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<<ramble here understood>>

Boy you said a mouthful. As most of you know my two closest daughters have

disappointed me the most. Neither of them have stepped up to the plate to help

mom. It is down right disheartening. But I continue...

Karima

Re: Rambling....

Very well said Larry, I can ramble about my hubbys cancer to others but they

just dont get it, if I ramble here I feel like I am understood. Make sense?

Its like that old saying ,

you dont know how hard someone has it , til youve walked a mile in their

shoes ( or something like that )

Well on this board we have walked in those shoes , weither it be as the

patient , the caregiver or the family member

Deb

33yrold husband Joe, was diagnosed with CC in Sept,

resection on Sept 27th 2004

open wound from infection until Jan 2005

Ileostomy reversal Dec 7th 2004

Chemo regiment begun Jan 2005

5fu/levorican/Oxaplatin/ Avastin to be added at later date

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Very well said Larry, I can ramble about my hubbys cancer to others but they

just dont get it, if I ramble here I feel like I am understood. Make sense?

Its like that old saying ,

you dont know how hard someone has it , til youve walked a mile in their

shoes ( or something like that )

Well on this board we have walked in those shoes , weither it be as the

patient , the caregiver or the family member

Deb

33yrold husband Joe, was diagnosed with CC in Sept,

resection on Sept 27th 2004

open wound from infection until Jan 2005

Ileostomy reversal Dec 7th 2004

Chemo regiment begun Jan 2005

5fu/levorican/Oxaplatin/ Avastin to be added at later date

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Hi Larry...

Thanks so much for writing this...I have been noticing that only one of my 3

adult son's calls and asks about Glenn (not his bio. father - we've only

been together 5 yrs.) My 98 yr. old Mom calls, but mostly concerned about me,

altho she does ask about Glenn. Hardly ever does anyone stop over anymore.

And I've been feeling very alone lately, esp. when Glenn's been sleeping 18-20

hrs. a day. But this is getting better with time and Ritalin rx. The

affects from the chemo (5th treatment) this time has been a little stronger,

but

he's been eating and awake quite a bit. The Home Nurse just came and removed

the IV Pump, so he's a " free " man again...LOL

I work 4 days a week at a small law firm and I have my own home-based

business, which has kept me sane the last year. I always have something to do,

but

it's almost like living alone sometimes. Do I pick up the phone and call

someone... no!! Don't ask me why. I just get the feeling people really don't

want to hear about it.

But, I wanted to THANK each and every one of you for all your posts,

information, support, and laughs. Hugs to Janet...I think she's caught up to

Glenn

now, since he's missed 2 treatments b/c of low platelets. Friday platelets

were up, but neurophils are very low...960 and they had to get dr. approval to

treat below 1000. What the heck are neurophils...our reg. nurse wasn't

there on Friday. Thank you for being here and thanks for listening, Larry!!

Lots of hugs and prayers, Donelle

Caregiver to Glenn

Colon resection 6/03, open wound for 2 months, chemo for 8 months

Mets to Liver found 4/04, inoperable; one tumor too close to artery and vein

Chemo infiltration to chest 8/04 with severe side effects including severe

pain and muscle damage (permanent??), unable to eat, colon shut down,

hospitalization w/morphine 8 days

Fluid build-up and draining on a regular weekly basis

11/09/04 on 5FU/Leu/Oxaliplatin/Avastin " cocktails " 46 hr. infusions

TRYING TO KICK BUTT with this darn disease!!!

In a message dated 2/6/2005 12:14:22 PM Eastern Standard Time,

lwg_art@... writes:

Never have I felt like anyone has ever rambled in this group. How often can

you express yourself to anyone and they really understand and know what you

are going through.

The phone doesn't ring, friends and family don't come over as often and even

if you did start talking about it to someone you know at times they just

don't want to hear about it.

So......I think you all for the patience and the understanding that you all

have shown and that if we didn't have each other this journey would be a lot

harder to deal with.....

Ramble on people...

Vent...

Take out your frustrations and your pain...

I don't mind listening.....

Larry

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In a message dated 2/6/2005 12:25:46 PM Eastern Standard Time,

jayishome@... writes:

Larry, you are so right... The phone really does not ring like it used to,

and family does not come over as much... and friends disappeared. Kinda like

moving day! So, I enjoin your comments also, and thank everyone in this

group for all the kind words and support!

