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OT: Phun - US MIL Humor (G)

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In an effort to ensure proper training and readiness among the military

services, Congress has approved the following changes to basic

principles of recruit training:

HAIRCUTS:

Marines: Heads will be shaved.

Army: Stylish flat-top's for all recruits.

Navy: No haircut standard.

Air Force: Complete makeovers as seen on the show.

TRAINING HOURS:

Marines: Reveille at 0500, train until 2000.

Army: Reveille at 0600, train until 1900.

Navy: Get out of bed at 0900, train until 1100, lunch until 1300, until

1600.

Air Force: Awaken at 1000, breakfast in bed, train from 1100 to 1200,

lunch at 1200, train from 1300 to 1400, nap at 1400, awaken from nap at

1500, training ceases at 1500.

MEALS:

Marines: Meals, Ready-to-Eat 3 times a day.

Army: One hot meal, 2 MRE's.

Navy: 3 hot meals.

Air Force: Catered meals prepared by the Galloppig Gourmet, Child,

Wolfgang Puck and Emeril Lagasse. All you can eat, of course.

LEAVE and LIBERTY:

Marines: None.

Army: 4 hours a week.

Navy: 2 days a week.

Air Force: For every four hours of training, recruits will receive eight

hours of leave and liberty.

PROTOCOL:

Marines: Will address all officers as " Sir, " and refer to the rank of

all enlisted members when speaking to them (i.e., Sgt. ).

Army: Will address all officers as " Sir, " unless they are friends, and

will call all enlisted personnel " Sarge. "

Navy: Will address all officers as " Skipper, " and all enlisted personnel

as " Chief. "

Air Force: All Air Force personnel shall be on a first name basis with

each other.

DECORATIONS/AWARDS:

Marines: Medals and badges are awarded for acts of gallantry and bravery

only.

Army: Medals and badges are awarded for every bullet fired, hand grenade

thrown, fitness test passed, and bed made.

Navy: Will have ships' engineers make medals for them as desired.

Air Force: Will be issued all medals and badges, as they will most

likely be awarded them at some point early in their careers anyway.

CAMOUFLAGE UNIFORMS:

Marines: Work uniform, to be worn only during training and in field

situations.

Army: Will wear it anytime, anywhere. (WITH A BLACK BERET THAT IS)

Navy: Will not wear camouflage uniforms, they do not camouflage you on a

ship. (Ship Captains will make every effort to attempt to explain this

to sailors.)

Air Force: Will defeat the purpose of camouflage uniforms by putting

blue and silver chevrons and colorful squadron patches all over them.

CAREER FIELDS:

Marines: All Marines shall be considered infantry first and foremost.

Army: It doesn't matter, all career fields promote to E-8 in first

Enlistment anyway.

Navy: Nobody knows. The Navy is still trying figure out what sailors in

the ABH, SMC, BNC and BSN rates do anyway.

Air Force: Every recruit will be trained in a manner that will allow

them to leave the service early to go on to higher paying civilian jobs.

Regards, -----------------------

Geoff ** Usual Disclaimers **

-----------------------

How can you have hope?

Get under the blood of the Passover Lamb.

EXO 12:7-3 / MAR 14:24 / REV 12:11

http://www.healingyou.org/ Nonprofit: Herbs, Homeopathics & supp's.

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