thanks for all your help, board members

Posted February 5, 2004 · February 5, 2004

Hi everyone, my name is lashunta and I want to vent some. I started

this whole process with a thought in my mind that this was the

biggest, happiest and god blessing things that has ever happened to

me. Before knowing that wls was a option for me I really felt like I

was going to live my life as a fat woman with no children, or husband

forever. Then my doctor suggests to me surgery and I started

researching and joining different groups to learn and explore wls.

Now I sit here approved for surgery and everything yet I can't make

the next step to move on, I have always been the type of person who

looked for others approval on things going on in my life. The one

person's approval I really took to heart was my mother's and she is

no longer here and every since that day she past away I have felt so

lost in this world, yes some days are better then others but I just

don't know anymore. The groups online at first helped me out in alot

of ways, but I feel I need to seperate myself from the boards until I

can come back and offer some good sound advice to others, and also to

be able to contribute more to the group to someday help someone who

may do through or have problems that I can help them with. I want to

thank everyone on this board and I will return with good news soon.

thanks

Posted February 5, 2004 · February 5, 2004

*BIIIIIG HUGS*

Oh, Lashunta, you sound like you need a hug. God speed and keep your chin

up!

Kathleen in Galt

>

>Reply-To: gastric-bypass-support-kaiser-patients

>To: gastric-bypass-support-kaiser-patients

>Subject: thanks for all your help,

>board members

>Date: Fri, 06 Feb 2004 01:56:16 -0000

>

>Hi everyone, my name is lashunta and I want to vent some. I started

>this whole process with a thought in my mind that this was the

>biggest, happiest and god blessing things that has ever happened to

>me. Before knowing that wls was a option for me I really felt like I

>was going to live my life as a fat woman with no children, or husband

>forever. Then my doctor suggests to me surgery and I started

>researching and joining different groups to learn and explore wls.

>Now I sit here approved for surgery and everything yet I can't make

>the next step to move on, I have always been the type of person who

>looked for others approval on things going on in my life. The one

>person's approval I really took to heart was my mother's and she is

>no longer here and every since that day she past away I have felt so

>lost in this world, yes some days are better then others but I just

>don't know anymore. The groups online at first helped me out in alot

>of ways, but I feel I need to seperate myself from the boards until I

>can come back and offer some good sound advice to others, and also to

>be able to contribute more to the group to someday help someone who

>may do through or have problems that I can help them with. I want to

>thank everyone on this board and I will return with good news soon.

>thanks

>

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Posted February 5, 2004 · February 5, 2004

Hi, Lashunta,

I'm sorry you're missing your mom. It is so hard when the big things

come up in your life and the ones you've counted on all your life are

no longer there. I lost my dad a year ago and miss him terribly.

I just wanted to let you know that your mom would certainly want the

best for you. I am a mom with three grown sons, and if I break it

down to the simplest things, all I want is for my sons to have a

normal, healthy life. A job to support themselves, a comfortable

home, a loving spouse, healthy kids.

We might wish that they could have more, but it really isn't

necessary. Good health, loving family, comfortable existence --

that's enough. (My one personal addition is a hope for a sincere

faith in God.) So, you should know that your mom would want you to be

healthy and happy, and confident to take the steps necessary to get

yourself where you need to be. Take a break if you need to, but don't

go too far -- you may not feel like giving advice, but you are

certainly entitled to your turn to get support. And we're always here

to support each other.

Wishing you the best --

Elaine

Posted February 6, 2004 · February 6, 2004

Hi Lashunta,

I am sorry to hear that you are going through a rough time. I

understand about needing to draw back for a bit . . . but, please, don't

feel that you need to be able to give advice in order to come back.

Pre-op, post-op, having an easy time or struggling . . . we are a community.

Sometimes we can offer advice, sometimes we need it.

Hope to see you again at the next San Leandro Support Group meeting.

Take care,

Kay

open RNY 12/1/03

lashunta7824 wrote:

Hi everyone, my name is lashunta and I

want to vent some. I started

this whole process with a thought in my mind that this was the

biggest, happiest and god blessing things that has ever happened

to

me. Before knowing that wls was a option for me I really

felt like I

was going to live my life as a fat woman with no children, or husband

forever. Then my doctor suggests to me surgery and I started

researching and joining different groups to learn and explore wls.

Now I sit here approved for surgery and everything yet I can't

make

the next step to move on, I have always been the type of person

who

looked for others approval on things going on in my life.

The one

person's approval I really took to heart was my mother's and she

is

no longer here and every since that day she past away I have felt

so

lost in this world, yes some days are better then others but I

just

don't know anymore. The groups online at first helped me

out in alot

of ways, but I feel I need to seperate myself from the boards until

I

can come back and offer some good sound advice to others, and also

to

be able to contribute more to the group to someday help someone

who

may do through or have problems that I can help them with.

I want to

thank everyone on this board and I will return with good news soon.

thanks

Posted February 15, 2004 · February 15, 2004

Hi Lashunta,

Don't think you don't have anything to contribute, because you do. Just

because you don't have advice to give doesn't mean you can't give

compassion, cheers, commiseration, etc. These can be as helpful to

someone as advice.

The other concern I have is obesity, for me at least, has been a disease

of isolation. In my case, that's one of the reasons I'm as vocal as I

am. I know that if I start to isolate, that's a problem. Fortunately,

there are several people around here who will come and hunt under rocks

for me until they find which one I've crawled under.

My encouragement to you is to continue to read, and contribute what you

feel you can when you can. I almost said to contribute what you feel

comfortable contributing, but for me, I need to get out of my " comfort

zone " to progress. If I'm comfortable, that means I'm generally not growing.

Hope this helps some. I hope to see you at the next Oakland meeting!

Eleanor

P.S. Yes, I'm still WAY behind on e-mails, which is why this is so long

getting to you.