Guest guest Posted May 16, 2003 Report Share Posted May 16, 2003 In a message dated 5/16/03 2:37:42 PM Eastern Daylight Time, texaskiti@... writes: > Sometimes I just can't win > Kiti > Kiti, My DH is exactly the same!! WANTS me to lose so badly, then say " Want some ice cream with me, oh come on? " Then he sees me eating something and says " You know you won't lose if you eat that? " You REALLY can't win sometimes. Why do they try to sabatoge us like that. I wonder if they think we'll change when we get to our goal weights or that other men might find us attractive? HMMMM, something to think about anyway..... Fla Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 16, 2003 Report Share Posted May 16, 2003 I love you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE, Your perfect for me, I love the way you feel....yada, yada, yada. And then goes on to say BUT if you feel like you need to loose wiegh I suport you 100%. Says - stay away from the chocolate ect... Now - he said " I love you the way you are " ....I heard " yes, your fat, don't eat that " Am I alone here or do any of you think the same thing along these lines? Ang Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 16, 2003 Report Share Posted May 16, 2003 My husband is " more supportive " than I'd like sometimes. He lost 225+ pounds in a year and has kept it off for 2 yers now but is still very consious of eating habbits and such. Then sometimes, when I'm really doing well and loosing alot fast - he'll come home with a box of chocolates! Ang > Oh have you meet my boyfriend? It sure sounds like you know him! I'm doing very low carb *doc's orders*, and due to stomach ailments can not eat salads, yet, boy do I miss them! Can't eat much of any veggie raw. Now he says how he loves me and is proud of me for sticking to this etc etc...then gets all annoyed when we can't go get take out. There is very very very little I can eat from a fast food take out place. So I end up feeling guilty like I'm depriving him.. Sometimes I just can't win > Kiti Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 16, 2003 Report Share Posted May 16, 2003 My husband is " more supportive " than I'd like sometimes. He lost 225+ pounds in a year and has kept it off for 2 yers now but is still very consious of eating habbits and such. Then sometimes, when I'm really doing well and loosing alot fast - he'll come home with a box of chocolates! Ang > Oh have you meet my boyfriend? It sure sounds like you know him! I'm doing very low carb *doc's orders*, and due to stomach ailments can not eat salads, yet, boy do I miss them! Can't eat much of any veggie raw. Now he says how he loves me and is proud of me for sticking to this etc etc...then gets all annoyed when we can't go get take out. There is very very very little I can eat from a fast food take out place. So I end up feeling guilty like I'm depriving him.. Sometimes I just can't win > Kiti Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 17, 2003 Report Share Posted May 17, 2003 I was just talking about this with husband and he said (jokingly) " Don't loose too much weight, or the car will lean to my side when we drive down the street. " Ang > Chuck is on a diet because I am starting to show a noticeable weight loss. I tell him I am not on a diet, I am on a journey to a healthier me, LOL! He always says comments about WOW, are you sure you should eat that? or you're really packing it away tonight aren't ya? It drives me CRAZY!! So finally last night I said to him... I don't need a diet cop, you worry about what you're eating and I'll take care of myself. What I felt like saying is obviously I know what I'm doing if I've lost weight so far!! But I was trying to be nice! The other thing he always throws at me is " I hope you don't lose too much weight cuz I love your body the way it is now and I don't know if I'll like you skinny! " Can you believe that one!! I tell him don't worry, I'll never be skinny, just healthier, and if you don't like me when I reach goal then we'll worry about it when the time comes. Honestly, I think it is just his own insecurities coming out. My only advice to you is to try very hard to do this for you and not worry about about him. He loves you or he wouldn't be with you. I know its hard though, and up until a year ago I lived my life by what other people thought of me. And I was miserable. Finally I took charge and started living for me and I've never been happier!! Good luck! > Nicci > Ok - when a guy says... > > > I love you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE, Your perfect for me, I love the way > you feel....yada, yada, yada. And then goes on to say BUT if you > feel like you need to loose wiegh I suport you 100%. Says - stay > away from the chocolate ect... > > Now - he said " I love you the way you are " ....I heard " yes, your fat, > don't eat that " > > Am I alone here or do any of you think the same thing along these > lines? > > Ang > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 17, 2003 Report Share Posted May 17, 2003 Well I don't think they do it intentionally they just don't think about what they are doing. Last night he says to me, you should cheat tonight...I'm like I can't! we actually got into a 'discussion' about whether I should or not! UGHKiti _______________________________________________ No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding. Introducing My Way - http://www.myway.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 17, 2003 Report Share Posted May 17, 2003 Well I don't think they do it intentionally they just don't think about what they are doing. Last night he says to me, you should cheat tonight...I'm like I can't! we actually got into a 'discussion' about whether I should or not! UGHKiti _______________________________________________ No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding. Introducing My Way - http://www.myway.