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I was at a support meeting in my area in August and met a 15 yr old who was

having WLS the next day. Her mom and grandmother had the surgery and the

daughter was very excited.

----- Original Message -----

> I have a fifteen year old daughter who weighs about 265 pounds. She

> is 5'8 " . I would no sooner put her through this than cut off my arm!

> As for blaming the parents...I feed all three of my kids the

> same...only one has a weight problem, and it's not HER fault!!! I

> keep telling her that, and that as soon as she is old enough we will

> get the surgery for her. I think the hardest part of my post-op

> experience is when I went below what she weighs. I hated being the

> heaviest one in the family, and now she has to have that title. She

> is the sweetest person I know..a really good heart. How anyone could

> put a child they love through that is beyond me!

>

> Brynn

>

>

>

>

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I have a fifteen year old daughter who weighs about 265 pounds. She

is 5'8 " . I would no sooner put her through this than cut off my arm!

As for blaming the parents...I feed all three of my kids the

same...only one has a weight problem, and it's not HER fault!!! I

keep telling her that, and that as soon as she is old enough we will

get the surgery for her. I think the hardest part of my post-op

experience is when I went below what she weighs. I hated being the

heaviest one in the family, and now she has to have that title. She

is the sweetest person I know..a really good heart. How anyone could

put a child they love through that is beyond me!

Brynn

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--- Brynn Cruz wrote:

> As for blaming the parents...I feed all three of my kids the

> same...only one has a weight problem, and it's not HER fault!!! >

Brynn....your daughter is so blessed to have a mom like you. What a

wonderful difference it will make in her life to have her mother

understand the weight instead of blame and punish. She's a very lucky

girl!

=====

H

Dr. Keshishian/surgery 11-21-2000

San Francisco Bay Area

mailto: hillsmith2000@...

__________________________________________________

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Rabecca:

I do have some thoughts. Because dieting hasn't worked for you and

me doesn't mean it doesn't work for anyone. Indeed, one of the

requirements of the insurance companies is that people need to have

tried diet seriously. For people in their teens it is a proper first

step. We both know that they may well wind up screwing up their

metabolism like Joy and I have done and getting to the point where

dieting does no good whatever. But until then I think a non-surgical

approach is probably a good first step.

As I mentioned before everyone has a different reason or a different

mix of reasons why they are fat. Mine are quite different from Joy's

but we have wound up with the identical BMI and surgery is the proper

treatment for both of us. The one thing I cringe with you about is

seeing the kids blame themselves. Lack of will power IS a

contributing factor to some people's obesity. But it is seldom the

only factor and indeed isn't a factor at all for some. So without

extensive counseling and testing I feel that placing blame anywhere

is premature. And even when it is known where the blame lies, what

good does it do to place it? Why not just fix the problem?

Those are my thoughts.

Regards.

Joe Frost, old gentleman, not old fart

Pre-op, San , TX

60 years old, BMI 48

Dr. Welker, Surgery Scheduled 11/29/00

http://www.duodenalswitch.com/Patients/Joe/joe.html

> A friend called me up today and told me to turn on Ricki Lake...

She was hosting a show on MO teens. The audience was blaming the

parents; the parents were blaming the teens; and the teens were

blaming themselves. They all took on the responsibility for being

larger sized, saying no one made them eat... Ricki said she would

help them loose the weight because " if she could loose weight and

keep it off, so could they " ... They are all being sent to the diet

industry via nutritionists and counselors compliments of Ricki Lake,

even the one who said she felt fine being the weight she was! They

even placed blame onto the head of a 13 year old who has been obese

since the age of 2... ~shaking my head~ I just don't get it!!! Not

once was surgery brought up... Not once did anyone step up to the

kids defence other than to blame the parents... Not once did the

professionals tell them that it might be physiological. The title of

the show was something like " my teen weighs 300+ pounds and is still

gaining " ... I think what they put those kids through was criminal...

~shaking my head~ Anyone else have thoughts on this???

>

> ~hugs~

> Rabecca, Portland OR

> Dr Baltasar, Spain

> To be switched in June, 2001

> BMI 38

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Hi Rabecca, my only thought on this is that Rikki Lake and shows like

hers, including Maury Povich, Sally Raphael and of course Jerry

Springer, are sensationalism at its most dispicable. I will not watch

them anymore, because no matter how much the host or hostess presents

these issues as an opportunity to help them, that is absolutely not true

and is only done to get the ratings. Peoples' lives and problems and

dirty laundry aired out for the sake of the almighty dollar is putrid.

Don't waste your time on them anymore! :-)

Robin F

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--- Joe Frost wrote:

> Because dieting hasn't worked for you and

> me doesn't mean it doesn't work for anyone. Indeed, one of the

> requirements of the insurance companies is that people need to have

> tried diet seriously.

I disagree with that, Joe. My experience has been that dieting is a

major cause of weight gain and should not be a part of anyone's health

program. Now eating healthy and exercising, yes! But starving the body

in any way, especially when you are wired to hold fat, only seems to

cause the body to hold onto fat with even more zeal and determination.

I think the insurance companies are simply thinking with the old flawed

diet paradigm when they require a person to show that they have tried

dieting before they will approve surgery.

I have a 13 year old son who is not fat, but he is stocky and I think

he has the genes I have. He eats normally, just like his friends, but

he carries a bit more weight than they do. I am doing everything I

can-- and we have had lots of long talks about it--to make sure that he

understands the hazards of dieting so he won't ever try it. And I mean

not ever try it even ONCE! I firmly believe that is all it takes to

start screwing up the metabolism.

And I heartily agree with you that no one should be blamed or shamed

for being fat. That Ricky Lake show sounded like something those kids

will all be talking about in therapy in a few years.

Ok, that's my .02 for today. YMMV!

=====

H

Dr. Keshishian/surgery 11-21-2000

San Francisco Bay Area

mailto: hillsmith2000@...

__________________________________________________

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--- Joe Frost joefrost@e... wrote:

> Because dieting hasn't worked for you and

> me doesn't mean it doesn't work for anyone. Indeed, one of the

> requirements of the insurance companies is that people need to have

> tried diet seriously.

wrote:

I disagree with that, Joe. My experience has been that dieting is a

major cause of weight gain and should not be a part of anyone's health

program.

--------------

Then we're just going to have to agree to disagree. I have NEVER run

into a doctor, surgeon or otherwise who would agree that dieting

should never be a part of *anyone's health program.* IMO sensible

doctors don't feel that dieting should be part of everyone's program

but virtually all feel that it does work for some. Obviously it

hasn't for you and it hasn't for me. But it has definitely worked

for my business partner and my best friend. They don't have the

genes or the satiety disorder I do or the metabolism disorder that

Joy does.

Regards.

Joe Frost, old gentleman, not old fart

Pre-op, San , TX

60 years old, BMI 48

Dr. Welker, Surgery Scheduled 11/29/00

http://www.duodenalswitch.com/Patients/Joe/joe.html

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