have locked up inside us. It keeps us healthy and strong... and

real. I think that we are all so busy " taking care of business " and learning

every day how to be the best parents we can be for our children with CHARGE

that we forget we have some pretty profound needs and feelings, too. And, I

don't think it's a " pity party " either... I just think that sometimes things

catch

up to us and need release.

Kristi

mommy to Gracie (Turning three in one month! Her first IEP in two weeks!!!)

and wife to a GREAT husband and daddy, :-)

[Guest guest]

Oh... ... I can guarantee you're not alone in that type of reaction.

I have had several " moments " that have caught me off guard. The last (and

worst) was on the way home from a dear friend's baby shower. It was a beautiful

day (as was my shower) and full of so much hope, promise and anticipation. I

sat there with this strange contradiction of emotions inside me... I felt all

that hope and anticipation, yet I also was so SAD. My reality was the same

as hers during that time in my pregnancy... and it was turned upside down the

night my daughter, Gracie, was born.

As she opened gifts, I felt myself looking at them in the way that they apply

to me now... bottles that were packed because they were never used, the

" Boppy " that makes a great " bumper " for the wheels on the feeding pole, the

onesies

that need a hole cut for the Mickey, the " exer-saucer " that she outgrew

before she could even hold her head up, let alone bear weight on her legs...

blah

blah blah...

When we (my mom and I) finally got in the car for the 90 minute drive home, I

lost it. (My poor mom... she didn't know how to comfort me... she, too,

feels the pain - - because she's my mom and Gracie's nana.) That day in the

car,

I think I mourned what my husband and I lost as new parents for the first

time. I have " mourned " what Gracie lost, but I don't think I had ever really

stopped to think about us as parents - - the anticipation of the birth of a baby

is tremendous and none of us anticipates the kind of births that we have

experienced with our very special and amazing babies.

It is healthy for these emotions to come out... especially the ones we don't

even know we have locked up inside us. It keeps us healthy and strong... and

real. I think that we are all so busy " taking care of business " and learning

every day how to be the best parents we can be for our children with CHARGE

that we forget we have some pretty profound needs and feelings, too. And, I

don't think it's a " pity party " either... I just think that sometimes things

catch

up to us and need release.

Kristi

mommy to Gracie (Turning three in one month! Her first IEP in two weeks!!!)

and wife to a GREAT husband and daddy, :-)

[Guest guest]

Dear -

I have had this happen to me several times since 's birth - each time

unexpected, each time more intense than the last. For me, I see it as

unprocessed grief - grief that I didn't allow myself time for because it is

how I managed to deal with things that needed taking care of at the time -

or grief that I had accepted certain qualifications to my CHARGE son's life,

and then to have them surpassed beyond my wildest dreams. Or dreams that

came true that I never knew I had not allowed myself to dare dream... and

the grief that goes with that.

Bless and love your heart for all it does to make this time whole....to

accept what is and to make good of it, no matter what.

love and hugs-

yuka

Effect of family birth after my daughter's dramatic birth

> Not sure if other's have experienced this, but the other night, I got

> a call that my cousin was in labor with her baby. She has asked me to

> be the Godparent for her little girl, and I had all along planned to

> be at the hospital for the birth (my family is large, and we all sit

> vigil while someone is having a new family member!) At any rate, I

> was on my way to the hospital (alone) and all of a sudden just started

> crying such a deep emotional cry--I honestly was surprised at myself.

> I think I must have been grieving the happy birth process that I

> didn't have with Carmen, who was born so tiny, not breathing, and gray

> in color. I don't think I've really ever cried out since her birth,

> as I'm very action oriented and have been so focused on all of her

> needs. The reaction I had to my cousin's birth process really hit me

> hard--it was like I finally realized how sad I was that I didn't have

> a joyous moment for my daughter when she arrived. I think it provided

> some closure, really. Anyone else have this happen?

>

> B. mom to Zachary 4.5 years and Carmen 20 months (CHARGE)

[Guest guest]

Dear -

I have had this happen to me several times since 's birth - each time

unexpected, each time more intense than the last. For me, I see it as

unprocessed grief - grief that I didn't allow myself time for because it is

how I managed to deal with things that needed taking care of at the time -

or grief that I had accepted certain qualifications to my CHARGE son's life,

and then to have them surpassed beyond my wildest dreams. Or dreams that

came true that I never knew I had not allowed myself to dare dream... and

the grief that goes with that.

Bless and love your heart for all it does to make this time whole....to

accept what is and to make good of it, no matter what.

love and hugs-

yuka

Effect of family birth after my daughter's dramatic birth

> Not sure if other's have experienced this, but the other night, I got

> a call that my cousin was in labor with her baby. She has asked me to

> be the Godparent for her little girl, and I had all along planned to

> be at the hospital for the birth (my family is large, and we all sit

> vigil while someone is having a new family member!) At any rate, I

> was on my way to the hospital (alone) and all of a sudden just started

> crying such a deep emotional cry--I honestly was surprised at myself.

> I think I must have been grieving the happy birth process that I

> didn't have with Carmen, who was born so tiny, not breathing, and gray

> in color. I don't think I've really ever cried out since her birth,

> as I'm very action oriented and have been so focused on all of her

> needs. The reaction I had to my cousin's birth process really hit me

> hard--it was like I finally realized how sad I was that I didn't have

> a joyous moment for my daughter when she arrived. I think it provided

> some closure, really. Anyone else have this happen?

>

> B. mom to Zachary 4.5 years and Carmen 20 months (CHARGE)

[Guest guest]

Dear -

I have had this happen to me several times since 's birth - each time

unexpected, each time more intense than the last. For me, I see it as

unprocessed grief - grief that I didn't allow myself time for because it is

how I managed to deal with things that needed taking care of at the time -

or grief that I had accepted certain qualifications to my CHARGE son's life,

and then to have them surpassed beyond my wildest dreams. Or dreams that

came true that I never knew I had not allowed myself to dare dream... and

the grief that goes with that.

Bless and love your heart for all it does to make this time whole....to

accept what is and to make good of it, no matter what.

love and hugs-

yuka

Effect of family birth after my daughter's dramatic birth

> Not sure if other's have experienced this, but the other night, I got

> a call that my cousin was in labor with her baby. She has asked me to

> be the Godparent for her little girl, and I had all along planned to

> be at the hospital for the birth (my family is large, and we all sit

> vigil while someone is having a new family member!) At any rate, I

> was on my way to the hospital (alone) and all of a sudden just started

> crying such a deep emotional cry--I honestly was surprised at myself.