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 17, 2003 Report Share Posted May 17, 2003 Chuck is on a diet because I am starting to show a noticeable weight loss. I tell him I am not on a diet, I am on a journey to a healthier me, LOL! He always says comments about WOW, are you sure you should eat that? or you're really packing it away tonight aren't ya? It drives me CRAZY!! So finally last night I said to him... I don't need a diet cop, you worry about what you're eating and I'll take care of myself. What I felt like saying is obviously I know what I'm doing if I've lost weight so far!! But I was trying to be nice! The other thing he always throws at me is " I hope you don't lose too much weight cuz I love your body the way it is now and I don't know if I'll like you skinny! " Can you believe that one!! I tell him don't worry, I'll never be skinny, just healthier, and if you don't like me when I reach goal then we'll worry about it when the time comes. Honestly, I think it is just his own insecurities coming out. My only advice to you is to try very hard to do this for you and not worry about about him. He loves you or he wouldn't be with you. I know its hard though, and up until a year ago I lived my life by what other people thought of me. And I was miserable. Finally I took charge and started living for me and I've never been happier!! Good luck! Nicci Ok - when a guy says... I love you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE, Your perfect for me, I love the way you feel....yada, yada, yada. And then goes on to say BUT if you feel like you need to loose wiegh I suport you 100%. Says - stay away from the chocolate ect... Now - he said " I love you the way you are " ....I heard " yes, your fat, don't eat that " Am I alone here or do any of you think the same thing along these lines? Ang Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 17, 2003 Report Share Posted May 17, 2003 Chuck is on a diet because I am starting to show a noticeable weight loss. I tell him I am not on a diet, I am on a journey to a healthier me, LOL! He always says comments about WOW, are you sure you should eat that? or you're really packing it away tonight aren't ya? It drives me CRAZY!! So finally last night I said to him... I don't need a diet cop, you worry about what you're eating and I'll take care of myself. What I felt like saying is obviously I know what I'm doing if I've lost weight so far!! But I was trying to be nice! The other thing he always throws at me is " I hope you don't lose too much weight cuz I love your body the way it is now and I don't know if I'll like you skinny! " Can you believe that one!! I tell him don't worry, I'll never be skinny, just healthier, and if you don't like me when I reach goal then we'll worry about it when the time comes. Honestly, I think it is just his own insecurities coming out. My only advice to you is to try very hard to do this for you and not worry about about him. He loves you or he wouldn't be with you. I know its hard though, and up until a year ago I lived my life by what other people thought of me. And I was miserable. Finally I took charge and started living for me and I've never been happier!! Good luck! Nicci Ok - when a guy says... I love you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE, Your perfect for me, I love the way you feel....yada, yada, yada. And then goes on to say BUT if you feel like you need to loose wiegh I suport you 100%. Says - stay away from the chocolate ect... Now - he said " I love you the way you are " ....I heard " yes, your fat, don't eat that " Am I alone here or do any of you think the same thing along these lines? Ang Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 18, 2003 Report Share Posted May 18, 2003 Sorry ladies but...DAYUM i'm glad i'm single. one of the rare moments. me > Chuck is on a diet because I am starting to show a noticeable weight loss. I tell him I am not on a diet, I am on a journey to a healthier me, LOL! He always says comments about WOW, are you sure you should eat that? or you're really packing it away tonight aren't ya? It drives me CRAZY!! So finally last night I said to him... I don't need a diet cop, you worry about what you're eating and I'll take care of myself. What I felt like saying is obviously I know what I'm doing if I've lost weight so far!! But I was trying to be nice! The other thing he always throws at me is " I hope you don't lose too much weight cuz I love your body the way it is now and I don't know if I'll like you skinny! " Can you believe that one!! I tell him don't worry, I'll never be skinny, just healthier, and if you don't like me when I reach goal then we'll worry about it when the time comes. Honestly, I think it is just his own insecurities coming out. My only advice to you is to try very hard to do this for you and not worry about about him. He loves you or he wouldn't be with you. I know its hard though, and up until a year ago I lived my life by what other people thought of me. And I was miserable. Finally I took charge and started living for me and I've never been happier!! Good luck! > Nicci > Ok - when a guy says... > > > I love you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE, Your perfect for me, I love the way > you feel....yada, yada, yada. And then goes on to say BUT if you > feel like you need to loose wiegh I suport you 100%. Says - stay > away from the chocolate ect... > > Now - he said " I love you the way you are " ....I heard " yes, your fat, > don't eat that " > > Am I alone here or do any of you think the same thing along these > lines? > > Ang > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2003 Report Share Posted May 19, 2003 DAYUM??????KitiFrom: Amy To: weightlossbuddies2@...: Sun, 18 May 2003 21:14:18 -0000Subject: Re: Ok - when a guy says...Sorry ladies but...DAYUM i'm glad i'm single. one of the rare moments. :)me _______________________________________________ No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding. Introducing My Way - http://www.myway.