Re: relationships and this disease - a progressive rant

[Guest guest]

That's true... love means that you are there for someone... no matter what... if they aren't there during the bad times.... junk 'em.. they aren't worth your time.

Same goes for friends... if they aren't there when you need 'em... dump 'em.... I've had to dump a few in the last few years.... I have enough to deal with without having to deal with someone being two faced and a poop.

How many times should you spend HOURS sitting and waiting for someone to show up, when they said they would, and not have them show? Explanation needed here... in this house I am in my office most all the time.. the rest of the house really isn't mine to use.... I live back here.... so when someone comes over, if they knock on the door, I can't hear them... the could jump up and down and scream out there and I wouldn't hear them..... so when someone is coming over I have to go out to that part of the house and wait... if the folks are home and they are sitting in that room watching TV or talking.. that means I sit outside... and when it's raining or cold.... that isn't fun.... and when the person, who said that they were coming at such and such a time doesn't show..... I'm not a happy camper... and when that same person does it over and over and over again.... I reached a point where I told them to stuff it... don't call me any more.. don't make plans with me any more.. then you won't have to worry about me getting mad at your standing me up any more.

The last guy that did this to me, just a friend, invited me for a day trip.. he had to go upstate running errands and had to come by this way on his way up and thought it might be fun to pick me up, I don't get out much, and we could gab and visit.... he'd get company for the boring trip and I'd get out and see some of the world... I enjoyed his company, we had great fun gabbing.. the errands to be made were short... maybe five or ten minutes at a stop, so no big deal for me to wait in the car while he did them.. it promised to be a FUN day.... So I get up that morning... shower, dress, get my pills set up for the trip, mini meals to take along so that I could eat on time... all set, and sitting out side that beautiful morning about ten minutes before he was due to show..... An hour later I went inside... putting a note on the door to call me from the pay phone down the road if he made it..... He never made it.... it was about a month later when he called and said 'oh, the trip got cancelled the day before so there was no reason to head up there'...

I'll let your imagination run through what I said to him....

The last gal that did this to me..... I met her through Freecycle, she had some broken computers and I just thought it would be fun to spend a day out.... she picked me up (I don't drive any more) and we headed to her place... I expected that we'd both be working on machines, she had four of them that were in need of care) Nope... I was set up to work on them while she sat on the couch doing her craft projects... I got one fixed and was to come back the next day to work on the others.... Okay... I said that I'd do this, I'll do it.... She picked me up the second day and back I went.. this day she was a bit more involved and it was starting to get more fun... we got another machine working and set up a wireless network for her. Cool... So the other two machines needed to be finished up and we planned on the following weekend. She canceled the morning that she was to get me..... So I went on with my day.... we rescheduled for the following weekend. I left my geeky geer in my mobile case. I got a job to do here...and had to unpack stuff to work, it was a paying job... Good...... she said that she would be busy the next weekend but for sure it would be the following weekend... okay... I re packed the wheelie case so it would be ready to go.... This went on for a couple more weeks.... then I got another job here.... I had to unpack the case again, to get at what I needed to do the job.... and when I got done with it I put all my stuff away, emptying the wheelie case and getting my life back in order... I'd been all flummoxed for about six weeks. When she calls back on the following Friday and that she'll be picking me up bright and early the next morning... I say no... I'm not going to spend the two hours required to pack all my gear back in the wheelie case to be stood up again. Period... for a paying job, yeah... I'll do it... but for free work for someone that I thought needed a hand? not after being blown off that many times... no sir....

Whew... guess I needed to get that out of my system... wow!!!

Last thought... I have a pager.... I have a code for the pager... If someone that has something planned with me can't make it, if something comes up.... all they have to do is call my pager and enter the code.. it's 86... the plans are "86'd" easy, right? Yet these poops that kept standing me up... couldn't even do that.... It's not like I needed any explanation, or even an apology... just a simple message on my pager to let me know that they weren't coming and that I could go on with my day and not sit out side forever..... or better, code me soon enough so that I haven't even got all ready to go out...

I guess I ask too much of people...

