:(

[Guest guest]

I have no idea what she is get done, she just knows since a few hours,

that she has it and that she will have surgery. Think she did not even

realy understand what the doctor told her.

No, there is no family arround her, where she lives. And does not

everybody need a bit of a smile and a bit of care, beeing sick? I am

so messed up, as it is sure a distance between us. Yes, postcards,

phonecalls, emails, we did all of this when she had the heartattack 2

years ago, but is not an helping hand, or a hug worth much more? Yes I

could take our money and go over but as it is not right next corner,

it would need a few days to get it organized. And the longest I could

stay would be 3 month. Now what are three month? So it is to make the

right dayes, Iwould like to be there a few days before the surgery

and than while the surgery to visit in the hospital and probably to

get her out of hospital a bit earlier, as we could say there is

homecare available. But with all this distance, how can I organize

that? I dont even know, what they will do to her, how it might turn

out, how she will feel and how she will react. All I want is to be

there for her.... but otherwise I would be in a strange country for a

long time and also would need to smile to her and would have nobody to

talk, would I be THIS strong? And than, would it be right, to go and

to know, maybe she gets worse and than I have to go home, would we

feel better than? There are so many questions, what to do the best.

but what about my own family, would it not be unfair to leave them for

such a long time? I dont know anymore what to do, realy not.........