Re: An uncomfortable Moment

September 11, 2003

sooo kewl.

i love that saying too~!!

and tory, thankyou also for your sharing your experience, its nice to know i am

not the only one that feels/felt that way

ARlene

I overheard a great comment someone made at Trader Joes- Friends are God's

way of saying 'sorry about your family'.

September 11, 2003

sooo kewl.

i love that saying too~!!

and tory, thankyou also for your sharing your experience, its nice to know i am

not the only one that feels/felt that way

ARlene

I overheard a great comment someone made at Trader Joes- Friends are God's

way of saying 'sorry about your family'.

September 11, 2003

That was my point Arlene.

And as for , I know she meant no disrespect, but it happens to really

touch a nerve with me to be told to " get over " something. I grew up with a

mother who wanted to be in such control of my life that she even wanted to

control my emotions. Example, a beloved pet died while we were on vacation.

We received the news that Pebermina had gone to the birdcage in the sky. My

sister and I were crying because he was our buddy and we loved him. My

mother's response?

" Oh knock it off. You're not that upset. It was just a stupid bird. Quit

your crying before I give you something to cry about. "

Even at my young age I took great exception to being told how to " feel "

about something. I will grieve over a damn bird for the rest of my life if I

feel like it. I will cry when I am sad. I will yell when I am angry (my poor

husband). And you know what, I will get over something when I am good and

doggone ready to get over it. I don't need someone telling me what to feel

and when to feel it.

That's why my response was terse. I know, of course, that can't

possibly understand that having grown up with a parent who wanted to tell me

how to feel about just about everything, with the term " Get over it " nearly

a mantra, I get my hackles up when someone else suggests it to me. I even

remember one time actually having the guts to say something to Mom about it.

" If the color of the tile on the floor upsets me, I have the right to be

upset. These are my emotions and I will be upset about it until I am no

longer upset about it and I don't need you telling me that I'm wrong. "

My point in replying to Arlene was to say " I feel your pain...been there,

done that, have the tear stained t-shirt. " How do I truly feel about it?

Well it's difficult. Part of me does want to respond like suggests,

rightly so. But it's my MOTHER I'm talking about. Despite her foibles and

flaws, she is still someone I love. She is also someone who holds a great

deal of sway over my emotions to this day. Like I said, though, it doesn't

mean I sit at home picking my mental and emotional scabs. It does mean,

though, that every now and again I notice a scar and remark on it.

~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'

Tory Klementsen, MCP A+

Career and Technology Educator

www.teechur.com

www.msteechur.com

-The successful person will do the things that the unsuccessful person will

not.

> Re: An uncomfortable Moment

>

> sooo kewl.

> i love that saying too~!!

>

> and tory, thankyou also for your sharing your experience, its

> nice to know i am not the only one that feels/felt that way

> ARlene

>

> I overheard a great comment someone made at Trader Joes-

> Friends are God's way of saying 'sorry about your family'.

>

September 12, 2003

> I once walked into a clothing store to buy a gift for my then thin

partner. Upon entering the clothing store, I was greeted by a fetus

who weighed 12 pounds, who all but ran up to me to inform me that

they had nothing that would fit me. I simply smiled and said " well,

you see, you have lots of stuff that would fit my boyfriend, but

since you cannot see past my fat, I shall shop elsewhere. She all

but chased me as I left trying to applogize. Honey, if people give

you crap about your weight, that is their problem not yours. I will

hold back my language, but if they cannot take you as is, then f***

em!!! You all are beautiful!!!

>

Hi ,

I know that feeling too.

Because I carried most of my extra poundage in my middle,

my " incidents " wee with people asking me " oh, when are you due? "

or " gosh, you look about ready to " pop " any day now " .

Number 1, it's really upsetting when you are trying to get pregnant

in the first place & nothing is happening, and number 2, it always

seemed to happen just when I'd lost 10 or 15 pounds, so it really

undermined me. It always left me feeling embarrased & uncomfortable,

and I had done nothing to deserve that.

My neighbor once told a lady " I'm not pregnant, IM FAT "

That seemed to turn the tables on the embarrasment factor, LOL

Bev

September 12, 2003