Topper ()

On Sun, 20 Nov 2005 21:41:16 -0000 "kitasha59" writes:

I got one for you guys. I remember sitting there shaking and trembling thinking I was losing my mind. I didn't know what was going on inside me just that something wasn't right. The anxiety level so so high in my body that I would just lay on the floor clawing at it. My husband at the time and I were scheduled to go on a trip to Mexico the following week. When I told him I was really sick and didn't think I could go he said ,"well even if you don't go I am going to go because I really need this vacation". What a selfish ass!! I was diagnosed severly hyperthyroid. I did end up going on the trip only because I was so drugged out from the Zanax they gave me for the anxiety. I never forgot how he treated me and yes I did divorce him several years later. The true test of love is being there through the good times and bad. Lois

[Guest guest]

That's true... love means that you are there for someone... no matter what... if they aren't there during the bad times.... junk 'em.. they aren't worth your time.

Same goes for friends... if they aren't there when you need 'em... dump 'em.... I've had to dump a few in the last few years.... I have enough to deal with without having to deal with someone being two faced and a poop.

How many times should you spend HOURS sitting and waiting for someone to show up, when they said they would, and not have them show? Explanation needed here... in this house I am in my office most all the time.. the rest of the house really isn't mine to use.... I live back here.... so when someone comes over, if they knock on the door, I can't hear them... the could jump up and down and scream out there and I wouldn't hear them..... so when someone is coming over I have to go out to that part of the house and wait... if the folks are home and they are sitting in that room watching TV or talking.. that means I sit outside... and when it's raining or cold.... that isn't fun.... and when the person, who said that they were coming at such and such a time doesn't show..... I'm not a happy camper... and when that same person does it over and over and over again.... I reached a point where I told them to stuff it... don't call me any more.. don't make plans with me any more.. then you won't have to worry about me getting mad at your standing me up any more.

The last guy that did this to me, just a friend, invited me for a day trip.. he had to go upstate running errands and had to come by this way on his way up and thought it might be fun to pick me up, I don't get out much, and we could gab and visit.... he'd get company for the boring trip and I'd get out and see some of the world... I enjoyed his company, we had great fun gabbing.. the errands to be made were short... maybe five or ten minutes at a stop, so no big deal for me to wait in the car while he did them.. it promised to be a FUN day.... So I get up that morning... shower, dress, get my pills set up for the trip, mini meals to take along so that I could eat on time... all set, and sitting out side that beautiful morning about ten minutes before he was due to show..... An hour later I went inside... putting a note on the door to call me from the pay phone down the road if he made it..... He never made it.... it was about a month later when he called and said 'oh, the trip got cancelled the day before so there was no reason to head up there'...

I'll let your imagination run through what I said to him....

The last gal that did this to me..... I met her through Freecycle, she had some broken computers and I just thought it would be fun to spend a day out.... she picked me up (I don't drive any more) and we headed to her place... I expected that we'd both be working on machines, she had four of them that were in need of care) Nope... I was set up to work on them while she sat on the couch doing her craft projects... I got one fixed and was to come back the next day to work on the others.... Okay... I said that I'd do this, I'll do it.... She picked me up the second day and back I went.. this day she was a bit more involved and it was starting to get more fun... we got another machine working and set up a wireless network for her. Cool... So the other two machines needed to be finished up and we planned on the following weekend. She canceled the morning that she was to get me..... So I went on with my day.... we rescheduled for the following weekend. I left my geeky geer in my mobile case. I got a job to do here...and had to unpack stuff to work, it was a paying job... Good...... she said that she would be busy the next weekend but for sure it would be the following weekend... okay... I re packed the wheelie case so it would be ready to go.... This went on for a couple more weeks.... then I got another job here.... I had to unpack the case again, to get at what I needed to do the job.... and when I got done with it I put all my stuff away, emptying the wheelie case and getting my life back in order... I'd been all flummoxed for about six weeks. When she calls back on the following Friday and that she'll be picking me up bright and early the next morning... I say no... I'm not going to spend the two hours required to pack all my gear back in the wheelie case to be stood up again. Period... for a paying job, yeah... I'll do it... but for free work for someone that I thought needed a hand? not after being blown off that many times... no sir....

Whew... guess I needed to get that out of my system... wow!!!