> I think I must have been grieving the happy birth process that I

> didn't have with Carmen, who was born so tiny, not breathing, and gray

> in color. I don't think I've really ever cried out since her birth,

> as I'm very action oriented and have been so focused on all of her

> needs. The reaction I had to my cousin's birth process really hit me

> hard--it was like I finally realized how sad I was that I didn't have

> a joyous moment for my daughter when she arrived. I think it provided

> some closure, really. Anyone else have this happen?

>

> B. mom to Zachary 4.5 years and Carmen 20 months (CHARGE)

[Guest guest]

Yes! It hit me when I had to go back to by OBGYN for a check up (his office is

in the same hospital I gave birth). I was leaving and witnessed a family going

home with their new baby. Wow, did that hurt!!!!!!!!!! And, it will continue

to happen again and again, but should be less painful.

It's good that you had that cry! It's healthy! This is such a roller coaster

and will continue to have ups and downs for many, many years.

Bernie Hill, Mom of Amber 9 and cHARGE 6

wrote:

Not sure if other's have experienced this, but the other night, I got

a call that my cousin was in labor with her baby. She has asked me to

be the Godparent for her little girl, and I had all along planned to

be at the hospital for the birth (my family is large, and we all sit

vigil while someone is having a new family member!) At any rate, I

was on my way to the hospital (alone) and all of a sudden just started

crying such a deep emotional cry--I honestly was surprised at myself.

I think I must have been grieving the happy birth process that I

didn't have with Carmen, who was born so tiny, not breathing, and gray

in color. I don't think I've really ever cried out since her birth,

as I'm very action oriented and have been so focused on all of her

needs. The reaction I had to my cousin's birth process really hit me

hard--it was like I finally realized how sad I was that I didn't have

a joyous moment for my daughter when she arrived. I think it provided

some closure, really. Anyone else have this happen?

B. mom to Zachary 4.5 years and Carmen 20 months (CHARGE)

CHARGE SYNDROME LISTSERV PHOTO PAGE:

http://www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2117043995

Membership of this email support group does not constitute membership in the

CHARGE Syndrome Foundation; for information about the CHARGE Syndrome

Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter),

please contact marion@... or visit

the web site at http://www.chargesyndrome.org

8th International

CHARGE Syndrome Conference, July, 2007. Information will be available at

www.chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-.

[Guest guest]

Yes! It hit me when I had to go back to by OBGYN for a check up (his office is

in the same hospital I gave birth). I was leaving and witnessed a family going

home with their new baby. Wow, did that hurt!!!!!!!!!! And, it will continue

to happen again and again, but should be less painful.

It's good that you had that cry! It's healthy! This is such a roller coaster

and will continue to have ups and downs for many, many years.

Bernie Hill, Mom of Amber 9 and cHARGE 6

wrote:

Not sure if other's have experienced this, but the other night, I got

a call that my cousin was in labor with her baby. She has asked me to

be the Godparent for her little girl, and I had all along planned to

be at the hospital for the birth (my family is large, and we all sit

vigil while someone is having a new family member!) At any rate, I

was on my way to the hospital (alone) and all of a sudden just started

crying such a deep emotional cry--I honestly was surprised at myself.

I think I must have been grieving the happy birth process that I

didn't have with Carmen, who was born so tiny, not breathing, and gray

in color. I don't think I've really ever cried out since her birth,

as I'm very action oriented and have been so focused on all of her

needs. The reaction I had to my cousin's birth process really hit me

hard--it was like I finally realized how sad I was that I didn't have

a joyous moment for my daughter when she arrived. I think it provided

some closure, really. Anyone else have this happen?

B. mom to Zachary 4.5 years and Carmen 20 months (CHARGE)

CHARGE SYNDROME LISTSERV PHOTO PAGE:

http://www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2117043995

Membership of this email support group does not constitute membership in the

CHARGE Syndrome Foundation; for information about the CHARGE Syndrome

Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter),

please contact marion@... or visit

the web site at http://www.chargesyndrome.org

8th International

CHARGE Syndrome Conference, July, 2007. Information will be available at

www.chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-.

[Guest guest]

YES!! I'm so glad to hear in isn't just me! I felt so horrible for having

those feelings. My cousin just had her baby 3 weeks ago, and she asked me

to come and visit. I was so embarrassed...all I could do was cry and

apologize to her on the phone. It snuck up on me so quickly, that I felt so

ashamed. She said she understood my feelings with all that I have been

through with Meagan, but I still felt so awful. Now, in May, three of my

friends are getting ready to deliver their babies. I am absolutely terrified

for this month to come. I'm afraid of how it will hit me. Even more

embarrassing, and oh I hate to admit this to everyone, but I even am

starting to get angry that everyone else seems to have healthy babies.

Please say I am not the only one! I want these AWFUL feelings to go away.

They just bring me down so miserably.

, mommy to Meagan (CHaRgE) and 17 months, and big brother

3 1/2 years, married to the best daddy in the world for 9 years

-- Effect of family birth after my daughter's dramatic birth

Not sure if other's have experienced this, but the other night, I got

a call that my cousin was in labor with her baby. She has asked me to

be the Godparent for her little girl, and I had all along planned to

be at the hospital for the birth (my family is large, and we all sit

vigil while someone is having a new family member!) At any rate, I

was on my way to the hospital (alone) and all of a sudden just started

crying such a deep emotional cry--I honestly was surprised at myself.

I think I must have been grieving the happy birth process that I

didn't have with Carmen, who was born so tiny, not breathing, and gray

in color. I don't think I've really ever cried out since her birth,

as I'm very action oriented and have been so focused on all of her

needs. The reaction I had to my cousin's birth process really hit me

hard--it was like I finally realized how sad I was that I didn't have

a joyous moment for my daughter when she arrived. I think it provided

some closure, really. Anyone else have this happen?

B. mom to Zachary 4.5 years and Carmen 20 months (CHARGE)

CHARGE SYNDROME LISTSERV PHOTO PAGE:

http://www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2117043995

Membership of this email support group does not constitute membership in the

CHARGE Syndrome Foundation; for information about the CHARGE Syndrome

Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter),

please contact marion@... or visit

the web site at http://www.chargesyndrome.org

8th International

CHARGE Syndrome Conference, July, 2007. Information will be available at www

chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-.

