Re: One More Rant, Then I'll Behave (Long)

[Guest guest]

Jacqui, I have a new daughter in law with that name :-) only spelled Jacque. It

is a pretty name.

Feel free to rant and rave....I think it is good to get it out. How old are you

if I may ask?

Sounds like your doctors are related to my doctors. ....I will say most of my

life I've had to " grit my teeth " just to do anything....altho there were some

years that were easier. I always feel poeople have dues to pay, and these are my

dues. Maybe not a good way to look at it, but the only way that works for me.

I've been on my own since age 16 really........all this " stuff " started at age

19-20. Luckily for me, I did end up marrying my high school sweetheart, and he

has been a great pardner in life. In all truth, there were many times I was

bed-ridden and don't know what would've happened to me without him and my

children. I thank God for that. I sure don't have any answers for ya, even tho I

feel like I should have some :-(

I am gonna say one thing, and if it helps anyone, that is good, but others don't

get mad at me for saying this. I am older now, past 50 years , and about the

only thing I have learned in life is that we have to be accepting. Trying to

fight things is mostly a losing battle in my mind. It is much easier in the long

run if we accept and just do the best we can. Try to relax and find peace. That

doc Dean thing burned me up.......pompous person if ya ask me. I will say

however, I think some " can " notice the word " can " ...:-) end up with physical

pain from our mental and emotional anguish. I sometimes think that is what

brought all my pain out.

Anyway, Jacqui.....God love ya! You are suffering no doubt about that....and I

know how overwhelmed I would be to be in your shoes. I will say I agree with the

couselor somewhat, in that it is hard for her to label you disabled if she

thinks she can help you. But in the meantime how does one live? I sure have no

answers and it pains me. All I can offer you is hope, and peace, and the will.

and determination....to go on and try to be as accepting of your life situations

as you possibly can...and reach as high as possible. I will be thinkin of you

and wishing you strength. God bless.

Jill

One More Rant, Then I'll Behave (Long)

Hi Everyone,

I know...I'm just on a roll tonight...I promise I'll quit after this one lol.

I have had alot going on in my life lately and am so stressed out that I have

been spending more nights that not, crying and rocking myself on the couch. For

those of you who don't already know, in addition to having Fibromyalgia, I also

have a number of other illnesses. Included are TMJ Syndrome, Intra-Occular

Migraines, chronic Sinusitis, Periodontitis, Arthritis, mild Mitral Valve

Prolapse, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, some " female " problems, a recent x-ray

showing something floating beneath my right knee for which my PCP is sending me

to see an Orthopedic Surgeon...

I have also been dealing with Papillary Thyroid Cancer since 1979, which had

spread to both lungs by the time they found it. I have had 6 or 7 recurrences of

the Cancer since my surgery and initial dose of radioactive iodine. The last

time being the treatment I received on February 19th of this year.

I was on SSI disability for several years after I was first diagnosed with the

Cancer, then lost it because I got married. I have fought to get it back since

my divorce, but have been denied repeatedly, even with 3 recurrences in the last

4 years. Social Security refuses to accept the Fibromyalgia or other illnesses

in my case and my doctors are not backing me up on it. I know, I need to change

doctors, but it's not easy when you're on Medicaid. I am looking around to see

if I can find another more helpful.

I am down to the wire tho...I've received the 3rd denial and must appear

before the Law Judge now. I do have a lawyer, but the paralegal told me that

since my doctors are not on my side, we don't have a chance. Since I have been

so depressed lately, I decided to try some counseling. The counselor the center

I went to chose for me is not a Psychologist or Psychiatrist, she is an intern

who happens to be trained in pain management for Fibromyalgia. I've only seen

her twice so far, and she is all excited about the mental and physical exercises

she is planning for me. She wants nothing to do with putting me on any more meds

than my PCP already has me on (Zanaflex, Clinoril and Serzone, plus others non

related to the Fibro). The counselor also told me yesterday that she will *not*

offer an opinion of any kind on my behalf to Social Security...that she doesn't

feel it's right to try and help me get better and help prove me disabled. She

said if I follow her treatment plan, she is sure I will do great and will be

able to work.

Even with all of my medical problems, my emotional issues causing the

depression (alot more to it than just the constant pain, but she doesn't want to

discuss that). Plus the fact that I have never worked before, had no training of

any kind and don't know how to drive. I called another facility today to check

about seeing someone there, but they told me that it would be November before

they could get me in. Geez...and folks wonder why sometimes it seems like it

would be better just to not be here anymore. *sigh*

Ok, I promised I'd behave now, so I will. I'm sorry this is so long, just felt

like I needed to get some of the stress out tonight. Ya'll take care.

Gentle Hugs,

Jacqui

" Anything less than mad, passionate, extraordinary love is a waste of time.

There are too many mediocre things in life and love shouldn't be one of them. "