Last thought... I have a pager.... I have a code for the pager... If someone that has something planned with me can't make it, if something comes up.... all they have to do is call my pager and enter the code.. it's 86... the plans are "86'd" easy, right? Yet these poops that kept standing me up... couldn't even do that.... It's not like I needed any explanation, or even an apology... just a simple message on my pager to let me know that they weren't coming and that I could go on with my day and not sit out side forever..... or better, code me soon enough so that I haven't even got all ready to go out...

I guess I ask too much of people...

Topper ()

On Sun, 20 Nov 2005 21:41:16 -0000 "kitasha59" writes:

I got one for you guys. I remember sitting there shaking and trembling thinking I was losing my mind. I didn't know what was going on inside me just that something wasn't right. The anxiety level so so high in my body that I would just lay on the floor clawing at it. My husband at the time and I were scheduled to go on a trip to Mexico the following week. When I told him I was really sick and didn't think I could go he said ,"well even if you don't go I am going to go because I really need this vacation". What a selfish ass!! I was diagnosed severly hyperthyroid. I did end up going on the trip only because I was so drugged out from the Zanax they gave me for the anxiety. I never forgot how he treated me and yes I did divorce him several years later. The true test of love is being there through the good times and bad. Lois

[Guest guest]

I guess that I am one of the lucky one's -- relationship wise. I have been married to my high school sweetheart for nearly 32 years. He has seen me through a brain tumor, two thyroid tumors which have resulted in total removal of my thyroid in 1/2 increments, a hysterectomy, surgery to remove half of my stomach and the remaining problems associated with not having a thyroid and sleep apnea that I live with daily. He never complains -- is just there to love me. He is also a wonderful Dad and Grandfather. I wish everyone could have a man like mine.

Jeannie

Re: relationships and this disease - a progressive rant

I can relate... so much of what happened to me, the emotional stuff hit me through those 'magic' years... and then when my mind and emotions had reached the mid range, before I crashed bad hypo I found a man that said he loved me more than anything... that being with me showed him what true love really was and that he couldn't picture being without me... He was there, holding my hand when I was first using the crutches... and would jump up to get things for me so that I didnt' have to... but he didn't baby me.. I still did the chores while he was at work.. he was just really attentive when he was home...

I remember (adult topic, kids go away now) we were in bed one night.. and sleeping was getting bad for me... I had just started nesting so I was 8 inches higher than he in bed. He rolled over to kiss me before we went to sleep and then grunted and mumbled when he had to lift up on one arm to reach me.. He never said anything, at the time or later... but I had this thing inside of me that said that grunt was his first vocalization that I was too much effort.

He was supportive when I lost my home... and my car.. saying not to worry, when things were all settled and we could be 'official' he'd take care of me... and I'd take care of him... neither of us would ever have to worry about anything again..... and then later to find out all those years he'd been having affairs.... both men and women....

Was it my being hypo.... so slow with reacting, trying so hard not to jump to conclusions that allowed me to accept some of his stories? I know for a long time I was kicking myself for being so dumb, for letting him fool me soo thoroughly.. was it me.... or the hypo?

This jack(* & tossed me out two weeks before I was to go on his insurance... I had only a few pills left on my prescription... and desperately needed insurance for labs and more pills.. .and he tells me to pack up my stuff, he's moving someone else in...

sigh

I have to remember the good that came out of what he did.... as I sit here balling right now.. hurt and angry at what he did..... if he had not done what he did I would have still be underdosed on the synthetics, I would still be on crutches, or in a wheelchair.... I wouldn't have reached that point where I thought my heart would just stop and I'd drop dead so I had to do something, anything, safe or not.... or I would die..... and that is when I found the natural and in just a few months was leaving the crutches in the corner..... and then learned about what the docs had been doing wrong.. that the docs didn't care.

The sad part.. the truly truly sad part... the man that he pretended to be??? I still love that man with all my heart... but the man that he really is.... I could castrate him with a broken bottle without a second thought.

I remember that summer, three years ago... listening to my heart... beating so slow... and my breathing so slow.. and then I'd stop breathing... I just didn't have it in me to do the work to breathe.... I'd sit here wondering if some day my body just wouldn't start breathing again... if one night I'd go to bed and my breathing would stop and I wouldn't know it and just never wake up.... I begged at so many places, to get meds, to get help and they all told my that being hypo was no big deal, it won't kill you... and I'd tell them that I didn't have a gland... I wasn't just hypo.. they fried my gland and that I'd die without meds... and no one cared....

