Re: Tired of it all- General Vent

[Guest guest]

,

I am so sorry you are fealing a bit down. It get so tiring when everyone wants to know how every breath is! People mean well, but do they really need us to talk about nothing else. It is always one extreme or the other. How is it going looking for an RE? Can Dr. Palter help you on this one? It seems he would be well equipped to do this? There must be some secret network of REs we all do not know about?

Hang in there,

grantmeyer99 wrote:

[Guest guest]

Hi W

I am sorry that you are feeling down but I totally understand.

Yesterday I went to the hospital to have some test done. The first

questioned as was, when was your last period? Asherman's what's that?

This is from medical professionals. Most have no idea of what as is.

From " friends and family "

Audrey what are you waiting for you are not getting younger?

Audrey still no babies yet?

Just get it done and over with?

Can't they do something?

Are you pregnant yet?

Herman give her some babies.

The two of you would make lovely children.

You are going to be lonely when you get old.

Don't wait until it's to late.

Is that your child.

Audrey have them while your young.

Just pray and god will answer your prayers, like I don't pray every

second of every day. I just want to scream sometimes.

It is difficult that we have no control of our bodies and to know

this happened due to no fault of our own. Sometimes even with all the

knowledge my mind still finds it difficult to understand why. Some

days are harder than other but with god's help we will all find a way

to win the war.

I find that those without fertility issues don't understand how

difficult it truely is. Your are doing everthing in your power to

regain your fertility and I commend you for that, you have not given

up and that takes a STRONG individual. So try to get lost in your

precious son ( I'm sure you do)and enjoy every second.

as is a very hard road. We have to fights so many battles but

in the end we will win the war. Remember after all you have been

though you are entittled to feel down and we are here for you.

I am sending you a BIG hug,

Audrey

> Hi girls,

>

> I am trying not to feel tired but I am. I am tired of the

questions

> of how I am doing, how is it going in TTC, and just tired of going

to

> doctors, explaining things to people and things just not being easy

> or simple. I hope I don't bring everyone else down by saying these

> things, but it gets so exhausting with this whole experience.

>

> First we have to practically diagnose ourselves, then seek out the

> best treatment because most doctors are not even familiar with AS.

I

> had to wait so I could travel which added a couple of months, then,

I

> still don't have any endometrium. Now, I need to start over,

finding

> a new doc, a RE, who can help me build up my lining so we could

> possibly conceive a child. In the mean time, I have a beautiful 4

> year old son who wants my time, attention and energy and I am

always

> focused on something else. I hate to miss out on enjoying him

while

> I am so busy trying to figure out what I am going to do about my

> reproductive health. This also isn't the best medicine for a

> marriage when we are so focused on this that everything else is

> lacking. Do you guys ever feel this way? Sorry to complain but

> thanks for listening/reading. You all are the best support system

> ever.

>

> W

[Guest guest]

Thank you for your kind words. I am close to deciding to do the IVF,

but there are times that I just don't know. I would like to talk to

my dr again to see of he would reconsider on the number of embroyos.

I am sorry you are feeling down. You have been very inspirational to

me with your strength. I hope you are able to find a dr to help you

increase your lining.

I understand how you feel with regards to having this consume you and

not having energy for your son. (By the way do I remember correctly

that he was born on 1/28/99 - that is my little girls birthday too).

Sometimes I just want to hide and not face anything but luckily the

children demand attention. They bring me out of the blues and remind

me what I am trying to achieve. Hopefully you are able time with him

and he will help you through the rough days.

Good luck and take care

U.

[Guest guest]

, Audrey, U,

Thanks for the support and good wishes. I do not have any new

information about a RE or my lining. I am still waiting to talk to

Dr Palter again and ask him about a referral in this general area.

Atlanta is the closest place, which is about 3 hours away, but I will

see who he recommends first. I just don't know if I have the energy

to go through will the travel, the doc, the questions, forms,

insurance problems, and the tests that will follow even once I have a

doctor.

Thanks for your concern and for your friendship.

W

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Vent all you want!!! We all understand . I wish I could write something to you that would take away some of your frustration...

