Re: honoring healthy boundaries/ obeying the internal intelligence

[Guest guest]

I struggled with this for years, and I still do sometimes. The thing I've

noticed about actually obeying body signals instead of just hearing them is that

you have to be ready emotionally. You're body may be ready, but you mind may

still feel deprived. IE is about listening to the body, not the mind but we

can't escape the fact that those two things are connected and IE will never work

unless they're both happy. I know that when I want to eat more than my body

needs, there's usually something going on with the rest of my life. I may not be

binging or really overeating, but I might have a hard time waiting until I'm

hungry or forgetting to listen to hunger cues. I suggest doing a little soul

searching to make sure everything's all right on an emotional level, because (in

my experience) IE comes pretty naturally when I'm in a good place emotionally.

McKella

>

> I'm really struggling at the moment and feeling " out of control " with food and

practicing IE. I've observed that When I get too focused on ONLY eating when I

am certain I am hungry and they stopping the exact moment I'm satisfied , I'm

left feeling very unsatisfied and the part of me that wants more begins to

rebel…and well when she starts to really yell at me the overeating is just

around the corner (just like I used to eventually " rebel " against other more

severe eating regimes). Relaxing into this lifestyle and food relationship is

very hard. I'm finding myself eating all the time and I start to crave a set of

external boundaries – a quick diet fix that will make me feel like I'm in the

driver's seat again and not at the mercy of my insatiable hunger and cravings.

> I am very proud that I have not started a diet in months, nor have I exercised

obscene amounts….but I've gained a noticeable amount of weight, which has set me

into a panic mode now that summer has arrived and I'm at an age where my friends

and I enjoy going to the beach in body-bearing swim wear.

> I trust my internal signals but I'm struggling to listen and act on them. I'm

having more trouble with the stop than the go (I have NO problem eating when I'm

hungry- although since I know I have a limited hunger I get stressed that I'm

not going to eat something that will satisfy me, and that I will regret the

choice I've made after I've already passed my fullness limit- too little hunger

and too many things I want to eat!)

>

[Guest guest]

Jeanna

Thinking too much!! I'm the same. If only I could just forget about eating once

in awhile. I try to find other things to define me, like my job, my home, my

accomplishments.

Do you nap? It's satisfying, no-cal, and free.

Foggy

>

> I'm really struggling at the moment and feeling " out of control " with food and

practicing IE. I've observed that When I get too focused on ONLY eating when I

am certain I am hungry and they stopping the exact moment I'm satisfied , I'm

left feeling very unsatisfied and the part of me that wants more begins to

rebel…and well when she starts to really yell at me the overeating is just

around the corner (just like I used to eventually " rebel " against other more

severe eating regimes). Relaxing into this lifestyle and food relationship is

very hard. I'm finding myself eating all the time and I start to crave a set of

external boundaries – a quick diet fix that will make me feel like I'm in the

driver's seat again and not at the mercy of my insatiable hunger and cravings.

> I am very proud that I have not started a diet in months, nor have I exercised

obscene amounts….but I've gained a noticeable amount of weight, which has set me

into a panic mode now that summer has arrived and I'm at an age where my friends

and I enjoy going to the beach in body-bearing swim wear.

> I trust my internal signals but I'm struggling to listen and act on them. I'm

having more trouble with the stop than the go (I have NO problem eating when I'm

hungry- although since I know I have a limited hunger I get stressed that I'm

not going to eat something that will satisfy me, and that I will regret the

choice I've made after I've already passed my fullness limit- too little hunger

and too many things I want to eat!)

>

[Guest guest]

I have a similar experience all the time. Since starting IE in February I have

been eating a lot of the things that I used to not allow myself to eat freely.

The thing I struggled with most before was sweets and I now let myself have

those when I feel like them.

My trouble is that now that I can have sweets when I feel like them, I don't

actually feel like them that much. And I think I am feeling a little cheated

because I've been wanting them all my life and now that I am letting myself I am

not that interested. Sweets used to be special and satisfying partly because

they were not allowed.

I find that I still do eat sweets several times a week to several times a day

just because I can. But I also am starting to feel like I should let go of that.

I notice that when I am not eating from hunger I can usually identify some

things that are going on emotionally and sometimes I let myself have something

sweet and other times just noticing what's going on takes care of the craving.

But I can't help feeling a loss at the thought that my life going forward will

have few sweets in it.

> >

> >>

> >>

> >> I remember someone saying that to be too rigid with no-diet, we actually

> >> turn it into a diet.

> >>

> >> For example...in the morning I often make oatmeal, usually about the same

> >> amount. Some days I am satisfied when I finish the bowl. Some days I am

> >> satisfied when there are a couple of spoonfuls left. Well, I'm not going to

> >> throw that away...I'm satisfied but not full, and even if I eat the last

> >> little bit I'm still not full. Now, if I'm eating out and I have too much,

I

> >> easily leave the rest on my plate.