[Guest guest]

YES!! I'm so glad to hear in isn't just me! I felt so horrible for having

those feelings. My cousin just had her baby 3 weeks ago, and she asked me

to come and visit. I was so embarrassed...all I could do was cry and

apologize to her on the phone. It snuck up on me so quickly, that I felt so

ashamed. She said she understood my feelings with all that I have been

through with Meagan, but I still felt so awful. Now, in May, three of my

friends are getting ready to deliver their babies. I am absolutely terrified

for this month to come. I'm afraid of how it will hit me. Even more

embarrassing, and oh I hate to admit this to everyone, but I even am

starting to get angry that everyone else seems to have healthy babies.

Please say I am not the only one! I want these AWFUL feelings to go away.

They just bring me down so miserably.

, mommy to Meagan (CHaRgE) and 17 months, and big brother

3 1/2 years, married to the best daddy in the world for 9 years

-- Effect of family birth after my daughter's dramatic birth

Not sure if other's have experienced this, but the other night, I got

a call that my cousin was in labor with her baby. She has asked me to

be the Godparent for her little girl, and I had all along planned to

be at the hospital for the birth (my family is large, and we all sit

vigil while someone is having a new family member!) At any rate, I

was on my way to the hospital (alone) and all of a sudden just started

crying such a deep emotional cry--I honestly was surprised at myself.

I think I must have been grieving the happy birth process that I

didn't have with Carmen, who was born so tiny, not breathing, and gray

in color. I don't think I've really ever cried out since her birth,

as I'm very action oriented and have been so focused on all of her

needs. The reaction I had to my cousin's birth process really hit me

hard--it was like I finally realized how sad I was that I didn't have

a joyous moment for my daughter when she arrived. I think it provided

some closure, really. Anyone else have this happen?

B. mom to Zachary 4.5 years and Carmen 20 months (CHARGE)

CHARGE SYNDROME LISTSERV PHOTO PAGE:

http://www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2117043995

Membership of this email support group does not constitute membership in the

CHARGE Syndrome Foundation; for information about the CHARGE Syndrome

Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter),

please contact marion@... or visit

the web site at http://www.chargesyndrome.org

8th International

CHARGE Syndrome Conference, July, 2007. Information will be available at www

chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-.

[Guest guest]

YES!! I'm so glad to hear in isn't just me! I felt so horrible for having

those feelings. My cousin just had her baby 3 weeks ago, and she asked me

to come and visit. I was so embarrassed...all I could do was cry and

apologize to her on the phone. It snuck up on me so quickly, that I felt so

ashamed. She said she understood my feelings with all that I have been

through with Meagan, but I still felt so awful. Now, in May, three of my

friends are getting ready to deliver their babies. I am absolutely terrified

for this month to come. I'm afraid of how it will hit me. Even more

embarrassing, and oh I hate to admit this to everyone, but I even am

starting to get angry that everyone else seems to have healthy babies.

Please say I am not the only one! I want these AWFUL feelings to go away.

They just bring me down so miserably.

, mommy to Meagan (CHaRgE) and 17 months, and big brother

3 1/2 years, married to the best daddy in the world for 9 years

-- Effect of family birth after my daughter's dramatic birth

Not sure if other's have experienced this, but the other night, I got

a call that my cousin was in labor with her baby. She has asked me to

be the Godparent for her little girl, and I had all along planned to

be at the hospital for the birth (my family is large, and we all sit

vigil while someone is having a new family member!) At any rate, I

was on my way to the hospital (alone) and all of a sudden just started

crying such a deep emotional cry--I honestly was surprised at myself.

I think I must have been grieving the happy birth process that I

didn't have with Carmen, who was born so tiny, not breathing, and gray

in color. I don't think I've really ever cried out since her birth,

as I'm very action oriented and have been so focused on all of her

needs. The reaction I had to my cousin's birth process really hit me

hard--it was like I finally realized how sad I was that I didn't have

a joyous moment for my daughter when she arrived. I think it provided

some closure, really. Anyone else have this happen?

B. mom to Zachary 4.5 years and Carmen 20 months (CHARGE)

CHARGE SYNDROME LISTSERV PHOTO PAGE:

http://www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2117043995

Membership of this email support group does not constitute membership in the

CHARGE Syndrome Foundation; for information about the CHARGE Syndrome

Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter),

please contact marion@... or visit

the web site at http://www.chargesyndrome.org

8th International

CHARGE Syndrome Conference, July, 2007. Information will be available at www

chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-.

[Guest guest]

.

Yes I have had that reaction a few times. Sometimes I can't help but be

jealous when other children are sent home from the hospital. The ugly " why

can't that be us " thought passes through my head each time.

HOWEVER, I try to console myself with the positives. Cedie has been a

blessing to us. I would not trade her, even with all of her issues, for

anything. This whole experience with her has brought my family together in a

way that would not have been the same had she been " normal "

Bernie,

That OBGYN check up was rough for me too. The day I went there were 4 new

moms with their newborns there for their post partum check up. I was so

upset that I couldn't have Cedie there to show off! I cried 4 times during

the hour or so that I was there. It was awful

_____

From: CHARGE [mailto:CHARGE ] On Behalf Of

Bernadine Hill

Sent: Thursday, March 16, 2006 1:31 PM

To: CHARGE

Subject: Re: Effect of family birth after my daughter's dramatic

birth

Yes! It hit me when I had to go back to by OBGYN for a check up (his office

is in the same hospital I gave birth). I was leaving and witnessed a family

going home with their new baby. Wow, did that hurt!!!!!!!!!! And, it will

continue to happen again and again, but should be less painful.

It's good that you had that cry! It's healthy! This is such a roller

coaster and will continue to have ups and downs for many, many years.

Bernie Hill, Mom of Amber 9 and cHARGE 6

wrote:

Not sure if other's have experienced this, but the other night, I got

a call that my cousin was in labor with her baby. She has asked me to

be the Godparent for her little girl, and I had all along planned to

be at the hospital for the birth (my family is large, and we all sit

vigil while someone is having a new family member!) At any rate, I

was on my way to the hospital (alone) and all of a sudden just started

crying such a deep emotional cry--I honestly was surprised at myself.

I think I must have been grieving the happy birth process that I

didn't have with Carmen, who was born so tiny, not breathing, and gray

in color. I don't think I've really ever cried out since her birth,

as I'm very action oriented and have been so focused on all of her

needs. The reaction I had to my cousin's birth process really hit me

hard--it was like I finally realized how sad I was that I didn't have

a joyous moment for my daughter when she arrived. I think it provided

some closure, really. Anyone else have this happen?

