advice to tell or not to

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 2/27/2006 1:20:16 PM Central Standard Time, no_reply writes:

but i also feel that the

person with the cancer should have the right to dicide who to tell

and who to see,and if it wasent for this risk factor i woudent even

consider going against her wishes.

I've had three types of skin cancer and 7 years of surgeries and chemo off & on. I never once told any of my family (except Mom & Dad) BEFORE the surgeries. I might in chit chat have mentioned it after the fact, just never before.

It was a toss between having family feel sorry for me or act differently towards me and a part of me didn't want to share my "medical" with anyone.

When I was diagnosed w/BC, I felt I was obliged to tell the women in my family. I was the trendsetter :-) :-( No one else has had it before me. I felt like with my numerous nieces and 5 sisters, I should let them know.

A magical thing happened. The sister that has disliked me all these years volunteered to babysit my babies (1 & 2yo) My whole family came in town from CA,

FL and TX for Christmas and more in these past few months. (that never happens) :-) The entire family pulled together in meetings and such to help out wherever they could. (I never knew this until this last two weeks)

I never asked for anything. My independence and pride has never allowed such a thing. :-) (I'm the one who helps everyone else) :-)

In a twisted kind of way, BC was a great thing to happen to my family.

[Guest guest]

>

> In a message dated 2/27/2006 1:20:16 PM Central Standard Time,

> no_reply writes:

>

> > but i also feel that the

> > person with the cancer should have the right to dicide who to

tell

> > and who to see,and if it wasent for this risk factor i woudent

even

> > consider going against her wishes.

> >

> >

>

> I've had three types of skin cancer and 7 years of surgeries and

chemo off &

> on. I never once told any of my family (except Mom & Dad) BEFORE

the

> surgeries. I might in chit chat have mentioned it after the fact,

just never before.

> It was a toss between having family feel sorry for me or act

differently

> towards me and a part of me didn't want to share my " medical " with

anyone.

> When I was diagnosed w/BC, I felt I was obliged to tell the women

in my

> family. I was the trendsetter :-) :-( No one else has had it

before me. I felt

> like with my numerous nieces and 5 sisters, I should let them know.

> A magical thing happened. The sister that has disliked me all

these years

> volunteered to babysit my babies (1 & 2yo) My whole family came

in town from

> CA,

> FL and TX for Christmas and more in these past few months. (that

never

> happens) :-) The entire family pulled together in meetings and

such to help out

> wherever they could. (I never knew this until this last two weeks)

> I never asked for anything. My independence and pride has never

allowed such

> a thing. :-) (I'm the one who helps everyone else) :-)

> In a twisted kind of way, BC was a great thing to happen to my

family.

>

That is so wonderfull to hear thats what i meant when i said some

people realy dont know how much they are loved.my sisters and i went

through a rough childhood when your parents dont care its hard for

you to bilieve that anyone does,so in some way i understand her

feelings,but i hope by my actions she will know that i love her.