hurt, confused, looking for answers

[Guest guest]

Hello, My name is Janette. I have posted only one other time. I belonged to the "other" group. Don't want to get in trouble for mentioning names. I had questioned them as one of the ladies had said that having a link under a name was not legal. I do stitchery and was thinking about doing the same thing but can't get a straight answer and was put on moderate for asking several times.. Now they have deleted me. My question is: first is it legal, where can I find out for sure if none of you know, and second was why is/was it legal to have an organization under there selling things along with other info, when its not ok for a real person to do it. Ok another and very important question. Is is mandatory that I give out personal information in this group also? They said I was suspicious because I would not give out more than my full name, state, and town. I lost my fiance tragically many years ago and never found another love like him. So I became a nanny

and had a ready made family/families. I live alone and in this day and age don't feel comfortable sharing more than that. I even said if they came to my state maybe we could meet and I would feel more comfortable as they do races. If this is required in here too I will leave. One more thing and then I have to get away from this computer as my head is pounding and b/p is up to 180/120. I need to lay down for a bit. This was also sent to me in a letter from the owner?/moderator? of the group and I don't understand what she means. Can anyone help explain this.There is one founder and how many are allowed to be moderators? Why can't a person get into a group and what does she mean about an unknown person? Boy this is all confusing. I am thinking maybe I should just sell the computer and find a group at the hospital. The founder of the group can't even get into the group to post anymore and the

other moderator is an unknown person who has never even posted. I am sorry this is so long. Just looking for some answers and a few friends. I will not bother anyone. Just mostly read and answer when I have something worthwhile to add. I don't know if its because of my headache but this print below the larger print I copied and pasted looks way smaller. Sincerely, Janette

Yahoo! Autos. Looking for a sweet ride? Get pricing, reviews, more on new and used cars.

[Guest guest]

Hi Janette,

You have a very good question. I don't know if its legal or not. I know you cannot SELL on groups. In other words we have people that join and then are trying to sell miracle cures, sex things etc. ALL new members are moderated as you know. Of course these sites never make it through!! But never heard anything about the links. I have links under my name and don't want to get in hot water either. If you find out please let us know as I know a few other ladies have links under their name. What kind of stitchery do you do? Do you mean crewl, counted cross stitch or like stitching for pillow cases etc?

NEVER ever would I make it mandatory for anyone to share their personal info. That is NOT a good rule to have no matter what kind of group it is. I personally would be VERY suspicious of any group etc. that required it. Actually when/if on occasion someone does post it for some reason I email them back telling them it is NOT a good idea as anyone can join a group and then come in and get their address or phone number or what ever they posted. I usually end up deleting their post after I tell them this. IF two people become friends and mutually agree that they want to share PRIVATELY that is their business. I did share my info with the ladies that used to be here and left for the "other" group as you call it, but we were meeting and doing a race in Iowa. But you can never be too careful. Also, even if its a closed group, someone can join and not be who they claim to be. We have had this happen a few times here and they were smoked out and banned. So you DO take chances by sharing anything too private.

Boy to your question about what the owner/moderator sent you, you will have to ask them. I can tell you about this group. It was founded by a man, a breast cancer surgeon in training, named Calvin. I joined in 1998 after we got the computer and he was looking for someone to be cofounder. Some of us emailed him and I got picked. I have been cofounder ever since. As for moderators you can have as many as you want, I guess. I did have one at one time and it was definitely the WRONG choice and she abused her priviledge and has since left. I did replace her with a long time friend I met when I first got the computer. She does not post as she is not a survivor of breast cancer and only "watches" things for me if I have to be away from the computer for a day, if we would go some where. I check my email about once an hour as I get posts sent to me via email as sometimes Yahoo won't let us into our groups. I am usually up early and go to bed early, around 9pm. But other wise I check several times a day.

You are not being a bother. We welcome you with open arms and feel free to ask questions, vent, cry etc. I am very sorry to hear about your b/p and that you have been treated this way. Rest assured that you will be treated with kindness and respect in here. We are here for each other through good and bad times. I do want to let you know up front that this group has patients/survivors/family/friends/spouses both male and female. I hope this isn't a problem for you.

It must be your headache as all the print except for the large, dark print, everything else is the same size.

It was good hearing from you the other night. Did you get the info you requested? Feel free to email me anytime at moochie1@...

Hugs

nne

Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Lifehttp://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/breastcancerpatients.html

Check out my breast cancer ornaments at:http://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/bcornament.htmlalso check out my other ornaments and lots of nice gifts at:http://www.cancerclub.com

hurt, confused, looking for answers

Hello,

My name is Janette. I have posted only one other time. I belonged to the "other" group. Don't want to get in trouble for mentioning names. I had questioned them as one of the ladies had said that having a link under a name was not legal. I do stitchery and was thinking about doing the same thing but can't get a straight answer and was put on moderate for asking several times.. Now they have deleted me. My question is: first is it legal, where can I find out for sure if none of you know, and second was why is/was it legal to have an organization under there selling things along with other info, when its not ok for a real person to do it.