To be quite honest even though I just had surgery with Dr. Palter I am preparing myself for the worst case scenario... I'm afraid to relax!!! We have all be given an unfair deal!!!!! I am praying that things WILL WORK OUT FOR YOU!!!!! Please vent all you want Kristi

grantmeyer99 wrote:

Hi girls,I am trying not to feel tired but I am. I am tired of the questions of how I am doing, how is it going in TTC, and just tired of going to doctors, explaining things to people and things just not being easy or simple. I hope I don't bring everyone else down by saying these things, but it gets so exhausting with this whole experience. First we have to practically diagnose ourselves, then seek out the best treatment because most doctors are not even familiar with AS. I had to wait so I could travel which added a couple of months, then, I still don't have any endometrium. Now, I need to start over, finding a new doc, a RE, who can help me build up my lining so we could possibly conceive a child. In the mean time, I have a beautiful 4 year old son who wants my time, attention and energy and I am always focused on something else. I hate to miss out on enjoying him while I am so busy trying to figure out what I am going to do about my reproductive health. This also isn't the best medicine for a marriage when we are so focused on this that everything else is lacking. Do you guys ever feel this way? Sorry to complain but thanks for listening/reading. You all are the best support system ever.W

[Guest guest]

I too understand how tiring the whole process is and how much worse it is when people continue to ask quetions or give you advice when they don't know the first thing about your problems. And, I can't stand the promises that can't be kept - "God will give you a baby - just have faith, I know we'll be pregant together the next time, The next one will be a keeper - I just know it, You will make wonderful parents - you're journey is just more difficult" I know they all mean well, but it just hurts when their promises don't come true. I do still have hope and faith, but the fact is that we may never have a biological child - no one knows for sure.

My husband and I have wanted to start a family for three years now. The first two we felt we should wait because he was going through a career change and had no insurance. Then we finally were settled enough to try and we conceived in two months, but miscarried at 9 weeks. Then it took 3 months to start over because I had to have a second D & C due to retained products. Then it took 5 months to conceive again. All the while listening to docs and everyone else saying "don't worry everything will be fine this time". Then I insisted on an ultrasound at 10 weeks because of that bad gut feeling (I know what you mean Roxie) The u/s showed the fetus was only 8.5 weeks with no heartbeat. then of course another D & C. That was in Dec. and no period since. So I'm just starting this whole AS thing and sick of hearing docs tell me "don't worry you're still young" Well I know I'm only 30, but I feel each minute clicking by because we haven't even been able to get started yet. My friends who weren't ready to even think about it when we wanted to start are already on their second pregnancies. I know I shouldn't worry about it that way, but it's hard not to.

I have very close friends who've known me most of my life and have a great supportive family, but I feel myself withdrawing more and more each day. I'm so sick of calling to catch up and only have negative things to talk about. As much as they would like to, they just can't understand. In addition to these problems, my father-in-law passed away unexpectedly Feb. 7, and my husband is losing his job at the end of the month. We really feel like we're drowning here!! When do you know you've reached rock bottom?

I'm sorry that we are all here for the same reason, but I'm so thankful I've found a place to vent my feelings to people who understand. Thanks for listening!

Cz

From: audreyaudgee

To: Ashermans

Sent: Sunday, March 16, 2003 1:07 PM

Subject: Re: Tired of it all- General Vent

Hi WI am sorry that you are feeling down but I totally understand.Yesterday I went to the hospital to have some test done. The first questioned as was, when was your last period? Asherman's what's that? This is from medical professionals. Most have no idea of what as is.From "friends and family"Audrey what are you waiting for you are not getting younger?Audrey still no babies yet?Just get it done and over with?Can't they do something?Are you pregnant yet?Herman give her some babies.The two of you would make lovely children.You are going to be lonely when you get old.Don't wait until it's to late.Is that your child.Audrey have them while your young.Just pray and god will answer your prayers, like I don't pray every second of every day. I just want to scream sometimes.It is difficult that we have no control of our bodies and to know this happened due to no fault of our own. Sometimes even with all the knowledge my mind still finds it difficult to understand why. Some days are harder than other but with god's help we will all find a way to win the war.I find that those without fertility issues don't understand how difficult it truely is. Your are doing everthing in your power to regain your fertility and I commend you for that, you have not given up and that takes a STRONG individual. So try to get lost in your precious son ( I'm sure you do)and enjoy every second. as is a very hard road. We have to fights so many battles but in the end we will win the war. Remember after all you have been though you are entittled to feel down and we are here for you.I am sending you a BIG hug,Audrey> Hi girls,> > I am trying not to feel tired but I am. I am tired of the questions > of how I am doing, how is it going in TTC, and just tired of going to > doctors, explaining things to people and things just not being easy > or simple. I hope I don't bring everyone else down by saying these > things, but it gets so exhausting with this whole experience. > > First we have to practically diagnose ourselves, then seek out the > best treatment because most doctors are not even familiar with AS. I > had to wait so I could travel which added a couple of months, then, I > still don't have any endometrium. Now, I need to start over, finding > a new doc, a RE, who can help me build up my lining so we could > possibly conceive a child. In the mean time, I have a beautiful 4 > year old son who wants my time, attention and energy and I am always > focused on something else. I hate to miss out on enjoying him while > I am so busy trying to figure out what I am going to do about my > reproductive health. This also isn't the best medicine for a > marriage when we are so focused on this that everything else is > lacking. Do you guys ever feel this way? Sorry to complain but > thanks for listening/reading. You all are the best support system > ever.> > W

