Need more prayers!

[Guest guest]

OK, so first of all... my grandmother has breast cancer and had been

going for chemo for the past few months. She's been doing horrible

with it and despite my pleas to stop it, her children (including my

dad), until now, have wanted her to have the best chance of beating

it, so their answer was chemo. In March, she was rushed to the hosp

for fluid around her

heart. They were able to help her with meds. Yesterday, she was

rushed to the hosp again, and this afternoon, they did surgery.

She's out of surgery, but we'll have to wait and see how she is

tomorrow. So, if you can, please say a prayer for her for me.

I feel terrible, because I am not there for my family. I am praying

that she's ok, but I am just not there!

My grandmother is 75 years old. She raised 2 children, has 5

grandchildren, and has been happily married for 53 years. God

blessed her in these 75 years with things right now I can only

imagine! I have 2 children, but I will never get to see them or

raise them, at least in this life! I love my grandmother and would

love for her to be around for a while, but I am not as upset as I

should be that she's in the hospital! How selfish am I!

Beyond this, I started bleeding again today, well, if you call what

I'm doing bleeding! Please, if you get grossed easily, don't read

this...

My D & C was last Wed. I bled for only 4 hours, then nothing. Sunday

afternoon, I started to stain a brownish-red. That annoyingly

continued on and off for 3 days. Today, we cleaned my house top to

bottom. Before dinner, I went into the bathroom and I am staining

again, this time, a little heavier than before, and this time, all

brown. I'm not really worried about it, but it makes me nervous

because its now 10 days later and I was hoping the body was

recovering and preparing for o'ing sometime soon! I'm going on Wed

for my thyroid test, so I'm sure I'll talk to the dr then.

Well, that's that. I guess I am doing ok, otherwise, I am trying to

live, although sometimes I just feel like the old me is dead. I used

to be a lot of fun, I used to be happy. I just hope some of me will

eventually come back.

Jen