I AM WITH YOU, TERRY M.

[Guest guest]

Terry, good to hear from you. I am sorry that we are feeling this

way. Even though it may seem that it would be mentally impossible to

deal with AS/post-AS/ttc, I felt the same way and here I am still

standing over a year and a half. I cannot say it will get easier,

but you will build your mental/emotional strength to cope with it.

My dh seems to be doing better than I am in coping, but men tend to

shrug it off on the outside. I suspect that my husband has

depression because he has gained about 20+ pounds in the last two

years. He seems like this confident, happy go lucky guy, with

everything else going great for him (except no kids between us). He

has expressed at least that the ttc part has stressed him out. He

tries to comfort me that we will do everything possible and he will

support me, even adopt if we have to. I am one that believes people

if they back up their words with action. In this aspect, I am unsure

if my dh would consider extensive fertility options or even

surrogacy/adoption as they have a big price tag. He can get stressed

with finances. We make descent money, but we are both paying for our

MBA loans, and trying to decrease our personal debt.

I am afraid that we may compromise having a family versus getting

ahead in living arrangements. We both want a bigger house. This

decision may be delayed because of the potential high cost of

fertility testing/treatment. Yes, we can sacrifice. I just hate the

fact that this will cause us to make some tough decisions. I know

that there may be less expensive adoption processes if we know of

someone who wants to give a baby up and we just pay for a $1500-2000

legal fee. I would consider surrogacy as I have a co-worker friend

who would do it for free and we just pay her medical bills. I know

that this does not include the surrogacy medical cost procedures.

Oh, I just wanted to share that if we had to go the route of

surrogacy with my friend, I told her that if we had triplets, I would

give her one to keep as a gift. She does not have children. " Ruth "

is 40 and she mentioned that the fertility rested with her husband.

She and I laughed at the idea.

Thanks for sharing your mutual thoughts and feelings. Things have to

get better for us and it will, somehow, someday... it just has to,

like the law of physics or the cycle of life.

Take good care and enjoy your weekend,

Alma

[Guest guest]

Alma,

I just wanted to send a big THANK YOU your way for all of your

continued support.

Terry M.