Re: wits end or selfish rant?

[Guest guest]

- I am so sorry to hear about the difficulty in dealing with

your husband. You are not being selfish, and you have more than

enough reason to rant. My mother had Alzheimer's disease, and like

a said it is heartbreaking and exhausting to see someone you love

in decline and not enjoying life.

First, I would revisit the oncologist's suggestion about using

sandostatin. I have heard that this can be a big help, and I don't

believe it causes any worsening of disorientation or other mental

function- although ask your oncologist. That may help a great deal

with the cleanliness issue. Plastic covers on furniture covered with

sheets to make them more comfortable may not look the classiest but

are a help also.

When my mother got worse, we first hired a person she new, a lady

who had helped her with cleaning to keep her company, take her out

for walks etc. Then when she got worse we took her to a daycare

facility while we were at work. I wonder if hospice facilities offer

this kind of day care? It might be worth checking into.

Have you asked his oncologist if the CPT 11 be contributing to his

decline, or could he have progression of his disease with brain

mets? A while ago I saw a note in a U of Wisconsin cancer center

newsletter about a clinical trial to evaluate dexmethylphenidate

hydrochloride (d-MPH) to see if it would help to treat chemo related

side effects of fatigue, lack of focus and concentration, memory loss

and inability to organize daily activities. It said that this was

going to include 160 patients arount the country but gave no contact

number. I wonder if this or any other medication might help him

with his mental function?

Take care,

Kris

[Guest guest]

- I am so sorry to hear about the difficulty in dealing with

your husband. You are not being selfish, and you have more than

enough reason to rant. My mother had Alzheimer's disease, and like

a said it is heartbreaking and exhausting to see someone you love

in decline and not enjoying life.

First, I would revisit the oncologist's suggestion about using

sandostatin. I have heard that this can be a big help, and I don't

believe it causes any worsening of disorientation or other mental

function- although ask your oncologist. That may help a great deal

with the cleanliness issue. Plastic covers on furniture covered with

sheets to make them more comfortable may not look the classiest but

are a help also.

When my mother got worse, we first hired a person she new, a lady

who had helped her with cleaning to keep her company, take her out

for walks etc. Then when she got worse we took her to a daycare

facility while we were at work. I wonder if hospice facilities offer

this kind of day care? It might be worth checking into.

Have you asked his oncologist if the CPT 11 be contributing to his

decline, or could he have progression of his disease with brain

mets? A while ago I saw a note in a U of Wisconsin cancer center

newsletter about a clinical trial to evaluate dexmethylphenidate

hydrochloride (d-MPH) to see if it would help to treat chemo related

side effects of fatigue, lack of focus and concentration, memory loss

and inability to organize daily activities. It said that this was

going to include 160 patients arount the country but gave no contact

number. I wonder if this or any other medication might help him

with his mental function?

Take care,

Kris

[Guest guest]

- I am so sorry to hear about the difficulty in dealing with

your husband. You are not being selfish, and you have more than

enough reason to rant. My mother had Alzheimer's disease, and like

a said it is heartbreaking and exhausting to see someone you love

in decline and not enjoying life.

First, I would revisit the oncologist's suggestion about using

sandostatin. I have heard that this can be a big help, and I don't

believe it causes any worsening of disorientation or other mental

function- although ask your oncologist. That may help a great deal

with the cleanliness issue. Plastic covers on furniture covered with

sheets to make them more comfortable may not look the classiest but

are a help also.

When my mother got worse, we first hired a person she new, a lady

who had helped her with cleaning to keep her company, take her out

for walks etc. Then when she got worse we took her to a daycare

facility while we were at work. I wonder if hospice facilities offer

this kind of day care? It might be worth checking into.

Have you asked his oncologist if the CPT 11 be contributing to his

decline, or could he have progression of his disease with brain

mets? A while ago I saw a note in a U of Wisconsin cancer center

newsletter about a clinical trial to evaluate dexmethylphenidate

hydrochloride (d-MPH) to see if it would help to treat chemo related

side effects of fatigue, lack of focus and concentration, memory loss

and inability to organize daily activities. It said that this was

going to include 160 patients arount the country but gave no contact

number. I wonder if this or any other medication might help him

with his mental function?

Take care,

Kris

[Guest guest]

Dear : Well this is a great place to vent,and to seek information. I

do not

know where you live,or what your financial situtation is(insurance ) In is

very difficult

to be a caregive (spouse) to a cancer patient,ad then to have problems

stemming

from a stroke,and possible dementia,makes the load doubly heavy.I am assuming

you have to work. If you husband has medicare he may be entitled to some home

nursing,or how about a support group where there may be a male his age who

has

similar interest and maybe he feels like he is not going to get well and

needs to know

that he may be able to control if not cure his cancer. My husband is 73,has

mets

to both lobes,2 spots on his lung and a mass in several places,but he wants

to

live,and he is just the opposite of your husband,in personal hygeine. Usually

when

someone doesn't respond there is either fear or a feeling of being useless.

You did

the right thing is getting home assistance,hope it's a happy person who can

emphasize and cajole. We have lots of family and I work 10/12 hours but they

are

very good at covering my schedule if he feels bad. We did cpt11,which is

camtosar,5FU,Leuc and avastin,we did oxi,plus all 3,we are now on Xeloda which

is a pill form. Obviously you both need to make some changes. Is there no

family

member,or pastor,priest or social worker with you can sit down and seek

assistance?

Many employers have plans for just such emergencies and can point you in the

right direction and help you make a sound decision. You can't go on the way

you

described,it hurts you both. I am sure other people will answer you in a more

positive

and concrete manner. I can only say that there is light at the end of the

tunnel and

you need help,all I can do is offer prayers,hugs and the hope that you will

find a

solution that will help you both. God Bless Many hugs Nick & Jane