B. mom to Zachary 4.5 years and Carmen 20 months (CHARGE)

CHARGE SYNDROME LISTSERV PHOTO PAGE:

http://www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2117043995

Membership of this email support group does not constitute membership in the

CHARGE Syndrome Foundation; for information about the CHARGE Syndrome

Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter),

please contact marion@... or visit

the web site at http://www.chargesyndrome.org

8th International

CHARGE Syndrome Conference, July, 2007. Information will be available at

www.chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-.

[Guest guest]

.

Yes I have had that reaction a few times. Sometimes I can't help but be

jealous when other children are sent home from the hospital. The ugly " why

can't that be us " thought passes through my head each time.

HOWEVER, I try to console myself with the positives. Cedie has been a

blessing to us. I would not trade her, even with all of her issues, for

anything. This whole experience with her has brought my family together in a

way that would not have been the same had she been " normal "

Bernie,

That OBGYN check up was rough for me too. The day I went there were 4 new

moms with their newborns there for their post partum check up. I was so

upset that I couldn't have Cedie there to show off! I cried 4 times during

the hour or so that I was there. It was awful

_____

From: CHARGE [mailto:CHARGE ] On Behalf Of

Bernadine Hill

Sent: Thursday, March 16, 2006 1:31 PM

To: CHARGE

Subject: Re: Effect of family birth after my daughter's dramatic

birth

Yes! It hit me when I had to go back to by OBGYN for a check up (his office

is in the same hospital I gave birth). I was leaving and witnessed a family

going home with their new baby. Wow, did that hurt!!!!!!!!!! And, it will

continue to happen again and again, but should be less painful.

It's good that you had that cry! It's healthy! This is such a roller

coaster and will continue to have ups and downs for many, many years.

Bernie Hill, Mom of Amber 9 and cHARGE 6

wrote:

Not sure if other's have experienced this, but the other night, I got

a call that my cousin was in labor with her baby. She has asked me to

be the Godparent for her little girl, and I had all along planned to

be at the hospital for the birth (my family is large, and we all sit

vigil while someone is having a new family member!) At any rate, I

was on my way to the hospital (alone) and all of a sudden just started

crying such a deep emotional cry--I honestly was surprised at myself.

I think I must have been grieving the happy birth process that I

didn't have with Carmen, who was born so tiny, not breathing, and gray

in color. I don't think I've really ever cried out since her birth,

as I'm very action oriented and have been so focused on all of her

needs. The reaction I had to my cousin's birth process really hit me

hard--it was like I finally realized how sad I was that I didn't have

a joyous moment for my daughter when she arrived. I think it provided

some closure, really. Anyone else have this happen?

B. mom to Zachary 4.5 years and Carmen 20 months (CHARGE)

CHARGE SYNDROME LISTSERV PHOTO PAGE:

http://www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2117043995

Membership of this email support group does not constitute membership in the

CHARGE Syndrome Foundation; for information about the CHARGE Syndrome

Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter),

please contact marion@... or visit

the web site at http://www.chargesyndrome.org

8th International

CHARGE Syndrome Conference, July, 2007. Information will be available at

www.chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-.

[Guest guest]

Thank you all for admiting those feelings it really does help to know that

you are not alone and there are so many other people out there with similar

stories. I was shopping for a birthday present for one of my other children

shortly after was born and the person that was ringing up my purchase

was far along in her pregnancy. Before I had 2 healthy children so

when I was pregnant with him it didn't ever even cross my mind that anything

could happen to the third child. So I feel like I was completely

blindsighted and with that moment still so fresh.. For some reason I was in

shock that someone could bring a child into the world with all of the risks

that could happen to the child. I felt like I needed to tell her that there

is a possibility that her child might be sick (like I was trying to prepare

her or something). Today I understand how irrational those thoughts are but

at the time they were so powerful!

Thanks all for letting me share. Hope that this helps someone else.

- Mom to (10) Dylan (3) and (7mo CHaRGE)

>

> .

>

> Yes I have had that reaction a few times. Sometimes I can't help but be

> jealous when other children are sent home from the hospital. The ugly " why

> can't that be us " thought passes through my head each time.

>

> HOWEVER, I try to console myself with the positives. Cedie has been a

> blessing to us. I would not trade her, even with all of her issues, for

> anything. This whole experience with her has brought my family together in

> a

> way that would not have been the same had she been " normal "

>

>

>

> Bernie,

>

> That OBGYN check up was rough for me too. The day I went there were 4 new

> moms with their newborns there for their post partum check up. I was so

> upset that I couldn't have Cedie there to show off! I cried 4 times during

> the hour or so that I was there. It was awful

>

>

>

> _____

>

> From: CHARGE [mailto:CHARGE ] On Behalf Of

> Bernadine Hill

> Sent: Thursday, March 16, 2006 1:31 PM

> To: CHARGE

> Subject: Re: Effect of family birth after my daughter's dramatic

> birth

>

>

>

> Yes! It hit me when I had to go back to by OBGYN for a check up (his

> office

> is in the same hospital I gave birth). I was leaving and witnessed a

> family

> going home with their new baby. Wow, did that hurt!!!!!!!!!! And, it

> will

> continue to happen again and again, but should be less painful.

>

> It's good that you had that cry! It's healthy! This is such a roller

> coaster and will continue to have ups and downs for many, many years.

>

> Bernie Hill, Mom of Amber 9 and cHARGE 6

>

> wrote:

> Not sure if other's have experienced this, but the other night, I got

> a call that my cousin was in labor with her baby. She has asked me to

> be the Godparent for her little girl, and I had all along planned to

> be at the hospital for the birth (my family is large, and we all sit

> vigil while someone is having a new family member!) At any rate, I

> was on my way to the hospital (alone) and all of a sudden just started

> crying such a deep emotional cry--I honestly was surprised at myself.

> I think I must have been grieving the happy birth process that I

> didn't have with Carmen, who was born so tiny, not breathing, and gray

> in color. I don't think I've really ever cried out since her birth,

> as I'm very action oriented and have been so focused on all of her

> needs. The reaction I had to my cousin's birth process really hit me

> hard--it was like I finally realized how sad I was that I didn't have

> a joyous moment for my daughter when she arrived. I think it provided

> some closure, really. Anyone else have this happen?