Ok another and very important question. Is is mandatory that I give out personal information in this group also? They said I was suspicious because I would not give out more than my full name, state, and town. I lost my fiance tragically many years ago and never found another love like him. So I became a nanny and had a ready made family/families. I live alone and in this day and age don't feel comfortable sharing more than that. I even said if they came to my state maybe we could meet and I would feel more comfortable as they do races. If this is required in here too I will leave.

One more thing and then I have to get away from this computer as my head is pounding and b/p is up to 180/120. I need to lay down for a bit.

This was also sent to me in a letter from the owner?/moderator? of the group and I don't understand what she means. Can anyone help explain this.There is one founder and how many are allowed to be moderators? Why can't a person get into a group and what does she mean about an unknown person? Boy this is all confusing. I am thinking maybe I should just sell the computer and find a group at the hospital.

The founder of the group can't even get into the group to post anymore and the other moderator is an unknown person who has never even posted.

I am sorry this is so long. Just looking for some answers and a few friends. I will not bother anyone. Just mostly read and answer when I have something worthwhile to add. I don't know if its because of my headache but this print below the larger print I copied and pasted looks way smaller.

Sincerely,

Janette

Yahoo! Autos. Looking for a sweet ride? Get pricing, reviews, & more on new and used cars.

[Guest guest]

Janette Melvin wrote:

Hello,

My name is Janette. I have posted only one other time. I

belonged to the "other" group. Don't want to get in trouble for

mentioning names. I had questioned them as one of the ladies had said

that having a link under a name was not legal. I do stitchery and was

thinking about doing the same thing but can't get a straight answer and

was put on moderate for asking several times.. Now they have deleted

me. My question is: first is it legal, where can I find out for sure if

none of you know, and second was why is/was it legal to have an

organization under there selling things along with other info, when its

not ok for a real person to do it.

Janette, When you say 'a link under a name', can you describe what you

mean? I am confused?

Ok another and very important question. Is is mandatory that I

give out personal information in this group also? They said I was

suspicious because I would not give out more than my full name, state,

and town. I lost my fiance tragically many years ago and never found

another love like him. So I became a nanny and had a ready made

family/families. I live alone and in this day and age don't feel

comfortable sharing more than that. I even said if they came to my

state maybe we could meet and I would feel more comfortable as they do

races. If this is required in here too I will leave.

I think, the three details you mentioned, are perfectly fine.

One more thing and then I have to get away from this

computer as my head is pounding and b/p is up to 180/120. I need to lay

down for a bit.

This was also sent to me in a letter from the owner/moderator of

the group and I don't understand what she means. Can anyone help

explain this.There is one founder and how many are allowed to be

moderators? Why can't a person get into a group and what does she mean

about an unknown person? Boy this is all confusing. I am thinking maybe

I should just sell the computer and find a group at the hospital.

The number of moderators is, a decision made by the owner of the

group. The 'unknown' person, that is being referred to, is someone

that was given the position of 'Moderator' by the owner yet, they have

never posted to the group. When you ask about, why a person can't get

into the group, do you mean, why they can not join right away?

The founder of the group

can't even get into the group to post anymore and the other moderator

is an unknown person who has never even posted.

I am sorry this is so long. Just

looking for some answers and a few friends. I will not bother anyone.

Just mostly read and answer when I have something worthwhile to add. I

don't know if its because of my headache but this print below the

larger print I copied and pasted looks way smaller.

Sincerely,

Janette

I don't think it is long.

[Guest guest]

if you look under my reply you will see 3 links or urls. That is what she was referring to.

Hugs

nne

Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Lifehttp://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/breastcancerpatients.html

Check out my breast cancer ornaments at:http://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/bcornament.htmlalso check out my other ornaments and lots of nice gifts at:http://www.cancerclub.com

Re: hurt, confused, looking for answers

Janette Melvin wrote:

Hello,

My name is Janette. I have posted only one other time. I belonged to the "other" group. Don't want to get in trouble for mentioning names. I had questioned them as one of the ladies had said that having a link under a name was not legal. I do stitchery and was thinking about doing the same thing but can't get a straight answer and was put on moderate for asking several times.. Now they have deleted me. My question is: first is it legal, where can I find out for sure if none of you know, and second was why is/was it legal to have an organization under there selling things along with other info, when its not ok for a real person to do it.Janette, When you say 'a link under a name', can you describe what you mean? I am confused?

