First Oncology meeting

[Guest guest]

: Hello, tell Mike to stay positive,he has a great future and

seems they

got to it right away. Glad you had the sense to accept advice to change.

You(he)

are in charge and if you don't get positive support,something wrong. Is there

going to be any radiaion. Will it be with,before or after? they will twll you

how they

will adminsiter the chemotherapy. Does he have a port? This helps a lot and

makes

it much easier. How often,for how long. Weekly blood work, C.A.T or P.E.T.

scans

Diet,possible side effects,what to look for..Take long enough to feel that

you under-

stand what is being said. For the boys,a simple explanation and saying he

will be having treatment and may get tired,cranky or lose some hair, etc. Talk

to

your onc. Is there a support group that could help and explain..been there

done that,,or is that

not an option. personally,we pray every day and we add new people to our

circle and

it helps us. That may not be you way,but whatever works for you is what

really counts

Having a loving,supportive family makes a tremendous difference. Stay well

yourself

and believe that this will be a positive experience. Nick & Jane

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone - I posted recently with my son's newly diagnosed colon

cancer. He had the colon tumor removed w/his gall bladder, has 3

very small mets to the liver, just had a cat scan of the lungs and

stomach (clear), but has a " few " lymph nodes that are positive.

Tomorrow is his first meeting with the onc we chose (the " grab bag "

onc the hospital sent our way was so bad and all of you said to get

rid of him, which we did - great advice!).

My son just called and he and his wife have asked me if I would go

with them to the onc for the first meeting. I think they are really

afraid that they won't ask the right questions, or think of the

right things to say. Of course I am going to go, but I would

appreciate any help you all can give as to the right questions, what

we should be asking, what we should be telling, etc.

Also, my son has 3 small boys (10, 9 and 5) and they have not yet

been told. They just know dad had surgery. Mike wants to have

family counseling to tell the boys - what do you all think? I

believe he is afraid he will not say it right and do more harm than

good.

And before I forget - I can't tell you how much this group means to

me. Mike is pretty depressed right now, and I have taken to reading

all the postings and choosing the upbeat ones to pass on to him. It

has helped him tremendously and is a lifeline for me. I am putting

on the strong brave mom face for Mike, but inside I am terrified.

This board has been a godsend. So from me to all of you, a huge

cyberhug and all the good thoughts I can find. THANK YOU ALL!

[Guest guest]

> Hi everyone - I posted recently with my son's newly diagnosed colon

> cancer. He had the colon tumor removed w/his gall bladder, has 3

> very small mets to the liver, just had a cat scan of the lungs and

> stomach (clear), but has a " few " lymph nodes that are positive.

> Tomorrow is his first meeting with the onc we chose (the " grab bag "

> onc the hospital sent our way was so bad and all of you said to get

> rid of him, which we did - great advice!).

>

> My son just called and he and his wife have asked me if I would go

> with them to the onc for the first meeting. I think they are

really

> afraid that they won't ask the right questions, or think of the

> right things to say. Of course I am going to go, but I would

> appreciate any help you all can give as to the right questions,

what

> we should be asking, what we should be telling, etc.

You are going to have three heads rather than one. That's really

good since you can cover more issues from different experiences. I

promise that each person will have a different perspective and that

will make the questions that much better. I'd guess the Onc will

discuss the pathology report from the tissues removed from surgery

and what path he suggests to fight this beast. I'm not a good

resource on this since I was diagnosed early with no lymph nodes

positive or mets.

>

> Also, my son has 3 small boys (10, 9 and 5) and they have not yet

> been told. They just know dad had surgery. Mike wants to have

> family counseling to tell the boys - what do you all think? I

> believe he is afraid he will not say it right and do more harm than

> good.

>

Counseling might do a lot of good. If there are kid's support groups

then you might want to consider that too. I wish I had found this

group when I was confronted with all the choices and having doubts.

Support groups can be wonderful!