>

> B. mom to Zachary 4.5 years and Carmen 20 months (CHARGE)

>

>

>

>

>

>

> CHARGE SYNDROME LISTSERV PHOTO PAGE:

> http://www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2117043995

>

> Membership of this email support group does not constitute membership in

> the

> CHARGE Syndrome Foundation; for information about the CHARGE Syndrome

> Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter),

> please contact marion@... or visit

> the web site at http://www.chargesyndrome.org

>

> 8th International

> CHARGE Syndrome Conference, July, 2007. Information will be available at

> www.chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-.

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you all for admiting those feelings it really does help to know that

you are not alone and there are so many other people out there with similar

stories. I was shopping for a birthday present for one of my other children

shortly after was born and the person that was ringing up my purchase

was far along in her pregnancy. Before I had 2 healthy children so

when I was pregnant with him it didn't ever even cross my mind that anything

could happen to the third child. So I feel like I was completely

blindsighted and with that moment still so fresh.. For some reason I was in

shock that someone could bring a child into the world with all of the risks

that could happen to the child. I felt like I needed to tell her that there

is a possibility that her child might be sick (like I was trying to prepare

her or something). Today I understand how irrational those thoughts are but

at the time they were so powerful!

Thanks all for letting me share. Hope that this helps someone else.

- Mom to (10) Dylan (3) and (7mo CHaRGE)

>

> .

>

> Yes I have had that reaction a few times. Sometimes I can't help but be

> jealous when other children are sent home from the hospital. The ugly " why

> can't that be us " thought passes through my head each time.

>

> HOWEVER, I try to console myself with the positives. Cedie has been a

> blessing to us. I would not trade her, even with all of her issues, for

> anything. This whole experience with her has brought my family together in

> a

> way that would not have been the same had she been " normal "

>

>

>

> Bernie,

>

> That OBGYN check up was rough for me too. The day I went there were 4 new

> moms with their newborns there for their post partum check up. I was so

> upset that I couldn't have Cedie there to show off! I cried 4 times during

> the hour or so that I was there. It was awful

>

>

>

> _____

>

> From: CHARGE [mailto:CHARGE ] On Behalf Of

> Bernadine Hill

> Sent: Thursday, March 16, 2006 1:31 PM

> To: CHARGE

> Subject: Re: Effect of family birth after my daughter's dramatic

> birth

>

>

>

> Yes! It hit me when I had to go back to by OBGYN for a check up (his

> office

> is in the same hospital I gave birth). I was leaving and witnessed a

> family

> going home with their new baby. Wow, did that hurt!!!!!!!!!! And, it

> will

> continue to happen again and again, but should be less painful.

>

> It's good that you had that cry! It's healthy! This is such a roller

> coaster and will continue to have ups and downs for many, many years.

>

> Bernie Hill, Mom of Amber 9 and cHARGE 6

>

> wrote:

> Not sure if other's have experienced this, but the other night, I got

> a call that my cousin was in labor with her baby. She has asked me to

> be the Godparent for her little girl, and I had all along planned to

> be at the hospital for the birth (my family is large, and we all sit

> vigil while someone is having a new family member!) At any rate, I

> was on my way to the hospital (alone) and all of a sudden just started

> crying such a deep emotional cry--I honestly was surprised at myself.

> I think I must have been grieving the happy birth process that I

> didn't have with Carmen, who was born so tiny, not breathing, and gray

> in color. I don't think I've really ever cried out since her birth,

> as I'm very action oriented and have been so focused on all of her

> needs. The reaction I had to my cousin's birth process really hit me

> hard--it was like I finally realized how sad I was that I didn't have

> a joyous moment for my daughter when she arrived. I think it provided

> some closure, really. Anyone else have this happen?

>

> B. mom to Zachary 4.5 years and Carmen 20 months (CHARGE)

>

>

>

>

>

>

> CHARGE SYNDROME LISTSERV PHOTO PAGE:

> http://www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2117043995

>

> Membership of this email support group does not constitute membership in

> the

> CHARGE Syndrome Foundation; for information about the CHARGE Syndrome

> Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter),

> please contact marion@... or visit

> the web site at http://www.chargesyndrome.org

>

> 8th International

> CHARGE Syndrome Conference, July, 2007. Information will be available at

> www.chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-.

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, my sister had a baby eight months after Makenna was born. It

was really hard to go to see him. I really had a hard time

everytime someone would tell me of his milestones he was reaching.

Talking, walking, laughing, counting, ABC's etc. Now after 5 years

I can handle it much better. I still can't hardly go to the

hospital to see a baby. I have lots of friends have babies since

then and have only been strong enough once to go to the hospital to

see the baby. I am fine once they are home.

, Mom to Makenna 5

>

> Not sure if other's have experienced this, but the other night, I

got

> a call that my cousin was in labor with her baby. She has asked

me to

> be the Godparent for her little girl, and I had all along planned

to

> be at the hospital for the birth (my family is large, and we all

sit

> vigil while someone is having a new family member!) At any rate, I

> was on my way to the hospital (alone) and all of a sudden just

started

> crying such a deep emotional cry--I honestly was surprised at

myself.

> I think I must have been grieving the happy birth process that I

> didn't have with Carmen, who was born so tiny, not breathing, and

gray

> in color. I don't think I've really ever cried out since her

birth,

> as I'm very action oriented and have been so focused on all of her

> needs. The reaction I had to my cousin's birth process really hit

me

> hard--it was like I finally realized how sad I was that I didn't

have

> a joyous moment for my daughter when she arrived. I think it

provided

> some closure, really. Anyone else have this happen?

>

> B. mom to Zachary 4.5 years and Carmen 20 months (CHARGE)

>

[Guest guest]

I found that it hit me the most when K was still in the hospital and I would

watch all the other babies going home. It was hard at times. You're not

alone.

--

Weir

kawfolks@...

http://ca.geocities.com/weirfamilyrogers

[Guest guest]

My twin sister gave birth to a VERY healthy baby just a month after Maxwell was

born...and it was a home birth...very quick and easy (easy as far as labor can

be!). Even her labor though was less complicated! Mine was 13 hours of

excruciating pain with a million people around, hers was all about an hour at

home surrounded by only family, friends and her midwife.

I had a difficult time that night being truly joyful. At the time Max was

still in the hospital and I had to leave him to be there for my sister. I

wanted to be there but I felt I was betraying my son.