Ok another and very important question. Is is mandatory that I give out personal information in this group also? They said I was suspicious because I would not give out more than my full name, state, and town. I lost my fiance tragically many years ago and never found another love like him. So I became a nanny and had a ready made family/families. I live alone and in this day and age don't feel comfortable sharing more than that. I even said if they came to my state maybe we could meet and I would feel more comfortable as they do races. If this is required in here too I will leave.I think, the three details you mentioned, are perfectly fine.

<>One more thing and then I have to get away from this computer as my head is pounding and b/p is up to 180/120. I need to lay down for a bit. This was also sent to me in a letter from the owner/moderator of the group and I don't understand what she means. Can anyone help explain this.There is one founder and how many are allowed to be moderators? Why can't a person get into a group and what does she mean about an unknown person? Boy this is all confusing. I am thinking maybe I should just sell the computer and find a group at the hospital.The number of moderators is, a decision made by the owner of the group. The 'unknown' person, that is being referred to, is someone that was given the position of 'Moderator' by the owner yet, they have never posted to the group. When you ask about, why a person can't get into the group, do you mean, why they can not join right away?

The founder of the group can't even get into the group to post anymore and the other moderator is an unknown person who has never even posted.

I am sorry this is so long. Just looking for some answers and a few friends. I will not bother anyone. Just mostly read and answer when I have something worthwhile to add. I don't know if its because of my headache but this print below the larger print I copied and pasted looks way smaller.

Sincerely,

JanetteI don't think it is long.

[Guest guest]

Janette

We don't do race, color or creed here!! Welcome back. I read your first one and forgot to reply. Sorry. I can't answer the questions about the founder and moderators. But on other lists I know the moderators were chosen by the founder. And they are co-moderators. The moderator here is nne and she has always been color blind, etc. We like having the men here too. If my husband was alive he would be heart broken, so I understand their concerns.

I am 69, live in the Pac. NW and really don't care if people know who I am, etc. However, I live alone too and do not give out my phone number or address casually. So I'm with you there. So sorry you lost your fiance` but you have made a good life for yourself and you are to be commended for that.

Love, prayers, and hugs,

Janet A

IDC Stage I

On CMF chemo now.

[Guest guest]

Thanks Janet for sticking up for us :-) I try to be a good cofounder. Actually there is only one founder/owner of a group. Then he/she can have a cofounder and then he/she can have moderators.

I don't give out my private info easily so you and Janette are not alone on that one.

Hugs

nne

Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Lifehttp://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/breastcancerpatients.html

Check out my breast cancer ornaments at:http://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/bcornament.htmlalso check out my other ornaments and lots of nice gifts at:http://www.cancerclub.com

Re: hurt, confused, looking for answers

Janette

We don't do race, color or creed here!! Welcome back. I read your first one and forgot to reply. Sorry. I can't answer the questions about the founder and moderators. But on other lists I know the moderators were chosen by the founder. And they are co-moderators. The moderator here is nne and she has always been color blind, etc. We like having the men here too. If my husband was alive he would be heart broken, so I understand their concerns.

I am 69, live in the Pac. NW and really don't care if people know who I am, etc. However, I live alone too and do not give out my phone number or address casually. So I'm with you there. So sorry you lost your fiance` but you have made a good life for yourself and you are to be commended for that.

Love, prayers, and hugs,

Janet A

IDC Stage I

On CMF chemo now.

[Guest guest]

Hello ,

Thank you for answering me. By link I mean if uner your name that you

sign at the bottom of a post, some people have a url or link what

ever it is called.

I don't understand what the lady from the other group meant. She said

something about the founder not being able to get in the group and

the moderator not going in and a person as a moderator not posting.

Guess I will never know unless she emails me back as I had asked her

to please reply and explain.

Janette

>

> > Hello,

> > My name is Janette. I have posted only one other time. I belonged

to

> > the " other " group. Don't want to get in trouble for mentioning

names.

> > I had questioned them as one of the ladies had said that having a

link

> > under a name was not legal. I do stitchery and was thinking about

> > doing the same thing but can't get a straight answer and was put

on

> > moderate for asking several times.. Now they have deleted me. My

> > question is: first is it legal, where can I find out for sure if

none

> > of you know, and second was why is/was it legal to have an

> > organization under there selling things along with other info,

when

> > its not ok for a real person to do it.

>

> Janette, When you say 'a link under a name', can you describe what

you

> mean? I am confused?

