Re: hand in there Sue

[Guest guest]

Sue:

here, haven't been able to read all the posts but I understand

your having a difficult time. I have also been having a very hard time

in my personal life but God has been helping me through. I certainly

don't always see his plans or understand why. Personally I have come to

think that bad and ugly things happen to good people (as we all know

with this disease) and I'm not real sure God doesn't give us more than

we can handle, but here is what helps get me through, especially when

our children are at risk.

When your so down and having difficulty finding the good in things, just

envision God

wrapping his arms around you in a blanket and keeping you from harm. He

loves us and will work towards helping us survive. Somedays I have to

go hour to hour asking for his help to keep going but he always helps.

If I stopped to look at the big picture I would be so overwhelmed, I

wouldn't get out of bed. Give your troubles to him and keep letting

them go. It is very hard but when you start to worry again just see

yourself handing up

a package to him full of worry, trouble and distress. Keep doing that

when you feel overwhelmed.

I have started to begin each day before I get up laying in bed and

thanking God for all

the good things I have. My daughter, my new job, a home to live in,

wonderful parents,

this group, a car to get around in. I ask God to help me make someone

elses life better

today or become a little less selfish and think of others. Focus on

helping others and it

helps alittle with the hurt. Doesn't mean I don't cry every day for all

the things I have lost

including my health but just cry a little and then try to help others.

It really does help. Smile at someone at the store and see them smile

back. Often I have thought if only they knew what a horrible time I was

going through, but they smile and say hi back. Then I realize there are

nice people out there and it does help. Watch the reaction when you let

someone in line in front of you at the grocery when they only have a

couple items and you

have a basketfull, it really does help.

Again, I know what it is to have your child or children at risk and it

hurts more than any pain I have experience. Every ounce of me at times

wants to scream and do something drastic, but I can't because I would

hurt my daughter more. The pain of a child or their safety can be down

to the soul. Please don't hesitate to contact me personally if I can

help in any way or lend moral support. So many have been there for me I

would love to give back some of what I have received.

Just take one hour at a time and pray. God will be there even if you

can't see how. I'm trying to learn that it's not for me to understand,

just have peace that God is with you and

will help you in your time of need.

Bless you, you are in my prayers

SUE7RN@... wrote:

> From: SUE7RN@...

>

> Thanks Lu.... I'm really nervous about this hearing over visitation.

> My ex is

> trying to control me... He wants it so that anytime I go somewhere

> without my

> children that I have to call him and ask him if he wants to provide

> child

> care....which means a long distance phone call.... which means about

> 30 miles

> out of my way.... and the fact that my children will be really

> stressed

> out.... My 12 year old son went through being suicidal 10 months

> ago.... the

> school guidance counselor called me and told me he was talking to her

> about

> hurting himself so he wouldn't have to go to his father's that he

> would

> rather be dead than go there.... it's a mess.... my 12 year old has

> been on

> an antidepressant so he can visit his father..... SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

> Now my ex

> is furious with me and is seeking revenge because I filed contempt

> charges

> for not paying child support for over 6 months and alimony for 4

> months....

> but he's building a $300,000.00 home and has many luxuries while I'm

> on

> disability..... He was found guilty of contempt.... so the day of the

> hearing

> he filed for threee different things through the court.... a DECREASE

> in

> child support.... this child care agenda.... and contempt charges

> against me

> because my son did not go with him for several months...(LONG STORY -

> he had

> part of his foot amputated after a crushing injury). Well, anyways

> guys...

> I'm so afraid that if this goes through that it will push my son over

> the

> edge.... so therefore my life would cease.... I would no longer be

> able to

> take a college class... go to the grocery store without them.... go

> out on

> Friday and Saturday evening with my honey.... my boys would hate me if

> I put

> them through that! I keep praying that he will just leave us alone...

> He is

> sooooooooooooooooo upset that I didn't die when he left me and that I

> have

> actually moved on with my life and that I am very happy and could care

> less

> about him.... He expected that I would mourn after him forever or die.

> So

> he's going to try this control thing.... he knows that I will protect

> the

> boys and that I will stay home if I have to.

> Please keep my boys in your prayers today.

>

> Do any of you have a difficult time with your faith? I am really

> struggling with mine... I guess I just wonder why I am going through

> all of

> this.... RP, and the ex, and the children.... WHY and if there was a

> GOD, why

> hasn't he got the hint that I can't take anymore. I truly feel I'm

> right on

> the edge. If my ex gets what he's asking for.... it will push me over

> the

> edge. I truly feel that way. Why bother... I'm not allowed to

> live...I'm

> under a microscope....I have to watch everything I do... I'll have to

> call

> and report in to my ex every time I want to do something... That's no

> way to

> live!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I let him go without any fight...I signed the

>

> divorce papers without a question. Why can't he just leave me and the

> boys

> live our lives happily? Heck... he's remarried.... He married his

> mistress....that he was having an affair with while I was in the

> hospital

> fighting for my life in ICU for almost 6 months....I need some

> insight. My

> faith in GOD use to be so strong and now I'm really questioning all of

> that.

> My faith in GOD use to give me strength but I'm exhausted...Why would

> GOD

> allow this to be happening? I'm a good person... a moral and ethical

> person.... WHY????????????????? Do any of you struggle with

> this?????????????????????????????????

> Please pray for me... for strength and

> understanding..................I

> really need it desperately!

> Take care,

> SUE

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