What I am finding more difficult for me now though is when I talk with friends

who are pregnant and they complain about their weight gain or their aches and

pains. I want to scream...ARE YOU KIDDING ME? But I try to be there in the

moment for them and rejoice in their " normal pregnancy " ...but I just feel they

are so naive and I just wish they would acknowledge what I endured. Does that

make sense? It's as though they don't think " this " could happen to them.

Sefcik wrote:

Thank you all for admiting those feelings it really does help to know that

you are not alone and there are so many other people out there with similar

stories. I was shopping for a birthday present for one of my other children

shortly after was born and the person that was ringing up my purchase

was far along in her pregnancy. Before I had 2 healthy children so

when I was pregnant with him it didn't ever even cross my mind that anything

could happen to the third child. So I feel like I was completely

blindsighted and with that moment still so fresh.. For some reason I was in

shock that someone could bring a child into the world with all of the risks

that could happen to the child. I felt like I needed to tell her that there

is a possibility that her child might be sick (like I was trying to prepare

her or something). Today I understand how irrational those thoughts are but

at the time they were so powerful!

Thanks all for letting me share. Hope that this helps someone else.

- Mom to (10) Dylan (3) and (7mo CHaRGE)

>

> .

>

> Yes I have had that reaction a few times. Sometimes I can't help but be

> jealous when other children are sent home from the hospital. The ugly " why

> can't that be us " thought passes through my head each time.

>

> HOWEVER, I try to console myself with the positives. Cedie has been a

> blessing to us. I would not trade her, even with all of her issues, for

> anything. This whole experience with her has brought my family together in

> a

> way that would not have been the same had she been " normal "

>

>

>

> Bernie,

>

> That OBGYN check up was rough for me too. The day I went there were 4 new

> moms with their newborns there for their post partum check up. I was so

> upset that I couldn't have Cedie there to show off! I cried 4 times during

> the hour or so that I was there. It was awful

>

>

>

> _____

>

> From: CHARGE [mailto:CHARGE ] On Behalf Of

> Bernadine Hill

> Sent: Thursday, March 16, 2006 1:31 PM

> To: CHARGE

> Subject: Re: Effect of family birth after my daughter's dramatic

> birth

>

>

>

> Yes! It hit me when I had to go back to by OBGYN for a check up (his

> office

> is in the same hospital I gave birth). I was leaving and witnessed a

> family

> going home with their new baby. Wow, did that hurt!!!!!!!!!! And, it

> will

> continue to happen again and again, but should be less painful.

>

> It's good that you had that cry! It's healthy! This is such a roller

> coaster and will continue to have ups and downs for many, many years.

>

> Bernie Hill, Mom of Amber 9 and cHARGE 6

>

> wrote:

> Not sure if other's have experienced this, but the other night, I got

> a call that my cousin was in labor with her baby. She has asked me to

> be the Godparent for her little girl, and I had all along planned to

> be at the hospital for the birth (my family is large, and we all sit

> vigil while someone is having a new family member!) At any rate, I

> was on my way to the hospital (alone) and all of a sudden just started

> crying such a deep emotional cry--I honestly was surprised at myself.

> I think I must have been grieving the happy birth process that I

> didn't have with Carmen, who was born so tiny, not breathing, and gray

> in color. I don't think I've really ever cried out since her birth,

> as I'm very action oriented and have been so focused on all of her

> needs. The reaction I had to my cousin's birth process really hit me

> hard--it was like I finally realized how sad I was that I didn't have

> a joyous moment for my daughter when she arrived. I think it provided

> some closure, really. Anyone else have this happen?

>

> B. mom to Zachary 4.5 years and Carmen 20 months (CHARGE)

>

>

>

>

>

>

> CHARGE SYNDROME LISTSERV PHOTO PAGE:

> http://www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2117043995

>

> Membership of this email support group does not constitute membership in

> the

> CHARGE Syndrome Foundation; for information about the CHARGE Syndrome

> Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter),

> please contact marion@... or visit

> the web site at http://www.chargesyndrome.org

>

> 8th International

> CHARGE Syndrome Conference, July, 2007. Information will be available at

> www.chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-.

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My twin sister gave birth to a VERY healthy baby just a month after Maxwell was

born...and it was a home birth...very quick and easy (easy as far as labor can

be!). Even her labor though was less complicated! Mine was 13 hours of

excruciating pain with a million people around, hers was all about an hour at

home surrounded by only family, friends and her midwife.

I had a difficult time that night being truly joyful. At the time Max was

still in the hospital and I had to leave him to be there for my sister. I

wanted to be there but I felt I was betraying my son.

What I am finding more difficult for me now though is when I talk with friends

who are pregnant and they complain about their weight gain or their aches and

pains. I want to scream...ARE YOU KIDDING ME? But I try to be there in the

moment for them and rejoice in their " normal pregnancy " ...but I just feel they

are so naive and I just wish they would acknowledge what I endured. Does that

make sense? It's as though they don't think " this " could happen to them.

Sefcik wrote:

Thank you all for admiting those feelings it really does help to know that

you are not alone and there are so many other people out there with similar

stories. I was shopping for a birthday present for one of my other children

shortly after was born and the person that was ringing up my purchase

was far along in her pregnancy. Before I had 2 healthy children so

when I was pregnant with him it didn't ever even cross my mind that anything

could happen to the third child. So I feel like I was completely

blindsighted and with that moment still so fresh.. For some reason I was in

shock that someone could bring a child into the world with all of the risks

that could happen to the child. I felt like I needed to tell her that there

is a possibility that her child might be sick (like I was trying to prepare

her or something). Today I understand how irrational those thoughts are but

at the time they were so powerful!

Thanks all for letting me share. Hope that this helps someone else.

- Mom to (10) Dylan (3) and (7mo CHaRGE)

>

> .

>

> Yes I have had that reaction a few times. Sometimes I can't help but be

> jealous when other children are sent home from the hospital. The ugly " why

> can't that be us " thought passes through my head each time.

