peeved

[Guest guest]

Hi group...............I've been sitting on a peeve for a few days, thinking if

enough time passes I'll get over it. Not working.

Here's the thing. I only use my wheelchair when I go out. My friends/family are

cool with this. Strangers are another story. It seems that one must have a

visible reason for being in a chair - a cast on a broken leg, a neck brace,

extreme old age - RA doesn't fall under any of the " accepted " catagories(which

is fine with me, but apparently not for everyone).

Now, I can put up with a lot, but something happens to me when I'm treated like

my IQ drops to my shoe size when I get in the chair. People either yell at me

(because obviously I cannot hear if I'm in a chair), treat me like a child and

pat me on the head (because obviously children like to be patted), sympathize

with me .... " I know just how you feel " (because obviously they DON'T have a

clue), use me as an example to the downside of everything from " getting old " to

not taking " care " of myself (one woman in a grocery store pointed me out to her

3 or 4 year old and said " this is what we can expect when we get old " ....I'm

55), or I am flat out ignored. I've had people talk over me, around me, through

me......but not to me. Even when I ask the questions etc, they respond to the

person with me. Hello...what's going on, am I invisible?

Well, I know it's my responsibility to educate - how can they know if no one

tells them................however, I am not always the most subtle person, and

when pushed enough I do tend to get defensive. I swear, one day - for the pure

hell of it - I'm going to start drooling, or picking my nose.......give them

what they expect.

'Course, this is no solution..................how do others deal with this? I

know I'm not the only one treated this way. Any comments will be appreciated.

Didn't mean to rattle on so...............