Re: Sponsor forbids breast implants

[Guest guest]

> On the about.com alcoholism site there is a new thread about a woman

> who really badly wants to have her breasts augmented, but her

sponsor

> is telling her not to do it. She is conflicted.

I havent been able to get into the site for some reason. What is the

reason for the sponsor's objection? That she should accept the breasts

God gave her? I guess there might be reason for a friend of any kind

to express concern over what may be an unnecessary operation, but it's

the " telling " bit that bothers me. " I'm telling you as your sponsor

dont do it " my own said to me about something, as if it's ever

anybody's job to order another free person like that. Wasnt the only

thing either.

P.

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

> On the about.com alcoholism site there is a new thread about a woman

> who really badly wants to have her breasts augmented, but her sponsor

> is telling her not to do it. She is conflicted.

Or are you trolling about.com under another name?

Seriously, I once heard a woman say her sponsor wanted her to quit

her job. She was gainfully employed for the first time in years, pregnant,

and the doc said there was no reason she couldn't continue to work (in fact,

it would be beneficial).

The biggest problem with sponsorship arises when someone with no

qualifications, beyond some period of abstinence, tries to run another

person's life.

One close friend, a well-known local attorney, has been attending

meetings and is deluged with people who want to be his sponsor. Most of

these folks have nothing of value in their lives beyond their social

standing in AA. By latching onto a sponsee with standing outside the

program, they hope to show they aren't just losers who do nothing but sit

around and whine. One guy who is currently facing felony charges actually

told my friend, " I know that God wants me to be your sponsor. " (I am sure he

hoped to assign his new sponsee to defend him as part of God's plan.)

Sponsorship, as it's usually practiced, reminds me of the

" shepherding movement, " where fundamentalist Christians would set up a

structure where " shepherds " higher in the hierarchy would direct the major

life decisions of their underlings.

http://mb-soft.com/believe/txc/shepherd.htm

On the other hand, I had a very good sponsor with a sort of Zen

approach, who would always talk in terms of his experience, and encourage me

to examine situations and make my own decisions. He is a great guy and we

still have lunch on occasion, although I am finding less and less to talk

about since his life is so AAcentric.

I have come to recognize that this sort of person is known to us

earth people as a " friend " who will discuss things in confidence and try to

offer solutions. I have a wealth of people in my life who are intelligent,

sensible and always willing to talk. I also realize that, depending on the

specific issue I need to discuss, it may be far more advisible to consult

one person over another. I seek out advice from people who seem to deal

well with the situation I am facing at any given time, and know many who

might be extremely insightful in one area of life but clueless in another.

-- Bob

[Guest guest]

The biggest problem with sponsorship arises when someone with no

qualifications, beyond some period of abstinence, tries to run another

person's life-

I agree with the above. furthermore, what if the person who is a sponsor is

not even a real alcoholic/addict-then it means he didn't even really

accomplish sobriety against any odds. Mike.

Re: Sponsor forbids breast implants

>

> ----- Original Message -----

>

>

> > On the about.com alcoholism site there is a new thread about a woman

> > who really badly wants to have her breasts augmented, but her sponsor

> > is telling her not to do it. She is conflicted.

>

> Or are you trolling about.com under another name?

> Seriously, I once heard a woman say her sponsor wanted her to quit

> her job. She was gainfully employed for the first time in years, pregnant,

> and the doc said there was no reason she couldn't continue to work (in

fact,

> it would be beneficial).

> The biggest problem with sponsorship arises when someone with no

> qualifications, beyond some period of abstinence, tries to run another

> person's life.

> One close friend, a well-known local attorney, has been attending

> meetings and is deluged with people who want to be his sponsor. Most of

> these folks have nothing of value in their lives beyond their social

> standing in AA. By latching onto a sponsee with standing outside the

> program, they hope to show they aren't just losers who do nothing but sit

> around and whine. One guy who is currently facing felony charges actually

> told my friend, " I know that God wants me to be your sponsor. " (I am sure

he

> hoped to assign his new sponsee to defend him as part of God's plan.)

> Sponsorship, as it's usually practiced, reminds me of the

> " shepherding movement, " where fundamentalist Christians would set up a

> structure where " shepherds " higher in the hierarchy would direct the major

> life decisions of their underlings.

> http://mb-soft.com/believe/txc/shepherd.htm

> On the other hand, I had a very good sponsor with a sort of Zen

> approach, who would always talk in terms of his experience, and encourage

me

> to examine situations and make my own decisions. He is a great guy and we

> still have lunch on occasion, although I am finding less and less to talk

> about since his life is so AAcentric.

