Re: frustrated (sorry very long and boring, don't read)

[Guest guest]

What a sad story, , its almost child abuse, I think, in cahoots with

the authorities, at that. No idea what you can do, I'm afraid, in England,

but sending you, and him, lots of sympathy.

Lesley

-------------

said.....My SIL has just rung and said her 16 year old has been

diagnosed with aspergers autism, but on the upper scale of it.

[Guest guest]

>

> Sorry, i just feel that his life has now been washed away

Oh , I don't know what to say - it seems so terrible for him.

It sounds as though you have been really close to him - and it must be so

hard for you to be unable to help him now. Can't help you - but I'm sending

you lots of supportive thoughts!

L-Y

[Guest guest]

This may not be as bad as it seems on first hearing. Perhaps he will now get the

opportunity to develop and grow again because he is not continually being pushed

away - he developed with you because he was encouraged and supported - children

know when they are not wanted. There are people far more qualified than me to

talk about aspergers but I have several friends who could be said to exhibit

plenty of the symptoms who live very full lives.

Just a thought

Caroline

Jersey

> My SIL has just rung and said her 16 year old has been diagnosed with

aspergers autism, but on the upper scale of it.<BR>

> This explains his reluctance to get up (he isn't lazy just unable to motivate

himself), and will now be moved to a home for disabled adults as he isn't

capable of caring for himself.<BR>

> Mc<BR>

> SAHM 6, Olivia 3, 1, 15/3/00<BR>

> Nearly Ex-Editor Wallingford and District<BR>

Caroline Germain

ANT Jersey

[Guest guest]

, I really don't know what to say. I have read the comments others have

said and I know I would not be as eloquent.

All I can do is repeat what L-Y said and send you lots of supportive

thoughts.

H

[Guest guest]

>My SIL has just rung and said her 16 year old has been diagnosed with

aspergers autism, but on the upper scale of it.

>This explains his reluctance to get up (he isn't lazy just unable to

motivate himself), and will now be moved to a home for disabled adults as he

isn't capable of caring for himself.

>I have a very hard time understanding how the boy we had no trouble with

now has autism.

, I don't really know what to say except what an awful situation. Are

you able to contact the boy himself, to hear what he has to say about it?

Is he able to speak for himself at all? Sounds like he responds well when

he is treated well (ie when he lived with you) but his " uncontrollable "

behaviour is a reaction to his mother's resentment of him - chances are he

*is* difficult/different when he's with her - hence the diagnosis?

Poor lad, and poor you as I'm sure this all puts a lot of pressure on you to

get involved, which you just don't need at the moment. Offload on the list

as much as you like if it helps.

McVeigh

Newsletter Editor & Secretary, Leighton Buzzard & District

SAHM to (AKA Tiff Toff) DOB 19/9/97

& Caitlin (AKA Cake Tin), DOB 12/1/00

Photo Album:

http://albums.photopoint.com/j/AlbumIndex?u=697874 & a=5085964

[Guest guest]

How incredibly sad for the child. Labels are awful things and very hard to get

rid of. Perhaps being away from his mother, who seems to bring out the worst in

him, will enable him to show others that he doesn't deserve that label. All you

can do is let him know that you know what he is really like and be there for

him.

Alison

>My SIL has just rung and said her 16 year old has been diagnosed with

aspergers autism, but on the upper scale of it.

>This explains his reluctance to get up (he isn't lazy just unable to

motivate himself), and will now be moved to a home for disabled adults as he

isn't capable of caring for himself.

>I have a very hard time understanding how the boy we had no trouble with

now has autism.

[Guest guest]

>

> I just want to weep for him.

>

> Sorry. very long and boring rant.

, we are with you. not boring, not long.

Thinking of you and sending lots of ethereal (I love that word) hugs

{{{{{{}}}}}}

Sue S

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

This must be very hard for you and your family as it's so difficult

to understand. My eldest brother (now 23) has asbergers and it's not

been easy for my family and especially for my parents. It's really

hard to come to terms with a label such as Autistic and I'd suggest

you try and get in touch with a support group of some type to get all

the infomation you need. People with Asbergers often find mid-

adolesence very difficult andfrom whst I know it is a common time for

diagnosis. Skills seem to stop developing at this stage and so what

seemed like a pretty able child starts to slip backwards compared to

peers. My brother is also a diabetic and until he was about 16 he

controlled thisperfectly, but seemed to lose the ability to do so as

he began to assert some degree of independence. Social work have

been awful about getting him a place to live and put him in a flat on

his own when he really needed a residential care place. He went from

the flat to sheltered housing which wasn't good enough either, and

ias currently in a long stay psychiatric unit until they can find a

place elsewhere for him. It doesn't sound as if your nephew has as

many problems as my brother, who also has learning problems and

epilepsy, but it is important that he gets the right care. Asbergers

is very poorly understood still but by pushing for the right help now

there is no reason why your nephre shouldn't have a full and

independent life - if he gets support. Asbergers is not a diagnosis

which will have been made lightly as the diagnosis demands

substantial financial help (and, of course, money is everything in

health & social services nowadays......), but your SIL could get a

second opinion if she's not sure.

I'm no great expert but I do have some experience of living with

someone with Asbergers, so feel free to keep in contact, and to email

me sepertely if you want.

Keep your chin up. It's not the end of the world for him and he'll

need your support and a friendly auntie to visit as much as anything

else !

Lots of love

Part time SAHM to (8 months) & Jurgen (30), as well as

sister to various folk !!