I have three children myself. They were 11, 8 and 2 at the time of

my Dx. I tried to be as honest as I could. I still don't how well

my oldest dealt with it. She can be a real clam. She talks to her

mom so I think she's ok. My next oldest would have bad dreams from

time to time and he also was a bit preoccupied with death (I wonder

why ;-) ). I tried to talk to them as optimistically as I could.

I told them that I could die but then I could die in a traffic

accident tomorrow too. I said I did not want to leave them and I

would do all I could to stay with them. I think my wife had the

harder task since they were scared to admit to me that they were

scared. That's where a bit of help would really be good. I

say, " Make it easier for the caregivers! "

I don't know how well it came off but it probably did change them.

You can't help but be changed by this. Since I was Dx'd as an early

stage I have a great shot at being cured. I don't think my kids

think about it much now but they get reminded every time I go for a

CT or PET scan.

> And before I forget - I can't tell you how much this group means to

> me. Mike is pretty depressed right now, and I have taken to

reading

> all the postings and choosing the upbeat ones to pass on to him.

One of the worst parts of my journey was not being able to do much

physically when I really needed to DO something. I do my best

thinking when I'm running, doing lawnwork or whatever. Maybe if he

had something to occupy his hands and mind he could deal with it a

bit better.

Hang in there. Miracles happen!

Cliff H.

[Guest guest]

Hi :

I think it's a very good idea that you accompany your son and

daughter-in-law when they meet with the oncologist for the first

time. I went with my mother when she was diagnosed with lung cancer

and I went with my husband Bert for his initial oncologist meeting

when he was diagnosed with colon cancer. I can only tell you that as

I watched each of them, they did exactly what I wanted to do, SHUT

DOWN and were only able to grasp so much. Not that it was any easier

for me but since I knew I would be fighting for each of them, I was

able to stay " more with it " if you will and ask all those questions

that needed to be asked (thanks to the help from this group...I came

prepared for first visit with Bert and a lung cancer support group

armed me with questions when I went with my mom).

Anyway, I understand your fear completely...I really do. I have only

one son and he's 27. I'm an only child whose father passed away 13

years ago, mother is battling inoperable lung cancer, and husband is

battling stage III colon cancer. If something happened to my son, I

think I would totally lose it. I am so afraid all the time but I

find the more that I advocate, educate, and keep a positive attitude,

the less afraid I become. It never really goes away completely, but

I am able to tolerate it and better handle the downs along with the

ups.

Please keep us posted; stay positive and please, please, please tell

your son to stay positive; and here's a bunch of good vibes coming

your way :-)

Fondly,

Monika

> Hi everyone - I posted recently with my son's newly diagnosed colon

> cancer. He had the colon tumor removed w/his gall bladder, has 3

> very small mets to the liver, just had a cat scan of the lungs and

> stomach (clear), but has a " few " lymph nodes that are positive.

> Tomorrow is his first meeting with the onc we chose (the " grab bag "

> onc the hospital sent our way was so bad and all of you said to get

> rid of him, which we did - great advice!).

>

> My son just called and he and his wife have asked me if I would go

> with them to the onc for the first meeting. I think they are

really

> afraid that they won't ask the right questions, or think of the

> right things to say. Of course I am going to go, but I would

> appreciate any help you all can give as to the right questions,

what

> we should be asking, what we should be telling, etc.

>

> Also, my son has 3 small boys (10, 9 and 5) and they have not yet

> been told. They just know dad had surgery. Mike wants to have

> family counseling to tell the boys - what do you all think? I

> believe he is afraid he will not say it right and do more harm than

> good.

>

> And before I forget - I can't tell you how much this group means to

> me. Mike is pretty depressed right now, and I have taken to

reading

> all the postings and choosing the upbeat ones to pass on to him.

It

> has helped him tremendously and is a lifeline for me. I am putting

> on the strong brave mom face for Mike, but inside I am terrified.

> This board has been a godsend. So from me to all of you, a huge

> cyberhug and all the good thoughts I can find. THANK YOU ALL!

>

>