venting (sort of, I guess)

[Guest guest]

Hi, all... Well, I'm so torn on what to do about planning the c-section or trying for the VBAC. I don't really expect anyone here to tell me what to do, I just need to get it all out. First of all, I can't get to discuss it with me. After he refused to speak to me before bed one night I figured I'd leave that time alone since he does get home late. I figured that it just meant he was tired and it wasn't a good time to discuss something so serious. It's hard for us to talk about it when is around (she's very demanding and we are having trouble teaching her not to interrupt when we are talking... she just screams over us to get our attention, and time-outs aren't working... but that's another story). So I try when she's either in her room playing or at school. That doesn't even work. I don't understand why he won't talk to me about this. I know he wants to have a say, so he should be willing. It's actually getting quite depressing bc it seems like something that is so important to me and should be important to him he just doesn't care about... but I know otherwise so I can't figure it out. Anyway... I've done some researching on the 'net. Everything I find is still completely biased but I'm trying to pull just the facts from several different resources to see if I can compare. It seems about equal, assuming that all of the info is the most recent. I tried calling my dr office yesterday to see if they could tell me where to find current accurate info on it, but they never called back. I'm really close to calling and requesting an appt devoted to discussing this if he expects me to know by the 19th. I have many, many questions I want answered... Based on just what I know right now, I want both... I still want to try a vaginal delivery bc it will mean I'll be more alert after the delivery, I'll actually get to hold her (didn't get to with --she was already 15 hours old by the time I got to have her with me), I won't have to stay in the hospital as long, I'll recover from it more quickly, and I won't necessarily be forced into c-section next time. I want the c-section bc: I can plan it (so will be able to be there). Plain and simple. is only allowed to miss a maximum of 13 hours of work, or a day and a half. That's if he is doing excellent... if he's even a little off it may be less. My mom could go ahead and plan when to get here. I don't have to worry about having to leave to go bring from school to our neighbors, or worse... not being able to come back. I could actually beg my dr to schedule it on a day when can be there. Actually the weekend after my due date, he'll have a 4 day weekend. I could try to schedule it for the 9th and be home before he ever has to go back to work. I really don't want to schedule it for the week before bc I'm already unsure about my due date being accurate, considering it's figured on me ovulating on the 14th, but I didn't until the 19th. I'm worried that the 1st (ish) would be too soon and her lungs may not be developed enough. I wish I could just induce. Then I'd be able to schedule that for the 9th, be home before goes back to work on the 13th, and I wouldn't have to worry about the other negatives to a c-section. But, that's not an option. I'm torn between choosing the shorter healing time or whether to be guaranteed to have there. I'm so confused and I can't even get him to discuss it with me!!! This is such a hard decision to make, especially since it seems he wants me to make it on my own... and it's to the point where when I try to weigh the benefits/drawbacks I start crying bc I don't want to decide by myself. OK... I guess that's enough of my whining. I know that no one here can make the decision for me, but I had just had to get this all out.Amywife to ~2/14/97~mommy to ~6/18/97~ and one on the way ~EDD 11/8/01~Get more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer download : http://explorer.msn.com

[Guest guest]

AmyA, I wish there was something I could say to help you out...I feel bad, I know it is a very hard descision for you to make. I think you should make an apt and talk to the dr and ask all your questions. It is a big deal. I hope you are able to come up with a decision and have some peace of mind soon. Either way you decide to go, it will be ok. Take care.