----- Original Message -----

You sure hit the nail on the head, Jay!!! No one's ever around on Moving

day!!!

Thanks for making me laugh...I needed that!

Lots of hugs and prayers, Donelle

Caregiver to Glenn

Colon resection 6/03, open wound for 2 months, chemo for 8 months

Mets to Liver found 4/04, inoperable; one tumor too close to artery and vein

Chemo infiltration to chest 8/04 with severe side effects including severe

pain and muscle damage (permanent??), unable to eat, colon shut down,

hospitalization w/morphine 8 days

Fluid build-up and draining on a regular weekly basis

11/09/04 on 5FU/Leu/Oxaliplatin/Avastin " cocktails " 46 hr. infusions

TRYING TO KICK BUTT with this darn disease!!!

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In a message dated 2/6/2005 3:42:14 PM Eastern Standard Time,

debbied30@... writes:

Very well said Larry, I can ramble about my hubbys cancer to others but

they

just dont get it, if I ramble here I feel like I am understood. Make sense?

Its like that old saying ,

you dont know how hard someone has it , til youve walked a mile in their

shoes ( or something like that )

Well on this board we have walked in those shoes , weither it be as the

patient , the caregiver or the family member

Deb

You know, Deb, that is so very true!!! I always knew Cancer was a dreaded

disease...and I've known people who were ill with it, going through chemo,

even dying. But until you walk in those shoes, you just DON'T know!!! One

does

feel understood here!! Thanks for being here, Deb!!

How is Joe doing today?? And you??

Lots of hugs and prayers, Donelle

Caregiver to Glenn

Colon resection 6/03, open wound for 2 months, chemo for 8 months

Mets to Liver found 4/04, inoperable; one tumor too close to artery and vein

Chemo infiltration to chest 8/04 with severe side effects including severe

pain and muscle damage (permanent??), unable to eat, colon shut down,

hospitalization w/morphine 8 days

Fluid build-up and draining on a regular weekly basis

11/09/04 on 5FU/Leu/Oxaliplatin/Avastin " cocktails " 46 hr. infusions

TRYING TO KICK BUTT with this darn disease!!!

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Ron...the rambling man!! One of my favorites!! ROFLMBO...struck me funny!

I'm sorry you have felt this as well. I just never realized how prevalent

it was. Do you know that Glenn's two young adult children, who live 3.5 hrs.

away have not been up in 2 yrs....the whole time he's been going through

this!!! I think this is unforgivable...and probably plays a huge part in

Glenn's

depression; altho, I've heard him tell them not to come...don't get that

either!!! Martyr?? They do call quite often, but not necessarily to ask how

he's doing, rather they need something or have a question on how to do or

handle something. Thanks for being here, Ron...and adding your sense of

humor.

We all need that!!

Lots of hugs and prayers, Donelle

Caregiver to Glenn

Colon resection 6/03, open wound for 2 months, chemo for 8 months

Mets to Liver found 4/04, inoperable; one tumor too close to artery and vein

Chemo infiltration to chest 8/04 with severe side effects including severe

pain and muscle damage (permanent??), unable to eat, colon shut down,

hospitalization w/morphine 8 days

Fluid build-up and draining on a regular weekly basis

11/09/04 on 5FU/Leu/Oxaliplatin/Avastin " cocktails " 46 hr. infusions

TRYING TO KICK BUTT with this darn disease!!!

In a message dated 2/6/2005 3:48:28 PM Eastern Standard Time,

rlmiller1@... writes:

Larry,

I couldn't agree more. I live in the town where I grew up in, so I

have a lot of long time friends near by. But once it was known I had

cancer, I found out who my true friends and family really were. Even

after a year, I still have family members that have never even

called once to find out how things were going. On the other hand,

there were others that I had not seen for a long time that now call

often as well as visiting me while I was in the hospital from

surgery. My guess is that some people just don't know how to deal

with things like this. I too thank everyone in this group for the

knowledge and support it has provided me.

How does that song go, " Lord I was born a Rambling man " (Allman

Brothers).

Ron

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In a message dated 2/6/2005 4:00:28 PM Eastern Standard Time,

jehret@... writes:

I am experiencing that as well. I have one sister, actually two, but one

is pretty much my best friend right now. And one cousin who has been

really attentive, calling and came to visit when they were down here

visiting the daughter. One cousin who as least asks me how I am when she

wants me to check out the urban legend stuff for her - why she doesn't

do it herself I don't know, but easy enough for me to do it. Have

another sister who was upset with me because I didn't tell her about my

cancer right away. When I apologized she sent me her usual " to a good

friend " very large print post card message -- with a will write more

later. They live in their own little world. They can't help themselves.

