Maligning my child - For

[Guest guest]

Oh my God! Bless you and your children and your children's children.

Yours was the first post in the list that jumped out at me...and I thought

Oh Lord, What have I done! I've insulted someone's child.....

you must understand, I harbor a very deep-seated paranoia that my exuberance

and loosely termed " sense of humor " are going to offend at least 3 out of

every 5 people I come into contact with. It often sends me back to a huddle

on my couch, as I mutter 'shut up, just shut up!' to myself.(out loud, mind

you)

But, then I have a cupper (coffee), and off I go.

I am so relieved! It was YOU maligning your child, not me!!!!! I can

almost breath again-

mostly from laughing so hard at your message.

I'll tell you, I'm printing it out, and its going on the wall where I can

see it.

" I am fed up of sports candy. " You can't beat that anywhere! Its priceless!

And the " Aw, give me a hanky " Ooooh-too good! I think I'll make a sign on a

little stick and every time " big Dave " asks me for money I'll flash it at

him. That's going to make me feel SO much better!

A million thanks for obliging me. I haven't laughed this much since your

last excapades

report. I owe you-I don't what I owe you-but I owe you!

Love,

Mom to , 20 yrs old (CHARGE), 22 yrs. and partner to Alan (12

years now)

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I am trying to catch up on my 200+ outstanding e-mails so I am sure there

are much more serious issues I should be writing about, but hey, had a great

day so who wants to be serious!

Now, Elly the horrible. Yikes, I had not noticed I keep signing off with

Elly (3) being horrible .......... etc. I must always get onto the list

just after she has upset me. Perhaps the list is my therapy! Soooo, what

does she do that is so horrible? Not a huge deal actually. I think that

is so easygoing and passive that by comparison, some days just seem

a battle of the wills with our " I am not a little girl, I am a preschooler "

girlie. There is also the fact that rumour has it that children are

horrible at age 2. I anticipated and got my psychological armour polished

for the terrible 2's, never got them and took my eye off the ball and then

along came 3 and yikes! Don't 3 year olds rule the world??? No, actually,

don't they own the world? Is it all coming back now?

So what has the little darling been up to? She is unbelievably stubborn and

many a stand-off has been had in this house. She is even beginning to like

the " naughty mat " . I think she probably views this as time out from her

parents. Then there is the competitiveness with to the extent where

she has been known to hold my hands to stop me signing to . Tried to

make the point about this with her by trying to get 's hand over my

mouth while I was talking to Elly. Now who is competing with a 3 year

old?? Did I even mention the bit about her response of " boobies " to

anything she doesn't want to hear? When she really wants to push this

point, it is usually followed by raspberries. Sometimes I have to hide to

laugh to myself. I don't even know if I want to mention food and the

decision that couscous, peas and sweetcorn should be the daily diet and

besides this, the daily changes about what she likes or doesn't like.

Manipulative as parents can become, we have now taken to getting her to eat

for her favourite TV characters and family members. The current winners are

Sportacus and from Lazytown (which is quite good because they

advocate " sports candy " which is basically carrots, apples and all sorts of

other fruits and vegetables - although now we have the very grown up

statement " I am fed up of sports candy " . Ah well, good while it lasted!

Dora and Boots and Angelina Ballerina are also good for the bribes. My,

you have to stay one step ahead of a 3 year old. Do you want more? There

is plenty more up her sleeve! Gees, can't wait for the teenage years.

Then of course, most of the time she does and says the sweetest things too

so you can almost forgive the trying bits. This week, she was heard to say

" I love my lovely cuddly big sister " . Awww, give me a hanky someone! She

is also very good at reminding people that her sister is deaf and they

should sign to her, she always wants to give you a cuddle if you hurt

yourself, she takes her allocated job very seriously (feeding the cats when

reminded), always telling us all that she loves us, really wants to be

helpful most of the time, has the most fantastic sleep routine and sleeps 12

hours straight (now if only she could teach her sister this!), and best of

all, no attempts to clonk the fish on the head with her boots! I could go

on and on as she has lovely qualities really. She also can be very funny.

Sure Simon won't appreciate this but there was the day we were in a bank and

she was looking at his passport photo and announced for all to hear " daddy,

this was you when you had hair " . I nearly died laughing!

Well, you know the Julius Caesar thing of " the good that men have done will

be interred with their bones but the bad oft lives after them " ! So there

are times when the " horrible " Elly makes me forget the lovely little girl we

really have, and thank you for making me revisit this fact. On that

note, bet you are now thanking your lucky stars as you list the ages of your

children.

FYI appears to have given up her bedtime antics, but I should not

speak too soon, it's been less than a week and she is probably too tired to

bother.

Relieved.......

Flo

[Guest guest]

Flo,

I really had a good giggle at this Elise was just the same at that age

and so stubborn it was unbelievable.

She was a model child from 5 to 12 but now she is a teenager and well, what

can I say? She thinks she is so grown up and knows it all. Now I know what my

own parents went through !!!!