>

> > Ok another and very important question. Is is mandatory that I

give

> > out personal information in this group also? They said I was

> > suspicious because I would not give out more than my full name,

state,

> > and town. I lost my fiance tragically many years ago and never

found

> > another love like him. So I became a nanny and had a ready made

> > family/families. I live alone and in this day and age don't feel

> > comfortable sharing more than that. I even said if they came to

my

> > state maybe we could meet and I would feel more comfortable as

they do

> > races. If this is required in here too I will leave.

>

> I think, the three details you mentioned, are perfectly fine.

>

> > <>One more thing and then I have to get away from this computer

as my

> > head is pounding and b/p is up to 180/120. I need to lay down for

a bit.

> > This was also sent to me in a letter from the owner/moderator of

the

> > group and I don't understand what she means. Can anyone help

explain

> > this.There is one founder and how many are allowed to be

moderators?

> > Why can't a person get into a group and what does she mean about

an

> > unknown person? Boy this is all confusing. I am thinking maybe I

> > should just sell the computer and find a group at the hospital.

>

> The number of moderators is, a decision made by the owner of the

group.

> The 'unknown' person, that is being referred to, is someone that

was

> given the position of 'Moderator' by the owner yet, they have never

> posted to the group. When you ask about, why a person can't get

into

> the group, do you mean, why they can not join right away?

>

> > The founder of the group can't even get into the group to post

anymore

> > and the other moderator is an unknown person who has never even

posted.

> > I am sorry this is so long. Just looking for some answers and a

few

> > friends. I will not bother anyone. Just mostly read and answer

when I

> > have something worthwhile to add. I don't know if its because of

my

> > headache but this print below the larger print I copied and

pasted

> > looks way smaller.

> > Sincerely,

> > Janette

>

> I don't think it is long.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Janet,

I started to answer this and hit something wrong and the message

disappeared. Not sure what I hit but here goes again.

Thank you for the welcome. Its going to be nice not to be judged. I

don't have much at all to contribute seeing I am " new " to all of

this. I was diagnosed a little over a year ago. So I am still in the

learning mode. I will be 62 in July.

Janette

>

> Janette

>

> We don't do race, color or creed here!! Welcome back. I read

your first one and forgot to reply. Sorry. I can't answer the

questions about the founder and moderators. But on other lists I

know the moderators were chosen by the founder. And they are co-

moderators. The moderator here is nne and she has always been

color blind, etc. We like having the men here too. If my husband

was alive he would be heart broken, so I understand their concerns.

>

> I am 69, live in the Pac. NW and really don't care if people know

who I am, etc. However, I live alone too and do not give out my

phone number or address casually. So I'm with you there. So sorry

you lost your fiance` but you have made a good life for yourself and

you are to be commended for that.

>

> Love, prayers, and hugs,

> Janet A

> IDC Stage I

> On CMF chemo now.

>

[Guest guest]

mjan1944 wrote:

> Hello ,

> Thank you for answering me. By link I mean if under your name that you

> sign at the bottom of a post, some people have a url or link what ever

> it is called.

My pleasure. In terms of the link, some people like nne do that,

as an extension of their personality. For instance, I have always

wanted to do that but, I have always wondered 'What shall I put at the

bottom for a link?'. I could put a link to bowling or, a link to

cross-stitch(two things I really like to do) but, I think for me to have

a link at the bottom of the post, the most appropriate link, would be

one that, is to a site for those that are engaged/married to someone

with BC.

> I don't understand what the lady from the other group meant. She said

> something about the founder not being able to get in the group and the

> moderator not going in and a person as a moderator not posting. Guess

> I will never know unless she emails me back as I had asked her to

> please reply and explain.

> Janette

The 'upshot' here is, the management/administration in that other group,

pretty much, abandoned the group. I have seen numerous situations where

this has happened.

[Guest guest]

Thank you . Janette Range wrote: mjan1944 wrote:> Hello ,> Thank you for answering me. By link I mean if under your name that you > sign at the bottom of a post, some people have a url or link what ever > it is called.My pleasure. In terms of the link, some people like nne do that, as an extension of their personality. For instance, I have always wanted to do that but, I have always wondered 'What shall I put at the bottom for a link?'. I could put a link to bowling or, a link to cross-stitch(two things I really like to do) but, I think for me to have a link at the bottom of the post, the most appropriate link, would be one that, is to a site for those that are engaged/married to someone

with BC.> I don't understand what the lady from the other group meant. She said > something about the founder not being able to get in the group and the > moderator not going in and a person as a moderator not posting. Guess > I will never know unless she emails me back as I had asked her to > please reply and explain.> JanetteThe 'upshot' here is, the management/administration in that other group, pretty much, abandoned the group. I have seen numerous situations where this has happened.

Relax. Yahoo! Mail virus scanning helps detect nasty viruses!

[Guest guest]

Janette Melvin wrote:

> Thank you .

> Janette

Your welcome