Re: I'm getting scared

[Guest guest]

Hi Mel

Don't be scared you will do great. The boyfriend though, I hope he is

supportive and stands by you. Now I should be scared, but I'm not

can't wait Thursday is almost here. Tomorrow is my last day for work.

I'm taking Wednesday off for pre op M.O.M. lol. Want to be close to

home, throne lol. Don't know about your suplimental ins, my last job

had something similar and it ended up paying 70 cents a day it was a

joke. I'm filing for state disability. See you soon.

> Hello All,

>

> As I have said before, thank you all for your wonderful post. I

don't

> get to post much. I figure after my surgery I will be able to post

> more. That could be a bad thing for you all as I will be asking all

> kinds of things.

>

> As I get closer to my date I get more and more nervious. I know

this

> is the right thing for me to do but it still worries me a little. I

> am hoping you will all have good thoughts for me on 4/15/04.

>

> I have a couple of things to run by you. I have this wonderful new

> man in my life who I just told about my decision. He is a RN that

> does not have a good feeling about WLS. He thinks its a bad idea

and

> has seen first hand the bad side of the coin. I told him if he

wants

> to be with me he needs to support me in my decisions.

>

> Its very new for us so I don't know where it will go. Has anyone

delt

> with new friendship that could lead to more at the beginning of

your

> journey?

>

> I feel that I should put it on hold till I get through this.

>

> My next question is on Leave of Absence programs. Not State

> Disibilty.

>

> My company has a suplimental insurance plan that will pay up to 70%

> of your salary while you are out on medical leave. There seems to

be

> a posiblity that they might not accept my claim due to this

procedure

> being " Elective " . Has anyone had any experience with something like

> this.

>

> Thank you all

>

> Melveta

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

You are in my thoughts. I'll be calling to check on how you are

doing.

Melveta

> > Hello All,

> >

> > As I have said before, thank you all for your wonderful post. I

> don't

> > get to post much. I figure after my surgery I will be able to

post

> > more. That could be a bad thing for you all as I will be asking

all

> > kinds of things.

> >

> > As I get closer to my date I get more and more nervious. I know

> this

> > is the right thing for me to do but it still worries me a little.

I

> > am hoping you will all have good thoughts for me on 4/15/04.

> >

> > I have a couple of things to run by you. I have this wonderful

new

> > man in my life who I just told about my decision. He is a RN that

> > does not have a good feeling about WLS. He thinks its a bad idea

> and

> > has seen first hand the bad side of the coin. I told him if he

> wants

> > to be with me he needs to support me in my decisions.

> >

> > Its very new for us so I don't know where it will go. Has anyone

> delt

> > with new friendship that could lead to more at the beginning of

> your

> > journey?

> >

> > I feel that I should put it on hold till I get through this.

> >

> > My next question is on Leave of Absence programs. Not State

> > Disibilty.

> >

> > My company has a suplimental insurance plan that will pay up to

70%

> > of your salary while you are out on medical leave. There seems to

> be

> > a posiblity that they might not accept my claim due to this

> procedure

> > being " Elective " . Has anyone had any experience with something

like

> > this.

> >

> > Thank you all

> >

> > Melveta

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Thank you for giving me a male prespective. I am beginning to think

that starting a relationship right now is just not a good idea. I do

need someone in my life that will be supportive. I don't want to do

anything that might hinder my healing process. Thank you again for

sharing.

Mel

> I am preop as you are. I met a woman a year ago who I found

through my explorations with her that I think I finally found my

Lady. We were even discussing the possibility of marraige sometime

down the road due to the fact that we clicked in all the ways that

are important except sexually. Not that I was impotent you

understand, but I had a problem reaching climax because I became too

tired too fast. 7 months later I made the decision to begin seeking

wls and began the process. She recognized that my weight will be a

barrier to us and is supporting me all the way. We are still close

but until the sugery thing is resolved, our wedding plans are on hold.

>

> My point is, she may or may not stay with me after I get to my

goal. It sounds like, from all I've read on these boards, that in

many cases, a major psychological change happens and the patient must

change his/her attitude in order to be successful. This is my one

fear, that she will see the change and recognize that I am not for

her after all. Am I using her to get well? Maybe, but I really do

believe that she is willing to stay with me.

>

> The way I figure it, is, if she doesn't want to stay with me, then

that is ultimately her problem. I'd like to stay with her but if she

can't accept me now or when I finish/continue with my surgical

journey, then I will be better off not being with her. It will be

painful, the break that will happen, but I will survive.

>

> Think about your commimittment to him and his to you. If he will

give you too much negative energy due to your decision, dump him now

(gently, of course) so that you don't have a problem healing due to

him. BUT, if in discussions with him, you think he might suppport

you, then go for it with him. It would be a great thing for him to

support you as needed but only if he will support you and not break

you down.

>

> Peace and good luck,

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Just my 2 cents...you need to do what is best for you now and if he's

there and supportive afterwards, great, if not then it wasnt the

right person to be in your life anyway.

As far as the insurance, if you were approved by kaiser and it was

deemed medically necesary then there should not be a problem with the

disablitity...I am sure your doctor could provide supporting

documentation.