Elaine mum to Elise(13yrs) & Jack(8yrs) CHaRGE

Scotland

[Guest guest]

,

You are so incredibly funny as well as incredibly deep and wise. I may have

to join Michele in that diving suit (yes, I have been reading one or two of

your other posts).

This one made me laugh right out loud, then I noticed the way I had titled

it, not surprising you thought you were about to be given a piece of my

mind. Glad you enjoyed the Elly antics.

Flo

>

> Oh my God! Bless you and your children and your children's children.

> Yours was the first post in the list that jumped out at me...and

> I thought

> Oh Lord, What have I done! I've insulted someone's child.....

> you must understand, I harbor a very deep-seated paranoia that my

> exuberance

> and loosely termed " sense of humor " are going to offend at least 3 out

> of

> every 5 people I come into contact with. It often sends me back to

> a huddle

> on my couch, as I mutter 'shut up, just shut up!' to myself.(out loud,

> mind

> you)

> But, then I have a cupper (coffee), and off I go.

> I am so relieved! It was YOU maligning your child, not me!!!!! I can

> almost breath again-

> mostly from laughing so hard at your message.

> I'll tell you, I'm printing it out, and its going on the wall where I can

> see it.

> " I am fed up of sports candy. " You can't beat that anywhere! Its

> priceless!

> And the " Aw, give me a hanky " Ooooh-too good! I think I'll make a sign

> on a

> little stick and every time " big Dave " asks me for money I'll flash it at

> him. That's going to make me feel SO much better!

> A million thanks for obliging me. I haven't laughed this much since your

> last excapades

> report. I owe you-I don't what I owe you-but I owe you!

> Love,

> Mom to , 20 yrs old (CHARGE), 22 yrs. and partner to Alan (12

> years now)

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

You are so incredibly funny as well as incredibly deep and wise. I may have

to join Michele in that diving suit (yes, I have been reading one or two of

your other posts).

This one made me laugh right out loud, then I noticed the way I had titled

it, not surprising you thought you were about to be given a piece of my

mind. Glad you enjoyed the Elly antics.

Flo

>

> Oh my God! Bless you and your children and your children's children.

> Yours was the first post in the list that jumped out at me...and

> I thought

> Oh Lord, What have I done! I've insulted someone's child.....

> you must understand, I harbor a very deep-seated paranoia that my

> exuberance

> and loosely termed " sense of humor " are going to offend at least 3 out

> of

> every 5 people I come into contact with. It often sends me back to

> a huddle

> on my couch, as I mutter 'shut up, just shut up!' to myself.(out loud,

> mind

> you)

> But, then I have a cupper (coffee), and off I go.

> I am so relieved! It was YOU maligning your child, not me!!!!! I can

> almost breath again-

> mostly from laughing so hard at your message.

> I'll tell you, I'm printing it out, and its going on the wall where I can

> see it.

> " I am fed up of sports candy. " You can't beat that anywhere! Its

> priceless!

> And the " Aw, give me a hanky " Ooooh-too good! I think I'll make a sign

> on a

> little stick and every time " big Dave " asks me for money I'll flash it at

> him. That's going to make me feel SO much better!

> A million thanks for obliging me. I haven't laughed this much since your

> last excapades

> report. I owe you-I don't what I owe you-but I owe you!

> Love,

> Mom to , 20 yrs old (CHARGE), 22 yrs. and partner to Alan (12

> years now)

>

>

[Guest guest]

Elaine,

My daughter is normal after all! Roll on 5 if that is when normality sets

in. And if she turns out anything like your beautiful Elise that we met 2

years ago, then I am a happy bunny. Or have teenage years taken over? I

can't imagine her being anything less than just beautiful in every way. I

was sooo impressed with her. Perhaps she could be Elly's role model? Ah, I

see we met her during her " model child " years.

Flo

>

> Flo,

> I really had a good giggle at this Elise was just the same at

> that age

> and so stubborn it was unbelievable.

> She was a model child from 5 to 12 but now she is a teenager and well,

> what

> can I say? She thinks she is so grown up and knows it all. Now I know

> what my

> own parents went through !!!!

>

> Elaine mum to Elise(13yrs) & Jack(8yrs) CHaRGE

> Scotland

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Elaine,

My daughter is normal after all! Roll on 5 if that is when normality sets

in. And if she turns out anything like your beautiful Elise that we met 2

years ago, then I am a happy bunny. Or have teenage years taken over? I

can't imagine her being anything less than just beautiful in every way. I

was sooo impressed with her. Perhaps she could be Elly's role model? Ah, I

see we met her during her " model child " years.

Flo

>

> Flo,

> I really had a good giggle at this Elise was just the same at

> that age

> and so stubborn it was unbelievable.

> She was a model child from 5 to 12 but now she is a teenager and well,

> what

> can I say? She thinks she is so grown up and knows it all. Now I know

> what my

> own parents went through !!!!

>

> Elaine mum to Elise(13yrs) & Jack(8yrs) CHaRGE

> Scotland

>

>

>