With apologies to blonds. (NOT!)

[Guest guest]

A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn't panic however,

because she remembered what her dad had once told her. " If you ever get stuck in

a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it. "

Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She

followed the plow for about forty-five minutes.

Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. And

she explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snow storm,

to follow a plow.

The driver nodded and said, " Well, I'm done with the Walmart parking lot, do you

want to follow me over to K-Mart now? "

There was a blonde that went to the hair salon with headphones. Before the

barber started cutting her hair she told him " Make sure not to knock the

headphones off my head. " So the barber was sure not to. The next time, the

blonde said the same thing " Do not knock the headphones off my head. " The barber

again, did what he was told. The third time she went, she told the barber again

" Don't knock the headphones off my head, " this time though, the barber

accidentally knocked them off. As soon as the headphones fell off, the blonde

dropped to the floor unconscious. The barber picked up the headphones and

listened, and this is what it said " Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe

out.... "

Three women escaped from prison. One was a redhead, one a brunette, and one a

blonde. They ran for miles until they came upon an old barn where they decided

to hide in the hayloft and rest. When they climbed up, they found three large

gunny sacks and decided to climb into them for camouflage.

About an hour later the sheriff and his deputy came into the barn. The sheriff

told his deputy to go up and check out the hayloft. When he got up there the

sheriff asked him what he saw and the deputy yelled back, " Just three

gunnysacks. "

The sheriff told him to find out what was in them, so the deputy kicked the

first sack, which had the redhead in it. She went, " Bow-wow " , so the deputy told

the sheriff there was a dog in it.

Then he kicked the sack with the brunette in it. She went, " Meow " , so the deputy

told the sheriff there was a cat in it.

Then he kicked the one with the blonde in it, and there was no sound at all. So

he kicked it again, and finally the blonde said, " Potatoes " .

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had had

happened to her ears?

" I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang -- but instead of picking up the phone

I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear. "

" Oh Dear! " the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. " But. what happened to your other

ear? "

" The SOB called back. "

How do you know if a blonde has been using your computer?

There's whiteout on the screen!

There is this blonde in the middle of a parking lot rowing a boat.

This other blonde drives by and sees this blonde rowing a boat in the middle of

a parking lot So she stops her car gets out and yells " IF I COULD SWIM, I WOULD

SWIM OVER THERE AND DROWN YOU. YOU GIVE US BLONDES A BAD NAME. "

What do you call a blonde in an institute for higher learning?

A visitor.

What do blondes and cow patties have in common?

The older they get the easier they are to pick up

Why are blonde jokes so stupid?

So brunettes can understand them!