LOL Jolene

Geez....I'm just totally shocked that this is such a " syndrome " ...Thank God

we have each other!!! Take care Jolene...feeling any better than this

morning??

Lots of hugs and prayers, Donelle

Caregiver to Glenn

Colon resection 6/03, open wound for 2 months, chemo for 8 months

Mets to Liver found 4/04, inoperable; one tumor too close to artery and vein

Chemo infiltration to chest 8/04 with severe side effects including severe

pain and muscle damage (permanent??), unable to eat, colon shut down,

hospitalization w/morphine 8 days

Fluid build-up and draining on a regular weekly basis

11/09/04 on 5FU/Leu/Oxaliplatin/Avastin " cocktails " 46 hr. infusions

TRYING TO KICK BUTT with this darn disease!!!

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Hi Donelle ,

Joe is feeling pretty good actually , he got out of the house WITHOUT us lol

for the first time in forever yesterday , he went and helped his younger

brother pick out a new (used) truck,

The truck was 4,000 but all he wanted to spend was 3500 because he was going

to give US 500 bucks! unbeknown to us !

Finally Ben ( Joe's lil brother) told Joe what his dilema was , almost in

tears.

Joe told him that was WAYYYY to much money just to be given us , and that he

needed a safe vehicle for his wife and kids.

We have always helped out Ben , and never once expected him to help us out ,

cause they honestly just cant afford it,

So Joe made him by the truck lol.

Ben then wanted to see our doc bills , which I thought was sort of odd , but

he then grabbed one and said that he was going to pay it , dont you know I

cried.

Its soooooooo hard for Joe to accept help, he has alwaaaays been the one to

help others.

If his family every needed money he would always just give it to them , not

loan it.

Because he didnt want any hard feelings over holidays about people owing

each other money etc.

Joe has been approved for Social Security Disability but it wont start til

March/April

Enough of the woes lol

How are you doing ? Glenn? the grandbaby?

Take care

and thwap Glenn's kids for me

Deb

33yrold husband Joe, was diagnosed with CC in Sept,

resection on Sept 27th 2004

found mets to the abdominal wall lining 3 lymph nodes involved

open wound from infection until Jan 2005

Ileostomy reversal Dec 7th 2004

Chemo regiment begun Jan 2005

5fu/levorican/Oxaplatin/ Avastin to be added at later date

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That is just way too sweet of Joe's lil brother. Tell Ben I'm sending him a

big hug for being such a good brother and a great human being!

Yahoo on the Soc. Sec. coming through!!! Is this permanent?? Is there no

chance he can go back to work? I can never remember where everyone is in

their treatment, disease, etc. Sorry.

Lots of hugs and prayers, Donelle

Caregiver to Glenn

Colon resection 6/03, open wound for 2 months, chemo for 8 months

Mets to Liver found 4/04, inoperable; one tumor too close to artery and vein

Chemo infiltration to chest 8/04 with severe side effects including severe

pain and muscle damage (permanent??), unable to eat, colon shut down,

hospitalization w/morphine 8 days

Fluid build-up and draining on a regular weekly basis

11/09/04 on 5FU/Leu/Oxaliplatin/Avastin " cocktails " 46 hr. infusions

TRYING TO KICK BUTT with this darn disease!!!

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Deb...I forgot to tell you that I'd so dearly loooooooooove to thwap Glenn's

kids!!!

Lots of hugs and prayers, Donelle

Caregiver to Glenn

Colon resection 6/03, open wound for 2 months, chemo for 8 months

Mets to Liver found 4/04, inoperable; one tumor too close to artery and vein

Chemo infiltration to chest 8/04 with severe side effects including severe

pain and muscle damage (permanent??), unable to eat, colon shut down,

hospitalization w/morphine 8 days

Fluid build-up and draining on a regular weekly basis

11/09/04 on 5FU/Leu/Oxaliplatin/Avastin " cocktails " 46 hr. infusions

TRYING TO KICK BUTT with this darn disease!!!

