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Does not compute............Does anyone

know?.........................................Why does self-

sufficiency / rational thinking, conflict with 'faith'. Did AA mess-

up anyone else's 'belief' system? If so, how did you come to terms

with that. What do you tell the kids? All the stuff we were

trying to teach you, is a lie, a joke, totally unknown. My kids

need comfort right now---if I throw shadows on their belief system,

that will just cause more pain. Their father was very much

into 'God' when he died....for them to have doubts and question

things would mean being disloyal. It's all so sad. At night, we

would all say 'slept with angels'....I can no longer say that. We

also have lots of bibles around here--like their dad, they quote from

it. I just want to scream. So far, I don't believe it anymore. My

head tells me it's a trick...just a more conflicting way to keep

people in line. Inspired by the holy spirit ---sorta like the big

book. Just a little (lot) more complicated. Also think that

something in my mind changed while being involved with AA---had to do

with lots of things (meditating, prayer, stress, powerlessness, and

probable lots more.) Has anyone done any studying on this. About

what happens in the mind. And

what type of books can one find. Finding books on AA, drugs, alcohol

that didn't involve 12-steps was very tricky----so I'm quite sure

this is even more tricky......I know it is, already have started to

look and ask around, what a mess. Any thoughts or ideas

would love to hear. netty

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Hi, Netty

I can offer some of the things that I've learned since I abandoned

the 12-step program, and some ideas that I've carried for a long

time.

> Does not compute............Does anyone

> know?.........................................Why does self-

> sufficiency / rational thinking, conflict with 'faith'. Did AA mess-

> up anyone else's 'belief' system? If so, how did you come to

terms

> with that.

First, I do not believe that self-sufficiency and rational thinking is

in conflict with " faith. " Regardless of one's religious beliefs, we

all act on a degree of faith. This is nothing more than making

assumptions about the outcome of future events based on past

experience and probability. From the time you get up in the

morning, you put your feet on the floor - you have " faith " that the

floor has not vanished during the night, in other words faith on

it's most basic level is just assuming the obvious. That is why I

become rabid and foam at the mouth every time I hear some

idiot recite that stupid " never assume... makes an ass out of u &

me. " Everyone makes thousands of assumptions every day if

you make no assumptions you would be unable to function. On

this level " faith " is very rational, and need for proof of everything,

every step of the way is absurd, and practically impossible.

There is a conflict with rational thought and the type of faith that is

not based on past experience and praobability. Dogmatic,

absolutist thinking is not rational. For example; " some guy that

died about 2000 years ago is going to come back to life and

save us " this is an example of " delusional thinking. "

In regards to AA damaging my belief system, I don't think it did

any serious damage, I spent ten years in and out of that

program, but most of it I took with a grain of salt. I had some

sponsers, but never for a long time, and never had one that I was

really impressed with. I will say that it was refreshing to abandon

that program, it felt like a huge opressive weight had been lifted

off of me.

What do you tell the kids? All the stuff we were

> trying to teach you, is a lie, a joke, totally unknown. My kids

> need comfort right now---if I throw shadows on their belief

system,

> that will just cause more pain. Their father was very much

> into 'God' when he died....for them to have doubts and question

> things would mean being disloyal. It's all so sad. At night, we

> would all say 'slept with angels'....I can no longer say that. We

> also have lots of bibles around here--like their dad, they quote

from

> it. I just want to scream. So far, I don't believe it anymore. My

> head tells me it's a trick...just a more conflicting way to keep

> people in line. Inspired by the holy spirit ---sorta like the big

> book. Just a little (lot) more complicated. Also think that

> something in my mind changed while being involved with

AA---had to do

> with lots of things (meditating, prayer, stress, powerlessness,

and

> probable lots more.)

With children, I think it is very important to allow them to persue

thier own spiritual path. They may ask questions like; " why did

you stop going to those meetings? " in which case just an

honest, simple answer would do. I reccomend not making a big

deal about it and make it clear that they are free to make these

decisions for themselves.