> >> Carole

> >>

> >>

> >> *From:* Casey Anne

> >> *To:* IntuitiveEating_Support

> >> *Sent:* Sun, May 29, 2011 10:01:25 AM

> >> *Subject:* Re: Re: honoring healthy boundaries/

> >> obeying the internal intelligence

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >> Another thought is that you may be being too black/white about IE, which

> >> can really play in to a need to control and be " perfect. " Which of course

> >> brings out our inner rebel-child! If IE is about anything its about not

> >> being perfect, so maybe try and relax a little bit. It is ok if you overeat

> >> if you find something delicious, or undereat if you don't, you'll be

> >> alright!

> >>

> >>

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I agree with you Carole, but sometimes, for one reason or another, what we

really want isn't available, or we can't quite determine what will be most

satisfying- a craving for a food that we can't identify. I am struggling with

learning to feel satisfied when my physical needs have been met.

> > >

> > >>

> > >>

> > >> I remember someone saying that to be too rigid with no-diet, we actually

> > >> turn it into a diet.

> > >>

> > >> For example...in the morning I often make oatmeal, usually about the same

> > >> amount. Some days I am satisfied when I finish the bowl. Some days I am

> > >> satisfied when there are a couple of spoonfuls left. Well, I'm not going

to

> > >> throw that away...I'm satisfied but not full, and even if I eat the last

> > >> little bit I'm still not full. Now, if I'm eating out and I have too

much, I

> > >> easily leave the rest on my plate.

> > >> Carole

> > >>

> > >>

> > >> *From:* Casey Anne <ruddenca@>

> > >> *To:* IntuitiveEating_Support

> > >> *Sent:* Sun, May 29, 2011 10:01:25 AM

> > >> *Subject:* Re: Re: honoring healthy boundaries/

> > >> obeying the internal intelligence

> > >>

> > >>

> > >>

> > >> Another thought is that you may be being too black/white about IE, which

> > >> can really play in to a need to control and be " perfect. " Which of course

> > >> brings out our inner rebel-child! If IE is about anything its about

not

> > >> being perfect, so maybe try and relax a little bit. It is ok if you

overeat

> > >> if you find something delicious, or undereat if you don't, you'll be

> > >> alright!

> > >>

> > >>

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Sandy,

Your response today was incredibly helpful. Someone else said to me last week

that she thought I have too many " shoulds. " I think I really need to look at

that. And I think you are right too that looking at the loss component might be

helpful. I appreciate you reflecting back at me what I was not able to see in my

own post. I feel like it is helping some things shift. Thanks again!

Eliana

> >

> > > >

> > > >>

> > > >>

> > > >> I remember someone saying that to be too rigid with no-diet, we

> > actually

> > > >> turn it into a diet.

> > > >>

> > > >> For example...in the morning I often make oatmeal, usually about the

> > same

> > > >> amount. Some days I am satisfied when I finish the bowl. Some days I

> > am

> > > >> satisfied when there are a couple of spoonfuls left. Well, I'm not

> > going to

> > > >> throw that away...I'm satisfied but not full, and even if I eat the

> > last

> > > >> little bit I'm still not full. Now, if I'm eating out and I have too

> > much, I

> > > >> easily leave the rest on my plate.

> > > >> Carole

> > > >>

> > > >>

> > > >> *From:* Casey Anne <ruddenca@>

> > > >> *To:* IntuitiveEating_Support

> >

> > > >> *Sent:* Sun, May 29, 2011 10:01:25 AM

> > > >> *Subject:* Re: Re: honoring healthy

> > boundaries/

> > > >> obeying the internal intelligence

> > > >>

> > > >>

> > > >>

> > > >> Another thought is that you may be being too black/white about IE,

> > which

> > > >> can really play in to a need to control and be " perfect. " Which of

> > course

> > > >> brings out our inner rebel-child! If IE is about anything its about

> > not

> > > >> being perfect, so maybe try and relax a little bit. It is ok if you

> > overeat

> > > >> if you find something delicious, or undereat if you don't, you'll be

> > > >> alright!

> > > >>

> > > >>

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Eliana

I think its so wise of you to notice this as an emotional loss. You are learning

what makes Eliana thrive

Foggy

> > >

> > >>

> > >>

> > >> I remember someone saying that to be too rigid with no-diet, we actually

> > >> turn it into a diet.

> > >>

> > >> For example...in the morning I often make oatmeal, usually about the same

> > >> amount. Some days I am satisfied when I finish the bowl. Some days I am

> > >> satisfied when there are a couple of spoonfuls left. Well, I'm not going

to

> > >> throw that away...I'm satisfied but not full, and even if I eat the last

> > >> little bit I'm still not full. Now, if I'm eating out and I have too

much, I

> > >> easily leave the rest on my plate.

> > >> Carole

> > >>

> > >>

> > >> *From:* Casey Anne <ruddenca@>

> > >> *To:* IntuitiveEating_Support

> > >> *Sent:* Sun, May 29, 2011 10:01:25 AM

> > >> *Subject:* Re: Re: honoring healthy boundaries/

> > >> obeying the internal intelligence

> > >>

> > >>

> > >>

> > >> Another thought is that you may be being too black/white about IE, which

> > >> can really play in to a need to control and be " perfect. " Which of course

> > >> brings out our inner rebel-child! If IE is about anything its about

not

> > >> being perfect, so maybe try and relax a little bit. It is ok if you

overeat

> > >> if you find something delicious, or undereat if you don't, you'll be

> > >> alright!

> > >>

> > >>

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>