> I have come to recognize that this sort of person is known to us

> earth people as a " friend " who will discuss things in confidence and try

to

> offer solutions. I have a wealth of people in my life who are intelligent,

> sensible and always willing to talk. I also realize that, depending on the

> specific issue I need to discuss, it may be far more advisible to consult

> one person over another. I seek out advice from people who seem to deal

> well with the situation I am facing at any given time, and know many who

> might be extremely insightful in one area of life but clueless in another.

>

> -- Bob

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

> On the about.com alcoholism site there is a new thread about a

woman

> who really badly wants to have her breasts augmented, but her

sponsor

> is telling her not to do it. She is conflicted.

>

> P.S.: If anything about this post is offensive or insensitive to

> women, I apologize, grovel and beg for forgiveness in advance.

^^^^^^^^^^^

So do I, but maybe she could simply remind her sponser that: " Half

measures availed us nothing " ! (Sorry, tried, but couldn't resist ;-)

Mack

[Guest guest]

Breast augmentation makes cancer detection more difficult. This is a

very compelling argument against it, and has nothing to do with AA.

Nothing to do with sexism, either.

> On the about.com alcoholism site there is a new thread about a woman

> who really badly wants to have her breasts augmented, but her

sponsor

> is telling her not to do it. She is conflicted.

>

> P.S.: If anything about this post is offensive or insensitive to

> women, I apologize, grovel and beg for forgiveness in advance.

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

> The biggest problem with sponsorship arises when someone with no

> qualifications, beyond some period of abstinence, tries to run another

> person's life-

>

> I agree with the above. furthermore, what if the person who is a sponsor

is

> not even a real alcoholic/addict-then it means he didn't even really

> accomplish sobriety against any odds. Mike.

I have concluded, according to their own definition, that the only

" real " alcoholics and addicts are those people who, for whatever reason,

cannot abstain without participating in XA.

There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to

have been born that way. They seem to be constitutionally incapable of

grasping the concept of taking responsibility for their actions and viewing

their self-destuctive behaviors as such without constant reminders from

others like themselves.

You should be asking, instead, whether the person being sponsored is

a " real " one.

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

> On the about.com alcoholism site there is a new thread about a woman

> who really badly wants to have her breasts augmented, but her sponsor

> is telling her not to do it. She is conflicted.

I just remembered a woman who was in my first year class at law

school. I had quit drinking shortly before I started, and was surprised to

see a face I recognized from meetings.

She was taking the first year for the second time. In California, if

you don't maintain a " C " average during your first year, you have to pass a

one-day bar exam on first year subjects before you can move on to second

year.

She had failed the " Baby Bar " six times, so she decided to repeat.

It was a small class (about 50 people), so everyone noticed when she was

absent for almost an entire month during Spring semester.

When she returned, the change was obvious, and she started wearing

tight sweaters to make sure people noticed. (There were no signs of chemo or

illness, so I am fairly certain the augmentation did not occur after a

removal.)

I guess it is just a matter of priorities.

-- Bob

[Guest guest]

I meant that there are some people who just don't know what to do with

themselves, so they end up at 12 step groups as a place to find

companionship, or fellowship, and to fit in, they invent or exaggerate a

case of simple minor drug or alcohol use/abuse into full blown addiction,

and then, since they were never really addicted in the first place, they

find it easy to accumulate impressive amounts of clean time, and next thing

you know, they are a AA/NA celebrity. I know firsthand that this syndrome

occurs. Mike.

Re: Sponsor forbids breast implants

> ----- Original Message -----

>

>

>

> > The biggest problem with sponsorship arises when someone with no

> > qualifications, beyond some period of abstinence, tries to run another

> > person's life-

> >

> > I agree with the above. furthermore, what if the person who is a sponsor

> is

> > not even a real alcoholic/addict-then it means he didn't even really

> > accomplish sobriety against any odds. Mike.

>

> I have concluded, according to their own definition, that the only

> " real " alcoholics and addicts are those people who, for whatever reason,

> cannot abstain without participating in XA.

> There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to

> have been born that way. They seem to be constitutionally incapable of

> grasping the concept of taking responsibility for their actions and

viewing

> their self-destuctive behaviors as such without constant reminders from

> others like themselves.

> You should be asking, instead, whether the person being sponsored

is

> a " real " one.

>

>

>

>

>