Has anyone done any studying on this. About

> what happens in the mind. And

> what type of books can one find. Finding books on AA, drugs,

alcohol

> that didn't involve 12-steps was very tricky----so I'm quite sure

> this is even more tricky......I know it is, already have started to

> look and ask around, what a mess. Any thoughts or

ideas

> would love to hear. netty

A classic is " Why I Am Not A Christian " by Bertrand Russel.

Straight forward, easy to read, and enjoyable. " Letters From The

Earth " by Mark Twain. Funny and entertaining - more satire than

philosophy.

For alternative recovery, a good place to start would be " Many

Paths - One Journey " by Charlotte Casl. " The Small Book " by

Jack Trimpey contains some good insight, I personaly don't

agree with 48.23% of what he has to say.

Most of all, go forth with a new freedom, you are no longer

restricted to " approved literature " read ANYTHING you want to.

Devin

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At 04:52 AM 6/22/01 -0000, caenemy@... wrote:

>people in line. Inspired by the holy spirit ---sorta like the big

>book. Just a little (lot) more complicated. Also think that

>something in my mind changed while being involved with AA---had to do

>with lots of things (meditating, prayer, stress, powerlessness, and

>probable lots more.) Has anyone done any studying on this. About

>what happens in the mind. And

>what type of books can one find. Finding books on AA, drugs, alcohol

>that didn't involve 12-steps was very tricky----so I'm quite sure

>this is even more tricky......I know it is, already have started to

>look and ask around, what a mess. Any thoughts or ideas

>would love to hear. netty

About five to ten years ago I read every library book I could find on

cults. That helped a lot in explaining what happened to me. In a later

message you mentioned the Kasl book, it has a good bibliography.

I recall one book named " Leaving the Fold " , it was about getting out

of the usual Christian church/group but seemed to apply well to AA also.

There are actually three books with the title " Leaving the Fold " on

bookfinder.com - the one I read was written by Winell.

----------

http://listen.to/benbradley

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>

> >people in line. Inspired by the holy spirit ---sorta like the

big

> >book. Just a little (lot) more complicated. Also think that

> >something in my mind changed while being involved with AA---had to

do

> >with lots of things (meditating, prayer, stress, powerlessness,

and

> >probable lots more.) Has anyone done any studying on this. About

> >what happens in the mind. And

> >what type of books can one find. Finding books on AA, drugs,

alcohol

> >that didn't involve 12-steps was very tricky----so I'm quite sure

> >this is even more tricky......I know it is, already have started

to

> >look and ask around, what a mess. Any thoughts or ideas

> >would love to hear.

netty

>

> About five to ten years ago I read every library book I could

find on

> cults. That helped a lot in explaining what happened to me. In a

later

> message you mentioned the Kasl book, it has a good bibliography.

> I recall one book named " Leaving the Fold " , it was about getting

out

> of the usual Christian church/group but seemed to apply well to AA

also.

> There are actually three books with the title " Leaving the Fold " on

> bookfinder.com - the one I read was written by Winell.

>

> ----------

>

http://listen.to/benbradley

Thanks for the info, now I have a couple of new books to check on.

And I've never heard of either. Have read some on cults. Most of

them are from church folk.....you know the rest of the story. Really

liked Hassan--Combatting Cult Mind Control. Oh...another

really good one was by Mc--What to Do When Your Guru

Sues You-LIFE102. And he throws in some humor--it was great. But,

the part about what happens to the workings of the mind....no one has

any answers. Some of those famous people, ,and that Jung

Doung guy,(can't remember his name) a couple others too. They take

it just so far , then go off on some tangent, and don't follow

through with what they started.....so fustrating. Unless, of course

I missed something, cause it was some of the most difficult reading

and comprehending I've ever challenged---besides all the mixed

messages in the bible--which no-one could ever explain either.

Anyway, have two new books to read, that should keep me busy for

awhile. Thanks again for your suggestion. netty

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