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2003 Report Share Posted May 19, 2003 say it out loud, Da-yum...damn...dayum. same thing heh me From: Amy [mailto: weyekin1@y...]To: weightlossbuddies2@y...: Sun, 18 May 2003 21:14:18 -0000Subject: Re: Ok - when a guy says...Sorry ladies but...DAYUM i'm glad i'm single. one of the rare moments. :)me > > _______________________________________________ > No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding. > Introducing My Way - http://www.myway.com > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 20, 2003 Report Share Posted May 20, 2003 LOL oh ok! I was trying and trying and trying to think what words those letters could stand for! hahahahahahaKitiFrom: Amy To: weightlossbuddies2@...: Mon, 19 May 2003 23:55:00 -0000Subject: Re: Ok - when a guy says...say it out loud, Da-yum...damn...dayum. same thinghehmeFrom: Amy [mailto: weyekin1@y...]To: weightlossbuddies2@y...: Sun, 18 May 2003 21:14:18 -0000Subject: Re: Ok - when a guy says...Sorry ladies but...DAYUM i'm glad i'm single. one of the rare moments. :)me & gt; & gt; _______________________________________________ & gt; No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding. & gt; Introducing My Way - http://www.myway.com & gt; & gt; & gt; [Non-text portions of this message have been removed] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 20, 2003 Report Share Posted May 20, 2003 LOL oh ok! I was trying and trying and trying to think what words those letters could stand for! hahahahahahaKitiFrom: Amy To: weightlossbuddies2@...: Mon, 19 May 2003 23:55:00 -0000Subject: Re: Ok - when a guy says...say it out loud, Da-yum...damn...dayum. same thinghehmeFrom: Amy [mailto: weyekin1@y...]To: weightlossbuddies2@y...: Sun, 18 May 2003 21:14:18 -0000Subject: Re: Ok - when a guy says...Sorry ladies but...DAYUM i'm glad i'm single. one of the rare moments. :)me & gt; & gt; _______________________________________________ & gt; No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding. & gt; Introducing My Way - http://www.myway.com & gt; & gt; & gt; [Non-text portions of this message have been removed] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 20, 2003 Report Share Posted May 20, 2003 > I love you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE, Your perfect for me, I love the way > you feel....yada, yada, yada. And then goes on to say BUT if you > feel like you need to loose wiegh I suport you 100%. Says - stay > away from the chocolate ect... > > Now - he said " I love you the way you are " ....I heard " yes, your fat, > don't eat that " > > Am I alone here or do any of you think the same thing along these > lines? > > Ang Hey Ang. OK, from the guys POV... it's a no win situation. Asking a guy about your weight is sort of like asking, " Do you still beat your dog? " There's no good answer. If you ask, then do you want the truth or what you want to hear? As a husband I love my wife anyway she is... but if she asks about something I'm going to tell the truth, as gently as possible, but I don't want to lie. Now in our situation it was the other way around... I was big, she's a surfer... so I was the one being told I should lose weight for my health... and she waws right. I didn't resent it, I was just upset that I couldn't get up the gumption to use the discipline necessary to get my life right for her and the kids. As the former fat partner, I understand. But I also value the honesty. Ugly sometimes, but necessary for a good relationship. Good Luck. george Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 20, 2003 Report Share Posted May 20, 2003 > I love you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE, Your perfect for me, I love the way > you feel....yada, yada, yada. And then goes on to say BUT if you > feel like you need to loose wiegh I suport you 100%. Says - stay > away from the chocolate ect... > > Now - he said " I love you the way you are " ....I heard " yes, your fat, > don't eat that " > > Am I alone here or do any of you think the same thing along these > lines? > > Ang Hey Ang. OK, from the guys POV... it's a no win situation. Asking a guy about your weight is sort of like asking, " Do you still beat your dog? " There's no good answer. If you ask, then do you want the truth or what you want to hear? As a husband I love my wife anyway she is... but if she asks about something I'm going to tell the truth, as gently as possible, but I don't want to lie. Now in our situation it was the other way around... I was big, she's a surfer... so I was the one being told I should lose weight for my health... and she waws right. I didn't resent it, I was just upset that I couldn't get up the gumption to use the discipline necessary to get my life right for her and the kids. As the former fat partner, I understand. But I also value the honesty. Ugly sometimes, but necessary for a good relationship. Good Luck. george Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 20, 2003 Report Share Posted May 20, 2003 Good Point ....I figure if I already know the answer I shouldn't bother asking him, because your right it does put him in a no win situation. The hard part, and this is my problem- not his or anyone else's, is I dont' want to be different. I want to eat and drink like everyone else and I just have to realize I can't do that and lose weight. After I lose it, then I learn to maintain it and learn how to be 'normal' *S* Kiti _______________________________________________ No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding. Introducing My Way - http://www.myway.