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STOIC...what a great word!!! Yep, that's probably a lot of us...and yet I

cry at the least little thing on TV...like the beginning ceremonies of the

Super Bowl!!! I was overwhelmed with those old guys marching on that field

like

they were still in the military and still serving their country...it was

awesome!!

And, Larry...you're allowed to ramble. Remember?? Glenn seems to do well

the first 2 days and then gets more ill for a few days, but it's really a

little different each time. Surely can't plan anything!!!!

Lots of hugs and prayers, Donelle

Caregiver to Glenn

In a message dated 2/6/2005 6:54:59 PM Eastern Standard Time,

lwg_art@... writes:

Donelle,

As you know and everybody else there are those good days and those bad ones.

I find myself a lot more stoic trying to deal with stuff than ever before.

Can't get upset, can't get drunk, and hard to think too much. Just have to try

and get into a routine that gets us by.

Janet a little better. She sleeps a lot and we still battle the dehydration.

Still has diarrhea and nausea Hopefully she'll be somewhat okay before we

start all over again Tuesday.Janet being ill longer after treatments make it

seems like the chemotherapy doesn't have a break between cycles.....ah sorry,

rambling again.........

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What a great brother! Good for Ben.

I can't complain I have 7 brothers and sisters and they have all been super

supportive. The only relative that is distant is Phil's brother but his

family has never been what you'd call close since his Mom died of Pancreatic

Cancer when Phil was 13 and was 8.

Phil's mother's sister calls often (Phil is the 3rd generation with cancer,

his Grandma Mom and now him), as does Phil's Dad but has barely

acknowledged Phil is sick. Arrrrgh!

I guess in some way I can understand but it aggravates me.

But you can't change people can you?

Well there's my Rambling LOL

Narice

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In a message dated 2/6/2005 7:50:12 PM Eastern Standard Time,

msheila7@... writes:

" trying to make a living and doing the best I can...and when it's time to

leave I hope you'll understand....that I was born a ramblin man " .

love that song!

Go Sheila!!! We must be the only ones not watching Super Bowl...LOL I

watch the opening ceremonies (cried) and half time....and commercials if I can

catch them.

Lots of hugs and prayers, Donelle

Caregiver to Glenn

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In a message dated 2/6/2005 8:00:43 PM Eastern Standard Time,

jasonsmom285@... writes:

Donelle, I'm here reading emails and messing around, the game is on right

behind me, husband asleep on the couch. I'm just enjoying listening to you guys

singing and keeping your spirits up and rambling on, lol. ~~Dianna

Hi Dianna!!! Hope you are having a great day!!! If not, start " rambling "

with us.

LOL

Lots of hugs and prayers, Donelle

Caregiver to Glenn

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In a message dated 2/6/2005 8:16:56 PM Eastern Standard Time,

jasonsmom285@... writes:

Donelle, I'm here reading emails and messing around, the game is on right

behind me, husband asleep on the couch. I'm just enjoying listening to you

guys

singing and keeping your spirits up and rambling on, lol. ~~Dianna

Isn't it funny how they can " watch " the game and sleep at the same time!!!

Lots of hugs and prayers, Donelle

Caregiver to Glenn

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Yes Well can't forget my oldest daughter as well who is right there

when I need her. My rock!!!

I agree if not for you all would be really wandering in the dark.

Yes I am feeling better, got out of the house for a bit picked up some

stuff we needed. I really needed to get out of the store, everyone still

shopping for super bowl munchies, though was emptying out about time I

left.... I could have waited until they were all at home and shopped in

leisure. LOL

Jolene

Grandmommyandme@... wrote:

>

>

> In a message dated 2/6/2005 4:00:28 PM Eastern Standard Time,

> jehret@... writes:

>

> I am experiencing that as well. I have one sister, actually two, but one

> is pretty much my best friend right now. And one cousin who has been

> really attentive, calling and came to visit when they were down here

> visiting the daughter. One cousin who as least asks me how I am when she

> wants me to check out the urban legend stuff for her - why she doesn't

> do it herself I don't know, but easy enough for me to do it. Have

> another sister who was upset with me because I didn't tell her about my

> cancer right away. When I apologized she sent me her usual " to a good

> friend " very large print post card message -- with a will write more

> later. They live in their own little world. They can't help themselves.

> LOL Jolene

>

>

>

> Geez....I'm just totally shocked that this is such a

> " syndrome " ...Thank God

> we have each other!!! Take care Jolene...feeling any better than this

> morning??