Now I need to stop crying... I need a joke... bad!!!! and in the mean time... I want everyone to give a shout.... thanking that jerk for setting me free so that I can be me again.... I'm so much better, walking and breathing and living again with the right meds and the right dose. And even if I am crying now... it's a good cry.. not like I did for so many years... crying all the time.. the sun would go behind a cloud and I'd cry and the commercial on TV had a baby getting a new diaper and I'd cry, and a movie would come on and I'd cry for some dumb reason... at least now I cry for a reason, if it's a dumb one!!!!

....perfect timing... On TV, right now... the National Pie Championships.. that will put me in a good mood.... maybe I'll bake a pie after the show!!! Everyone is invited for pie!!!!

Topper ()

On Sun, 20 Nov 2005 10:15:08 -0800 (PST) E Gillespie writes:

Oh...AND one more thing. I don't mean to minimize this for anyone...but I really think the timing for me really sucked. If I had been in a long-term healthy marriage where things had been established with kids...I think this all might have gone a bit different.

Like:

A husband to fight the doctors with me....who already knew me well enough to understand that I was not myself.

I wouldn't be racing against the fertility issues like I am now. Now...I don't even have a guy...and wonder if I'll ever make it.

I find that when I have tried to talk about this in forums I have gotten shot down. I understand this disease in not fun for anyone...but for folks who have lives that are well established already (maybe older...maybe married..maybe with their careers behind them)...don't face quite the same set of issues. When this hits you when you are just getting established..and you are still single and want to have kids...the grief and loss can be unbeleivably devastating.

~E:)

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG Free Edition.Version: 7.1.362 / Virus Database: 267.13.3/173 - Release Date: 11/16/2005

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Checked by AVG Free Edition.

Version: 7.1.362 / Virus Database: 267.13.3/173 - Release Date: 11/16/2005

[Guest guest]

I guess that I am one of the lucky one's -- relationship wise. I have been married to my high school sweetheart for nearly 32 years. He has seen me through a brain tumor, two thyroid tumors which have resulted in total removal of my thyroid in 1/2 increments, a hysterectomy, surgery to remove half of my stomach and the remaining problems associated with not having a thyroid and sleep apnea that I live with daily. He never complains -- is just there to love me. He is also a wonderful Dad and Grandfather. I wish everyone could have a man like mine.

Jeannie

Re: relationships and this disease - a progressive rant

I can relate... so much of what happened to me, the emotional stuff hit me through those 'magic' years... and then when my mind and emotions had reached the mid range, before I crashed bad hypo I found a man that said he loved me more than anything... that being with me showed him what true love really was and that he couldn't picture being without me... He was there, holding my hand when I was first using the crutches... and would jump up to get things for me so that I didnt' have to... but he didn't baby me.. I still did the chores while he was at work.. he was just really attentive when he was home...

I remember (adult topic, kids go away now) we were in bed one night.. and sleeping was getting bad for me... I had just started nesting so I was 8 inches higher than he in bed. He rolled over to kiss me before we went to sleep and then grunted and mumbled when he had to lift up on one arm to reach me.. He never said anything, at the time or later... but I had this thing inside of me that said that grunt was his first vocalization that I was too much effort.

He was supportive when I lost my home... and my car.. saying not to worry, when things were all settled and we could be 'official' he'd take care of me... and I'd take care of him... neither of us would ever have to worry about anything again..... and then later to find out all those years he'd been having affairs.... both men and women....

Was it my being hypo.... so slow with reacting, trying so hard not to jump to conclusions that allowed me to accept some of his stories? I know for a long time I was kicking myself for being so dumb, for letting him fool me soo thoroughly.. was it me.... or the hypo?

