Re: a little honesty?

[Guest guest]

Hi KJ,

I am so sorry that your feeling so bad. You shouldn't feel that just because

your not ttc that you don't have anything to offer back, your friendship

means alot. I mean we all came here because of the loss of a child/children,

but I think that we have all become much more to each other or at least I

hope so(or am I just having a blonde moment? than just pg support buddies

I like to think we all have become friends, too. Although we are all here

for each other through the trials and tribulations of ttc after our ep and I

think that you have to have had a loss like an ep to really know how to help

someone through that heartbreak and get them back up on their feet to ttc

again. Besides I feel this way about ttc and getting pg(since right now I am

not but will be soon)--It is not the fastest one that wins the race it is the

one that thinks they can that does. I try to tell myself that and it

actually works. So please take care and hopefully you post some more when

your feeling better. Besides it is too quiet without you here

Love,

Sheila

[Guest guest]

KJ, I just want to reach out and offer you {{{HUGS}}}

If I lose this last tube, that's exactly how I think I'll feel. I don't

think I'd be able to sit here and be of any use to anyone, I'll be so down

on myself. Everything feels so hopeless.

I'd said months ago that I knew the only route for me would be IVF, and as

you can imagine, I feel rather pathetic at the moment. (Misery loves

company, eh?)

I hope you are able to come out of it, tho, and enjoy life once again. Are

you not TTC right now then? I hope everything starts coming together for

you.

Take care,

M

Hey everyone...

I know I keep disappearing and then showing back up...I am sorry for

that but I am having a really hard time right now. I have been

trying to read the posts and keep up with all that is going on.

What seems to happen, though, is so many are trying to get pregnant

and are getting pregnant, or in a two week wait...while I can't get

my feet back on the ground. My baby would have been due July 26th,

one week after my 35th birthday, a month after losing my

grandmother, I am feeling old, frustrated, exhausted and fear I may

be losing my mind...ok, a bit dramatic I admit... I am happy for all

those pregnant, but why can't I even get to the point where I can

really start to think about it for myself??? I keep trying to stay

away from the board because I am not where you all are at...I am

still grieving deeply, I can't handle all the ttc talk...I am just

not there...there is so much excitement here with people getting

pregnant and all I have to add is that I am still crying...whining,

fussing, and I don't want to be a bother...but I really do feel like

an ass for keep coming for support when I have nothing to offer in

return...I don't know anymore...but here I am again...KJ

[Guest guest]

KJ, please don't feel bad about coming here for

support. As far as I understood, when I joined the

group, you seemed to be providing a great deal of

support for a great deal of women. I have missed

seeing you around lately, but I understand where you

must be coming from. There is a lot going on in your

life and it is difficult. I hit rock bottom (and I

mean rock bottom) emotionally on Memorial Day because

that was around my baby's due date. It is one of the

absolute toughest things to go through.

I haven't told anyone on the site this yet (but

they'll know now) that I am in counseling to deal with

the grief and my anxiety.

I and the women are hear to support you. If you want

to cry, whine, and fuss (as you said) it will not be a

bother. You can email me directly at

spinachgirl2001@... if you would like. Come and

go as you deem appropriate for you.

You are in my prayers.

--- Metsado@... wrote:

> Hey everyone...

> I know I keep disappearing and then showing back

> up...I am sorry for

> that but I am having a really hard time right now.

> I have been

> trying to read the posts and keep up with all that

> is going on.

> What seems to happen, though, is so many are trying

> to get pregnant

> and are getting pregnant, or in a two week

> wait...while I can't get

> my feet back on the ground. My baby would have been

> due July 26th,

> one week after my 35th birthday, a month after

> losing my

> grandmother, I am feeling old, frustrated,

> exhausted and fear I may

> be losing my mind...ok, a bit dramatic I admit... I

> am happy for all

> those pregnant, but why can't I even get to the

> point where I can

> really start to think about it for myself??? I keep

> trying to stay

> away from the board because I am not where you all

> are at...I am

> still grieving deeply, I can't handle all the ttc

> talk...I am just

> not there...there is so much excitement here with

> people getting

> pregnant and all I have to add is that I am still

> crying...whining,

> fussing, and I don't want to be a bother...but I

> really do feel like

> an ass for keep coming for support when I have

> nothing to offer in

> return...I don't know anymore...but here I am

> again...KJ

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

KJ,

This board isn't only for folks ttc. The reason people put that

stuff in the subject line of the posts is so that those of us who

don't want to read them can skip them!! If I remember correctly,

this group is for women in all stages of grieving/moving forward

after an ep. It took me 18 months before I began ttc again, and I

drifted in and out of this group. When I was skipping all the ttc

and current pg posts, sometimes there wasnt a lot to read but no one

here has **EVER** made me feel less welcome because I'm not following

all the ttc and pg posts. In fact, it has been the opposite. I

really needed to work on being O.K. with a bunch of things before ttc

was an option. I didn't know if I would ever make the attempt

again. I felt that I owed to to my hfc's (that is " hypothetical

future children " ) and myself to get my s & #$t together before I

brought them into my family either be adoption or biologially. This

group helped bunches with that.