[Guest guest]

,

I'm sorry that you are feeling down. I feel like you do in regards to

not always having energy for my 2 year old. I worry that I am

spending her best years trying to have another baby and that I am

trying so hard to have number 2 that number 1 is getting pushed to the

back burner. My marriage has suffered too because no matter how hard

I try, it is what I think about. It seems like now that I am waiting

to see how things turned out from surgery that it is worse. I have

even been spending a lot of time talking to a potential surrogate in

case the results of my next check with Dr. Olive aren't so good. Add

to that the many well meaning people who make comments about how I

should have more children. I think because I have reproduced once

people assume that I just don't want more. Lately I find myself just

telling the truth and usually people apologize and change the subject

and I feel like I have just educated on more person on what AS is all

about. It becomes easier and easier to discuss my uterus with

strangers and I feel if they are gutsy enough to ask a personal

question then they better be prepared to hear about my reproductive

organs. I hope that you are able to find an RE who will help you and

that you find some answers. Consider yourself hugged and I really

understood everything that you said.

Hang in there!!!!!

Roxie

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

It is so frustrating. I felt the same way with our 11 month old

daughter when I was trying to schedule things, rearrange work etc...

to get to appointments in NY. However, your health and well being

have to come first because it is really, really hard to be there with

kids 100% when you don't feel great....hang in there. Can you get a

good referral from you surgeon ? I am hoping this might help.

And to add my 2 cents....I too get tired of comments and questions. I

recently was at an ER because I managed to seriously cut my hand

while slicing a bagel in the a.m. (needed stitches, my luck) and the

Dr. was talking about an antibiotic .... I mentioned I was on one

from my AS surgery and she commented, 'oh that is serious....' to

which I replied 'yes, we are really hopeful that we might someday be

able to have another child but may not be so fortunate....' Her

response was, 'yeah, usually you can't ever get pregnant again with

that syndrome.' My other favorite comment is about how lucky I am to

not have had a period for a year and a half.... This is not an easy

journey.....

At any rate, I wish you an 'up' day. I am hoping that Monday you can

get a good referral and some information that would ease your mind a

bit.

Anne

[Guest guest]

,

I'm so sorry about the loss of your father in-law. How very sad and

what a hard time this must be for you and your husband. Now with him

losing his job too. Sometimes it does feel like it can't get any

worse doesn't it. Please take some time and be very kind to yourself.

Don't worry about withdrawing a little from friends, you are going

through a very difficult time and you deserve a break from the

questions that you don't have the answers too. I remember when my Mom

died and I was so devastated. Everyone meant well but I was so tired

of hearing how she was in a better place etc...Finally one of my

friends gave me a card that and she wrote that although I knew that my

Mom was no longer in pain it doesn't take away from the fact that I

simply missed her. I thought it was the kindest thing anyone could

have said to me. You are right that there are no guarantees in life

and there is very little we have control over. You have done all that

you can by going to an A list doctor and following his advice. Please

vent all that you want to and if you ever just want someone to talk

to, let me know and I would be happy to call you sometime. I know

that after talking to Vicki from this group, I felt like a weight had

been lifted. You can e-mail me privately at ggbarker@... if you

ever want to.

Take Care,

Roxie

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I'm relatively new here, but I just wanted to echo the sentiments of

all the other women who have responded. Well do I know that feeling

of being sick and tired of it all. The energy that it took to

CONVINCE my providers that I had AS (being laughed at all along and

made to feel like a neurotic female), all these procedures, all the

worrying and fear--it's just overwhelming! And the anger is tiring

too. When I think of the odds involved here, I just want to shout

out Why me???

I am constantly gripped by the fear that we will never have children

of our own, and then what would we do? My husband and I have built

our life around this. If I hear one more time that " GOD has a plan

for me " , I can't be held responsible for what I will do! Or how

about (in regards to the miscarriage that eventually led to

AS), " Well at least your egg and sperm can get together--that's the

most important thing " and then I have to launch into my description

of how my absent lining will be a bit of an obstacle.

Well, I'm sorry because this has turned into more of my own vent

instead of the support post I wanted it to be. I just wanted to let

you know that I share your feelings and it helped me to know that I'm

not the only one. (((())))!!!

Haley

[Guest guest]

Anne--

OK, now I am laughing because I had almost the exact same experience

as you! About a week after my operative hysteroscopy I cut my hand

while taking the pit out of an avocado. I went to the ER and when

they wanted to put me on antibiotics, I mentioned that I was already

on them from the surgery. Of course then I had to launch into an

explanation of AS, to which I got, " SHeesh and you're pretty young to

never be able to have kids " . Thanks! That's just what I needed to

hear!!! AARGH!!

Haley