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 20, 2003 Report Share Posted May 20, 2003 Good Point ....I figure if I already know the answer I shouldn't bother asking him, because your right it does put him in a no win situation. The hard part, and this is my problem- not his or anyone else's, is I dont' want to be different. I want to eat and drink like everyone else and I just have to realize I can't do that and lose weight. After I lose it, then I learn to maintain it and learn how to be 'normal' *S* Kiti _______________________________________________ No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding. Introducing My Way - http://www.myway.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 20, 2003 Report Share Posted May 20, 2003 Hey Kiti. You know, I don't think we can ever be what we call " normal " . We want to eat. We don't want to exercise. We consider TV thin to be normal. Take a good look around you sometime... in a crowd... how many of those people actually look healthy? Is hte fast food industry successful because of the healthy crowd? Nope. 7-11? Coke? Nope. My goal wasn't and isn't to be normal... it's to be healthy. Being healthy lets me do more stuff and feel the effects of age less. At 46 I can play volleyball again. I can keep up with my kids. And down the road I'll have less problems. But it means reaching a goal and monitoring it FOREVER! Yeah, I'll eat sometimes and I'll allow myself some bounce room in my weight... but I now have an absolute cut off where I go strict to cut it back again. So normal and easy are out. The sad fact is I have to work at it the rest of my life... but it's worth it. And that's the bottom line for me. So don't be normal... you can have some of that stuff still, but hopefully you want even more than that for yourself. Good Luck in deciding your own motiviation and goals. > > > > Good Point ....I figure if I already know the answer I shouldn't bother asking him, because your right it does put him in a no win situation. The hard part, and this is my problem- not his or anyone else's, is I dont' want to be different. I want to eat and drink like everyone else and I just have to realize I can't do that and lose weight. After I lose it, then I learn to maintain it and learn how to be 'normal' *S* > Kiti > > > > > _______________________________________________ > No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding. > Introducing My Way - http://www.myway.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 20, 2003 Report Share Posted May 20, 2003 Hey Kiti. You know, I don't think we can ever be what we call " normal " . We want to eat. We don't want to exercise. We consider TV thin to be normal. Take a good look around you sometime... in a crowd... how many of those people actually look healthy? Is hte fast food industry successful because of the healthy crowd? Nope. 7-11? Coke? Nope. My goal wasn't and isn't to be normal... it's to be healthy. Being healthy lets me do more stuff and feel the effects of age less. At 46 I can play volleyball again. I can keep up with my kids. And down the road I'll have less problems. But it means reaching a goal and monitoring it FOREVER! Yeah, I'll eat sometimes and I'll allow myself some bounce room in my weight... but I now have an absolute cut off where I go strict to cut it back again. So normal and easy are out. The sad fact is I have to work at it the rest of my life... but it's worth it. And that's the bottom line for me. So don't be normal... you can have some of that stuff still, but hopefully you want even more than that for yourself. Good Luck in deciding your own motiviation and goals. > > > > Good Point ....I figure if I already know the answer I shouldn't bother asking him, because your right it does put him in a no win situation. The hard part, and this is my problem- not his or anyone else's, is I dont' want to be different. I want to eat and drink like everyone else and I just have to realize I can't do that and lose weight. After I lose it, then I learn to maintain it and learn how to be 'normal' *S* > Kiti > > > > > _______________________________________________ > No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding. > Introducing My Way - http://www.myway.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 21, 2003 Report Share Posted May 21, 2003 your right again *S* There really is no " normal " I guess lately with all the problems I have been having health wise I just feel so out of it with everyone around me. But I do know I want to be healthy, and to do that I need to choose what is right for my body and not what everyone else is doing. Shoot I " m 43 years old and finally guess I have to grow up *G* Kiti _______________________________________________ No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding. Introducing My Way - http://www.myway.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 21, 2003 Report Share Posted May 21, 2003 your right again *S* There really is no " normal " I guess lately with all the problems I have been having health wise I just feel so out of it with everyone around me. But I do know I want to be healthy, and to do that I need to choose what is right for my body and not what everyone else is doing. Shoot I " m 43 years old and finally guess I have to grow up *G* Kiti _______________________________________________ No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding. Introducing My Way - http://www.myway.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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