This jack(* & tossed me out two weeks before I was to go on his insurance... I had only a few pills left on my prescription... and desperately needed insurance for labs and more pills.. .and he tells me to pack up my stuff, he's moving someone else in...

sigh

I have to remember the good that came out of what he did.... as I sit here balling right now.. hurt and angry at what he did..... if he had not done what he did I would have still be underdosed on the synthetics, I would still be on crutches, or in a wheelchair.... I wouldn't have reached that point where I thought my heart would just stop and I'd drop dead so I had to do something, anything, safe or not.... or I would die..... and that is when I found the natural and in just a few months was leaving the crutches in the corner..... and then learned about what the docs had been doing wrong.. that the docs didn't care.

The sad part.. the truly truly sad part... the man that he pretended to be??? I still love that man with all my heart... but the man that he really is.... I could castrate him with a broken bottle without a second thought.

I remember that summer, three years ago... listening to my heart... beating so slow... and my breathing so slow.. and then I'd stop breathing... I just didn't have it in me to do the work to breathe.... I'd sit here wondering if some day my body just wouldn't start breathing again... if one night I'd go to bed and my breathing would stop and I wouldn't know it and just never wake up.... I begged at so many places, to get meds, to get help and they all told my that being hypo was no big deal, it won't kill you... and I'd tell them that I didn't have a gland... I wasn't just hypo.. they fried my gland and that I'd die without meds... and no one cared....

Now I need to stop crying... I need a joke... bad!!!! and in the mean time... I want everyone to give a shout.... thanking that jerk for setting me free so that I can be me again.... I'm so much better, walking and breathing and living again with the right meds and the right dose. And even if I am crying now... it's a good cry.. not like I did for so many years... crying all the time.. the sun would go behind a cloud and I'd cry and the commercial on TV had a baby getting a new diaper and I'd cry, and a movie would come on and I'd cry for some dumb reason... at least now I cry for a reason, if it's a dumb one!!!!

....perfect timing... On TV, right now... the National Pie Championships.. that will put me in a good mood.... maybe I'll bake a pie after the show!!! Everyone is invited for pie!!!!

Topper ()

On Sun, 20 Nov 2005 10:15:08 -0800 (PST) E Gillespie writes:

Oh...AND one more thing. I don't mean to minimize this for anyone...but I really think the timing for me really sucked. If I had been in a long-term healthy marriage where things had been established with kids...I think this all might have gone a bit different.

Like:

A husband to fight the doctors with me....who already knew me well enough to understand that I was not myself.

I wouldn't be racing against the fertility issues like I am now. Now...I don't even have a guy...and wonder if I'll ever make it.

I find that when I have tried to talk about this in forums I have gotten shot down. I understand this disease in not fun for anyone...but for folks who have lives that are well established already (maybe older...maybe married..maybe with their careers behind them)...don't face quite the same set of issues. When this hits you when you are just getting established..and you are still single and want to have kids...the grief and loss can be unbeleivably devastating.

~E:)

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG Free Edition.Version: 7.1.362 / Virus Database: 267.13.3/173 - Release Date: 11/16/2005

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Checked by AVG Free Edition.

Version: 7.1.362 / Virus Database: 267.13.3/173 - Release Date: 11/16/2005

[Guest guest]

>

Give him an extra hug for me tonight... he's a rare one.

Topper ()

> I guess that I am one of the lucky one's -- relationship wise. I

have been married to my high school sweetheart for nearly 32 years.

He has seen me through a brain tumor, two thyroid tumors which have

resulted in total removal of my thyroid in 1/2 increments, a

hysterectomy, surgery to remove half of my stomach and the remaining

problems associated with not having a thyroid and sleep apnea that I

live with daily. He never complains -- is just there to love me. He

is also a wonderful Dad and Grandfather. I wish everyone could have a

man like mine.

>

> Jeannie

[Guest guest]

>

Give him an extra hug for me tonight... he's a rare one.

Topper ()

> I guess that I am one of the lucky one's -- relationship wise. I

have been married to my high school sweetheart for nearly 32 years.

He has seen me through a brain tumor, two thyroid tumors which have

resulted in total removal of my thyroid in 1/2 increments, a

hysterectomy, surgery to remove half of my stomach and the remaining

problems associated with not having a thyroid and sleep apnea that I

live with daily. He never complains -- is just there to love me. He

is also a wonderful Dad and Grandfather. I wish everyone could have a

man like mine.

>

> Jeannie