As far as not having anything to offer, that isn't true. Just

knowing that you read my posts HELPS. Sometime there is no one that

I can talk to who even remotely understands. I know my words here

are read, and even if there is no reply, I know they are understood

and I feel less alone.

I'm starting to get wordy here. KJ - read the posts you feel you can

handle. Skip the ones that will make you sad. We are here to

support you in the best way we can. Nobody is keeping score. If

there is some way I can help, it makes me feel like something good

came out of a horrible experience.

You are not crazy, you are not old and you will be ready when you are

ready. You have every right to feel frustrated and tired. I hope we

can help.

Becca

> Hey everyone...

> I know I keep disappearing and then showing back up...I am sorry

for

> that but I am having a really hard time right now. I have been

> trying to read the posts and keep up with all that is going on.

> What seems to happen, though, is so many are trying to get pregnant

> and are getting pregnant, or in a two week wait...while I can't get

> my feet back on the ground. My baby would have been due July 26th,

> one week after my 35th birthday, a month after losing my

> grandmother, I am feeling old, frustrated, exhausted and fear I

may

> be losing my mind...ok, a bit dramatic I admit... I am happy for

all

> those pregnant, but why can't I even get to the point where I can

> really start to think about it for myself??? I keep trying to stay

> away from the board because I am not where you all are at...I am

> still grieving deeply, I can't handle all the ttc talk...I am just

> not there...there is so much excitement here with people getting

> pregnant and all I have to add is that I am still crying...whining,

> fussing, and I don't want to be a bother...but I really do feel

like

> an ass for keep coming for support when I have nothing to offer in

> return...I don't know anymore...but here I am again...KJ

[Guest guest]

KJ,

Sweetie, you are welcome here any time! I know it is really hard sometimes

to read all the posts that deal with ttc when you aren't to that point

yet...most try really hard to put the subject header warnings in...and if

you don't want to read them, then you don't have to. You don't have to read

all the messages if it is difficult for you, just read those that you choose

and of course post your own. We will always be here to support you know

matter what it is you are feeling or doing at the time. I am so sorry that

it has been especially rough on you lately...I know due dates are

exceptionally difficult period. But you made it through and hopefully it

will get easier with every milestone you overcome. You just go ahead and

whine and cry and fuss to us as much is you want/need to...I promise to

listen!

-AmyR

[Guest guest]

kj,

I totally agree with shiela... we are more than a support group , we ARE

FRIENDS, FAMILY... SISTERS OF THE HEART....and we truly care about you.

Love,

lisa r

[Guest guest]

KJ,

Don't apologize for grieving--we've all been through a lot, and

we've all lost at least 1 baby. My 2nd angel would have been due

about now (8/14), and I still have a hard time with it most days.

Not a day goes by that I don't think of my other 2 children . . .

Don't forget that we're all here for you, no matter what stage

you're at now.

Take care,

DeeAnn

> Hey everyone...

> I know I keep disappearing and then showing back up...I am sorry for

> that but I am having a really hard time right now. I have been

> trying to read the posts and keep up with all that is going on.

> What seems to happen, though, is so many are trying to get pregnant

> and are getting pregnant, or in a two week wait...while I can't get

> my feet back on the ground. My baby would have been due July 26th,

> one week after my 35th birthday, a month after losing my

> grandmother, I am feeling old, frustrated, exhausted and fear I may

> be losing my mind...ok, a bit dramatic I admit... I am happy for

all

> those pregnant, but why can't I even get to the point where I can

> really start to think about it for myself??? I keep trying to stay

> away from the board because I am not where you all are at...I am

> still grieving deeply, I can't handle all the ttc talk...I am just

> not there...there is so much excitement here with people getting

> pregnant and all I have to add is that I am still crying...whining,

> fussing, and I don't want to be a bother...but I really do feel like

> an ass for keep coming for support when I have nothing to offer in

> return...I don't know anymore...but here I am again...KJ

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I understand where you are coming from. I am still grieving and

having a hard time with everything. I just found out two people I

work with are pregnant and everyone at work is so happy for them and

hearing all the pregnancy talk and work has depressed me. I am happy

for them and those here who are trying or are pregnant, but I am

almost feeling selfish and depressed, asking " why me " " Why did this

happen to me " One of the girls at work is due two days before I

would have been due and that really hard.

Shari

> Hey everyone...

> I know I keep disappearing and then showing back up...I am sorry

for

> that but I am having a really hard time right now. I have been

> trying to read the posts and keep up with all that is going on.

> What seems to happen, though, is so many are trying to get pregnant

> and are getting pregnant, or in a two week wait...while I can't get

> my feet back on the ground. My baby would have been due July 26th,

> one week after my 35th birthday, a month after losing my

> grandmother, I am feeling old, frustrated, exhausted and fear I

may

> be losing my mind...ok, a bit dramatic I admit... I am happy for

all

> those pregnant, but why can't I even get to the point where I can

> really start to think about it for myself??? I keep trying to stay

> away from the board because I am not where you all are at...I am

> still grieving deeply, I can't handle all the ttc talk...I am just

> not there...there is so much excitement here with people getting

> pregnant and all I have to add is that I am still crying...whining,

> fussing, and I don't want to be a bother...but I really do feel

like

> an ass for keep coming for support when I have nothing to offer in

> return...I don't know anymore...but here I am again...KJ