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Hi Everyone,

I don’t post much but I read the e-mail all the time. I am having a very diificult time right and I don’t know what to do. I don’t have anyone to talk to. This disease is very isolating. I'm on 17 1/3 mg of prednisone and it's making crazy. I know it is not

a lot but it seems to make depressed and psychotic. I saw my neuro last week because my double vision seems to be coming back and I've been having these heart palpitations and this general uncomfortable feeling in my left upper chest and heart area. My fingers and toes ache so badly. They did all the recommended blood work and found nothing. I'm going for a CT of the chest on Tues. I am thinking of applying for disability, but I don't know if I should. I mean - I'm I that sick? I know I can't work. I so sad. Nothing I planned for my life is working out. I feel stuck. I can't move forward, I can't move back. No one understands what I'm going through. Sometimes I see no reason for getting up in the morning. For what ? To take pills and geek on steroids. I don't know that to do. I feel trapped. I don't understand what God means by this. What I'm I suppose to do with this ? Anyway, I'm just a little scared because I have no control over this thing. I thying to fill out these disability papers and I have no idea what to tell these people. I should write... Life sucks, give me some money !

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