Shanna

> Hello All,

>

> As I have said before, thank you all for your wonderful post. I

don't

> get to post much. I figure after my surgery I will be able to post

> more. That could be a bad thing for you all as I will be asking all

> kinds of things.

>

> As I get closer to my date I get more and more nervious. I know

this

> is the right thing for me to do but it still worries me a little. I

> am hoping you will all have good thoughts for me on 4/15/04.

>

> I have a couple of things to run by you. I have this wonderful new

> man in my life who I just told about my decision. He is a RN that

> does not have a good feeling about WLS. He thinks its a bad idea

and

> has seen first hand the bad side of the coin. I told him if he

wants

> to be with me he needs to support me in my decisions.

>

> Its very new for us so I don't know where it will go. Has anyone

delt

> with new friendship that could lead to more at the beginning of

your

> journey?

>

> I feel that I should put it on hold till I get through this.

>

> My next question is on Leave of Absence programs. Not State

> Disibilty.

>

> My company has a suplimental insurance plan that will pay up to 70%

> of your salary while you are out on medical leave. There seems to

be

> a posiblity that they might not accept my claim due to this

procedure

> being " Elective " . Has anyone had any experience with something like

> this.

>

> Thank you all

>

> Melveta

[Guest guest]

MEL MY GIRL,

THIS IS MY OPINION, IF THIS NEW MAN REALLY CARES ABOUT YOU AND CAN

SEE HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS TOO YOU AND THAT YOU'VE DONE YOUR RESEARCH

AND ARE HAPPY WITH YOUR DECISION, THAT I FEEL HE SHOULD BE

SUPPORTIVE. yOUR NEW GUY HAS THE RIGHT TO HIS OWN OPINION AND JUST

BECAUSE HE'S A NURSE DOESN'T MEAN THAT HE CAN TRULY SPEAK ON THE LONG

TERM EFFECTS OF THE SUCCESS THIS SURGERY HAS HAD FOR PEOPLE THAT ARE

OBESE...I AM SURE THAT HE MIGHT HAVE HEARD OF SOME PEOPLE THAT HAD

COMPLICATIONS, BUT THE SUCCESS RATE IS ALOT HIGHER AND ALL MAJOR

SURGERIES HAVE A RISK OF COMPLICATIONS. I THINK IF THIS GUY IS AS

WONDERFUL AS YOU SAY HE IS, THEN HE WILL BE SUPPORTIVE OF YOU AND

STAND BY YOU THROUGH THIS LIFESTYLE CHANGE YOU ARE GOING TO GO

THROUGH.

I WILL SPEAK FROM EXPERIENCE NOW, MY MAN I HAVE BEEN WITH FOR ALMOST

13YRS, HE WAS VERY SKEPTICAL OF THE WHOLE WLS THING, BUT HE HAS CAME

AROUND AND IS NOW VERY SUPPORTIVE OF MY DECISION AND HE IS STANDING

BY ME THROUGH THE WHOLE THING.

I THINK YOU SHOULD GIVE THE RELATIONSHIP MORE TIME AND SEE WHERE IT

GOES AND WHEN IT GETS CLOSER TO THE DATE IF HE STILL FEELS STRONGLY

ABOUT YOU NOT GOING THROUGH WITH IT, THEN I WOULD NICELY GET RID OF

HIM!!!

AS FAR AS FOR THE LEAVE OF ABSENCE THING, YOU KNOW I DON'T KNOW

ANYTHING ABOUT THAT.. I AM FILING FOR STATE DISABILITY AND THAT'S

PRETTY EASY, IT JUST TAKES FOREVER TO GET YOUR MONEY!!!

wELL GIRLFRIEND, HANG IN THERE AND STAY STRONG, WE WILL BE GOING

THROUGH THIS WHOLE LIFESTYLE CHANGE TOGETHER, SO LEAN ON ME.

GOD BLESS YOU,

HEATHER SMITH

> Hello All,

>

> As I have said before, thank you all for your wonderful post. I

don't

> get to post much. I figure after my surgery I will be able to post

> more. That could be a bad thing for you all as I will be asking all

> kinds of things.

>

> As I get closer to my date I get more and more nervious. I know

this

> is the right thing for me to do but it still worries me a little. I

> am hoping you will all have good thoughts for me on 4/15/04.

>

> I have a couple of things to run by you. I have this wonderful new

> man in my life who I just told about my decision. He is a RN that

> does not have a good feeling about WLS. He thinks its a bad idea

and

> has seen first hand the bad side of the coin. I told him if he

wants

> to be with me he needs to support me in my decisions.

>

> Its very new for us so I don't know where it will go. Has anyone

delt

> with new friendship that could lead to more at the beginning of

your

> journey?

>

> I feel that I should put it on hold till I get through this.

>

> My next question is on Leave of Absence programs. Not State

> Disibilty.

>

> My company has a suplimental insurance plan that will pay up to 70%

> of your salary while you are out on medical leave. There seems to

be

> a posiblity that they might not accept my claim due to this

procedure

> being " Elective " . Has anyone had any experience with something like

> this.

>

> Thank you all

>

> Melveta