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Fwd: HEART INSTALLATION

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A few of us gals were passing this one around, and thought you all might get

a lift from it. Enjoy!

->>Customer:

>>I'm not very technical, but I think I am ready to install now. What do I

do

>>first?

>>

>>CS Rep:

>>The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma'am?

>>

>>Customer:

>>Yes I have, but there are several programs running right now.

>>Is it okay to install while they are running?

>>

>>CS Rep:

>>What programs are running ma'am?

>>

>>Customer:

>>Let me see....I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE,

>>GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.

>>

>>CS Rep:

>>No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE from

>>your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent

>>memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE

>>will eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module

>>of its own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to

>>completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM.

>>Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed.

>>Can you turn those off ma'am?

>>

>>Customer:

>>I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

>>

>>CS Rep:

>>My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE.

>>Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and

>>RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.

>>

>>Customer:

>>Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that

>>normal?

>>

>>CS Rep:

>>Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will

>>reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?

>>

>>Customer:

>>Yes I do. Is it completely installed?

>>

>>CS Rep:

>>Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You

>>need to begin connecting to other HEART's in order to get the upgrades.

>>

>>Customer:

>>Oops...I have an error message already. What should I do?

>>

>>CS Rep:

>>What does the message say?

>>

>>Customer:

>>It says " ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL

>>COMPONENTS " . What does that mean?

>>

>>CS Rep:

>>Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that the

>>LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not

>>yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated

>>programming things, but In non-technical terms it means you

>>have to " LOVE " your own machine before it can " LOVE " others.

>>

>>Customer:

>>So what should I do?

>>

>>CS Rep:

>>Can you find the directory called " SELF-ACCEPTANCE " ?

>>

>>Customer:

>>Yes, I have it.

>>

>>CS Rep:

>>Excellent, you are getting good at this.

>>

>>Customer:

>>Thank you.

>>

>>CS Rep:

>>You're welcome. Click on the following files and then

>>copy them to the " MYHEART " directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC,

>>SELFESTEEM.TXT, REALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC.

>>The system will overwrite any conflicting files and

>>begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need

>>to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE from all directories, and

>>then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it

>>is completely gone and never comes back.

>

>>

>>Customer:

>>Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with really neat

>>files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now

>>and it shows that WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and

>>CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over

>>My HEART!

>>

>>CS Rep:

>>Then LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to

>>handle It from here. One more thing before I go...

>>

>>Customer:

>>Yes?

>>

>>CS Rep:

>>LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules

>>to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other

>>people and they will return some really neat modules back to

>>you.

>>

>>Customer:

>>I will. Thank you for your help.

>>

>>

>>

>>Deirdre Mark

>>Version Anglaise enr.

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