>

> Lots of hugs and prayers, Donelle

> Caregiver to Glenn

>

>

> Colon resection 6/03, open wound for 2 months, chemo for 8 months

> Mets to Liver found 4/04, inoperable; one tumor too close to artery

> and vein

> Chemo infiltration to chest 8/04 with severe side effects including

> severe

> pain and muscle damage (permanent??), unable to eat, colon shut down,

> hospitalization w/morphine 8 days

> Fluid build-up and draining on a regular weekly basis

> 11/09/04 on 5FU/Leu/Oxaliplatin/Avastin " cocktails " 46 hr. infusions

> TRYING TO KICK BUTT with this darn disease!!!

>

>

>

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Ok... this test is actually BLONDE proof! I promise! Be really honest...

write down your answers before you scroll to the next question. Test takes

about 5 minutes. Nothing to sell, nothing in it for me. Its all about you! I

cannot post it here, but you can go to my website:

http://jaydebaca.home.comcast.net/index.html

Look for the link: TIBETIAN PERSONALITY TEST

GO FOR IT! Also there is a link about what my daily cancer journal looks like.

GOOD NIGHT Y'ALL!

JAY

Re: Re: Rambling....

In a message dated 2/6/2005 8:16:56 PM Eastern Standard Time,

jasonsmom285@... writes:

Donelle, I'm here reading emails and messing around, the game is on right

behind me, husband asleep on the couch. I'm just enjoying listening to you

guys

singing and keeping your spirits up and rambling on, lol. ~~Dianna

Isn't it funny how they can " watch " the game and sleep at the same time!!!

Lots of hugs and prayers, Donelle

Caregiver to Glenn

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I loved the test Jay and found the priorities the most interesting as my first

is family which is most important.

and then, Dog/love and the colors right on the mark.

Karima

Re: Re: Rambling....

In a message dated 2/6/2005 8:16:56 PM Eastern Standard Time,

jasonsmom285@... writes:

Donelle, I'm here reading emails and messing around, the game is on right

behind me, husband asleep on the couch. I'm just enjoying listening to you

guys

singing and keeping your spirits up and rambling on, lol. ~~Dianna

Isn't it funny how they can " watch " the game and sleep at the same time!!!

Lots of hugs and prayers, Donelle

Caregiver to Glenn

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In a message dated 2/7/2005 1:27:06 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

jayishome@... writes:

I GOT THE CLEANEST BUTT IN TOWN! Dang that felt good! Love you guys! For

those of you just joining this group, So sorry! But this is the best most

diverse family on the net! JAY

" Saying " that felt good?? Or having the cleanest butt in town felt good??

LOL

Thinking about you Jay....and adding prayers shortly as you show the doc

your clean butt!!!

Lots of hugs and prayers, Donelle

Caregiver to Glenn

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You know, sometimes circumstances introduce us to new friends who remain friends

forever, no matter what changes. That's what's happened to me with people here

(even though I don't post often) and it's for sure happened in my support group.

If some of you have never looked for or found a support group, I'll tell you

it's one of the best things I did for myself after my diagnosis. Ours is a

mixed group, not strictly colon cancer, but some are colon, a very young woman

with lymphoma, several with breast cancer, brain cancer, you name it. Support

groups are for survivors as well as caregivers, and it really does make a

difference. Consider finding one convenient for you to attend and then just go.

You might just be surprised at how good it can be.

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Well guys... Went to the hospital today... nervous as heck. And at the last

minute, Dr. Mozia had to rush off to the OR for an emergency. Now, I have to

stay on liquids for another 12 hours... First thing in the morning... back to

square one! I will let you in on the results... Clear liquids... I wonder if

that means white wine??? Thanks for all of the TOASTS! Tonight I have my

support group at St. hospital... JAY

Re: Rambling....

You know, sometimes circumstances introduce us to new friends who remain

friends forever, no matter what changes. That's what's happened to me with

people here (even though I don't post often) and it's for sure happened in my

support group.

If some of you have never looked for or found a support group, I'll tell you

it's one of the best things I did for myself after my diagnosis. Ours is a

mixed group, not strictly colon cancer, but some are colon, a very young woman

with lymphoma, several with breast cancer, brain cancer, you name it. Support

groups are for survivors as well as caregivers, and it really does make a

difference. Consider finding one convenient for you to attend and then just go.

You might just be surprised at how good it can be.

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