>

> HOWEVER, I try to console myself with the positives. Cedie has been a

> blessing to us. I would not trade her, even with all of her issues, for

> anything. This whole experience with her has brought my family together in

> a

> way that would not have been the same had she been " normal "

>

>

>

> Bernie,

>

> That OBGYN check up was rough for me too. The day I went there were 4 new

> moms with their newborns there for their post partum check up. I was so

> upset that I couldn't have Cedie there to show off! I cried 4 times during

> the hour or so that I was there. It was awful

>

>

>

> _____

>

> From: CHARGE [mailto:CHARGE ] On Behalf Of

> Bernadine Hill

> Sent: Thursday, March 16, 2006 1:31 PM

> To: CHARGE

> Subject: Re: Effect of family birth after my daughter's dramatic

> birth

>

>

>

> Yes! It hit me when I had to go back to by OBGYN for a check up (his

> office

> is in the same hospital I gave birth). I was leaving and witnessed a

> family

> going home with their new baby. Wow, did that hurt!!!!!!!!!! And, it

> will

> continue to happen again and again, but should be less painful.

>

> It's good that you had that cry! It's healthy! This is such a roller

> coaster and will continue to have ups and downs for many, many years.

>

> Bernie Hill, Mom of Amber 9 and cHARGE 6

>

> wrote:

> Not sure if other's have experienced this, but the other night, I got

> a call that my cousin was in labor with her baby. She has asked me to

> be the Godparent for her little girl, and I had all along planned to

> be at the hospital for the birth (my family is large, and we all sit

> vigil while someone is having a new family member!) At any rate, I

> was on my way to the hospital (alone) and all of a sudden just started

> crying such a deep emotional cry--I honestly was surprised at myself.

> I think I must have been grieving the happy birth process that I

> didn't have with Carmen, who was born so tiny, not breathing, and gray

> in color. I don't think I've really ever cried out since her birth,

> as I'm very action oriented and have been so focused on all of her

> needs. The reaction I had to my cousin's birth process really hit me

> hard--it was like I finally realized how sad I was that I didn't have

> a joyous moment for my daughter when she arrived. I think it provided

> some closure, really. Anyone else have this happen?

>

> B. mom to Zachary 4.5 years and Carmen 20 months (CHARGE)

>

>

>

>

>

>

> CHARGE SYNDROME LISTSERV PHOTO PAGE:

> http://www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2117043995

>

> Membership of this email support group does not constitute membership in

> the

> CHARGE Syndrome Foundation; for information about the CHARGE Syndrome

> Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter),

> please contact marion@... or visit

> the web site at http://www.chargesyndrome.org

>

> 8th International

> CHARGE Syndrome Conference, July, 2007. Information will be available at

> www.chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-.

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

These feelings are normal and they will subside. Of course one never

wishes harm on another, but wondering why me is a very natural human

response.

Kim

> I even am

> starting to get angry that everyone else seems to have healthy babies.

> Please say I am not the only one! I want these AWFUL feelings to go away.

> They just bring me down so miserably.

>

> , mommy to Meagan (CHaRgE) and 17 months, and big brother

> 3 1/2 years, married to the best daddy in the world for 9 years

> -------Original Message-------

>

>

[Guest guest]

Kristie,

What a great post - you are so wise.

Kim

That day in the car,

> I think I mourned what my husband and I lost as new parents for the first

> time. I have " mourned " what Gracie lost, but I don't think I had ever really

> stopped to think about us as parents - - the anticipation of the birth of a

baby

> is tremendous and none of us anticipates the kind of births that we have

> experienced with our very special and amazing babies.

> It is healthy for these emotions to come out... especially the ones we don't

> even know we have locked up inside us. It keeps us healthy and strong... and

> real. I think that we are all so busy " taking care of business " and learning

> every day how to be the best parents we can be for our children with CHARGE

> that we forget we have some pretty profound needs and feelings, too. And, I

> don't think it's a " pity party " either... I just think that sometimes things

catch

> up to us and need release.

>

>

> Kristi

> mommy to Gracie (Turning three in one month! Her first IEP in two weeks!!!)

> and wife to a GREAT husband and daddy, :-)

[Guest guest]

Kristie,

What a great post - you are so wise.

Kim

That day in the car,

> I think I mourned what my husband and I lost as new parents for the first

> time. I have " mourned " what Gracie lost, but I don't think I had ever really

> stopped to think about us as parents - - the anticipation of the birth of a

baby

> is tremendous and none of us anticipates the kind of births that we have

> experienced with our very special and amazing babies.

> It is healthy for these emotions to come out... especially the ones we don't

> even know we have locked up inside us. It keeps us healthy and strong... and

> real. I think that we are all so busy " taking care of business " and learning

> every day how to be the best parents we can be for our children with CHARGE

> that we forget we have some pretty profound needs and feelings, too. And, I

> don't think it's a " pity party " either... I just think that sometimes things

catch

> up to us and need release.

>

>

> Kristi

> mommy to Gracie (Turning three in one month! Her first IEP in two weeks!!!)

> and wife to a GREAT husband and daddy, :-)

[Guest guest]

Kristie,

What a great post - you are so wise.

Kim

That day in the car,

> I think I mourned what my husband and I lost as new parents for the first

> time. I have " mourned " what Gracie lost, but I don't think I had ever really

> stopped to think about us as parents - - the anticipation of the birth of a

baby

> is tremendous and none of us anticipates the kind of births that we have

> experienced with our very special and amazing babies.

> It is healthy for these emotions to come out... especially the ones we don't

> even know we have locked up inside us. It keeps us healthy and strong... and

> real. I think that we are all so busy " taking care of business " and learning

> every day how to be the best parents we can be for our children with CHARGE

> that we forget we have some pretty profound needs and feelings, too. And, I

> don't think it's a " pity party " either... I just think that sometimes things

catch

> up to us and need release.

>

>

> Kristi

> mommy to Gracie (Turning three in one month! Her first IEP in two weeks!!!)

> and wife to a GREAT husband and daddy, :-)

[Guest guest]

I can relate. It is almost like feeling wise beyond our years after

suffering a " surprise " like this, that now we know something bad can

happen, and seeing someone else in the joyful ignorance of expecting a

child - it does sometimes feel like one wants to warn them that they

don't really have control of any of it. Fortunately that also gets

better over time and it is easier to just be joyful right along with

them. Kim L

I felt like I needed to tell her that there

> is a possibility that her child might be sick (like I was trying to prepare

> her or something). Today I understand how irrational those thoughts are but

> at the time they were so powerful!

> Thanks all for letting me share. Hope that this helps someone else.

> - Mom to (10) Dylan (3) and (7mo CHaRGE)

>

>

> >

> > .

> >

> > Yes I have had that reaction a few times. Sometimes I can't help but be

> > jealous when other children are sent home from the hospital. The ugly " why

> > can't that be us " thought passes through my head each time.

> >

> > HOWEVER, I try to console myself with the positives. Cedie has been a

> > blessing to us. I would not trade her, even with all of her issues, for

> > anything. This whole experience with her has brought my family together in

> > a

> > way that would not have been the same had she been " normal "

> >

> >

> >

> > Bernie,

> >

> > That OBGYN check up was rough for me too. The day I went there were 4 new

> > moms with their newborns there for their post partum check up. I was so

> > upset that I couldn't have Cedie there to show off! I cried 4 times during

> > the hour or so that I was there. It was awful

> >

> >

> >

> > _____

> >

> > From: CHARGE [mailto:CHARGE ] On Behalf Of

> > Bernadine Hill

> > Sent: Thursday, March 16, 2006 1:31 PM

> > To: CHARGE

> > Subject: Re: Effect of family birth after my daughter's dramatic

> > birth

> >

> >

> >

> > Yes! It hit me when I had to go back to by OBGYN for a check up (his

> > office

> > is in the same hospital I gave birth). I was leaving and witnessed a

> > family

> > going home with their new baby. Wow, did that hurt!!!!!!!!!! And, it

> > will

> > continue to happen again and again, but should be less painful.

> >

> > It's good that you had that cry! It's healthy! This is such a roller

> > coaster and will continue to have ups and downs for many, many years.

> >

> > Bernie Hill, Mom of Amber 9 and cHARGE 6

> >

> > wrote:

> > Not sure if other's have experienced this, but the other night, I got

> > a call that my cousin was in labor with her baby. She has asked me to

> > be the Godparent for her little girl, and I had all along planned to

> > be at the hospital for the birth (my family is large, and we all sit

> > vigil while someone is having a new family member!) At any rate, I

> > was on my way to the hospital (alone) and all of a sudden just started

> > crying such a deep emotional cry--I honestly was surprised at myself.

> > I think I must have been grieving the happy birth process that I

> > didn't have with Carmen, who was born so tiny, not breathing, and gray

> > in color. I don't think I've really ever cried out since her birth,

> > as I'm very action oriented and have been so focused on all of her

> > needs. The reaction I had to my cousin's birth process really hit me

> > hard--it was like I finally realized how sad I was that I didn't have

> > a joyous moment for my daughter when she arrived. I think it provided

> > some closure, really. Anyone else have this happen?

> >

> > B. mom to Zachary 4.5 years and Carmen 20 months (CHARGE)

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > CHARGE SYNDROME LISTSERV PHOTO PAGE:

> > http://www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2117043995

> >

> > Membership of this email support group does not constitute membership in

> > the

> > CHARGE Syndrome Foundation; for information about the CHARGE Syndrome

> > Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter),

> > please contact marion@... or visit

> > the web site at http://www.chargesyndrome.org

> >

> > 8th International

> > CHARGE Syndrome Conference, July, 2007. Information will be available at

> > www.chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-.

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

I understand completely. One of my friends, who is due in May, constantly

complains about her pregnancy. She says she hopes for a preemie just so she

can be done with it. I was floored! My twins were 7 1/2 weeks early! I tried

my hardest to take them to full term! Twins mind you...I was very

uncomfortable! It maddens me to here things like that come out of her mouth.

But, even more painful are the comments of " Gosh, I just hope I don't get

anything like you have " ....like it's contagious! I know what she means, but

some tactfulness would be nice.

Anyhow, I want to thank each and ever one of you for allowing me to speak so

freely. I actually cut and pasted some of these posts about the effects of a

dramatic birth, and sent it off to my (sometimes tactless) friend. I think

it will give her a good understanding of why I am so disassociated with

things like baby showers and visiting new babies in the hospital. I told her

how thankful I am to have my support group in all of you. You have no idea

how much peace I have encountered in my chaotic world over the last few

weeks. I should have joined a long time ago! You mothers are soldiers to

those of us who feel like they are weak. And, you CHARGErs, who speak to us,

are so inspiring. I look forward to Ellen's sunny posts. Chantelle, you are

a fighter, and I'm so proud to see how you take care of things (congrats on

your disability service funding!). Chip, you a have a good head on your

shoulders...you'll find yourself the perfect job! , you are such a

smart lady, it is so inspiring. When I read about you all, it reminds me

that everything is going to be okay. So, thanks to EACH and EVERY one of

you!

, mommy to Meagan (CHaRgE) and 17 months, and big brother

3 1/2 years, married to the best daddy in the world for 9 years

-- Re: Effect of family birth after my daughter's dramatic

> birth

>

>

>

> Yes! It hit me when I had to go back to by OBGYN for a check up (his

> office

> is in the same hospital I gave birth). I was leaving and witnessed a

> family

> going home with their new baby. Wow, did that hurt!!!!!!!!!! And, it

> will

> continue to happen again and again, but should be less painful.

>

> It's good that you had that cry! It's healthy! This is such a roller

> coaster and will continue to have ups and downs for many, many years.

>

> Bernie Hill, Mom of Amber 9 and cHARGE 6

>

> wrote:

> Not sure if other's have experienced this, but the other night, I got

> a call that my cousin was in labor with her baby. She has asked me to

> be the Godparent for her little girl, and I had all along planned to

> be at the hospital for the birth (my family is large, and we all sit

> vigil while someone is having a new family member!) At any rate, I

> was on my way to the hospital (alone) and all of a sudden just started

> crying such a deep emotional cry--I honestly was surprised at myself.

> I think I must have been grieving the happy birth process that I

> didn't have with Carmen, who was born so tiny, not breathing, and gray

> in color. I don't think I've really ever cried out since her birth,

> as I'm very action oriented and have been so focused on all of her

> needs. The reaction I had to my cousin's birth process really hit me

> hard--it was like I finally realized how sad I was that I didn't have

> a joyous moment for my daughter when she arrived. I think it provided

> some closure, really. Anyone else have this happen?

>

> B. mom to Zachary 4.5 years and Carmen 20 months (CHARGE)

>

>

>

>

>

>

> CHARGE SYNDROME LISTSERV PHOTO PAGE:

> http://www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2117043995

>

> Membership of this email support group does not constitute membership in

> the

> CHARGE Syndrome Foundation; for information about the CHARGE Syndrome

> Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter),

> please contact marion@... or visit

> the web site at http://www.chargesyndrome.org

>

> 8th International

> CHARGE Syndrome Conference, July, 2007. Information will be available at

> www.chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-.

>

>

>

>